Priests and confession- Are they always willing to listen?

[Luvtosew]

Well this is what the Pope said in that article referenced by Iloveangels

“(D)o not fail to give appropriate space to exercising the ministry of penance in the confessional. To be welcomed and heard is also a human sign of God’s welcome and goodness towards His children,” he said.

by that I’m sure he mean sufficient time. So he must be aware of whats happening.

 

[NewEnglandPriest]

I heard that pre- Vatican II (and today in some traditional masses) confessions would be heard during mass. There would be a Priest in the confessional when mass is going on, and those who needed to go would sit at the pews near the confessional.

When I was in Mexico a few years back, I attended a local parish on a Sunday. During the readings parishioners were going up to the presider’s chair one at a time. I asked someone what was happening and they told me: “They’re going to confession.”

So, it still does happen in parts of the world!

 

[TrueLight]

When I was in Mexico a few years back, I attended a local parish on a Sunday. During the readings parishioners were going up to the presider’s chair one at a time. I asked someone what was happening and they told me: “They’re going to confession.”

So, it still does happen in parts of the world!

Yes it does. It happens at an FSSP parish I sometimes attend. The people line up against the wall and confession continues during mass up until a certain point. I can’t remember which point in the mass.

 

[puzzleannie]

I’ve just had a horrendous experience with a certain priest from our parish. Went for christmas morning mass. Hoped to have a quick confession just before the mass, other priests have allowed it before. This one gave me a harsh rejection/reprimand that I found myself wiping some tears in the early part of mass.

sorry you had a bad experience but it this had been our priest (who never under any stress would willingly hurt anyone this way) I would have reminded you that he has been fighting flu all week, was present every night for the last two weeks for extra confession hours, has 6 masses this weekend, plus a funeral yesterday morning and two tomorrow, and has only a few minutes between Masses even to collect his thoughts, take some medicine and prepare for the next Mass. If every one of 1000 parishioners expected him to confess them before Mass it would be very hard on him.

 

[TrueLight]

sorry you had a bad experience but it this had been our priest (who never under any stress would willingly hurt anyone this way) I would have reminded you that he has been fighting flu all week, was present every night for the last two weeks for extra confession hours, has 6 masses this weekend, plus a funeral yesterday morning and two tomorrow, and has only a few minutes between Masses even to collect his thoughts, take some medicine and prepare for the next Mass. If every one of 1000 parishioners expected him to confess them before Mass it would be very hard on him.

Sorry to derail, but if a priest has the flu, how does that work with distributing communion?

 

[Wings5]

Why is it that Catholics can’t stand being in their churches any longer than they have to be? In the door to go to mass, and then out the door as soon as possible and out of the parking lot…WHEW.

Confession and mass at the same time. Whoopee, I’m multitasking. ???



Don’t get me wrong. I’m not some kind of modernist who thinks people shouldn’t go to confession. On the contrary. I think that there ought to be far more occasions where priests sit in the confessional and I think that it’s really peculiar how long the Holy Communion lines are when the Confession lines are so short. But multi-tasking??

Unfortunately, sometimes it seems like it is our priests who can’t stand being in their churches any longer than they have to be. Hence the twenty-minutes-on-Saturday confession window. In the last two years, I have not heard the Sacrament of Penance (under any of its various titles) mentioned from the pulpit even once. Perhaps that is a good starting point to bring more Catholics to the sacrament.

As far as having confession during Mass, what an excellent reminder to people that the faith is more than mass once each week. Sadly, there are probably too few vocations in the church for this to happen at most parishes.

Also, I find it interesting that many priests remind/admonish penitents that confession is not counseling. Well, why have the face-to-face setup with living room chairs, soft lighting, and pictures on the wall? Feels more like a psych office than a confessional; no?

 

[iloveangels]

Unfortunately, sometimes it seems like it is our priests who can’t stand being in their churches any longer than they have to be. Hence the twenty-minutes-on-Saturday confession window. In the last two years, I have not heard the Sacrament of Penance (under any of its various titles) mentioned from the pulpit even once. Perhaps that is a good starting point to bring more Catholics to the sacrament.

As far as having confession during Mass, what an excellent reminder to people that the faith is more than mass once each week. Sadly, there are probably too few vocations in the church for this to happen at most parishes.

Also, I find it interesting that many priests remind/admonish penitents that confession is not counseling. Well, why have the face-to-face setup with living room chairs, soft lighting, and pictures on the wall? Feels more like a psych office than a confessional; no?

On priests being in the actual building, I would agree with you. They attend far too many meetings, and they’re not on the premises as often as they should be. I’m not sure this is their fault part of the time. I think they are expected to be at a lot of time-wasting meetings.

Confession during mass doesn’t teach people that there’s more to Catholic life than Mass. In fact, it teaches them pretty much the opposite. It teaches them that maybe they should expect to have “one-stop-service” and only have to show up once a week.

Confession was never meant to be counseling. For one thing, confession is about sins and counseling is about psychology (which for some reason a lot of people can’t keep straight). And for another thing, priests are trained in moral theology which is what is needed in the confessional and psychologists/psychiatrists are trained in the behavioral science and the treatment of mental illness, which is something different.

{And yes, I also think the modern face-to-face method of confession encourages this kind of confusion and isn’t very effective. So ineffective in fact, that I think it can be called one of the failures of the post-V2 period.}

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

What are these meetings that keep taking up their time anyway?

 

[iloveangels]

What are these meetings that keep taking up their time anyway?

About the school, about the youth group, about the budget and the building plans, about this and that. Also corporate style meetings at the diocese, I would imagine.

Not as much emphasis is placed on evangelization and getting out there as should be, I don’t think. But then I’m not a priest. I wish there were one who could chime in…

 

[Luvtosew]

I just know I"m going to be swatted for this, but I think confession is more important than communion ,
not to diminsh communion at all and its just my opinion.

 

[Marybeloved]

Confession during mass doesn’t teach people that there’s more to Catholic life than Mass. In fact, it teaches them pretty much the opposite. It teaches them that maybe they should expect to have “one-stop-service” and only have to show up once a week.

I’m yet to experience this attitude myself or any of the people who do confess where it’s offered during mass- Most of those people in fact are good catholics who care about daily mass and communion and appreciate the availability of confession. From my own experience and that of others who have posted here, it seems in fact that it’s the kinds of groups that take church teaching very seriously that tend to practice this- which is nothing more than availing confession as frequently as the mass- A wonderful, wonderful thing too.

 

[Marybeloved]

sorry you had a bad experience but it this had been our priest (who never under any stress would willingly hurt anyone this way) I would have reminded you that he has been fighting flu all week, was present every night for the last two weeks for extra confession hours, has 6 masses this weekend, plus a funeral yesterday morning and two tomorrow, and has only a few minutes between Masses even to collect his thoughts, take some medicine and prepare for the next Mass. If every one of 1000 parishioners expected him to confess them before Mass it would be very hard on him.

I’m pretty sure I was the only one. Once we were a number and the Priest (a different one) asked us to come after mass.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

I just know I"m going to be swatted for this, but I think confession is more important than communion ,
not to diminsh communion at all and its just my opinion.

Without Confession, for the most part one can pretty much not receive communion.

 

[Luvtosew]

Without Confession, for the most part one can pretty much not receive communion.

\

yep.if they did away with confession no need to have communion anymore.
that would make us pretty much Protestant hey.

 

[YADA]

I’ve just had a horrendous experience with a certain priest from our parish. Went for Christmas morning mass. Hoped to have a quick confession just before the mass, other priests have allowed it before. This one gave me a harsh rejection/reprimand that I found myself wiping some tears in the early part of mass.

Really, attempting to ‘catch a priest’ minutes before they are scheduled to celebrate the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass to hear a confession is really impractical -and your certainty that you are the only one is non-sensical … you may be but there are several hundreds of people attending any one of the 7 Christmas Masses at my parish … the priest has many people to address at that time - as important as hearing a confession is and it is important - that is not the appropriate time or place. If you had concerns regarding your worthiness to receive - you should have participated at Mass and refrained from receiving … It is not necessary to receive at every Mass and actually per Canon Law - you are to receive at least once a year during the Easter Season - it is necessary to participate in and attend Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation. It is not possible for a priest to be immediately accessible for every person who feels the need to go to confession on their personal whim … and by your own testimony here - you could have approached the day before but did not.

Since sins can occur any time (I already went for confession on Monday) but fell into some sin I couldn’t discern as mortal or not.

This comment in and of itself speaks volumes … scrupulosity - the need for a spiritual advisor :yup:, the ability to understand/discern the difference between mortal and venial sins

Should have looked for him yesterday evening- Left the house too late last evening (my fault) so I figured I could steal one minute for confession right before mass in the morning, as other priests have allowed that before without even so much as a complaint. I really was hoping to partake of communion this Christmas morning. So I waited for him at his “office” waiting to ask him for one minute (literally) before mass.

I guess I’m used to the Opus Dei priests who I used to confess to sometime ago- They always seemed more than happy to oblige a penitent. And when they could not, would just politely indicate a better time for it- Like tell you to return after mass or something. Some of these Diocesan priests sometimes don’t seem to care so much about freeing a soul from sin- They tell you that this is not the right time of going to confession as if sin has a schedule.

Yet yourself clearly stated that you* should have* looked for the priest the day before and could have but*** failed to do so!*** … something that you felt was so very important - perhaps mortally so - yet you - the person responsible for the sin failed to act immediately and you now castigate the priest for not acting fast enough - with the immediacy you wanted …

So now I haven’t confessed. I have to wait till Tuesday to visit an Opus Dei Priest. I don’t see myself ever going back there. I don’t know how I can reveal myself in such vulnerable ways as telling ugly sin (sin always is ugly) to a person already appearing harsh and resentful- especially without a confessional box. It’s partly my fault, I know. But am I the only one who notices this grudging attitude regarding confessions from some of these Priests?

Perhaps it is your attitude that is grudging …

Pssst: in reality - you do not reveal your sins to the priest but to Christ - the priest is acting in Persona Christi - it is Christ that hears your sins and Christ who forgives …

 

[Luvtosew]

Yada,

You make such good points, one does need to go at set times or just go to Mass. One cant expect the Priest to be doing confessions before Mass or be on call for them.
But I think maybe from reading posts that a lot of people go to confession too much (but whom am I to judge) maybe either due to wrong info and and or like you said,scrupulosity.

 

[puzzleannie]

Sorry to derail, but if a priest has the flu, how does that work with distributing communion?

he didn’t and excused himself from greeting people after Mass as well. Thankfully another priest came to help out with a couple of Masses, who himself has already 3 Masses at his own parish, and is out to one of the missions this afternoon. He worked confessions at at least 3 parishes almost every night the last week or so as well.

Please assume that when a priest seems to shut you down, or be curt or even rude, he might have a very good reason, and try not to take it personally.

 

[YoungTradCath]

I don’t want to sound presumptuous, but we have five priests at my church and you only ever see one of them, and it’s the pastor, and only when he’s celebrating mass. Confession is 30 minutes, once a week, on Saturday. I find that quite ridiculous. I know they have meetings and things, and we’re even planning a new church, but still. Five priests! And only like 450 families! And there aren’t more regularly-scheduled confessions? That’s inexcusable, to be frank.

I also agree with the poster who said that face-to-face confession probably does more harm than good. It so does make it feel like a psych office! Bring back the confessionals, and please, if at all possible, schedule more confessions! I’ve been to daily mass a few times, and the priests sit in the sacristy for about 45 minutes before mass joking with each other (they usually concelebrate daily mass). ??? I love my priests, and I don’t want to vilify them, but still…

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

I don’t want to sound presumptuous, but we have five priests at my church and you only ever see one of them, and it’s the pastor, and only when he’s celebrating mass. Confession is 30 minutes, once a week, on Saturday. I find that quite ridiculous. I know they have meetings and things, and we’re even planning a new church, but still. Five priests! And only like 450 families! And there aren’t more regularly-scheduled confessions? That’s inexcusable, to be frank.

I also agree with the poster who said that face-to-face confession probably does more harm than good. It so does make it feel like a psych office! Bring back the confessionals, and please, if at all possible, schedule more confessions! I’ve been to daily mass a few times, and the priests sit in the sacristy for about 45 minutes before mass joking with each other (they usually concelebrate daily mass). ??? I love my priests, and I don’t want to vilify them, but still…

Wow…you are lucky-5 priests? We have one…and almost 1,300 families. Our priest has confessions twice a week and will always stay longer if needed. This past Wed it was scheduled longer…one hour and my turn was finally at the one hour mark…and there were still 5-6 people behind me. But after doing all that…and all that he has to do in our parish…ya he might turn someone away if they showed up just before Mass. And I wouldn’t blame him.

For the other poster…I’ve heard him preach numerous times about reconciliation…and there is always a line for it.

I for one like the face to face…and it’s been very helpful. sometimes if I’m thinking I can’t be forgiven it helps to look into our priests eyes and find Christ there.

 

[Marybeloved]

Really, attempting to ‘catch a priest’ minutes before they are scheduled to celebrate the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass to hear a confession is really impractical -and your certainty that you are the only one is non-sensical … you may be but there are several hundreds of people attending any one of the 7 Christmas Masses at my parish … the priest has many people to address at that time - as important as hearing a confession is and it is important - that is not the appropriate time or place. If you had concerns regarding your worthiness to receive - you should have participated at Mass and refrained from receiving … It is not necessary to receive at every Mass and actually per Canon Law - you are to receive at least once a year during the Easter Season - it is necessary to participate in and attend Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation. It is not possible for a priest to be immediately accessible for every person who feels the need to go to confession on their personal whim … and by your own testimony here - you could have approached the day before but did not.

This comment in and of itself speaks volumes … scrupulosity - the need for a spiritual advisor :yup:, the ability to understand/discern the difference between mortal and venial sins


Yet yourself clearly stated that you* should have* looked for the priest the day before and could have but*** failed to do so!*** … something that you felt was so very important - perhaps mortally so - yet you - the person responsible for the sin failed to act immediately and you now castigate the priest for not acting fast enough - with the immediacy you wanted …

Perhaps it is your attitude that is grudging …

Pssst: in reality - you do not reveal your sins to the priest but to Christ - the priest is acting in Persona Christi - it is Christ that hears your sins and Christ who forgives …

[edited]

I already noted my fault in my post. I did not come here to find out what my obligations were- and certainly not to be spoken down to about it. I complained about the Priests’ manner of saying no- without even so much as a ‘come back some time later’. Like I said, this happens in my parish. In fact when I looked for the priest for confession, it was the catechist and his aide at mass who advised me to wait for him and have the quick confession before the mass started- wasn’t even my idea. It has happened before and I would inquire from the assistant who would go in and tell me that the priest told me to go in- one minute confession before mass. Otherwise, they would tell me to come back after mass or later in the day and that’s exactly what I would do. Not only that, it happens only when I have fallen into some sin that is somewhat serious and feel uneasy about waiting for days before the next confession, it’s not typical- or odd seeing as it’s those resident at the parish who advise on the best time for confession and they told me to wait for the priest before mass.

And I was the only one. Next time read the context of a conversation before staging your little inquisition on a thread- The poster had commented that if all the parishioners had showed up for confession before the mass, then the situation would be impossible, to which I replied that I was the only one- as in, the only one waiting for confession- everyone else was in the church.

PS:- Your assumption that the lack of certainty about the gravity of a sin is scrupulosity is both naive, presumptuous and just plain silly. Scrupulosity is a word that comes up when a certain pattern has shown itself over some time- not when someone on occasion wonders about the gravity of the sin they’ve succumbed to and being unclear about it. Perhaps you think you know all there is to know about judging the gravity of the sins you fall into occasionally- I’m not so presumptuous.

[edited]

Peace.