Saint Augustine “got around”, if you will, and people certainly listen to a lot of what he has to say. I don’t see how the Christian thing to do is remove these people from their positions. OP, I am very sorry at the lack of mercy it is seeming that you will get in your situation. Please don’t let any poor treatment you will receive over this sour your love of the church.If she is the only one who looses her job, then that is sexist and I agree if she gets fired, so should the man.
However, Jesus forgives our sins but he does not take away the natural consequences. I personally think if this couple continues to be able to teach, they are sending a strong message ‘There is no need to listen to us because there are no consequences for sin’.
Yes, others in the church with paid jobs sin. However, we can not judge without proof. Sadly, the OP and his girlfriend have committed a sin with evidence so it is a totally different situation that what you are describing
Angie
Augustine had long ago since stopped that behaviour, and his child was grown and gone, before he was ordained to the priesthood. He had already repented and converted, well before beginning to receive pay packets from the Church.Saint Augustine “got around”, if you will, and people certainly listen to a lot of what he has to say.
I’m not saying do nothing, I’m just saying I don’t think they should necessarily be fired.So would two suggest that the Church do nothing about people who publicly flouted God’s laws? Just let them set a bad example for the children they are teaching?
It is a bad idea to put people in leadership positions who can’t follow the basic rules. This does not just apply to the Church, but to everything. No one is expected to be perfect, but everyone is expected to be held accountable for their actions. Should a bishop who has a secret affair with a nun and the result is a child out of wedlock still be allowed to hold his position or would it be better to pull him from that position, replace him, give him some time to work through his sin? Or, do you think it’s best to say, “Well, no one is perfect” and let him continue? The Holy Father removed a bishop for financial issues recently. How much more of a problem do you think is sexual immorality?In my opinion, the better option would be to address that they made a mistake, fell into sin, went to confession, were forgiven, and are working to give their child the best life possible. People think that children are unable to gasp this, but this is forgiveness 101. Seems like a good thing to teach to me.
They both should not be in a teaching position, at least not for some time. It would be wrong to remove one and not the other.If she is the only one who looses her job, then that is sexist and I agree if she gets fired, so should the man.
However, Jesus forgives our sins but he does not take away the natural consequences. I personally think if this couple continues to be able to teach, they are sending a strong message ‘There is no need to listen to us because there are no consequences for sin’.
Yes, others in the church with paid jobs sin. However, we can not judge without proof. Sadly, the OP and his girlfriend have committed a sin with evidence so it is a totally different situation that what you are describing
Angie
As someone else mentioned, St-Augustine turned his life around before people listened to him. St-Augustine did not say ‘Well the church should forgive me’ and expect everyone to listen to him without repentingSaint Augustine “got around”, if you will, and people certainly listen to a lot of what he has to say. I don’t see how the Christian thing to do is remove these people from their positions. OP, I am very sorry at the lack of mercy it is seeming that you will get in your situation. Please don’t let any poor treatment you will receive over this sour your love of the church.
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us
Nacho, You’re exactly the type of person this young man does not need advice from. This is the strongest retort I’ve written as a member of this forum. You act like you’re above everyone else and beyond sin. Did Christ not warn us about this type of spiritual pride? Remember the Pharisees and the Scribes? If you indeed possess as many virtues as your post seems to boast between the lines, you certainly need the virtues of humility and charity.I have no desire to sound cruel, but I have seen this sort of thing a lot lately and it seems people are seeking sound advice after the fact. Why can’t folks just do what they know to be right before a problem arises and resulting in no need to frantically seek follow on advice? My advice is think next time. God gave us rules to follow for a reason. Now, since someone obviously didn’t listen because they wanted what they wanted now rather than wait, it’s time to take responsibity and deal with the results of very poor choices.
Go to your priest. Admit your wrongs and seek guidance to make your lives right before the Church and God. Stop teaching and begin learning. Don’t forget confession and take it seriously. Prepare for the arrival of a new precious child. People may have a difficult time trusting you with certain things in the future. Expect it and don’t get upset. You earned it. The last thing I can offer is don’t jump to another parish to avoid embarrassment. That’s part of taking responsibility for your actions. It’s hard, but necessary.
First, I’m sorry about those here who are throwing the proverbial first stones. You made a mistake, and you and your girlfriend need to go to Confession and Communion soon and make things right with God; but Our Lord Jesus Christ in His Divine Mercy has given you a huge blessing in spite of that mistake.I am hoping someone can PM me and be a bit of an outside advice person for me. My girlfriend is pregnant. But we are both freaking out. I just found out today through a home test. We are rel ed teachers at our church and so obviously this would be complicated enough with just a pregnancy, but we are in a position of teaching at church and I have no idea what to do. I need someone who feels comfortable being nonjudgmental, listen, and possibly give advice on how to tell family, friends, and our church… just… pm me please.
Well, that’s your opinion and you are certainly entitled to that, just as I am mine, but he got my advice anyway. What he does with it is up to him. Sometimes the truth is not comfortable; however, it’s still the truth. He and she messed up, intentionally. Now it’s time to take responsibility and it won’t be easy, but it will get better if they do. If all they want is a pat on the back and being told its okay, they should seek advice from the world rather than the Church and her members. It can be okay, but it’s going to be an uncomfortable and humble road to get there. If someone doesn’t like hearing this type of message, I imagine they don’t study the Holy Scriptures often or they ignore that difficult parts.Nacho, You’re exactly the type of person this young man does not need advice from…[snip],
The OP stated that he wanted help with the best way how to tell family, friends, and the church. How in the world did you interpret that as shirking responsibility and running away?… the facts are the facts and unless they face up to and accept those facts, there is no real healing that will ever take place, no sincere sorrow for their wrong doing and no lesson learned.
The best way? Tell them, there is no other way around it. It has to be done at some point.The OP stated that he wanted help with the best way how to tell family, friends, and the church. How in the world did you interpret that as shirking responsibility and running away?
I’m not a big fan of ‘tough love’ anyway, as I think it is used as an excuse to snub one’s nose at someone. But a public internet message board is about the worst place I can think of to display ‘tough love.’ It’s one thing if Uncle Bill is talking to you face-to-face, man-to-man. It’s another to be publicly chastised by an anonymous poster who can’t possibly know the whole situation.
My advise - if you want to show your ‘tough love’ in the future, do it in a private message.
It sounds as if you are headed in the right direction. Best of luck to you and your girlfriend. As others have stated this, if properly cultivated, this can turn out to be a great blessing. Understand, at this point, the child takes priority. Things will be difficult, but do not allow yourself to stay discouraged. God has a way of taking our failures and turning them into victories if we just allow Him to do so and we do what He requires of us. People screw up, but God still wants to use us. Look to the great historical figures of biblical history. You will see them fall, then get up and become great men and women. They key to each was they recognized their wrong doing, accepted it, truly repented and moved toward God. I encourage you to do the same.I appreciate everyone’s responses. I have read all and have had limited opportunity to speak with my girlfriend. We will see each other in a couple days to talk, and my hope is to get us in with our pastor asap… regarding teaching I was scheduled to teach 3 different classes of youth on 3 different days… i pray that they can find more teachers to fill in my position. As I am thinking about stepping down till we can make this right with the Church, and with a taking care of my girlfriend I think I need to focus on her and us right now… we’ll see. We’ll talk to the pastor and figure things out. Again, I appreciate the compassionate responses and the wake up calls.
God bless you, your girlfriend, and your baby.I appreciate everyone’s responses. I have read all and have had limited opportunity to speak with my girlfriend. We will see each other in a couple days to talk, and my hope is to get us in with our pastor asap… regarding teaching I was scheduled to teach 3 different classes of youth on 3 different days… i pray that they can find more teachers to fill in my position. As I am thinking about stepping down till we can make this right with the Church, and with a taking care of my girlfriend I think I need to focus on her and us right now… we’ll see. We’ll talk to the pastor and figure things out. Again, I appreciate the compassionate responses and the wake up calls.
One suggestion (speaking from the experience of my DH): do NOT marry her just because she’s pregnant. ONLY marry her if you want to marry her for HER, not because you have a child together. My DH went through that experience. He came to another country to meet a woman he met online, spent 2 weeks with her, proposed, returned to his home to get his affairs in order, then moved in with her. After about 6 weeks they realized they weren’t very compatible and didn’t have much in common, plus they both had significant issues. (She grew up in a very dysfunctional family; he has high-functioning autism which is manageable but does take some getting used to in order to deal with it successfully as a spouse.) They were going to break off the engagement when they found out she was pregnant. He wanted to stay and be a father to the baby, and they got married. Four years later she declared she wasn’t happy and left him. (The marriage was subsequently declared invalid.) DH admits that really, it was a summer romance, and it should have remained a summer romance, and had he really known what he was letting himself in for, he never would have married her in the first place.I appreciate everyone’s responses. I have read all and have had limited opportunity to speak with my girlfriend. We will see each other in a couple days to talk, and my hope is to get us in with our pastor asap… regarding teaching I was scheduled to teach 3 different classes of youth on 3 different days… i pray that they can find more teachers to fill in my position. As I am thinking about stepping down till we can make this right with the Church, and with a taking care of my girlfriend I think I need to focus on her and us right now… we’ll see. We’ll talk to the pastor and figure things out. Again, I appreciate the compassionate responses and the wake up calls.