Pregnancy? Try for, or Postpone, how do U discern?

[Black_Jaque]

but you might notice that nowhere did I indicate I thought I’d turned out all bad or that they hadn’t done anything right.

I noticed that. That’s why I assumed you weren’t in prison.

some families have more [children] than they can handle.

That’s the conclusion I think is erroneous.

Ok, you’re on a desert island with 20 survivors from the shipwreck, and a crate of food. You only have enough food for 10 people. Do you have too many people? Or not enough food?

The conclusion you make will affect the solutions you seek.

I think we agree on things. Maybe it’s just a semantical way of expressing it. To consider your resources, emotional, and mental capacities may definitely be a legitimate factor in discernment. But to look back and draw conclusions just ain’t settin’ well with me.

I really don’t think the bit about “my generation” made much sense, frankly (I’m not sure what it was supposed to mean. My kids are grade school age, my youngest is kindergarten – I’m guessing my generation is yourgeneration).

By your generation I meant you and your siblings, and the rest of the 110 kids.

I wasn’t talking about the kids of my generation in general or even ALL the kids from my neighborhood’s families, but roughly the last half of the kids from individual families.

Sorry my mistake.

My observation was that often the older kids turned out pretty well but at some point the level of parenting dropped off as additional kids came and the younger kids had problems as a result.

Makes sense. About what I’ve seen too. The first mile of a marathon is as easy as running just one mile. It’s the 26th mile that’s so painful. Remember, you’re also admitting that the younger kids turned out pretty well too.

None of your comments explain this coincidence. The outside culture was pretty much the same for all the kids, but the results are quite different.

Hmmm. It’s probably just as it seems. The more kids, the more your character flaws will be challenged.

It’s like a marathon runner who crawls across the finish line. One could say, “They bit off more than they could chew. They should have just run a 10K.” Or one could say, “Yay! They finished!” Sure they could have probably crossed the finish line of a 10K race on two legs and looking much better, but they still wouldn’t have finished a marathon. A couple that raises 2 and sends them to Yale isn’t even running the same race as a couple that raises 8 and barely gets 'em out of the house. It’s like the story of the widow’s might. Who cares about the parents who make child rearing look easy? Who are we to judge that 2 well-formed children is better than 8 fornicating druggees?

Like the bumper sticker says, “My kid can beat up your honor roll student.”

Thanks for the lecture

Sorry. I don’t mean to come off condescending. I’m debating a very worthy point that you bring up. I just have a lot to say about it. I told ya I did a lot of soul-searching myself on this very issue. Used to be a tree-hugging overpopulation-worrying environmentalist, now I’m just a practical environmentalist.

 

[manualman]

I find it helpful to re-read Humanae Vitae fairly often to correct my course. Over time you hear a lot of off course stuff in conversation, some on one side, some to the other.

Ever notice how some people recollect “grave reason” or “most serious reason?” No. It is “serious reason.” And there is a helpful, if vague list of potential reasons nearby. It’s vague on purpose because it IS so variable among people and even changes for individuals as time goes by.

Pray about it. Are you being selfish? Emotional inability to care for more is NOT selfish. It’s honest and humble. But PRETENDING that you can’t handle more to rationalize IS selfish. Don’t let anybody else tell you exactly where the line is for you. You need to discern it in prayer and consultation with your spouse. Paul VI left it vague on purpose, and for good reason.