Pregnant Confirmation Canidate

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Califman831

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During our last retreat there was a rumor that one of the kids was pregnant. At the time I could not verify the validity of the information, so i let the matter rest. At this time having seen the girl walking around town with clear signs of pregnancy the rumor has been verified. What are the rules for excluding her from the confirmation ceremony? Are there still places where a girl can be sent to discreetly have the child? How should the other candidates be informed of the situation, if indeed they allow her to receive the sacrament?
 
Califman831 said:
During our last retreat there was a rumor that one of the kids was pregnant. At the time I could not verify the validity of the information, so i let the matter rest. At this time having seen the girl walking around town with clear signs of pregnancy the rumor has been verified. What are the rules for excluding her from the confirmation ceremony? Are there still places where a girl can be sent to discreetly have the child? How should the other candidates be informed of the situation, if indeed they allow her to receive the sacrament?
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:eek:

What is this, a time warp from 1935?

And I agree, how is this any of your business? Are you a parent? Are you the parish priest? Are you a representative of the Bishop? I think not. :rolleyes:
 
What’s done is done. The girl in question should of course repent for any past sins and seek absolution in the sacrament of penance before her confirmation so she does not incur another mortal sin by being confirmed outside of being in a state of grace. That’s what you should explain to any children WHO ASK, and that’s if you are the child’s parent or a parish catechist. Otherwise, refer the child to an authority for his or her answer.

Remember that gossip is sinful…do not scandalize others by engaging in it.
 
The question is: why is this your concern and why are you creating scandal?
 
Marchmain1987 said:
:eek:

What is this, a time warp from 1935?

And I agree, how is this any of your business? Are you a parent? Are you the parish priest? Are you a representative of the Bishop? I think not. :rolleyes:
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👍

I can almost guarantee that other Confirmation candidates in the same class have had premarital sex. They just don’t have a visible indicator that they have. You have no way of knowing if this girl has Confessed this. Leave the matter alone and thank God that this girl has chosen life for her baby.
 
Califman831 said:
What are the rules for excluding her from the confirmation ceremony?
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a) It is not your place to exclude her from anything
b) There is no basis to deny this girl the sacrament of Confirmation
Califman831 said:
Are there still places where a girl can be sent to discreetly have the child?
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Since you are obviously not her parent, how in the world is this **any **of your business?
Califman831 said:
How should the other candidates be informed of the situation, if indeed they allow her to receive the sacrament?
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Again, not your business and nothing need be said to the candidates.

I certainly hope you will get some guidance from your pastor because you are WAY off base regarding your attitude and approach.

I certainly recognize that her pregnancy indicates poor choices on her part. However, we are all sinners and we can all receive absolution in the sacrament of reconciliation. There is no need to attempt punitive measures against this girl. You absolutely have NO authority or basis on which to deny her the sacraments.

I suggest you butt out immediately.
 
Kevin812 said:
The question is: why is this your concern and why are you creating scandal?
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I am trying to prevent scandal, not cause it.

I am a parish catechist and feel that a girl with a visible belly in front of the bishop would cause scandal. Given that the church is against premarital sex how can it not cause a scandal when girl waddles up the aisle. Lets keep in mind that there will be other children inside the church who may get the wrong idea about the situation. I’m trying to prevent not cause a scandal. I’m not saying she should never be confirmed but rather she should postpone it. The child sadly will most likely be born illegitimate regardless of whether the mother is confirmed or not.
 
Since you have no idea whether or not she confessed this I wouldn’t worry about it. Others in that church have sinned in the exact same way-it just didn’t become visible. I do not think it will create scandal for her to be confirmed. No one should assume confirming her equals accepting bad decisions she has made. We are all sinners that need the grace of the Sacraments.
 
Califman831 said:
I am trying to prevent scandal, not cause it.

I am a parish catechist and feel that a girl with a visible belly in front of the bishop would cause scandal. Given that the church is against premarital sex how can it not cause a scandal when girl waddles up the aisle. Lets keep in mind that there will be other children inside the church who may get the wrong idea about the situation. I’m trying to prevent not cause a scandal. I’m not saying she should never be confirmed but rather she should postpone it. The child sadly will most likely be born illegitimate regardless of whether the mother is confirmed or not.
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If she is seeking confirmation, I will assume that she has already sought forgiveness from our Lord (but that is not our problem either). If another child asks, I would indicate that the Lord forgives all who repent and ask for forgiveness. He does not wait until the consequences of the sin have been completed. AND this is IF there was even sin to begin with!!! Who are we to even know if this child was (God forbid!) raped or sexually abused, and this is the result. Only she and God Himself truly know the state of her soul. Let Him judge, not us.

“He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Jn 8:7(NAB)
 
Califman831 said:
I am trying to prevent scandal, not cause it.
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It isn’t your place to do so. It is the priest’s and no one else’s to talk with this girl and her familiy. He should be talking to each of the confirmands prior to presenting them to the bishop.
Califman831 said:
I am a parish catechist
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Translation: I have absolutely no authority in this matter and have no business trying to bar this girl from confirmation.

This is a matter for your priest, who is the one who will present the candidates to the bishop, to discuss with the girl and her family and no one else. And hopefully much more graciously and charitably than your approach thus far.
Califman831 said:
and feel that a girl with a visible belly in front of the bishop would cause scandal.
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As if her belly isn’t visible all the time.
Califman831 said:
Given that the church is against premarital sex how can it not cause a scandal when girl waddles up the aisle.
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Explain how it would cause scandal, exactly.
Califman831 said:
I’m not saying she should never be confirmed but rather she should postpone it.
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On what basis, other than her pregnancy? Because neither pregnancy nor being a sinner is an impediment to the sacrament of confirmation. In fact, her situation-- if anything-- indicates her desperate need for grace in abundance.
 
Califman831 said:
I am trying to prevent scandal, not cause it.

I am a parish catechist and feel that a girl with a visible belly in front of the bishop would cause scandal. Given that the church is against premarital sex how can it not cause a scandal when girl waddles up the aisle. Lets keep in mind that there will be other children inside the church who may get the wrong idea about the situation. I’m trying to prevent not cause a scandal. I’m not saying she should never be confirmed but rather she should postpone it. The child sadly will most likely be born illegitimate regardless of whether the mother is confirmed or not.
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You’re A parish catechist, but are you directly in authority over the confirmation class and this particular girl? If not, its not your business. And you should pray for the girl, not speculate what should and should not take place.
 
Wow did we forget about the woman at the well, the woman at the wall, or that St Mary of Magdalene was the first to see the Risen Christ.
 
Big_Feet said:
If she is seeking confirmation, I will assume that she has already sought forgiveness from our Lord (but that is not our problem either). If another child asks, I would indicate that the Lord forgives all who repent and ask for forgiveness. He does not wait until the consequences of the sin have been completed. AND this is IF there was even sin to begin with!!! Who are we to even know if this child was (God forbid!) raped or sexually abused, and this is the result. Only she and God Himself truly know the state of her soul. Let Him judge, not us.

“He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Jn 8:7(NAB)
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I was thinking the same thing. We don’t even know the circumstances of the conception.
 
If she is doing her confirmation, she is doing it to please the Lord. Not the people.
 
My mother was confirmed when she was pregnant with me. Apparently at the time of her confirmation it was customary to have the candidates kneel in front of the bishop at the time of confirmation. But, when the Bishop saw my heavily pregnant 4’10" mother waddling down the aisle, he smiled at her and said “You can stand.” There was no scandal involved at all. This was the story she told me at the time of my confirmation. Today, 31 years later, she is one of the the most devoted Catholic women I know.

Anyways, I don’t think you should make a scandal out of this girl being confirmed. And yes, a scandal is what I think you would be creating (even if that is not your intention). Like others have said you don’t know what this girl has confessed in confession. She very likely may be in full communion with the church. And making a scandal out of her receiving this sacrament may very well push her away from the church. Which is not good for her immortal soul. We should be encouraging our members to repent and receive the sacraments. Not discouraging them and humiliating them with scandal. My suggestion is leave her alone.
 
Califman831 said:
I am trying to prevent scandal, not cause it.

I am a parish catechist and feel that a girl with a visible belly in front of the bishop would cause scandal. Given that the church is against premarital sex how can it not cause a scandal when girl waddles up the aisle. Lets keep in mind that there will be other children inside the church who may get the wrong idea about the situation. I’m trying to prevent not cause a scandal. I’m not saying she should never be confirmed but rather she should postpone it. The child sadly will most likely be born illegitimate regardless of whether the mother is confirmed or not.
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I think you need to reexamine your feelings. 👍

None of this is any of your business – don’t you see that? 🤷
 
Incredible to read such non sense. Assuming you are asking a true question and not presenting a fabulation of your mind, you are way off track. If you think you have any sort of authority then i suggest you get over yourself and probably should not be teaching at all. This is not your ministry… really this is such a medieval frame of mind…go back to the basic bro, you really need to educate yourself and stop being a legalistic champion. remember Faith, Hope, Charity…
 
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