Preferred title for significant other?

[Moore11]

Don’t worry, I do realize that, it’s just way of phrasing the fact that we are not financially ready to get married. As for actually becoming engaged, I guess I think of an engagement as a time to actively prepare for a marriage, I mean, we’ve already both told each other that we intend to get married… So I guess whether or not we are ‘engaged’ depends on what you think being a ‘fiancé’ means. Which actually comes back nicely to my original question!

What does being a boyfriend/girlfriend imply in your opinion?

What about a fiancé?

Intended? Beau?
Significant Other? Partner?

Are there any other ‘titles’ out there, and if so, what do you think about them and their implications?

For me, boyfriend/girlfriend has connotations of immature teenage relationships or else the secular dating scene where a relationship is just temporary and not necessarily geared towards marriage.

Fiancé Implies that you are ready to plan your wedding and make the commitment of marriage

Intended… I had never heard of this before so I’m not really sure, but it definitely implies more of a commitment than girlfriend or boyfriend as I see it.

Beau, again, I’m not really sure about what it implies, but is certainly lacking many of the connotations I see in GF/BF

Significant Other/ Partner are both very general words, seems best to use them when one is not sure of the status of a relationship.

Again, these are just how I see these words, I’m curious to see how others view them.

I think you are right on in your thinking with your boyfreind. Sounds like you two will prepare very wisely and lovingingly.
How about sweetheart or betrothed, or promised,
The only problem is that you risk sounding pretentious. Before your time, there was a show called cheers, a character on it was named dianne, she was very pretentious and would always refer to her sig other as her affianced. This conversation just brought back that memory.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I only hate that usage when the “significant other” is known. If you’re inviting John and Jane Smith and you know that they’re married, it’s inappropriate to talk about inviting John and his partner or significant other. You should invite John and his wife. However, if you just met John and wanted to invite him plus one, but didn’t know what status the “plus one” was, then I’m okay using the terms as a generic catch-all until you learn his relationship status.

I am really liking “plus one”. I think we should all start using that. “This is Bob, my plus one.” Or, “I just met Brenda’s plus one, he seems like a very nice man.”

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Don’t worry, I do realize that, it’s just way of phrasing the fact that we are not financially ready to get married. As for actually becoming engaged, I guess I think of an engagement as a time to actively prepare for a marriage, I mean, we’ve already both told each other that we intend to get married… So I guess whether or not we are ‘engaged’ depends on what you think being a ‘fiancé’ means. Which actually comes back nicely to my original question!

What does being a boyfriend/girlfriend imply in your opinion?

What about a fiancé?

Intended? Beau?
Significant Other? Partner?

Are there any other ‘titles’ out there, and if so, what do you think about them and their implications?

For me, boyfriend/girlfriend has connotations of immature teenage relationships or else the secular dating scene where a relationship is just temporary and not necessarily geared towards marriage. I agree.
Fiancé Implies that you are ready to plan your wedding and make the commitment of marriage Agree again
Intended… I had never heard of this before so I’m not really sure, but it definitely implies more of a commitment than girlfriend or boyfriend as I see it. Old fashioned word with the meaning of fiance.
Beau, again, I’m not really sure about what it implies, but is certainly lacking many of the connotations I see in GF/BF Old fashioned again, much more of a boyfriend/date meaning then anything more serious
Significant Other/ Partner are both very general words, seems best to use them when one is not sure of the status of a relationship. Agree. I also see those in “irregular” relationships using them more so I would not use for a serious, heterosexual relationship.
Again, these are just how I see these words, I’m curious to see how others view them.

In your situation, I would recommend speaking to your priest, setting up a budget and plan for becoming financially stable, and then setting a date -even if it is a year or two out. Then he will be your fiance.

 

[chevalier]

Fiancé Implies that you are ready to plan your wedding and make the commitment of marriage

It requires formal betrothal in my book, although I’d be prepared to use it a little more losely. I think I’ve used it at least once to avoid the world “girlfriend” when talking to a religious sister and ordering a mass intention.

Intended… I had never heard of this before so I’m not really sure, but it definitely implies more of a commitment than girlfriend or boyfriend as I see it.

The intended is cool. Participles make fine nouns.

Beau, again, I’m not really sure about what it implies, but is certainly lacking many of the connotations I see in GF/BF

Beau is French for pretty or beautiful. The masculine of “belle”. Wearing kevlar is advised to anybody trying to address me with that. The other reason I dislike it is that it sounds like the uptight kind of 19th century English that gets on my nerve (as witnessed by anybody who’s ever pulled a dated moral theology quote on me here).

Significant Other/ Partner are both very general words, seems best to use them when one is not sure of the status of a relationship.

Significant Other is bizarre newspeak and “partner” is too businesslike.

Again, these are just how I see these words, I’m curious to see how others view them.

Oh, you actually asked! Thanks for the alleviation.

 

[TBenedicta]

I guess I have some clarifying to do! When I asked this I wasn’t actually looking for terms of endearment (although that could be interesting too!). In fact, I wasn’t really thinking about married people at all… I was more so thinking about people in a relationship before they get married. The man I am currently in a relationship is so much more than just a ‘boyfriend’ to me, but I don’t really know what else to call him. We’re dating, and not yet engaged. I guess I don’t like talking about a ‘boyfriend’ and ‘dating’ because those don’t seem to express enough about our relationship. I was curious to see if other people think the same way, and if they have better words to use. Also, I started thinking about people who ‘court’ instead of dating, surely they have a term for the person they are courting? I just thought it would be an interesting conversation, so have at it!

Back when my now-husband and I were dating, I skirted the whole title issue and always introduced him by his name. Even when we were engaged, I disliked the term “fiance” and referred to him by his name. Now that we’re married, I freely use the word husband, as it implies (to me) the sacred ties that bind us in matrimony. In fact, my husband and I both love using our titles as terms of endearment. I’ll often sign my letters or emails to him “Love, Wife”.

You could try using “beloved” or “intended” or “beau” if you’re not too picky about sounding a bit old-fashioned. I happen to think those titles are sweet.

 

[TBenedicta]

Don’t worry, I do realize that, it’s just way of phrasing the fact that we are not financially ready to get married. As for actually becoming engaged, I guess I think of an engagement as a time to actively prepare for a marriage, I mean, we’ve already both told each other that we intend to get married… So I guess whether or not we are ‘engaged’ depends on what you think being a ‘fiancé’ means. Which actually comes back nicely to my original question!

What does being a boyfriend/girlfriend imply in your opinion?

What about a fiancé?

Intended? Beau?
Significant Other? Partner?

Are there any other ‘titles’ out there, and if so, what do you think about them and their implications?

For me, boyfriend/girlfriend has connotations of immature teenage relationships or else the secular dating scene where a relationship is just temporary and not necessarily geared towards marriage.

Fiancé Implies that you are ready to plan your wedding and make the commitment of marriage

Intended… I had never heard of this before so I’m not really sure, but it definitely implies more of a commitment than girlfriend or boyfriend as I see it.

Beau, again, I’m not really sure about what it implies, but is certainly lacking many of the connotations I see in GF/BF

Significant Other/ Partner are both very general words, seems best to use them when one is not sure of the status of a relationship.

Again, these are just how I see these words, I’m curious to see how others view them.

I totally agree with you that the titles “boyfriend/girlfriend” seem juvenile, in large part because so many adolescents are free to “date” or become romantically involved with other kids. (Where are their parents?!) As a Catholic, the problem I saw (and still see) with the “boyfriend/girlfriend” appellation is that it makes no distinction between a more secular, loose/, or free dating culture and the more serious Christian/Catholic culture, where many people who are “dating” are really much more committed than their nonreligious counterparts. (I apologize for the large generalizations, this is just how I saw it as an unmarried Catholic who fully planned on marrying my then-“boyfriend”. I yearned for a way to make it known that my relationship with my now-husband was so much more serious than the relationships many of my girlfriends had with their on-off-on-off-and-on-again boyfriends.) I would generally introduce B by his full name to people who did not know him.

I personally didn’t care for using the title fiance because (to me) it sounded a bit pretentious or froufrou. For people who didn’t know we were engaged, I would simply introduce B by his full name and add “we’re engaged to be married”.

I would not have used “significant other” or “partner” because they were much too general to describe my specific relationship (that of intending to enter the Sacrament of Marriage) with my now-husband.

I do like the names “beau” or “betrothed” or “intended” or “beloved” because of their lack of secular connotation. They are extremely old-fashioned, though, so it’d have to be to your taste! I wouldn’t worry too much about formalities of introduction until you both are engaged or married.

By the way, my husband and I were both very young and very poor (still are!) when we became engaged. My ring was a splurge for him, but we had discussed engagement without a ring and I would have been more than okay with that. You know your own situation better than any of us, but I just want to urge you to remember that sometimes struggles together can be the best kind of struggle. I find we support each other in ways we’d never dreamt of.

Peace!

 

[sanctamaria17]

I use the term fiance. When we were dating, I said companion because I didn’t like the terms boyfriend and girlfriend.

As for terms of endearment, we use a mix of English and Italian terms. Sometimes, he calls me “bubbe.” Yes, it’s Yiddish for “grandma” but I think it’s cute and I’m amused by it. I’ve jokingly asked if I should call him “zeyde” (grandpa) in return. We’re big into irony, as we’re in our twenties.

 

[RebeccaJ]

So the title of another thread got me wondering, what is your preferred title for a ‘significant other’ and why do you like it? What connotations does it have for you as opposed to other titles that could be used?

If I don’t know, I ask people what they prefer about their own relationships.

Is this your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Is this your friend?

Is this your partner?

People know what they prefer and will let you know if you ask.