Priest wouldnt let me confess!

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Butterfly4Jesus

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So last Saturday we went to the Grotto for confession. When I started my confession with…I was too frustrated with my kids…he interrupted with, “Thats not a sin” then continued on to give me a counselor to go to and ended my confession before I could say any more. It was about sinful anger being in me. I feel that anger is a sin. I may not act on it, but I would like to confess it. I dont need counseling. I know everyone gets angry. I just wanted to shower that off so to speak. Then I find out that he told my 3 other boys the same thing when they confessed anger, or any other sin. He recommended counseling again. We go to confession maybe once a month. Usually for things like missing a mass. Father John Riccardo says you can confess once a week if you like. I am so confused by this priest.
 
He’s correct, anger itself is not a sin. It’s an emotion. Just like how a random inappropriate can fly into your head. Anger can in fact be justified. Anger becomes a sin when you lose control of yourself or lash out because of it. But just getting angry is not a sin.
 
The pastor in our two church consortium (in a rural area) is very busy, and I get that, but he’s cut me off twice in confession after confessing just one sin! I was not making a long confession, and I go regularly, but he always seems like he can’t wait to get it over with as quickly as possible. After just one thing, he starts absolving me even if I had other things to confess. He does not wait for you to say something that could be interpreted as “ok…now I’m done” like “for these and all the sins of my life, I am truly sorry”. I was bewildered the first time it happened and sort of frustrated the second time. Are the sins that I fully intended to confess but got cut off truly forgiven?
 
Butterfly4Jesus said:
I feel that anger is a sin.
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Our feelings are not good indicators of what is and what is not sin.

Anger is an emotion. It is not a sin. We may commit sins while angry, but, even Christ experienced anger.

Scripture says “Be angry and sin not”.
Butterfly4Jesus said:
Usually for things like missing a mass.
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Are you intentinally staying away from Mass without a valid reason? “Skipped Mass because I wanted to eat ice cream and binge watch Netflix”? or “Two kids were up all night punking, then I could not find my car keys and we missed mass”.
 
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MaineCoonKitty said:
After just one thing, he starts absolving me even if I had other things to confess.
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All those other sins that you had planned to confess are also forgiven, along with any that you had forgotten.

I personally find it a bit off-putting if a priest gives me absolution without asking me to make an act of contrition, but that is also valid if the priest is convinced of your contrition.

So long as the priests absolves you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit/Ghost, you are contrite, resolved not to sin again, and you have not deliberately held back any known mortal sins, then my understanding is that your sins are forgiven.
 
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I wish I had thought of that, but he was very quick to
wrap it up"!
 
Thank you. It’s been bothering me and didn’t quite know how to handle it without being rude.

The next time I went to confession, I drove into the city to a different parish and had a very uplifting confession with a different priest. I will probably go back to him most of the time.
 
That’s a fair point I suppose, but if the priest knows you (or even if he doesn’t) and is convinced of your contrition in general, I suppose that he can absolve you of all your sins.
 
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Hmmmm. Consider obtaining a copy of a small Examination of Conscience, produced by Leaflet Missal. I have found it to be invaluable for several reasons.

https://www.leafletonline.com/examination-of-conscience

A revelation to me was that not every negative thought or action is a sin! There is an entire category of imperfections that we each possess. A result of the fall from grace - part and parcel of our concupiscence.

Understanding this can be a great help in directing our faith lives, helping us to avoid beating ourselves up, and in our struggle against those same imperfections.
 
Yes, I wanted to finish also. I didnt like being cut off. Confess with your lips, right?
 
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Missed mass because of camping, waited until 5pm Sunday and something fell through… Not often, but it happens. Thank you for clarifying anger. That helps a lot.
 
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MaineCoonKitty said:
he’s cut me off twice in confession after confessing just one sin! I was not making a long confession, and I go regularly,
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One confessed sin is all that is necessary for absolution to be given.
MaineCoonKitty said:
After just one thing, he starts absolving me even if I had other things to confess.
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This is why the advice to confess our serious sins - Mortal - first. That way they’ve been confessed.

Current Mortal sins, then venial sins, then past forgotten Mortal sins.
MaineCoonKitty said:
Are the sins that I fully intended to confess but got cut off truly forgiven?
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If venial yes. If mortal, then my advice is to go to confession and confess those. Perhaps to a different priest if possible and briefly explain what occurred at your last confession (which will help that priest understand why you are confessing sins which were committed before your last confession).
 
1ke said:
You didn’t intentionally miss mass. You planned to go to the 5 pm and then were unable to go. That isn’t a sin.
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Not going to Mass because “something fell through” may or may not represent being unable to go, it might be best to leave the judgement as to whether or not it was a sin to the priest in Confession.
 
My advice is to not return to confession with that priest as that seems very atypical. However if multiple priests tell you this then you should consider talking outside if confession with the priest and getting some genuine advice and getting the help you need.
 
As others have said, anger itself is not a sin, it is an emotion. If it were a sin (this emotion), then joy would also be a sin as it too is an emotion.

The sin occurrs when we do something with that anger, stemming from that anger. For example, if we are angry with another and think uncharitable thoughts about them, or speak to them disdainfully, unkindly, rudely etc, or lash out and strike the person, or do something to get back at the person etc -these are the sins of thought/word/deed which is why Anger is listed as one of the seven deadly sins. Because out of the emotion one can sin, including mortally.
Seven deadly sins and their remedies
 
Priests are all different. Some of them like to cut you off after 1 or 2 sins and give absolution, others will literally delay the daily Mass by 20 minutes so they can have very long confessions with people. In each case, someone is going to get frustrated. Once I have been to a priest and figured out his “confession style”, I’m prepared for the future and can also decide if I want to choose another priest next time if he’s someone I’m likely to see again.

Priests also bring their own pet peeves and biases into confession so if one of them feels strongly that you shouldn’t confess something like a feeling of anger, then he probably has developed a protocol to respond to people who confess it, and just says the same thing to everyone.

In the end, the goal is to get absolution so if he cut you off and didn’t give you a chance to confess one sin to be absolved , I would tell him I wasn’t done or would go to another priest if there was another there. But if you got absolution I wouldn’t worry about it.
 
I didnt really feel that I needed ‘Help’. I just get frustrated when my son makes me ask something too many times. I dont do anything but give him calm consequences. I just feel bad that it makes me mad. I think other parents feel frustrated at times. I dont think that warrants counseling suggestions. Just how I see it.
 
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