Priest's advice in the confessional - your opinion please

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GOOD NEWS!!! you do not have to get rid of your internet. you can keep your lovable friends here at Catholic Answer Forum. My sister had a boyfriend that had a problem similar to yours. My husband installed a program and put in the password to his computer so when he was tempted my sisters boyfriend couldnt get on those sites. you just have to have someone else put in the password so you do not know it.
 
A good book for this issue is CLEAN OF HEART, by Rosemarie Scott, published by R.A.G.E. Media. It helped me a great deal. That and a web filter to which the password was held by others.
 
bobolink said:
A good book for this issue is CLEAN OF HEART, by Rosemarie Scott, published by R.A.G.E. Media. It helped me a great deal. That and a web filter to which the password was held by others.
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Have they gotten web filters so that they will only filter oyt the garbage? My experiances with them is that they block alot of sites that I would actually like to have access to, but it has admittedly been a while since I have had one.
 
Jesus says if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. In other words, take drastic measures to root out sin in your life. If plucking out your wireless card will help you in this regard and allow you to keep your eyes, it certainly sounds like the better route to me.

I’ve also received bad advice from priests that are not in conformity with Church teaching, or make light of sin. If you can, find a different priest to confess to.
 
CWBetts said:
Have they gotten web filters so that they will only filter oyt the garbage? My experiances with them is that they block alot of sites that I would actually like to have access to, but it has admittedly been a while since I have had one.
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K9 web protect is good and it is free; it has settings on it to grade what content is blocked. There are other programs too - I have one in mind which also helped me in my battle. PM me if you require more details.
 
Thanks for the advice everyone. I got the internet wireless card taken out and so far it’s been very good for me. Not having internet access is hard because obviously there are a lot of things I used to use it for. For those who are curious, I’m online now on my work computer. There are many side effects to porn also besides the sin of watching it. I found I would always stay up really late, then the next day I would get up late, not have time for breakfast, be really sluggish at work, do a bad, job, gain weight, etc. etc. so in that regard porn punishes you itself. I don’t know if the filter would work for me. I would probalby go to extreme measures to get rid of it. I would probably find a way around it. When I brought my computer in I thought they’d be asking why I was getting it removed, but fortunately they didn’t really ask. first he said it was attached to the motherboard, then at the last minute he asked if I meant the wireless card. so I said yes. they removed it but when I got it back, the guy looked at the order and he was like “hmm, remove wireless card… that’s kind of weird…” and I just said something like yeh, I might replace it after. just to diffuse the questioning. I’m struggling with it a lot,. but it’s good to focus on something good, rather than “battling” the bad thing. it’s like many saints have said, when you sense sin, turn and run the other way. a mistake I used to make was to look at “other stuff”. I would convince myself only to look at pretty women, or watch the music channel or something, thinking I wouldn’t go into any hardcore stuff or anything pornographic. guess how many times that worked? umm, pretty much 0. Again, I appreacite the advice.
 
phil8888 said:
a mistake I used to make was to look at “other stuff”. I would convince myself only to look at pretty women, or watch the music channel or something, thinking I wouldn’t go into any hardcore stuff or anything pornographic.
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That’s a common tactic of Satan. He doesn’t want you to get rid of the sin, so he’ll make another sin seem like a middle ground… too bad that middle ground is just a slippery slope back into the sin you were trying to avoid.

Example: If you’re trying to stop masturbating while watching pornography, you say to yourself, “well, maybe I’ll just look at the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated; that’s not porn.” Then you’ll say, “well, maybe I’ll look at the models wearing nothing but paint, that’s not porn.” Then you’ll say, “well, I’ll look at pictures of naked women, that’s not hardcore porn.” Then you’ll say, “well, I’ll watch porn, but I won’t do anything while I watch it.” And before you know it, you’re back where you started.
 
You’re doing good Phil. God bless you. I’ll pray for your intentions this evening at Mass.
 
I don’t think there is really that much discussion to be had on this topic. We are called to “flee from sin.” No effort toward that end will be unfruitful. Also, a popular Act of Contrition ends with the promise to “avoid the near occasion of sin.” If the internet is the near occasion of sin, avoid it. Pretty simple.

Also, the Catechism clearly states porn is grave sin (CCC 2354). If the other two conditions are present too (save the exception for addiction, i guess), you have mortal sin. This is no minor issue.
 
It’s already been said. It sounds like the priest might be struggling in this area and may even have the same weakness as you so is unable to advise you. It might be advisable to find another priest for Confession although you could still go to his mass. We are asked to avoid the occasions of sin aswell as sin itself so removing the Internet seems a good idea. Good luck.
 
Greetings:

Two of the more oft-cited and highly recommended books on how to fight impurity are “Every Man’s Battle” by Arterburn & Stoeker and “Clean of Heart” by Rosemarie Scott.

Here you can find sources where you can take a preview before purchase them:

eD2K links:
ed2k://|file|Arterburn%20&%20Stoeker%20-%20Every%20Man’s%20Battle.pdf|24613840|0 FEE9ABE27B0014EFB855641EB5E4162|h=UR7SCY 3GBB3HURLVHXQ2YP7ZQFUJKVC4|/
ed2k://|file|Rosemarie%20Scott%20-%20Clean%20of%20Heart.pdf|21728910|A42CC AA5EDA7F3D77B5EDCAACCE2B0A4|h=JMXTXPEFYX MGKPVTNGBIYUVN4BOSV5MV|/

Torrent files:
drop.io/ImpurityAddictionSupportGroup
 
Since I’m not a guy, I can’t speak well to the porn thing, but if the priest was really that casual about the sacrilegious communion, that would bother me. Yes, the sacrilege is forgiven once confessed, but I would have expected a little more urgent counseling about this, so that the penitent would understand the seriousness and make sure not to repeat it. (JMHO)
 
phil8888 said:
I’ve been struggling with porn for some time now. On wednesday, I brought my computer to the store and had the internet card removed so I couldn’t access internet wirelessly. I went to confession later that day, then Mass. I had a question about my confession, and I wanted to get your esteemed opinion on this matter.

I told the priest of the struggle I’ve been having, and told him my plan to remove the internet from the computer. Then he said, no no, don’t do that. I was a bit surprised, well, kind of, and I emphasized that I’ve been struggling with it for a while. I said previously that it might be a bit hard but I have to do that. He kept downplaying it. He said sometimes you’ll get curious and you’ll want to look at those pictures. even when you’re 95, you’ll get those temptations. don’t get the internet removed. you need it for a lot of things in your life and it’s really important. then he said it wasn’t necessarily even sinful. I guess that could be true, at least in a subjective way. But then I mentioned also that I had received communion without going to confession first, and he said basically just to tell God I’m sorry in my heart and Jesus will invite me to receive him and to not worry about it.

I’m just wondering what you think about this. Please let me know your opinion of the priest’s advice. I would prefer if you did not personally attack the priest, but feel free to say anything you like about what he said. Thanks.

Btw, he’s 81 years old.
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Are you sure he knows what the Internet is? If it is a cause of sin for you, remove it, and offer it up. As Christ said, it is better to lop off a hand then throw the whole body into Hell. The internet is a luxury, not a necessity.
 
I don’t find the priest’s advice to be all that horrible. The internet can be a healthy source of communication, education and enjoyment.

First of all, we’re relying on someone telling us what the priest said. We weren’t there for the whole conversation. This is all hearsay and the OP may have not heard the whole message or misinterpreted it.

Secondly, I personally think it is better to confront and conquer your demons than try to remove them from your life. Porn is everywhere. So you don’t see it on the internet. What’s to stop you from visiting an adult bookstore? Or watching a porn channel on TV?

Granted, the internet does make it easier but an addict is always an addict and will find ways to feed their addiction. It cannot be ignored. It must be addressed and treated. It is a life long battle.

It is no different then being addicted to drugs or alcohol. You will always be exposed to your addiction and hopefully, if you are recovering, you are practicing the 12 steps and praying about it on a daily basis.

To suggest that the priest is a pervert because he gave this advice…which we don’t even know he did because we weren’t there…is hardly a Christian attitude I want to emulate.
 
I am more or less in agreement with the priest. Removing the Internet will only mask the problem, not cure it. The Internet in itself is not sinful. It is neutral, it is an infrastructure like the telephone. What is sinful is what some people put on it, and the folks that view those things. Would you recommend that a notorious gossip go without a telephone? I doubt it.

What’s really needed is some good counseling to try to get to the root of the problem, and perhaps getting someone to set up site blockers on your computer and only they know the password, as a temporary measure until you get help for the problem.

As has been said, as well, porn is everywhere, you don’t need the Internet to access it.
 
I’m not sure where the disconnect is here. We can all agree removing access to the Internet will not solve the problem alone. An addict will find whatever he is addicted to if he wants to. With all due respect, this is absolutely not the point.

Is it reasonable to tell a person trying to quit smoking to keep cigarettes around the house just because it would be easy to get them if he wanted them anyway? Of course not!! That is advice of the devil.

We need to strive toward holiness because God is holy. Removing the near occasion of sin is our duty as we strive toward holiness!!

Remove access to the Internet and continue to strive toward holiness.

Pray for your priest too!
 
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