Pregnancy Outside of Marriage

[SummerSmiles]

I do feel like the PO’d brother of the prodigal son. I do care about her and I hate to see the mistakes she is making in her life. At the same time I just dont want her to mistake our support for encouragement for her deeds. I have never had to experience this situation in family or friendship even. I feel like turning a blind eye and not saying anything is like saying “hey its all ok” when I really truly feel like it is not ok. At the same time I don’t want to be harsh and critical and say “hey how dare you? you big giant sinner” since I am nothing more than a sinner myself just in totally different ways.

I care about her, though the whole situation is a bit mind blowing for me. This is not what one would have ever expected from this girl/woman.

As a Catholic I want to love her. I want her to change her ways and be the person we all know she should be. At the same time I don’t know how to. We told her we are here if she needs anything. We have sent care packages. We try to stay in touch and send cards. I would like to have a better relationship… (we are about 1000 miles apart), and our baby will only be a few months behind hers. I want the kids to know each other. I want to support her having a good life… but if she doesn’t want a good life, how can we help her?

I’m a bit confused. You say that you wouldn’t have expected this from her–so does that mean that she acts like she wants to do better? As in, going to church, talking positively about her faith, etc? Then later you say that “if she doesn’t want a good life, how can we help her?” Does that mean that she’s acting like it’s no big deal, she will live life the way she wants regardless, doesn’t care what anyone or the church says about it? It seems to me like her behavior would be saying one thing or the other. But these things are not always so black-and-white. It could be she’s acting like “I don’t care” as a defense mechanism, and thinking something completely different. It’s hard to know with these things, and you might never understand exactly where she’s coming from.

It sounds like you’re on the right track with trying to keep in touch with her and sending the care packages. She knows that you’re there if she needs help. If she comes to you and wants to talk about it, you can have a conversation about it with her. If she doesn’t, then you know that you’ve done what you can. Continue to pray for her. While you’re at it, pray for yourself and your husband, so that you can have understanding hearts and so that you can handle this in a Christlike manner.

 

[Deefraz]

I do feel like the PO’d brother of the prodigal son. I do care about her and I hate to see the mistakes she is making in her life. At the same time I just dont want her to mistake our support for encouragement for her deeds. I have never had to experience this situation in family or friendship even. I feel like turning a blind eye and not saying anything is like saying “hey its all ok” when I really truly feel like it is not ok. At the same time I don’t want to be harsh and critical and say “hey how dare you? you big giant sinner” since I am nothing more than a sinner myself just in totally different ways.

I care about her, though the whole situation is a bit mind blowing for me. This is not what one would have ever expected from this girl/woman.

As a Catholic I want to love her. I want her to change her ways and be the person we all know she should be. At the same time I don’t know how to. We told her we are here if she needs anything. We have sent care packages. We try to stay in touch and send cards. I would like to have a better relationship… (we are about 1000 miles apart), and our baby will only be a few months behind hers. I want the kids to know each other. I want to support her having a good life… but if she doesn’t want a good life, how can we help her?

You cannot help someone who does not want to change. As a Catholic you do everything you can to set an example, humbly state your beliefs, and provide loving charity. You can pray and sacrifice and do other things for her that she may never be aware of. But ultimately it is her choice, and seeing that she may not choose a path of goodness is a very painful thing to watch. I think of our Lord in the Garden as he saw the horrific death he would experience for all those souls who would never love him, who would turn away and choose hell over him. Even as he experienced that bitter, dreadful sorrow over the loss of those souls he chose to die because of his unending love for them. I think he asks us to do that for others each day, to continue as a beacon of his light that may or may not ever be followed, no matter how painful. To paraphrase Mother Teresa, we are asked to be faithful, not successful. Don’t give up and leave the rest to our Divine Physician. Place your hope in him to give your friend the grace needed to recognize the need for change in her life. And continue to ask him to give you the strength needed to love no matter the cost.

 

[ManOnFire]

I am really struggling with this lately. When did it become OK for women to get pregnant outside of marriage and everyone be all excited and happy? I honestly don’t know what to do. It is a family member in college, living at home. I don’t know how to act or react to the situation. Sure I pray. But what can I do? The situation is such a mess. Family members seem to be all playing the "its no big deal’ game from where I sit. She is still living at home, still going to school and being provided for… almost enabled to continue her sinful life. I don’t know how not to judge the situation. My husband and I do not condone her actions… she is a professed cradle Catholic. We are Catholic. We want to help her but how does one help someone who doesn’t want to change? I have never been in a situation like this before in my life. I need guidance here. I don’t even know what to say or do. We will be visiting home for a while in January, and I am not looking forward to it. My husband and I are happily married for the past 4 years and have a 2 year old boy and one on the way.

Please help.

The 80s were the transition. People were more Church fearing. But the regressives (progressives) realized that teh Church’s power and influence over people could be usurped via entertainment. Fast forward a few decades. The unelected media now determines values and creates public opinion for most people, not the Church. If you do not comply with them, you are “labeled” as “not correct.” This is the great Deception that people refuse to see. There’s nothing wrong with what you state becasue they say so, even though all the research says that kids grow up better with 2 parents. The pop culture is reducing people, not empowering people. This is the great Deception.

 

[commoncents]

I am glad that she is not getting an abortion. We offered to adopt the child if she ever she wanted to pursue that route. She is not young. She is 23. How do we be supportive without enabling her to continue in sin? A new life is a blessing in deed. But continuing to live the life she has is not good for her or for that new baby coming into the world. I guess I don’t know how to be supportive without letting her think that what she is doing is ok???

Its not your place to tell her that she is sinning. I am sure she knows the Catholic views on the matter. Be happy for her and leave it at that. Mention that she is sinning or living a sinful lifestyle and you will guarantee hostility with her for the rest of your life.

 

[baltobetsy]

Crunchycatholic, why do you keep saying she does not want to live a good life? Is it because she has not broken up with the baby’s father? Because she’s not going around in sackcloth and ashes? She’s in a tight spot. This baby has parents who are not married to each other, but she’s doing her best to make sure the baby has the influence of the father in its life. She may believe that the only way to do this is to continue the sexual relationship. Would you prefer that they get married now? Marriages of this kind are often troubled and short. None of this makes continuing the sexual relationship right. However, it does make it understandable. Unless you are her parent or Godmother, it’s not up to you to correct her. You are already modeling right behavior, and that’s enough.

Maybe the most important thing for you now is to pray that your own heart be softened so that you can love this relative in the way God wants you to. Be available to talk about absolutely anything, from diaper rash to moral theology, but do your advising in the same loving way that Jesus would. You need to discover the perfect balance of telling the truth and telling it with gentleness and love. And the most important step is to LISTEN to her, both to understand her and make her feel valued and respected.

Keep praying!

Betsy

 

[mjs1987]

I think I understand the dilemma here. It is hard to strike a proper balance and most people these days go to opposite extremes.

The one extreme are the people that are quick to condemn young women like the OPs family member. They get very mad and are harsh. This does not help the situation and makes the young mother feel guilt and she will often move away from the Church and do worse things.

The other extreme is the non-condemning parents that dont do any correcting. They are so soft that the young mother and father feel they did nothing wrong. They often continue the relationship and become more promiscuous.

There needs to be a balance between the two. While we try to not to be judgmental, it does not mean there shouldnt be real consequences for actions in a way that sends a message not only to the mother and father but to others that might take the same course. This is where the problem lies. People see how easy they get off and dont feel like there are any real consequences.

One punishment that the OPs young family member may have soon is single mother singledom. If the father doesnt marry her, she will find it very hard to find someone else. Men normally run away from single mothers. This fact should be emphasized to her. It may feel good right now and she may have a lot of positive attention right now but it will be a real wake up call when she finds herself not able to find a husband because men dont want to deal with the baby drama. Believe me, there will be lots of drama with the baby.

I feel bad for the baby. I can almost guarantee the baby will have problems. If as the OP said the mothers parents will care for the baby, chances are high the mother will only be there some of the time. The mom will likely milk this for as long as possible. By that point, she might already have other kids with a new father who wont accept a child from another man. Ive seen this happen many times and it works out bad for the baby.

Make sure this doesnt happen. Make sure the mother plays an active role the baby’s life and doesnt abandon it. Grandparents may try hard but they are not the actual mother.

 

[etspiri2sanctus]

Well I am not interested in lecturing her. I know it would do me no good. I am 27. Not much older than her. At 23 I was living my own life, purchased my own home, had my own car, insurance, etc and was paying off my own college loans. 23 Isn’t young like a young teenager being pregnant.

I want to be supportive but I don’t know how. I repeatedly pray when I think of her because it gets to me rather easily. I do know she has a hard road ahead. Even as a mom myself with a loving husband it has not been an easy road. How should I be supportive? Should I give her things she needs? I mean what is the best way to support her? Not financially I would hope. Should I… what? I don’t plan on lecturing her at all. I know when I was 23 I wouldn’t have listened to a word of it. I knew everything.

Remember, Our Lady was an unmarried pregnant teenager through the Will of God… Our Lord looked out for her through her family and gave her the protection of St. Joseph. She had baby Jesus and he turned out just fine.

The girl you speak of made a big mistake; I don’t condone sex outside of marriage. It is a foolish mistake. But treat her with kindness and love. If she truly follows the Catholic Faith, I am sure she has more than once kicked herself in the back side.

As others on this thread have said, give thanks to God that she did not have an abortion. In this day and age, it is unusual for an individual to have a conscience when it comes to the unborn.

 

[crunchycatholic]

Well something hit me last night… Jesus love everyone. It made me cry. He loves everyone and not just me… so I need to step up and do the same thing.

From what I see, though it be hundreds of miles away, she is not interested in change for her life at this point. Everything is fine. She will just move the baby into her childhood home, put a crib next to her bed and all will be well… ok. She has no car of her own, a very limited part time job, not yet finished with college, so many set backs she has yet to really put in the forefront of her mind. Yes she is still seeing the father of the baby. Do I want them to marry… not at all. He is obviously not Catholic and not good for her. She is the person who likes to “fix” things, people usually. She picks people who are not good for her who she thinks she can help who all in all pull her further and further down.

The reason I am surprised by this is that 4 years ago when I met her I would have never imagined this in my wildest nightmares. She is not the type. Upright, good kid, great education looking to go places with her life and grown up with a strong religion. She was hoping to become a missionary nurse and help others in other countries. Her life has taken a drastic turn. She had for quite some time considered becoming a nun. That is why I am shocked. She is also living in a home as the second oldest of 6 children. There are 4 others at home learning from her example and the lack of consequences from the parents.

Besides that… she is the godmother to our son. She is setting a horrible example for him. If I had known that this is how she would have chosen to live her life we would not have put her in such an important role in our sons life. Even 2 years ago she was not the person she has chosen to become. I pray that God turns her life around and she chooses to go with it… to be that example for our son… a good example!!

I guess it is more of a conscious decision to love her and the baby and not her sin. It is really hard to do, everything human in me wants to point it all out… yet I know that is not what Jesus would do.

Thank you who have given kind words of advice. They are very helpful.

 

[baltobetsy]

Besides that… she is the godmother to our son. She is setting a horrible example for him. If I had known that this is how she would have chosen to live her life we would not have put her in such an important role in our sons life. Even 2 years ago she was not the person she has chosen to become. I pray that God turns her life around and she chooses to go with it… to be that example for our son… a good example!!

By the time your son is old enough to understand, this relative may have turned her life around and become the perfect example of the repentant sinner, which we all are in reality, to one degree or another. Don’t give up hope!

 

[violet81]

Here are some questions to ponder and reflect on…

Are you angry that she had sex before marriage or that she got pregnant?

my thoughts- God is the author of pregnancy so it is a reflection of His wisdom. We need to trust it.

What do you suppose is the cause of her willingness to have sex before marriage?
Is she confused about right and wrong?
Or is she deliberately rebelling against what she knows is right and wrong?
If she is confused, why is she confused?

If she is rebelling, why is she rebelling?
What does she fear will result if she obeys God?
Is she angry at God? Why?

Does she really believe sex before marriage will give her the greatest advantage in life?
If so, why? What had led her to believe that?
Are there cultural forces that are influencing her more than her faith?

What are your worse fears for her? That she has endangered her soul? Or that her life will be less pleasant as a result of her actions?

Whatever has caused her to sin against chastity and have sex before marriage is the root of the problem. We must assume that this pregnancy is 1 step towards curing her of her confusion and/or rebellion. God would not have allowed it otherwise.

What is your role to play in helping her heal from her confusion and/or rebellion regarding right and wrong?
If her issue is that she is confused and you tell her that she is wrong in her choices, why would she necessarily believe you?
If her issue is that she is rebelling against God, would your shaming her make her more willing to cooperate with Gods Will?

Here is what I would do in your situation-
I would try to get closer to her…become friends. Support her when you know it is right, and when you can’t support her just stay quiet. At some point she will start ask you questions about your opinions. She may even ask for advice, eventually. Then and ONLY then do you give your opinion…and never as it directly relates to her. She might say “my boyfriend and I are always fighting, I just don’t understand him.” You might say, “I think our culture contributes to the confusion us women have over why men behave the way they do. Our culture encourages us to do all the wrong things.” And then see if that gets her to ask more questions.

Unless you are in a position of authority over her you can’t directly condemn her for her actions. You can only befriend her so that maybe getting closer will give you the opportunity to help her heal from whatever is causing the sinful behavior.

 

[SummerSmiles]

Besides that… she is the godmother to our son. She is setting a horrible example for him. If I had known that this is how she would have chosen to live her life we would not have put her in such an important role in our sons life. Even 2 years ago she was not the person she has chosen to become. I pray that God turns her life around and she chooses to go with it… to be that example for our son… a good example!!

I understand the dilemma you’re having, considering she’s your son’s godmother. Perhaps by the time your son is old enough to understand, she’ll have gained some understanding and some wisdom as well. And if that’s the case, think of what she’ll be able to tell him. She’ll be able to tell him first hand why it’s not wise or moral to have sex before marriage. Continue to pray for her and continue to be a friend to her. A lot can happen over the course of a few years.

 

[JaneGrey]

I think I understand the dilemma here. It is hard to strike a proper balance and most people these days go to opposite extremes.

The one extreme are the people that are quick to condemn young women like the OPs family member. They get very mad and are harsh. This does not help the situation and makes the young mother feel guilt and she will often move away from the Church and do worse things.

The other extreme is the non-condemning parents that dont do any correcting. They are so soft that the young mother and father feel they did nothing wrong. They often continue the relationship and become more promiscuous.

There needs to be a balance between the two. While we try to not to be judgmental, it does not mean there shouldnt be real consequences for actions in a way that sends a message not only to the mother and father but to others that might take the same course. This is where the problem lies. People see how easy they get off and dont feel like there are any real consequences.

One punishment that the OPs young family member may have soon is single mother singledom. If the father doesnt marry her, she will find it very hard to find someone else. Men normally run away from single mothers. This fact should be emphasized to her. It may feel good right now and she may have a lot of positive attention right now but it will be a real wake up call when she finds herself not able to find a husband because men dont want to deal with the baby drama. Believe me, there will be lots of drama with the baby.

I feel bad for the baby. I can almost guarantee the baby will have problems. If as the OP said the mothers parents will care for the baby, chances are high the mother will only be there some of the time. The mom will likely milk this for as long as possible. By that point, she might already have other kids with a new father who wont accept a child from another man. Ive seen this happen many times and it works out bad for the baby.

Make sure this doesnt happen. Make sure the mother plays an active role the baby’s life and doesnt abandon it. Grandparents may try hard but they are not the actual mother.

One punishment that the OPs young family member may have soon is single mother singledom. If the father doesnt marry her, she will find it very hard to find someone else. Men normally run away from single mothers.

Oh please. Im sure she will have more important things to concern herself with. Singledom is not a tragedy you know.

I feel bad for the baby. I can almost guarantee the baby will have problems. If as the OP said the mothers parents will care for the baby, chances are high the mother will only be there some of the time. The mom will likely milk this for as long as possible. By that point, she might already have other kids with a new father who wont accept a child from another man. Ive seen this happen many times and it works out bad for the baby.

Well this baby (me) did not have problems. This baby grew up physically healthy and well adjusted with friends whose parents were such smug marrieds that they inadvertently ended up neglecting their children (my friends) not noticing various drug, alcohol and other issues.

My grandparents helped raise me and my mother did not ‘milk’ this in any way. Instead she has provided for and given me a great life. However I did have relatives who like you, thought ‘out of wedlock’ children like me were destined for failure and treated me as such. Luckily for me as I grew up I began to learn to ignore these ‘great christians’.

You really should not resign this child to a horrible life before such life has even begun.

 

[JaneGrey]

Really? So you consider a 13 year old girl to be a “woman?” I don’t know about any of you other ladies out there, but when I was 13 I was still very young and definitely didn’t consider myself a woman. I wasn’t even menstruating yet (TMI, I know, but I was making a point).

Uhhhhh, maybe you’ve had different experiences with said people, but from MY experience, said people think so poorly of Christians because of how judgmental some of us can be.

**So lets hear it - how do YOU think young women who get pregnant out of wedlock should be treated by their families? The ones who are shunned and treated poorly are the ones most likely to get abortions.
**

People ARE leaving Christianity faster than ever now. But how do YOU know it’s because Christians are becoming more forgiving and less judgmental (or as you put it, making it less relevant)? The more time goes by, the more materialistic the world becomes, and the less we “see God” in society. I think that’s a more accurate reason of why more and more people are leaving Christianity. Whenever I’ve heard people complain about Christianity, it’s always been to complain about how strict/judgmental it is, not about how laid back it has become.

Yes lets hear it.

I have had personal experience with this from supposedly religious people in my family and outside. I have tried so many times on this board to convey to people that is both un Christian and fruitless to treat so called ‘illegitimate’ children or their impending births as social ills. It is a human being for goodness sake!

I have even seen the word ‘bastard’ used on this site. Funny how so few people are reluctant to condemn that.

Yes this has hit a nerve and it always will until peoples’ attitudes change. It saddens me that this child might be born into an environment where she/he might feel unwanted.

 

[Steel_Pinwheel]

Yes this has hit a nerve and it always will until peoples’ attitudes change. It saddens me that this child might be born into an environment where she/he might feel unwanted.

There’s no danger of that. But, there is a danger of this child growing up thinking that it’s perfectly okay to have children outside of marriage.

 

[Debora123]

Yes lets hear it.

I have had personal experience with this from supposedly religious people in my family and outside. I have tried so many times on this board to convey to people that is both un Christian and fruitless to treat so called ‘illegitimate’ children or their impending births as social ills. It is a human being for goodness sake!

I have even seen the word ‘bastard’ used on this site. Funny how so few people are reluctant to condemn that.

Yes this has hit a nerve and it always will until peoples’ attitudes change. It saddens me that this child might be born into an environment where she/he might feel unwanted.

Amen

 

[etspiri2sanctus]

Well something hit me last night… Jesus love everyone. It made me cry. He loves everyone and not just me… so I need to step up and do the same thing.

From what I see, though it be hundreds of miles away, she is not interested in change for her life at this point. Everything is fine. She will just move the baby into her childhood home, put a crib next to her bed and all will be well… ok. She has no car of her own, a very limited part time job, not yet finished with college, so many set backs she has yet to really put in the forefront of her mind. Yes she is still seeing the father of the baby. Do I want them to marry… not at all. He is obviously not Catholic and not good for her. She is the person who likes to “fix” things, people usually. She picks people who are not good for her who she thinks she can help who all in all pull her further and further down.

The reason I am surprised by this is that 4 years ago when I met her I would have never imagined this in my wildest nightmares. She is not the type. Upright, good kid, great education looking to go places with her life and grown up with a strong religion. She was hoping to become a missionary nurse and help others in other countries. Her life has taken a drastic turn. She had for quite some time considered becoming a nun. That is why I am shocked. She is also living in a home as the second oldest of 6 children. There are 4 others at home learning from her example and the lack of consequences from the parents.
What consequences would you have her parents give her? No home? Push her out on the streets with the baby because she has “disgraced” and “embarrased” them? Tell me, how WOULD you handle this situation?

Besides that… she is the godmother to our son. She is setting a horrible example for him. If I had known that this is how she would have chosen to live her life we would not have put her in such an important role in our sons life. Even 2 years ago she was not the person she has chosen to become. I pray that God turns her life around and she chooses to go with it… to be that example for our son… a good example!!

I guess it is more of a conscious decision to love her and the baby and not her sin. It is really hard to do, everything human in me wants to point it all out… yet I know that is not what Jesus would do.

Thank you who have given kind words of advice. They are very helpful.

 

[abchavez]

Hi I am making a comment because I was that girl basically. I got pregnant when i was 25 i had just quit working on my Master’s degree was kicked out of my brother’s house and had just moved in with my parent’s and didn’t have a job I think i got pregnant the night i met my daughters father or the week after… I was raised Catholic but wasn’t practicing at the time…
When i told my parents my Dad smiled and said I thought so and my Mom asked when the wedding was. All of my family was supportive of me and my daughter…they did not condone the action/actions that got me to that point but they loved me and showed me that love.

When I first got pregnant I continued the life that go me there minus the things that were harmful to my daughter. Now I am a very different person. I truly believe that I have changed my life because people were praying for me. Those prayers led me to read a book about the Eucharist and I started attending Adoration and then read a book about our Blessed Mother and since then, slowly but surely, I have been working on changing my life. My life with my daughter is not perfect I am watching her grow up without her Dad, but because the people around me have shown me love she has wonderful examples of how a family should be and how a father should treat his wife and family.

I can understand the questions you are wondering because as i see other girls i know make the same mistakes I wonder what I should do and many of the same questions have entered my mind. But really you need to ask yourself what do you have control over… youreself and that is it. So all you can do is #1 pray for her and #2 be a model for her…like you said earlier Jesus Loves everyone, and the 2nd most greatest command is to Love others. Now if she ever comes to you for advice then that is the time God is probably opening up a window for you get your lecture on And from what you said about her I am sure she is well aware that what she did was not right and that you do not approve. But until God opens up an opportunity for you all you can do is Pray and Love And if you really can’t deal with her situation sometimes it is best to love someone from far away.

As far as it seeming that there are not any consequences for her…you are probably assuming too much. She may have much internal turmoil over this that she is not expressing. I know I went through that and i had never thought about becoming a religious or missionary work and had stopped believing in our faith for many years. So really just Pray say rosaries for her, offer masses for her whatever you think you need to do but pray pray pray. Hopefully that helps abit.

 

[severus68]

I think I understand the dilemma here. It is hard to strike a proper balance and most people these days go to opposite extremes.

The one extreme are the people that are quick to condemn young women like the OPs family member. They get very mad and are harsh. This does not help the situation and makes the young mother feel guilt and she will often move away from the Church and do worse things.

The other extreme is the non-condemning parents that dont do any correcting. They are so soft that the young mother and father feel they did nothing wrong. They often continue the relationship and become more promiscuous.

There needs to be a balance between the two. While we try to not to be judgmental, it does not mean there shouldnt be real consequences for actions in a way that sends a message not only to the mother and father but to others that might take the same course. This is where the problem lies. People see how easy they get off and dont feel like there are any real consequences.

One punishment that the OPs young family member may have soon is single mother singledom. If the father doesnt marry her, she will find it very hard to find someone else. Men normally run away from single mothers. This fact should be emphasized to her. It may feel good right now and she may have a lot of positive attention right now but it will be a real wake up call when she finds herself not able to find a husband because men dont want to deal with the baby drama. Believe me, there will be lots of drama with the baby.

I feel bad for the baby. I can almost guarantee the baby will have problems. If as the OP said the mothers parents will care for the baby, chances are high the mother will only be there some of the time. The mom will likely milk this for as long as possible. By that point, she might already have other kids with a new father who wont accept a child from another man. Ive seen this happen many times and it works out bad for the baby.

Make sure this doesnt happen. Make sure the mother plays an active role the baby’s life and doesnt abandon it. Grandparents may try hard but they are not the actual mother.

A baby is a blessing from God, whatever the circumstances. Any man who would not want to marry a woman with a child would not be a good “catch” and she would be better single.

You “guarantee the baby will have problems” almost smugly. You dont know her but you are making assumptions about her future actions in a very unChristian manner.

 

[severus68]

Yes lets hear it.

I have had personal experience with this from supposedly religious people in my family and outside. I have tried so many times on this board to convey to people that is both un Christian and fruitless to treat so called ‘illegitimate’ children or their impending births as social ills. It is a human being for goodness sake!

I have even seen the word ‘bastard’ used on this site. Funny how so few people are reluctant to condemn that.

Yes this has hit a nerve and it always will until peoples’ attitudes change. It saddens me that this child might be born into an environment where she/he might feel unwanted.

Thank you for sharing your own circumstances in your earlier post. You have done well.

I have never myself seen that awful word used in this forum and would jump in to condemn its use as unChristian, shocking and unacceptable if I ever do.

As I have just posted, a child is a blessing from God whatever the circumstances and the child’s birth should be celebrated according by all who are truly Christian.

God bless.

 

[etspiri2sanctus]

Having seen the experiences of several of my female relatives that were less than ideal, I can only say, bless them, they did the best they could in conditions that would confound, confuse and frighten anyone unless they had the loving support of parents and relatives.
With help they turned out just fine. Perhaps their lives weren’t ideal, but then whose is? So this girl doesn’t get married, that could be a loss, or a blessing. Which of us really know how anyone’s life will progress.

As I said in a previous post, Our Lady was a confused, frightened, pregnant teen ager, but what did her cousin say to her when Mary visited with her. “Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb.”

And what happened when Joseph learned of Mary’s pregnancy? Off he ran, UNTIL an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream and told him to find no fault in this woman. He trusted God and so did Mary.

So should we all. This girl is doing a wonderful thing, bringing new life into the world instead of aborting it. Let us not judge her. She may not realize it now, but she is doing a very brave and unselfish thing. Pray for her.