Priest gave friend OK to receive communion without annulment. What should I do?

  • Thread starter Thread starter ksrmarsh1
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
buffalo said:
These are touchy situations indeed - however - True Christian charity demands fraternal correction.

Pope stresses need for ‘fraternal correction’ in Christian life

…
Code: 
		  	  	 			http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/images/size340/ppbxvi130810e.jpg
  Pope Benedict XVI
  
  Castel Gandolfo, Italy, Sep 4, 2011 / 01:42 pm ([CNA/EWTN News](http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/)).-  Correcting the behavior of those gone astray is an essential part of  Christian life, said Pope Benedict XVI in his Sunday Angelus address  Sept. 4.
“This approach is called fraternal correction: it is not a reaction to injury suffered, but is moved by love for one’s brother,” said the Pope to pilgrims gathered at his summer residence of Castel Gandolfo.
The Pope made his comments in the light of today’s Gospel in which Jesus suggests that “if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.”
The text of the Gospel “tells us that brotherly love also involves a sense of mutual responsibility,” said the Pope, “so if my brother sins against me, I must use love towards him and, first of all, speak to him personally, pointing out that what he has said or done is not good.”
Click to expand...
Thanks, that is exactly what I was afraid of but it is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Thanks so much! 👍
 
sw85 said:
If your friend is invalidly receiving communion, she could very well be sinning. Sinning (at least certain kinds of sinning, and at least potentially) IS everyone’s business, because salvation is a communal affair, especially with respect to communion, which pertains to public conduct.

If your friend is sinning and not receiving absolution, her soul may well go to Hell when she dies. So you owe her, in a spirit of charity, to tell her your concerns.

You should express your sentiments to your friend. Hedge and qualify it with as many “I don’t know, but it seems to me…”'s you need to, but get the point across. If, after that, she does not listen or persists in her course, I think you’ve done your duty.
Click to expand...
Thanks, I do feel she should be given the best information that the church teaches so she can make an informed decision. If in fact the priest did cousel her in the wrong direction I feel it is my responsibility to inform her of church teaching because I love her and I do care about the state of her soul as I know she cares about mine. Once she hears the truth then she can choose whatever path she likes and then it is between her and God. Thanks, this is not what I wanted to hear but what I needed to hear! 👍
 
ksrmarsh1 said:
This is actually very helpful. So my question is, if in fact the priest is presenting a teaching that can be considered scandal, is it my responsibility to talk to him about it? And if so how far should I pursue it? I really don’t want to deal with it, but if it is my responsibility to then I guess I will have to.
Click to expand...
You have stated the fact that she is remarried, so if you know others know, too.

Perhaps you should approach it as a question and see how the priest responds.
 
The problem is that we don’t know exactly what the priest said to the individual in question, perhaps the individual misunderstood the priest. Or perhaps the priest misunderstood the situation.
The priest is not going to discuss it with a 3rd party and the bishop’s office really can’t do much unless the individual in question contacts them.

The most that the OP can do is charitably and lovingly discuss it with their friend at an opportune time.
 
But I thought you HAD told her - if so then you have done your part and are not obligated to ram things down her throat.
 
NewEnglandPriest said:
The problem is that we don’t know exactly what the priest said to the individual in question, perhaps the individual misunderstood the priest. Or perhaps the priest misunderstood the situation.
The priest is not going to discuss it with a 3rd party and the bishop’s office really can’t do much unless the individual in question contacts them.

The most that the OP can do is charitably and lovingly discuss it with their friend at an opportune time.
Click to expand...
That happens a lot - misunderstandings. Perhaps she could encourage her friend to “look it up” herself. What do you think?
 
buffalo said:
That happens a lot - misunderstandings. Perhaps she could encourage her friend to “look it up” herself. What do you think?
Click to expand...
Well, that could just land us back at square one. If she looks it up on the internet I’m not sure how much help that will be… lol
 
raaucoin said:
It is “scandal” if it causes someone else to sin or to misunderstand Church teaching. From the information we have, we don’t know if it is. Just being the topic of gossip and speculation is not scandal. If it were- none of us would be receiving.
Click to expand...
That’s exactly what’s happening though. Other people see that this person is divorced and re-married and fully participating, so they assume it’s ok (especially if it’s well known that this person is divorced and re-married). It gives the impression that divorce and re-marriage is ok, no annulment needed.
Brendan said:
Has the person remarried? If so, that was not mentioned in the OP
Click to expand...
Read closer:
ksrmarsh1 said:
My divorced catholic friend is remarried but not in the church. She claims our parish priest told her that since she goes to church every sunday and is raising her children catholic that it was OK for her to receive communion without going through an annulment. I recognize that this is not what the church teaches. Should I bring this up with the priest or the bishop, or just let it go?
Click to expand...
A dispensation would be required for any valid marriage not performed in the Church. If there was no dispensation, then the marriage is prima facie presumed-invalid (doubly so if there was a previous presumed-valid marriage), leading back to the issue of scandal.
 
buffalo said:
Well then she will know. Perhaps then she will go back and ask Father again.
Click to expand...
My point was that if she did an internet search she’ll probably get all sorts of conflicting answers.
 
NewEnglandPriest said:
The problem is that we don’t know exactly what the priest said to the individual in question, perhaps the individual misunderstood the priest. Or perhaps the priest misunderstood the situation.
The priest is not going to discuss it with a 3rd party and the bishop’s office really can’t do much unless the individual in question contacts them.

The most that the OP can do is charitably and lovingly discuss it with their friend at an opportune time.
Click to expand...
Thanks, that is very helpful. I have considered the possibility that my friend may have misunderstood the priest. I think I may just pass on some pamphlets or information to her re: authentic church teaching and let God take control of the rest. As for the priest, I will give him the benefit of the doubt unless I personally hear it from him in the future. Thanks again for your feedback:tiphat:
 
ksrmarsh1 said:
My divorced catholic friend is remarried but not in the church. She claims our parish priest told her that since she goes to church every sunday and is raising her children catholic that it was OK for her to receive communion without going through an annulment. I recognize that this is not what the church teaches. Should I bring this up with the priest or the bishop, or just let it go?
Click to expand...
You should do nothing as you do not have the whole story nor do you have any right to it.
 
LilyM said:
But I thought you HAD told her - if so then you have done your part and are not obligated to ram things down her throat.
Click to expand...
Thanks for bringing up this point. You’re right, I did tell her, but she claims the priest told her something contrary. Who am I to contradict a priest? And I do recognize the possibility that she may have misunderstood him. Also, it may be a situation in which she doesn’t want to know the truth, and if that’s the case then there is very little I can do. As for the priest, I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt unless I hear it first hand from him and then I can challenge him. Thanks:)
 
Wesley1982 said:
Before taking communion in a Catholic Church I always spoke with the Priest making sure that it was ok.
Click to expand...
:confused:

Your post above is confusing to me. Could you please clarify your statement above? Perhaps I am reading more than is there, but it almost sounds like you are not Catholic. Please clarify.
 
buffalo said:
You have stated the fact that she is remarried, so if you know others know, too.

Perhaps you should approach it as a question and see how the priest responds.
Click to expand...
I did think about this as an option. I meet with the priest often since I am a youth minister with the church so I might try to work it into conversation the next time we meet. Thanks:)
 
ByzCath said:
You should do nothing as you do not have the whole story nor do you have any right to it.
Click to expand...
Wow, I wish it could be that easy. I do recognize that there seems to be some missing parts of the puzzle, but it is my friend who actually pulled me into the situation. I love her dearly and I do feel a sense of responsibility that she at least has the best information to make an informed decision-not because I want to intrude into her life but because she invited me in. Whatever path she chooses I will continue to love and pray for her as I do all my friends, but it seems unfair to her if she was given wrong information and I do feel I should at least point her in the right direction.
 
ksrmarsh1 said:
Thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut. Just to clarify a couple of things my friend is remarried and is not living as brother and sister. I have been praying about it and my first instinct was to drop it, but I keep on feeling a tug in my soul that makes me think that I may have a responsibility to take it further. Thanks :confused:
Click to expand...
Your friend’s situation is by no means unique.
I am also acquainted with a number of folks in this same situation, where the pastor has given permission for Communion w/o annulment after a number of years in a civil marriage.
Apparently some padres feel that this is a legitimate option. Kind of like a lot of things in our modern church. If enough padres do things this way for a long enough time, it becomes OK, Church Law notwithstanding.
Yesterday’s sacrilege has a way of becoming today’s custom and tomorrow’s tradition.
Kind of hard to put toothpaste back in the tube.
It is what it is.
 
 
buffalo said:
These are touchy situations indeed - however - True Christian charity demands fraternal correction.
Click to expand...
It is not fraternal correction when a priest, presumably the pastor/spiritual director/confessor tells someone that they are free to receive the Eucharist.

This is raising oneself up as the authority to judge the soul of the individual in question.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top