Pregnant Confirmation Canidate

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Maria1993 said:
If she is doing her confirmation, she is doing it to please the Lord. Not the people.
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actually most of the kids around here are confirmed to please their parents and for the marriage requirement, sad but true. This is what the DRE, the kids, and fellow instructors have told me. There are those few that do value the church and the sacraments, but they are few in number (God bless them).

Premarital sex and out of wedlock childbirth is a major problem in this region, which is made up of small primarily Hispanic communities and a region with few positive activities. I have been a parishioner here for many years and its rare when the priests actually discuss sensitive problems affecting the youth. Rather they tend to give generic homilies. The Bishop is not a frequent guest down here, as he lives in north county and we live in the southern part. I will email him of the situation, after that i’ll wash my hands of the matter. I’ll chalk this up as rotted fruit that came from a certain event occurred in the 1960’s. As for the 1935 mentioned by another member, all I can say is that things were better within the church and in many ways with the country before the 60’s.
 
Califman831 said:
actually most of the kids around here are confirmed to please their parents and for the marriage requirement, sad but true. This is what the DRE, the kids, and fellow instructors have told me. There are those few that do value the church and the sacraments, but they are few in number (God bless them).

Premarital sex and out of wedlock childbirth is a major problem in this region, which is made up of small primarily Hispanic communities and a region with few positive activities. I have been a parishioner here for many years and its rare when the priests actually discuss sensitive problems affecting the youth. Rather they tend to give generic homilies. The Bishop is not a frequent guest down here, as he lives in north county and we live in the southern part. I will email him of the situation, after that i’ll wash my hands of the matter. I’ll chalk this up as rotted fruit that came from a certain event occurred in the 1960’s. As for the 1935 mentioned by another member, all I can say is that things were better within the church and in many ways with the country before the 60’s.
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What are you going to say in the email? “Heads up, one of the Confirmation candidates is a sinner”?

Are any of the males in the Confirmation class expectant fathers?
 
Califman831 said:
** I will email him of the situation**, after that i’ll wash my hands of the matter. I’ll chalk this up as rotted fruit that came from a certain event occurred in the 1960’s.
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:banghead:

Email the bishop? Really?

What an overreaction to a situation that is none of your business to begin with.
What a truly wicked and judgmental thing to do.

Who do you think are – The Father, the Son, or the Holy Spirit?

And I hope you are not talking about the Second Vatican Council.
So you judge people in your parish and the Church as a whole?

Does the Holy Father have you speed dial? :rolleyes:
 
Califman831 said:
Premarital sex and out of wedlock childbirth is a major problem in this region, which is made up of small primarily Hispanic communities and a region with few positive activities.
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Wow.

In all sincerity, you should truly re-think your involvement and/or work with these kids. They deserve someone with higher expectations.

This ain’t 1935.
 
Califman831 said:
As for the 1935 mentioned by another member, all I can say is that things were better within the church and in many ways with the country before the 60’s.
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Which is exactly the poster’s point - in 1935 the pregnant teen was NOT excluded, ostracised, shunned, nor gossiped about behind her back to a bishop for being pregnant.

She was instead treated the exact opposite of how you want to treat this poor girl. In 1935 the expectant mother was welcomed heartily, and confirmed alongside all her fellows.

Things have indeed deteriorated since 1935 when you obviously cannot bring yourself to show the same compassion, common decency and charity that was given to this woman back then.
 
Let us not forget that if we were without sin ourselves, the pews would be empty.

Would it have been better for her to have an abortion and not tell a soul that she was ever pregnant, so as to not appear scandalous before the Bishop?

No.

She has sinned, or perhaps she hasn’t. As someone else stated we do not know the circumstances of how she became pregnant.

Better she come to church and pray for the forgiveness of her sins, than to be out on the streets alone in the world without God.
 
What would even be the point of excluding her from the ceremony? So that the baby will be sitting in the pew instead of in her stomach? She will still have the baby, just not inside her. The baby won’t magically disappear.

Trust us on this. Don’t email the Bishop. He will not heed your request and it will only make you look bad.
 
anp1215 said:
Trust us on this. Don’t email the Bishop. He will not heed your request and it will only make you look bad.
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If I ever did something as silly as that, it would be my luck the Bishop would actually answer me back. :eek:

I’m sure whatever he said would be pastoral and fair vis-à-vis my imprudence.
 
Califman…Using your reasoning, the following Saints would not be worthy to sit at the Lord’s table…

Saint Augustine…Had an illegitimate son.
Saint Margaret of Cortona…Had an illegitimate son
Dorothy Day…Not an official saint yet. Her case for canonization is still open. Had both an abortion and another illegitimate daughter.

What else do ALL of these people have in common? They all lived before 1960.

Anyways, Our Lord has not called the righteous, but the sinners. By your self righteous, holier than art thou attitude, you may very well drive this girl and her baby out of the church. You have no idea what the state is of her soul. As someone else said there very well be no sin involved. You have no idea. Stay out of it.
 
Califman831 said:
During our last retreat there was a rumor that one of the kids was pregnant. At the time I could not verify the validity of the information, so i let the matter rest. At this time having seen the girl walking around town with clear signs of pregnancy the rumor has been verified. What are the rules for excluding her from the confirmation ceremony? Are there still places where a girl can be sent to discreetly have the child? How should the other candidates be informed of the situation, if indeed they allow her to receive the sacrament?
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:eek::eek:

Yikes!

Why would you exclude her from being confirmed? I don’t think people send pregnant girls/women away to have their babies anymore and where in the world would they be sent? Why would you think the other candidates should be informed of the situation, or that it should be discussed with them at all? They have eyes to see that the girl is pregnant just as you do, so why would anything have to be said to them at all? How old is the girl? Around here, youth are confirmed in the 8th grade, which means they are confirmed at age 14. If she is that age, that means a crime has been committed even if she was a willing participant, which none of us knows one way or the other. Even if she was willing, she is too young to give consent and that is a very real concern.

I think I understand your other concerns. You don’t think she should be confirmed with her class because she is pregnant and that is scandalous for her peers. But, how should this situation be handled? Eventually, she is going to have the baby. Then what? Is it less scandalous for an unwed mother to be confirmed? Her peers won’t just forget about the baby. And, she is already an unwed mother, isn’t she? When would be a good time for her to be confirmed so that she doesn’t give scandal? Should she wait until she is married to either the father of her baby or someone else? Should she wait until she is of legal age to be confirmed since she is a mom? When would be a good time to not give scandal, considering she is pregnant now and it is known that she is pregnant now?

Perhaps you yourself should seek guidance from your spiritual director. Take the matter to confession. Tell the priest about your troubled heart. Unburden yourself. Give your concerns to him, give them to God. Then, try to let it go.

I do understand that the situation is delicate, but if you can see she is pregnant, then the priest at your parish/school can also see she is pregnant. I think if he thinks she is prepared to be confirmed and her sponsor thinks she is prepared to be confirmed, then I think you must accept that that is the end of the matter.
 
Marchmain1987 said:
If I ever did something as silly as that, it would be my luck the Bishop would actually answer me back. :eek:

I’m sure whatever he said would be pastoral and fair vis-à-vis my imprudence.
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I’m sure the good Bishop would be very pastoral in his response (if he responded) but I would think the response would be accompanied by a hearty eye roll.
 
SwizzleStick said:
:eek::eek:

Yikes!

Why would you exclude her from being confirmed? I don’t think people send pregnant girls/women away to have their babies anymore and where in the world would they be sent? Why would you think the other candidates should be informed of the situation, or that it should be discussed with them at all? They have eyes to see that the girl is pregnant just as you do, so why would anything have to be said to them at all? How old is the girl? Around here, youth are confirmed in the 8th grade, which means they are confirmed at age 14. If she is that age, that means a crime has been committed even if she was a willing participant, which none of us knows one way or the other. Even if she was willing, she is too young to give consent and that is a very real concern.

I think I understand your other concerns. You don’t think she should be confirmed with her class because she is pregnant and that is scandalous for her peers. But, how should this situation be handled? Eventually, she is going to have the baby. Then what? Is it less scandalous for an unwed mother to be confirmed? Her peers won’t just forget about the baby. When would be a good time for her to be confirmed so that she doesn’t give scandal? Should she wait until she is married to either the father of her baby or someone else? Should she wait until she is of age to be confirmed?

I do understand that the situation is delicate, but if you can see she is pregnant, then the priest at your parish/school can also see she is pregnant. I think if he thinks she is prepared to be confirmed and her sponsor thinks she is prepared to be confirmed, then I think you must accept that that is the end of the matter.
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The ironic thing is, for that to happen, there’s a good chance she would have to be confirmed first!
 
Califman831 said:
I am trying to prevent scandal, not cause it.

I am a parish catechist and feel that a girl with a visible belly in front of the bishop would cause scandal. Given that the church is against premarital sex how can it not cause a scandal when girl waddles up the aisle. Lets keep in mind that there will be other children inside the church who may get the wrong idea about the situation. I’m trying to prevent not cause a scandal. I’m not saying she should never be confirmed but rather she should postpone it. The child sadly will most likely be born illegitimate regardless of whether the mother is confirmed or not.
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I think she’s fairly heroic for being willing to go through a public ceremony. BTW, is her pregnancy the result of a sexual assault?

I agree with everyone else. The pastor is the only one who needs to be concerned in any way. “Waddle?” Srsly? You’re the catechist? This is charity to you?

Maybe you can tell us what Parish so we can send the thread to your Pastor and see what he thinks of you.
 
1ke said:
What part of “it is not your place” do you fail to understand? It is not your place to email the bishop.
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The Bishop will either take the matter seriously or he will not, but he will be informed, so why are u all getting mad about? I have have seen many posts on this site that recommend reporting all cases of “possible” abuse to the priests, bishops, and/or their superiors. Am submitting it to the system that is supposed to set things straight, yet some on here wish me to stick my head in the sand and act like nothing is wrong. This is the type of mindset that has created radical nuns, priests that take liberty with the holy mass. I intend to document, report and most importantly pray for the health of the church. If am wrong wrong on the issue am wrong, but at least the clergy will be informed informed and they will decide the matter according to the church’s rules.

.
SAINT MICHAEL
THE ARCHANGEL

St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen…
 
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