Priest gave friend OK to receive communion without annulment. What should I do?

[ksrmarsh1]

My divorced catholic friend is remarried but not in the church. She claims our parish priest told her that since she goes to church every sunday and is raising her children catholic that it was OK for her to receive communion without going through an annulment. I recognize that this is not what the church teaches. Should I bring this up with the priest or the bishop, or just let it go?

 

[Bookcat]

Catechism:

1650 Today there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil divorce and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ - "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery"160 the Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God’s law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence.

1651 Toward Christians who live in this situation, and who often keep the faith and desire to bring up their children in a Christian manner, priests and the whole community must manifest an attentive solicitude, so that they do not consider themselves separated from the Church, in whose life they can and must participate as baptized persons:

They should be encouraged to listen to the Word of God, to attend the Sacrifice of the Mass, to persevere in prayer, to contribute to works of charity and to community efforts for justice, to bring up their children in the Christian faith, to cultivate the spirit and practice of penance and thus implore, day by day, God's grace.161

scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c3a7.htm#V

 

[Elizium23]

It is not your business and I would hope that any sane priest or bishop would refuse to discuss with you the state of someone else’s soul or their eligibility for sacraments.

The best you can do is kindly, politely, make your stance known to her, and explain that it is also the constant teaching of the Church. Do this once and then let the matter lie. You can pray for your friend privately, prayer is absolutely our best defense against any kind of sin.

 

[Servant_of_God]

It is not your business and I would hope that any sane priest or bishop would refuse to discuss with you the state of someone else’s soul or their eligibility for sacraments.

The best you can do is kindly, politely, make your stance known to her, and explain that it is also the constant teaching of the Church. Do this once and then let the matter lie. You can pray for your friend privately, prayer is absolutely our best defense against any kind of sin.

I echo this. It’s not your business. Just worry about your own soul and relationship with Christ. Pray for them, but don’t poke your nose where it doesn’t belong.

 

[Tietjen]

I echo this. It’s not your business. Just worry about your own soul and relationship with Christ. Pray for them, but don’t poke your nose where it doesn’t belong.

I echo the echo… stay out of it. This is between God, your friend, and possibly the priest.

 

[freerf]

These are the most sensible responses i’ve ever read on this forum. I echo, echo, echo the comments above.

 

[LilyM]

Without knowing all the details it is quite possible the priest is correct - perhaps she is only in a ‘brother-sister’ type relationship with her second husband now, for example. In which case she is not sinning in receiving communion.

 

[Phemie]

Unfortunately, that is giving scandal to those who know she is in an invalid marriage and who know what the Church teaches.

 

[mamaslo]

My divorced catholic friend is remarried but not in the church. She claims our parish priest told her that since she goes to church every sunday and is raising her children catholic that it was OK for her to receive communion without going through an annulment. I recognize that this is not what the church teaches. Should I bring this up with the priest or the bishop, or just let it go?

She probably didn’t tell you everything. It is possible. There are ways.

 

[Cristiano]

Unfortunately, that is giving scandal to those who know she is in an invalid marriage and who know what the Church teaches.

You are assuming that it is giving scandal but that might not be true at all. Just because an action might be misunderstood that does not imply that it is automatically scandalous.

 

[raaucoin]

Unfortunately, that is giving scandal to those who know she is in an invalid marriage and who know what the Church teaches.

It is “scandal” if it causes someone else to sin or to misunderstand Church teaching. From the information we have, we don’t know if it is. Just being the topic of gossip and speculation is not scandal. If it were- none of us would be receiving.

 

[Roy5]

Personally, I’ve always thought that the validity of one’s communion is a matter between God and the communicant. I’d let the Lord make that decision.

The entire annulment process has become a scandal in some parts of the church. Have enough patience and persistence (and money) and you can get an annulment with almost certainty in some dioceses. In others that is much less likely. Makes you wonder.

 Why is it that it can sometimes seem more damnng to get a divorce and remarry outside the church than to rob and even murder? The main purpose of the Church may seem to many to control their personal lives. 

 I know rather well one leader in a local parish here that has lived for years with a woman, but because he never remarried after his divorce no one seems to bother him. Why is that? I guess living in sin is preferred in the eyes of the church than getting a divorce and remarrying without the blessing of the church. Isn't there something skewed in all this? 

 But Matt. 7:1 seems to apply, in any case.

 

[ksrmarsh1]

It is not your business and I would hope that any sane priest or bishop would refuse to discuss with you the state of someone else’s soul or their eligibility for sacraments.

The best you can do is kindly, politely, make your stance known to her, and explain that it is also the constant teaching of the Church. Do this once and then let the matter lie. You can pray for your friend privately, prayer is absolutely our best defense against any kind of sin.

Thanks for your feedback. I do realize that it is not my business what my friend discusses with our priest. However, she was asking my opinion and when I told her what I thought, she relayed to me what he told her. She is having trouble deciding whether or not to persue an annulment, and she has spoken with me about this on numerous occasions.

I just didn’t know if I had an obligation to question a priest who may be giving out teaching that is contrary to what I have learned to be church teaching. If he is then should I bring it up to the bishop after speaking with him? I have no intention of bringing up any specifics of my friends situation with the priest or bishop. I wasn’t even going to mention anything else to my friend because I have already explained to her my thoughts. I was just wandering if anyone else has encountered this situation and what is the best way if any to handle it. I do pray for all my friends, family and self. This is just something I recently encountered and didn’t know whether or not I should act.

 

[buffalo]

Respect for the souls of others: scandal
2284 Scandal is an attitude or behavior which leads another to do evil. The person who gives scandal becomes his neighbor’s tempter. He damages virtue and integrity; he may even draw his brother into spiritual death. Scandal is a grave offense if by deed or omission another is deliberately led into a grave offense.
2285 Scandal takes on a particular gravity by reason of the authority of those who cause it or the weakness of those who are scandalized. It prompted our Lord to utter this curse: "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea."86 Scandal is grave when given by those who by nature or office are obliged to teach and educate others. Jesus reproaches the scribes and Pharisees on this account: he likens them to wolves in sheep’s clothing.87
2286 Scandal can be provoked by laws or institutions, by fashion or opinion.
Therefore, they are guilty of scandal who establish laws or social structures leading to the decline of morals and the corruption of religious practice, or to "social conditions that, intentionally or not, make Christian conduct and obedience to the Commandments difficult and practically impossible."88 This is also true of business leaders who make rules encouraging fraud, teachers who provoke their children to anger,89 or manipulators of public opinion who turn it away from moral values.
2287 Anyone who uses the power at his disposal in such a way that it leads others to do wrong becomes guilty of scandal and responsible for the evil that he has directly or indirectly encouraged. "Temptations to sin are sure to come; but woe to him by whom they come!"90

2326 Scandal is a grave offense when by deed or omission it deliberately leads others to sin gravely.

2353 *Fornication *is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Moreover, it is a grave scandal when there is corruption of the young.

 

[Brendan]

Has the person remarried? If so, that was not mentioned in the OP

A divorce, by itself, has little bearing on recieving Communion. It would be a subsequent remarriage that would affect it.

 

[ksrmarsh1]

Thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut. Just to clarify a couple of things my friend is remarried and is not living as brother and sister. I have been praying about it and my first instinct was to drop it, but I keep on feeling a tug in my soul that makes me think that I may have a responsibility to take it further. Thanks

 

[buffalo]

These are touchy situations indeed - however - True Christian charity demands fraternal correction.

Pope stresses need for ‘fraternal correction’ in Christian life

…

		  	  	 			http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/images/size340/ppbxvi130810e.jpg
  Pope Benedict XVI
  
  Castel Gandolfo, Italy, Sep 4, 2011 / 01:42 pm ([CNA/EWTN News](http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/)).-  Correcting the behavior of those gone astray is an essential part of  Christian life, said Pope Benedict XVI in his Sunday Angelus address  Sept. 4.

“This approach is called fraternal correction: it is not a reaction to injury suffered, but is moved by love for one’s brother,” said the Pope to pilgrims gathered at his summer residence of Castel Gandolfo.
The Pope made his comments in the light of today’s Gospel in which Jesus suggests that “if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.”
The text of the Gospel “tells us that brotherly love also involves a sense of mutual responsibility,” said the Pope, “so if my brother sins against me, I must use love towards him and, first of all, speak to him personally, pointing out that what he has said or done is not good.”

 

[Wesley1982]

Before taking communion in a Catholic Church I always spoke with the Priest making sure that it was ok.

 

[ksrmarsh1]

Respect for the souls of others: scandal
2284 Scandal is an attitude or behavior which leads another to do evil. The person who gives scandal becomes his neighbor’s tempter. He damages virtue and integrity; he may even draw his brother into spiritual death. Scandal is a grave offense if by deed or omission another is deliberately led into a grave offense.
2285 Scandal takes on a particular gravity by reason of the authority of those who cause it or the weakness of those who are scandalized. It prompted our Lord to utter this curse: "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea."86 Scandal is grave when given by those who by nature or office are obliged to teach and educate others. Jesus reproaches the scribes and Pharisees on this account: he likens them to wolves in sheep’s clothing.87
2286 Scandal can be provoked by laws or institutions, by fashion or opinion.
Therefore, they are guilty of scandal who establish laws or social structures leading to the decline of morals and the corruption of religious practice, or to "social conditions that, intentionally or not, make Christian conduct and obedience to the Commandments difficult and practically impossible."88 This is also true of business leaders who make rules encouraging fraud, teachers who provoke their children to anger,89 or manipulators of public opinion who turn it away from moral values.
2287 Anyone who uses the power at his disposal in such a way that it leads others to do wrong becomes guilty of scandal and responsible for the evil that he has directly or indirectly encouraged. "Temptations to sin are sure to come; but woe to him by whom they come!"90

2326 Scandal is a grave offense when by deed or omission it deliberately leads others to sin gravely.

2353 *Fornication *is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Moreover, it is a grave scandal when there is corruption of the young.

This is actually very helpful. Thanks

 

[sw85]

If your friend is invalidly receiving communion, she could very well be sinning. Sinning (at least certain kinds of sinning, and at least potentially) IS everyone’s business, because salvation is a communal affair, especially with respect to communion, which pertains to public conduct.

If your friend is sinning and not receiving absolution, her soul may well go to Hell when she dies. So you owe her, in a spirit of charity, to tell her your concerns.

You should express your sentiments to your friend. Hedge and qualify it with as many “I don’t know, but it seems to me…”'s you need to, but get the point across. If, after that, she does not listen or persists in her course, I think you’ve done your duty.