Pregnant Teen Catholic Graduation

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**Here is an article I watched over the television news that I wanted to bring to the board. I don’t know what the answer is and I know a message needs to be sent that sex is a gift to married people but what do you think about it? How do you feel about the father being able to participate? How does this look that Catholics are pro-life and ousting a pregnant teen? These are the issues I see being asked in the media.
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**Pregnant Teen Takes Graduation by Storm
** *Morning Edition, *May 19, 2005 · The St. Jude Educational Institute in Montgomery, Ala., banned one senior from taking part in her graduation because she is pregnant – but she took part anyway. Alysha Cosby called out her own name and walked across the stage to receive her diploma. The Catholic school had allowed the father of the baby to take part in commencement. The Montgomery Advertiser reports that while some at the graduation didn’t appreciate Alysha asserting herself, many of her classmates cheered.
 
Allowing the father to participate was, as far as my own wisdom goes, not a good move. If they want to send a message, they should send it across the board: extramarital sex is wrong for both parties involved. Period.

Whether or not excluding either of them from the ceremony was the proper action to take I can’t say. She was obviously allowed to graduate and not expelled from the school. That’s something. But who knows how a Catholic school ought to deal with such a scandal?
 
If the school (and by extention the Catholic church) won’t allow a n individual to graduate because of one sin then ALL sins should exclude one from being able to graduate. I don’t believe pre-marital sex in Gods eyes is any worse than gossip. In the gospal it was Jesus who defended the alulteress (sp?) and chastised the “priests” of the day. Did Jesus tell the woman “you are a bad person and don’t deserve any good thing in life”? No he simply said “Go and sin no more”. His words for the pharasees were far more scalding. In my opinion take the que from Jesus in this case. Deal with the sins but treat the situation for what it is, a poor choice that can still be a gift from God, because more good and love can come from that child than all the gossip that we all know goes on in our churches and schools today.
 
The school was wrong. Being pregnant out of wedlock, sinful and scandalous as it is, does not nullify the merits of her academic accomplishments, which is signified by graduation. By barring her from taking part, the school is saying the did not accomplish her academic requirements.

This is assuming, of course, that such a rule against extramarital pregnancies does not exist in the books. If such a rule were present when she enrolled, and then violated that rule, then she bears responsibility for being barred, if that is the stipulated penalty.

All in all, she should have been allowed to graduate.

Of course, the next destination (if she had not already done so) is the confessional.
 
Inappropriate sex isn’t the only sin, or the most serious sin that high schoolers participate in. This girl got caught and they decided to make an example out of her. But what about all the other serious offenses that the school knows about? The underage drinking, the drinking and driving, the sex without getting pregnant, etc, etc. Everyone at the school sins, why choose this ONE as the ONE to make an example of? And not “punishing” the father? What is that about? It takes two to tango.

This sort of thing burns me up.

cheddar
 
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cheddarsox:
Inappropriate sex isn’t the only sin, or the most serious sin that high schoolers participate in. This girl got caught and they decided to make an example out of her. But what about all the other serious offenses that the school knows about? The underage drinking, the drinking and driving, the sex without getting pregnant, etc, etc. Everyone at the school sins, why choose this ONE as the ONE to make an example of? And not “punishing” the father? What is that about? It takes two to tango.

This sort of thing burns me up.

cheddar
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How true is this. There are also teenager girls who have had abortions and the boys who knew about it and even encouraged it.(both public and Catholic schools) then go back to their school lives, while the kids that choosed life (yes they sinned too BUT,) are punished. It is a double edge sword but I personally would not let my daughter or son for that matter flaunt their “upcoming event” but I would let them know I am pleased that they choosed life. It sickens me when I know of someone who had an abortion as a teen, then uses BC for the next ten years with different lovers to finally in her late 20’s get married in Virginal White in a full Catholic Wedding. IMO, This is a bigger sin then any teen who gives birth.
 
From what I have read about this incident, the girl WAS allowed to receive her diploma. The school just did not want her to attend classes at the facility in her condition, nor walk across the stage during the ceremony. The school considered her a high risk, and were not equipped for providing appropriate accommodations for a pregnant teen.

For example, the school did not have elevators. The girl had also missed classes due to morning sickness etc. The school felt it would be in the best interest of everyone for her to finish out the school year in the comfort of her own home. She was NOT kicked out, nor denied her diploma.

The girl had also recently injured her ACL and was on crutches. The last thing the school wanted for her to do was fall at school, and then have something terrible happen to the baby. In a sense, the school was covering their behinds.

The school has had other pregnant girls graduate. Why then was this girl being singled out? I don’t think it was purely based on her pregnancy, but perhaps for reasons the media didn’t want to share with us.

Jennie
 
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Jennie:
From what I have read about this incident, the girl WAS allowed to receive her diploma. The school just did not want her to attend classes at the facility in her condition, nor walk across the stage during the ceremony. The school considered her a high risk, and were not equipped for providing appropriate accommodations for a pregnant teen.
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Her doctor informed the school she was perfectly capable of walking up the three steps to the stage. The school decided their medical judgement was better than her doctors.
 
I found this definition for scandal as I have heard many priests and educated church officials refer to this word in examples. I wanted to share with the board as I remember a priest telling me, in an example of a gay couple coming to church, that no questions were asked of private lives, it was up to our own evaluation of conscious as to whether we should receive the Eucharist or not but when it is publicized then it becomes scandal and needs to be addressed. I think this situation is a good example of that. If a message is sent that it’s okay to have sex out of wedlock and that anything goes and then no one would take the Church “Christ” serious. So, therefore, when it becomes blatant it must be handled.

My guess is that until a paternity test were given it isn’t necessarily true that he was the father and could be withheld from graduation for a wrong he didn’t commit. These are consequences that need to be made examples of… if he were truly the father then maybe he should have withdrawn himself to accept his part of this with her???

Prevention of Scandal Within Church

“Scandal” is any behavior/acts/words that may negatively affect another human being’s journey to the Ultimate Goal - God. We may classify this into three distinct categories:

(a) Scandal that drives the faithful away from God;
(b) Scandal which may neutralize certain Church teachings by association with scandalous practice/teaching/example; and
(c) Scandal resulting from different levels of spiritual advancement amongst the faithful.

Personally… I think she should have been kept from graduation… but receive her diploma… the Church cannot condone blatant lacks of self-control… it’s like a child testing the parent and discipline should be taken. The father should have stayed with her and not participated and shown his responsiblity in this.

In my High School we had the same thing happen… 1982… and she was not authorized to graduate with us either… she survived… others picketed. Point was made.
 
I agree that she should have been given her diploma outside of the graduation ceremony. The scandal? Well, I remember a time when it was a scandal for an obviously pregnant girl to attend PUBLIC school. Sure, it takes two. But that the girl is so obviously pregnant says something. It isn’t obvious when the boy is involved. Maybe this is discrimination, but a statement does need to be made.

The girl should have taken this reprimand. The church is against out of wedlock pregnancy, period. This behaviour should NOT be rewarded. If it was known, for a fact, who the boy was that “helped” her get pregnant, then, yes, he should have been barred from the ceremony as well. And, perhaps, barred from getting their diploma UNTIL they had been to confession and done some kind of penance.
 
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junebug:
I found this definition for scandal as I have heard many priests and educated church officials refer to this word in examples. I wanted to share with the board as I remember a priest telling me, in an example of a gay couple coming to church, that no questions were asked of private lives, it was up to our own evaluation of conscious as to whether we should receive the Eucharist or not but when it is publicized then it becomes scandal and needs to be addressed. I think this situation is a good example of that. If a message is sent that it’s okay to have sex out of wedlock and that anything goes and then no one would take the Church “Christ” serious. So, therefore, when it becomes blatant it must be handled.
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I’m glad you raised the issue of scandal here, junebug. I think that it certainly pertains to the situation. An obviously pregnant teenage girl graduating from a Catholic high school in a formal ceremony is most definitely scandalous. On those grounds I’d have to say I agree with the school’s decision.
 
My school has a similar “unofficial” rule that if you are pregnant, you can’t graduate; but at the same time they teach us about contraception (yes, in a “Catholic” school).

But I’d like to ask those who think that the school was right in prohibiting the girl from graduating publically if they would rather her commit the sin of abortion and keep it a total secret (thus not causing scandal)?
 
*pro-life_teen*:
But I’d like to ask those who think that the school was right in prohibiting the girl from graduating publically if they would rather her commit the sin of abortion and keep it a total secret (thus not causing scandal)?
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Of course not, pro. That’s an easy one. Nevertheless, there was a time when if a girl got pregnant out of wedlock she would remove herself (or be removed) to a remote location where she would be less likely to influence the innocent. While times have changed and we’ve gotten away from this practice, I don’t think it is entirely such a bad idea. While nowadays we may not “ship her off” to the country to have the child, I think something needs to be done so that she’s not so much in the public eye.
 
*pro-life_teen*:
My school has a similar “unofficial” rule that if you are pregnant, you can’t graduate; but at the same time they teach us about contraception (yes, in a “Catholic” school).

But I’d like to ask those who think that the school was right in prohibiting the girl from graduating publically if they would rather her commit the sin of abortion and keep it a total secret (thus not causing scandal)?
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Their rule as to wither or not one may attend extracurricular activities, such as a graduation ceremony, is in print, and more likely than not, both she and her parents would have had to sign off that they had read the student handbook when she was enrolled, or at the start of each school year.

From their handbook.
saintjudeschool.com/academics.aspx

Student Pregnancy

If a female student becomes pregnant, the Guidance Department and Administration must be notified immediately. The student will be required to bring a doctor’s note indicating her time of delivery. Medical safety, psychological wellbeing, and social issues will be taken into consideration when deciding how long a student will attend classes or extracurricular activities, if/when she needs to begin home schooling, and when she may return to school after the delivery of her child. Both the female student and the father of the child (if he attends St. Jude Educational Institute) and their parents/guardians will meet with the Principal, and Guidance Counselor to determine the need for counseling and special support.
 
It is not a good idea to punish a girl for being pregnant.

That sends the message to teens that they should not get caught being pregnant. It is doubtful it will reduce promiscuity to throw stones at the teenage pregnant girl.

Same promiscuity, less pregnancy – how can that happen? Add two and two together and you get the answer: more abortions!

How many of that girl’s classmates had an abortion, therefore did not cause “scandal” and were able to look all prissy and pretty for the ceremony? Some of them probably looked askance at the “tramp” who was so vulgar as to be pregnant.

Alan
 
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AlanFromWichita:
It is not a good idea to punish a girl for being pregnant.

That sends the message to teens that they should not get caught being pregnant. It is doubtful it will reduce promiscuity to throw stones at the teenage pregnant girl.

Same promiscuity, less pregnancy – how can that happen? Add two and two together and you get the answer: more abortions!

How many of that girl’s classmates had an abortion, therefore did not cause “scandal” and were able to look all prissy and pretty for the ceremony? Some of them probably looked askance at the “tramp” who was so vulgar as to be pregnant.

Alan
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Sorry, but it’s a fallacious argument. You don’t refuse to reprimand someone for doing wrong simply because someone may do a greater wrong out of fear of being caught. That’s what the Carter administration did, and look how well that worked.
 
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Trelow:
Sorry, but it’s a fallacious argument. You don’t refuse to reprimand someone for doing wrong simply because someone may do a greater wrong out of fear of being caught. That’s what the Carter administration did, and look how well that worked.
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OK, if you find a way to actually get the message of chastity into young people, then more power to you. Meanwhile, a good percentage of Catholic high school students are promiscuous, as has been well corroborated on this forum. This is what we are given as a starting place, like it or not.

Your critique of my argument presupposed you are punishing the girl for getting pregnant, and/or for doing what leads to getting pregnant. You are not. You are punishing her for getting “caught” pregnant. Once a girl is pregnant, the odds she will have an abortion is undoubtedly increased if she knows that she will be penalized academically and socially compared to her friends who had abortions.

Now if you can figure out a way to detect every time teens engage in sexual behavior and punish them for that, then maybe I could at least theoretically (if not practically) get on board with you.

Are there any young people out there who can speak to this? Here is what I want to know from them. First, if a school establishes that it will publicly exclude pregnant women from activities such as graduation (for moral reasons, not health reasons) will that reduce the amount of sex that takes place? Will it reduce the number of pregnancies? Will it increase the chance that any given pregnancy will end in abortion?

By their fruits shall ye know them. If a plan sounds theologically correct, but results in more abortions without any improvement in other areas to make up for it (except population reduction 😃 ) then how is it doing God’s work to implement that plan?

Oh, there is one other thing it does. It teaches those young women that if they fall into sin then Catholics in authority will be right there to tell her how evil she is. Like she doesn’t already know she’s pregnant.

Another thing, is no male EVER ought to judge ANY FEMALE for getting pregnant out of wedlock, unless that male is her legal guardian and has that responsibility, and even then I’m not sure it’s advantageous. Men are immune to the punishment that girls can receive, unless they voluntarily admit to their own responsibility.

That’s one of the reason I teach my daughters that whether it seem fair or not, the onus is on them to be the final barrier against a boy who is trying to go too far. She cannot buy his arguments, because he has essentially nothing to lose and much to gain from her giving in. She will pay the price, while he can do anything from marry her to disappear off the earth.

If you are going to punish the pregnant girl, and not be encouraging abortion, then you have to give every student a medical exam and if punish any of them who have had sex. That is, if you are to be consistent in your “no nonsense” views of judging sinful behavior and punishing it.

Alan
 
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