Pregnant Teenager

[mamacita]

Cecilia - here’s my take on this.

Yes, your daughter still needs your home and financial support. That is without question…and it is YOUR right as her parents to lay down the “law” in the house: Daughter, YOU get a part time job, YOU provide the diapers and the clothes. YOU can get by with thrift store/second hand clothing just fine, YOU will have to pay for sitters if Dad and I cannot or do not want to babysit, YOU will be the one waking up to care for the infant and staying up at night when Baby is ill, etc. You can tell her she will be kicked out of the home if she sneaks out, drinks, does drugs, etc. You can suggest breastfeeding (because it’s free) and cloth diapering (because it’s cheaper). You can encourage her to start working now and putting money aside for the baby.

IMHO, no, she does not need to be a “part” of the decision making. She needs to be the *only *one who makes the decision. You are there for guidance, direction, reassurance and support. Not to tell her what to do or even pressure her one way or the other, because pressure can drive a very hard wedge between the two of you. Do that, and I can almost guarantee that she WILL one day resent you and your husband for making her do this against her will. This is her baby. Her very first child…this will probably be the toughest decision of her life. A decision she will have to live with forever.

Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t together seek guidance. Or that you can’t look into adoption with her - checking out different agencies, families, legalities, etc. But it should not be something you are pressuring her to do if her heart really does not want to do this.

Yes - you can tell her this. But don’t be biased. Keeping the baby will also be giving your own family quite a great blessing, as well!

You should sit down with her and tell her what life will be like if she keeps the baby as well. She needs to understand what raising a child will entail, and where you and your husband will draw the line. Will you help purchase things your grandchild will need? Will you be a free babysitting service to her?

But leave the final decision to her. Don’t pressure her or belittle her decision…(not that you will - but for an example Can you imagine if she tells you she wants to keep her baby and she hears, day in and day out, “You’re making a bad decision.” “You’ll never be able to finish school.” “You’re going to regret this.” “This is going to be a huge burden on your father and I.” “What are YOU going to do with a baby?” etc… How do you think she’ll end feeling? I would feel pretty rotten, and think that my decision to keep my child was stupid and worthless. And that my parents didn’t give a hoot about their grandchild. That would probably hurt the worst.

Likewise, if she is determined to give the child up for adoption, your support should also be there. After meeting your grandchild, your feelings may do a flip flop on you and you may find that you really want her to keep this baby, after all. If she wants to give the baby up, how awful if one’s parents try to reverse that hard, emotional decision. You know?

Either way - whatever she chooses - in the end, please let the choice be hers, and then support her in that.

But what if her decision is to adopt the baby out? Then what happens if she falls into a big depression and begins to resent you, pulls away from the family and just mentally and emotionally falls apart - and you have to lose your job in order to take care of your daughter?

Point being - don’t base this on what ifs. ANYTHING can happen as a result of either decision. Pray about this, help her, give her your support, and give the rest of it to God.

**Great advice, Sancta!!! **

 

[Linnyo]

Even though it would hurt me, I would give it up for adoption. For the baby’s sake. We can’t be selfish to think about, me me me me and me. “I am going to be so sad for the rest of my life if I give this baby up for adoption…”

It’s not about I, but about the future of this baby. Will the baby be better off with a 15 year old mother or with a couple who are prepared and willing to love and care for a child?

It is a hard thing to deal with. I have not been in something like this personally, however, I think that is what I would definitely do even if it hurts me but its not about me or anyone else at this time. It is about the baby.

I don’t think adoption is always the best solution. I never thought I would say this because I was adopted as a tiny baby and have been brought up by wonderful loving parents. My parents are as good as parents get. But amongst my ‘core beliefs’ is the knowledge that I was ditched. I know my birth mother did what she believed to be best. I know it was probably a great act of love on her part. But I also have this knowledge that I could be ditched by anyoneat any time. I have the worst fear of abandonment and I cannot do anything about it…not a thing. I have had times where I have genuinley believed that it was my fault. I have had very severe depression for most of my adult life andf although being adopted wasn’t the main cause, it has had a major effect on how I see myself. I am not worthy to be accepted unconditionally.

 

[Katie1723]

To the OP, this is something you need to consider. In PA, when a girl becomes pregnant, she is considered an emancipated minor and doesn’t " need " your permission in regards to keeping or not keeping her baby. In addition to the obvious questions, I would seek legal help as to how much “say” you have over your daughters decision. Another thing, she neds to seek prenatal care early. And in that regard also, you will need her permission when speaking to someone about her medical care. Pregnancy sure does change things.

Kathy

 

[rayne89]

I don’t think adoption is always the best solution. I never thought I would say this because I was adopted as a tiny baby and have been brought up by wonderful loving parents. My parents are as good as parents get. But amongst my ‘core beliefs’ is the knowledge that I was ditched. I know my birth mother did what she believed to be best. I know it was probably a great act of love on her part. But I also have this knowledge that I could be ditched by anyoneat any time. I have the worst fear of abandonment and I cannot do anything about it…not a thing. I have had times where I have genuinley believed that it was my fault. I have had very severe depression for most of my adult life andf although being adopted wasn’t the main cause, it has had a major effect on how I see myself. I am not worthy to be accepted unconditionally.

Oh Linnyo, this makes me so sad. I didn’t find out I was adopted until I was almost 19 and while that sounds horrible I think in the long run it was really the best thing. I was old enough to understand that adoption was not a rejection by my bio-mother but a gift. I didn’t have to go through as a child “why did my mom give me away?”

Nobody knew it at the time of the adoption but I turned out to be one sick baby. I am in the first generation of babies to survive the kind of heart defects that I have because my adoptive parents had the financial means and experience to get me the best medical care out there. I truly don’t think I would lived otherwise.

Maybe it would help to try to realize everything is God’s will. You were not “ditched”, Your Father had a plan and these people that raised you were meant to be your parents because you are loved so much by Him, not because you are not of worthy acceptance. These are the parents He wanted for you, you bio-mom was just part of His plan.

Let me tell you my teenage years were horrible, my sister died, my adoptive mom became mentally ill -but it made me strong, it made me a fighter, it made me resilient, it taught me compassion. What God’s reasons were for taking my sister I can never understand -but I say it often, it’s His plan not mine. I can only seek to do His will as best as I understand it.

I pray you find peace in your heart. Every human being on this earth will disappoint us at one time or another -only God never fails us, never leaves us. God Bless.

 

[snowfly]

Even though it would hurt me, I would give it up for adoption. For the baby’s sake. We can’t be selfish to think about, me me me me and me. "I

We can take that both ways, some people see giving the baby away so as not to be selfish, when in truth they are only thinking about me me me, and not wanting the burden of bringing up a child.

I can only speak for what I would do, and giving my own flesh and blood away would not be an option.

I’ve heard some people say that Mary was only about 16 when she was carrying Jesus, imagine Mary giving away Jesus, and are our conditions worse than hers, with not even a decent place for the babe to lay it’s head.

 

[CatholicSam]

i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc173/jmjrayne/baby1.jpg

This is my Godchild, a precious child of God even if the circumstances were/are hard. You will get through this.

She’s beautiful! :heaven:

 

[mamacita]

We can take that both ways, some people see giving the baby away so as not to be selfish, when in truth they are only thinking about me me me, and not wanting the burden of bringing up a child.

I can only speak for what I would do, and giving my own flesh and blood away would not be an option.

I’ve heard some people say that Mary was only about 16 when she was carrying Jesus, imagine Mary giving away Jesus, and are our conditions worse than hers, with not even a decent place for the babe to lay it’s head.

**I agree. How is keeping your child selfish when you will have to sacrifice everything and anything on your part to provide for that child? How is that selfish on a single mother’s part?? Thanks Snowfly for stating this for me! **

 

[paradoxy]

I still think it should primarily be her decision, b/c she is the one who will endure the consequences her entire life. You would probably have to make plenty of sacrifices for a few years, but she would have to give up her own baby for life, or have him/her as her child for life.

God bless you either way. Praying for your family.

 

[Goth_Catholic]

We can take that both ways, some people see giving the baby away so as not to be selfish, when in truth they are only thinking about me me me, and not wanting the burden of bringing up a child.

I can only speak for what I would do, and giving my own flesh and blood away would not be an option.

I’ve heard some people say that Mary was only about 16 when she was carrying Jesus, imagine Mary giving away Jesus, and are our conditions worse than hers, with not even a decent place for the babe to lay it’s head.

Mary was actually more like 14 when she had Jesus, 13 when she became pregnant.

 

[smswife]

I just wanted to comment on the statutory rape concern.

How old is the father?

If he is an adult (18 or older), I think you should press charges.

I don’t know if it’s still true, but when teen pregnancy was at it’s worst in the US, the majority of the fathers were adults. It was an epidemic of unprosecuted statutory rape.

If more men expected to be prosecuted in these types of cases, there would be far fewer girls like your daughter being victimized by them.

Yes, your daughter is also a victim. At 15, she does NOT have the maturity to make a valid consent for sex. That’s what the law means.

Some young man encouraged her to sneak out of the safety of her parents home at night so he could take advantage of her immaturity. Hopefully a baby is the only thing he gave her.

Your daughter may be horrified by the idea, but pressing charges may help protect some other young girl from him.

 

[Goth_Catholic]

I just wanted to comment on the statutory rape concern.

How old is the father?

If he is an adult (18 or older), I think you should press charges.

I don’t know if it’s still true, but when teen pregnancy was at it’s worst in the US, the majority of the fathers were adults. It was an epidemic of unprosecuted statutory rape.

If more men expected to be prosecuted in these types of cases, there would be far fewer girls like your daughter being victimized by them.

Yes, your daughter is also a victim. At 15, she does NOT have the maturity to make a valid consent for sex. That’s what the law means.

Some young man encouraged her to sneak out of the safety of her parents home at night so he could take advantage of her immaturity. Hopefully a baby is the only thing he gave her.

Your daughter may be horrified by the idea, but pressing charges may help protect some other young girl from him.

And if the father is 18 or 19 and made a stupid mistake he wants to take responsablity for? You have to give men a little more credit, they don’t just turn 18 and suddenly they deside to ethier vicimize or not to victimize younger girls. You act as though you know so much about the mindset of this young man, in reality you do not. You look at his age and her age and expect that he knows better. This is exactly why the law is so stupid. A 17 year old could have sex with a 12 year old and not be charged with statitory rape. Yet an 18 year old with a 15 year old girlfriend gets slapped with a sex offender statis.

 

[maria29]

As someone who was adopted I feel that my birthmother did what was best at the time and age she was. I have never for a day felt that I was unloved, or unwanted because I know she made a supreme sacrifice to give me the best possible chance I could have with a 2 parent family.

Instead of feeling unwanted or unloved, it fills me with an extreme and profound understanding of how much she did love me.

I don’t think pressing charges against the father (unless he actually raped her) is a good idea. So the father is put away in jail, never sees his child, no financial obligations to it, and now the child knows he/she is a product of rape. How do you think that will affect a child emotionally? There will always be a part of the child that “hates” the father for what he did .

Do you know how old the boyfriend is? Or anything about him at all? I will say that in some states the age of consent is 14 (not that I agree) but thus leaving charges of rape not an option.

Please, please, please sit down with the boy and his family as well. Talk with them, see what they think too. Explain what you are willing to do as parents and they should do the same. I will say too, that this is also her boyfriends child so make sure he is involved in the whole adoption question.

 

[Mimi]

Even though it would hurt me, I would give it up for adoption. For the baby’s sake. We can’t be selfish to think about, me me me me and me. “I am going to be so sad for the rest of my life if I give this baby up for adoption…”

It’s not about I, but about the future of this baby. Will the baby be better off with a 15 year old mother or with a couple who are prepared and willing to love and care for a child?

It is a hard thing to deal with. I have not been in something like this personally, however, I think that is what I would definitely do even if it hurts me but its not about me or anyone else at this time. It is about the baby.

Cecilia,
This is a hard situation, emotional for all involved. You likely had other plans for your dd, and now here she is, a mother herself, and so young. There has been so much good advice given here already.

All I can offer is to really pray about this as a family, get good counseling, pray, pray, pray some more, especially the rosary!

I’m probably older than you are right now, but at 19, I was in my 2nd yr of college, my bf had just broken up with me; it was totally unexpected. I guess I wanted to get back at him & went out with someone else who looked a bit like him; I was careless (& somewhat depressed) I ended up giving the baby up for adoption even though most everyone else told me I should have an abortion (I almost did - was even at the abortuary for an exam, but they thought I was too far along; they would’ve done it anyway, but at the nearby hospital).

Giving up my little boy was the hardest thing I’d ever done. This was 32 yrs ago. It was v hard on my family, too (Catholic; my mom a convert). We dedicated him to God. It was a closed adoption. My bf came back to me before I delivered! We’ve been married 27 yrs & since then my birthson searched for & found me, and we’ve been reunited 4 yrs, 4 months! His adoptive mom just passed away almost 2 wks ago. He had a great life, & I thank God that he picked the right family for him. My dh is a generous man; we have 3 sons together, & he even made room for my b-son with whom I am grateful to have a close & lasting relationship.

I think open adoption is probably the best option if you are going to go that route. It is very good for the adoptee to know his birthmom, and that she does care for him. Who knows how your dd might feel at 18, when her baby is 3 & she can’t find childcare, when she needs to attend class, go out with her g’friends or whatever. I think I may have resented my birthson if I had decided to keep him. I probably would not have gotten my degree, either.

My prayers are with you. I’ll check back & see how the situation develops.

Mimi

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

And if the father is 18 or 19 and made a stupid mistake he wants to take responsablity for? You have to give men a little more credit, they don’t just turn 18 and suddenly they deside to ethier vicimize or not to victimize younger girls. You act as though you know so much about the mindset of this young man, in reality you do not. You look at his age and her age and expect that he knows better. This is exactly why the law is so stupid. A 17 year old could have sex with a 12 year old and not be charged with statitory rape. Yet an 18 year old with a 15 year old girlfriend gets slapped with a sex offender statis.

I have to agree here. You and your daughter can discuss whether what the situation was but from hearing she was “horrified” to hear he could be charged with stat rape it sounds like she doesn’t feel like he deserves that. You can still evaluate the situation, and if it does turn out to be a case of an older man purposely taking advantage of an innocent girl, then yes he should be reported, but it does drive me nuts how is many states 15 yr olds aren’t old enough to consent for sex but are old enough to decide on abortion (anyways, sorry for the tangent). Also, no offense to men, but if maturity is what is in question, there are plenty of 15 yr old girls out there that are much more mature than 18 yr old guys. It could be a mistake of weakness of flesh on both parts.
I do agree with the pp that suggests to find out what the father of the child wants if he is still in the picture. It is a possibility that he or his family want to have custody or adopt the child, assuming your daughter decides not to raise the child. I have heard of cases where this has happened.

I don’t know how mature your daughter is and how well she knows the consequences, and I think that is a major factor in how involved you need to be in the decision itself (I do think you should be very involved in the decision making process, regardless). I agree with others that you should let her know you will support her either way, but supporting her does not mean you should not present the possible consequences of either option, nor does it mean you need to take on any of the responsibilities that result from her decision. She has to be responsible for whatever consequences her decision has and I think it is important for you to point out the areas where you will probably not be able to help, so she does not assume you will be there, for example, for child care, etc. When I was in 10th grade a girl in my class became pregnant. It was a pretty sad situation, her mom was our English teacher. I don’t know about your daughter’s school, but in my school you cannot attend school pregnant so the girl homeschooled the rest of high school. She kept her son, but it hasn’t been an easy road for her. Nevertheless, the boy has brought great joy to the family. Like others mentioned, God makes something good out of a bad situation. This child may bring joy to your family or to a couple anxiously waiting to adopt. Either was he/she is a beautiful gift from God.

Again, the maturity of your daughter is what a lot of this depends on. I know another couple that became pregnant unwed and kept the baby and it has been very difficult on the preg girl’s mom. The girl was not mature enough and does stuff like waking up the mom all the time (who needs to work the next day) to give her a crying baby and saying she can’t deal with the baby. The father of the baby is just as bad and they married and live with the girls family. The grandparents of the baby are pretty much taking care of all three. The grandparents are in love with the baby, I just pray the parents mature in time to be better parents for the baby.

Going back to the OP, no, deciding on adoption is not a sin. I do agree with the idea of going to Catholic counseling and talking with a good orthodox priest.
Pray that God let you and your daughter know what His will is and give you the strength to carry it out, regardless of what it is. You and your family are in my prayers.

 

[rush176]

We can take that both ways, some people see giving the baby away so as not to be selfish, when in truth they are only thinking about me me me, and not wanting the burden of bringing up a child.

I can only speak for what I would do, and giving my own flesh and blood away would not be an option.

I have a completely different take on this. I think if you keep the baby its more of a selfish “me me me” decision and adoption is much more caring of the baby’s needs. Those that say it should be the 15 year olds decision are nuts. Obviously this 15 year old does not have a good track record making important decisions or else she wouldn’t be pregnant. The best situation for a child is to have a father and a mother who are adults, financially responsible and in a stable marriage. I know others raise children successfully in other situations but if we could pick the one family situation where the child has the best chance we should all pick the married couple. Thats how God designed the family to be. Look at the holy Family for their example. Mary might have been young but God selected a girl who was betrothed to a good man to raise Jesus. Not a teenage mother living with her parents and no prospects of marriage.

My brothers daughter got pregnant when she was 16 and she decided to keep and raise the baby. Unfortunately my brother and his wife never made her take responsibility for the upbringing of the child. Now she is still living at home at age 25 and has no plans to move out. Plus she has no prospects for a husband because of her immature personality…

Give the child up for adoption. There are thousands of great couples who would give anything for a baby. One of them would provide a great home for your grandchild. Will it be tough yes, but life is that way and we can’t always protect our kids from it especially when they make a big mistake.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I’m a little curious – while I’ve really appreciated everybody’s comments, the majority of posts seem to concur with this one, particularly in that it is her baby so the choice ultimately should be hers (my daughter’s, that is|). I can’t agree with this completely when it does not just affect her. At age 15, she still needs our home and our financial support - my husband and I have been struggling to make ends meet as it is, so I have to keep working, and my daughter needs to finish school. I agree she needs to be a part of the decision making, and I want to see her take responsibility for the choice she made that got her into this position in the first place. But I can’t have her make a decision, then drop the ball on her responsibility, because we simply cannot afford to pick it up for her at the cost of me losing my job to take care of a baby. So I need to see her being realistic, which is why I see it as more of a family decision, not just hers and her boyfriend’s. I’m not totally against her keeping the baby, but I think she needs to consider all options, and to consider adoption as a means of giving a great gift to both her baby and another family.

My :twocents: as somebody who has been there as the grandmother-

I think you are right on target, and this post shows it.

This affects the whole family, not just your daughter. And your daughter, by somehow getting pregnant despite your “no date” prohibition, does not show the maturity needed to make this decision alone.

Your family needs Catholic Charities or whatever Catholic counseling services in your area are offered for crisis pregnancies (some go by the name Birthright), starting with your daughter and you. Your daughter IS the one who is pregnant, but YOU are the one who is going to bear the responsibility for this child if your family decides against adoption. It is all very well for the father-to-be and your husband to voice their opinions, but really and truly, it’s going to probably come down to your daughter and you who will bear the brunt of the repsonsibility.

Also, until you have your ducks in a row on this, do NOT involve courts, department of human services, etc. If your daughter and you make the decision to keep the baby, there will be plenty of time for that.

BTW- Orphanages in this country are not full of babies. Babies tend to be a “hot commodity”, esp. a healthy baby of any race. There is some choice which set of parents WILL get the baby, and they compete, sometimes heavily. And not every state allows for so-called “open” adoption. Illinois does not have open adoption, and for very good reasons. There is a lot to consider in an open adoption, esp. from the perspective of the adoptive parents. Some birthmothers, particularly young ones, see their children as they grow and try to assert themselves as “the” mom. It can cause a lot of hurt feelings, even to the point of adoptive parents moving to another part of the country to get away from the birth family.

PM me if you feel the need. As I said, I’ve been there.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

We can take that both ways, some people see giving the baby away so as not to be selfish, when in truth they are only thinking about me me me, and not wanting the burden of bringing up a child.

I can only speak for what I would do, and giving my own flesh and blood away would not be an option.

I’ve heard some people say that Mary was only about 16 when she was carrying Jesus, imagine Mary giving away Jesus, and are our conditions worse than hers, with not even a decent place for the babe to lay it’s head.

I’m sorry, but the illogic of this defies description.

We are not talking about Judea at the dawn of the Common Era (Anno Domini). At that time, a girl was a woman at 12. If she wasn’t already married, her parents were out negotiating a betrothal. The young woman was already capable in household arts, not just cooking and cleaning, but weaving cloth, sewing, food preservation, and some medical nursing. Jewish men studied Torah and Tlamund, but Jewish women had to know the intricate ins and outs of kashrut (kosher kitchen and dietary laws) to the point where they knew how to consecrate their own kitchen and sleeping area- and the house was usually just one big room. People lived into their 40s. Those who made beyond age 45 were considered not just old, but somehow righteous enough to be allowed by God to live that long.

Mary was more than ready to be a mother, even at 13. And St. Joseph was along for the ride to Bethlehem. The Blessed Mother and St. Joseph did not expect St. Anne and St. Joachim to raise the baby while they trotted off to high shcool every morning.

We are talking about a 15 year old in the 21st century in the United States, one that didn’t obey her parents in the first place. If this child was placed back into 1st century Judea, she’d probably already be married; if not, she would stand a chance of being stoned to death, as that is what Jewish law required.

This **girl **needs to be presented with clear-thought ideas that have merit and logic, not sentamentality.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

**I agree. How is keeping your child selfish when you will have to sacrifice everything and anything on your part to provide for that child? How is that selfish on a single mother’s part?? Thanks Snowfly for stating this for me! **

Keeping the child IS selfish IF any of the following conditions occur:

• The mother is too young and too immature to take care of the child, even though she makes the promise to do so. Just because the kid says she will doesn’t mean she will follow through. And no matter what the grandmother might say about “It’s your problem” it’s very hard to watch your grandchild suffer through out-and-out neglect. It is Grandma who will have to get up in this circumstance. And it is Grandma, who if she does not secure the best interest of the child NOW, will be raising the child, possibly to bond with it and then see it go away with Mommy when Mommy gets older.
• There will be a real financial hardship, which seems to be the case here.

For my part, Mom and Daughter need good counseling, then a good attorny either way (adoption or child support).

 

[dlltoms]

As a mother, grandmother and great grandmother. One that was with child at the age of 16 I married the father of our son. As it was our son was born at 7 months. And on April fools day he was due on the 1st of June. Easter Sunday was April 14th that year that was the first time I had my son in my arms for he was kept behind the window and the nurses took care of him. Abortion was never in the question and neither was adoption. I had one of those go to neveda weddings the only people there were our parents both sets the justice of the peace and his wife. It was a quarter to 12 midnight on October 12th, 1962. I married someone that thinks marriage is just names on a piece of paper. And if it were not for me and my children he would be a millionair by now. that is why I am no longer married to him. I spent years in that marriage and got blamed for everything that went wrong in his life. I come from a set of parents that showed me more love and peace that I could ever imagine. He came from a family that was very judgemental. My parents allowed me to make my own desisions and yes they were good ones. I have no regrets for I would do the same I stayed faithful to my marriage vows and it is something I would not do. When my father passed away I was there 2 days before when he took my mommas hand in his and looked into her eyes and made the statement that he never cheated on her. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever been privlidged to be a part of. My dad was a quiet and gentle man he loved the image of a nursing mother for he thought of my momma a jewel. The love was always presented as love not hate. My dad was the head of the house yet in a way that when he spoke you took note. The thanksgiving we celebrated the year I was married we were all home and after dinner we dauthers got up and did the dishes my mom presented my dad with a cup of coffee they way he liked it lots of cream and some sweetner. I will never forget what he said all the son’s in law asked how he rated and the only thing he said was boys you gather bees with honey not vinigar none of them listened. My children live here with me and though they have their own families and My premee son is the grandfather of 4 and his sons are young fathers too. I feel very proud of my son for one day not long ago he said mom I always wanted to be a dad and he is a good one. I kept baby books for them all and their baptizems are recorded in them I gave my sons his for his 44th birthday. He stayed up all night reading it and all he said was thanks mom. It was enough.

 

[snowfly]

I’m sorry, but the illogic of this defies description.

I resent your rudeness.

Mary was more than ready to be a mother, even at 13. And St. Joseph was along for the ride to Bethlehem. The Blessed Mother and St. Joseph did not expect St. Anne and St. Joachim to raise the baby while they trotted off to high shcool every morning.

How do you know Mary was more than ready to be a mother, there are plenty of women out there that don’t feel ready.
It’s different over her, my sister in law had a baby at 15, her educators called to the house on a one on one basis so she would not get behind in her studies, it can be done.

We are talking about a 15 year old in the 21st century in the United States, one that didn’t obey her parents in the first place. If this child was placed back into 1st century Judea, she’d probably already be married; if not, she would stand a chance of being stoned to death, as that is what Jewish law required.

Yes the USA, I hardly think it’s a starving nation when it’s supposed to be the most advanced on the planet, and it can’t feed and take care of a baby ?

This **girl **needs to be presented with clear-thought ideas that have merit and logic, not sentamentality.

I’m answering as to what I would do, and giving my flesh and blood away would not be an option for me, consider the lilies of the field.

I don’t buy your logic argument either, people have got raised before on a shoestring budget, I’m an example of it coming from a family of 14.

Call it sentimentality if you like, I prefer to think of it as me having enough love in my heart to say to the baby “we didn’t anticipate your arrival, but now your here we’ll take care of you”

You obviously feel different, how heard-hearted and selfish we’ve become, and we make a bee line to the Church every Sunday…unbelievable.

And anyway Ive given my opinion to the lady in question, and it involves the whole family, so I’ll not answer your replies anymore out of respect for this lady.

And not wanting to start an argument over something which isn’t personal to me, but which we were asked an opinion on.