Priests and confession- Are they always willing to listen?

[Marybeloved]

Numeraries of Opus Dei should not always be taken as models. I went to Bilbao to renew my passport and a numerary from Peru went to see his Consulate. We were finished at 2pm and could have waited for the 5 pm Mass. But he wanted to hit the road. He asked me for the wheel and drove as fast as the car could go breaking all laws to get to a church that had an early evening Mass. They were giving Communion as we arrived and he ran up in time.
I was shattered in disbelief.

How does anyone know a priori that a confession will only last a minute? It looks to me that she would be forcing the priest to do it quickly.

I have seen nuns who had arrived from a long trip ask the priest to open the tabernacle and give the Communion. And once a priest had missed a person at the far end of the altar rail.
He opened the tabernacle and gave the person Communion. I would not do it because I had been tardy in getting to confession.

Did you follow that conversation from the beginning? That poster was not at fault- it was the priest, and he did it habitually and she always missed communion because of that until that incident when she asked for it. So the comment about requesting it due to “tardiness” about confession is really out of place here and unfair to her.

Secondly, myself I request communion if I’m in church, late for communion at mass and I can’t get to another mass that day and I’m not in mortal sin. If it’s not convenient, the Priest says so- simple! Why anyone would think that was wrong is just ridiculous to me. If I have the opportunity and it’s OK with the Priest, I’d be a fool not to receive our Lord because some think it’s not “proper”.

 

[James_Miller]

Yes I have read from the beginning. The missing communion because of lateness getting to confession is in a third paragraph.
The plan for a 1 minute is in my second paragraph.

 

[paperwight66]

For all you know he was going to use that last “minute” to use the restroom?

Oh, that is so true! I remember getting a bit hurt once when a priest couldn’t wait to get away from me in the sacristy, when previously we used to chat, but didn’t give a reason (for example, ‘Do excuse me, I’m expecting a phone-call’).

It was afterwards that I heard he was going into hospital to have his prostate removed, and realised that while speaking to me he had been jigging from foot to foot just like my small children used to.

As our priests age, it’s going to get more common, I’d have thought. poor chaps.

 

[cheese_puff]

We go to Mass for what WE can give to God, His due worship and praise.

Exactly right!

I think I will add extra daily prayers for our Priests, God bless them!

 

[Marybeloved]

Yes I have read from the beginning. The missing communion because of lateness getting to confession is in a third paragraph.
The plan for a 1 minute is in my second paragraph.

You said that you would not request communion due to tardiness in confession- The poster who insisted on communion was in no way tardy. She said that the Priest was habitually late at their appointments and made her confess after mass and she would always miss communion at mass. That day she insisted on communion after confession after many instances of being made to miss.

 

[James_Miller]

You were the poster and you said it was partly your fault:
quote" Since sins can occur any time (I already went for confession on Monday) but fell into some sin I couldn’t discern as mortal or not. Should have looked for him yesterday evening- Left the house too late last evening (my fault) so I figured I could steal one minute for confession right before mass in the morning, as other priests have allowed that before without even so much as a complaint. I really was hoping to partake of communion this Christmas morning. So I waited for him at his “office” waiting to ask him for one minute (literally) before mass. end quote"
I don’t see a problem confess in the evening and you have more time to prepare for your morning Communion. I made my Christmas confession Sunday 18th. But everyone who wanted to go before the midnight mass was able to do so.

 

[Marybeloved]

You were the poster and you said it was partly your fault:
quote" Since sins can occur any time (I already went for confession on Monday) but fell into some sin I couldn’t discern as mortal or not. Should have looked for him yesterday evening- Left the house too late last evening (my fault) so I figured I could steal one minute for confession right before mass in the morning, as other priests have allowed that before without even so much as a complaint. I really was hoping to partake of communion this Christmas morning. So I waited for him at his “office” waiting to ask him for one minute (literally) before mass. end quote"
I don’t see a problem confess in the evening and you have more time to prepare for your morning Communion. I made my Christmas confession Sunday 18th. But everyone who wanted to go before the midnight mass was able to do so.

Just what is the matter with you?

The Poster was Jaypeeto4 who posted in post #6 on page one that he had to insist that the priest open the tabernacle after mass and give him communion after he was made to miss it several times. Castello answered him on page 5 in post #70 that it was arrogant to do that (And by the way he has quoted Jaypeeto4 there quite clearly so I have no idea why anyone would put that on me). I myself jumped on that little discussion between the two of them in my post#76 challenging the assertion that what Jaypeeto described was arrogant. Then you posted the comment that you wouldn’t ask for communion just because you were tardy about confession and I told you that he was not tardy.

You said you followed the conversation- obviously not! You just jumped on it and now you’re accusing me of speaking about myself as “that poster”. What you’re discussing there is the Original post- I said absolutely nothing there about insisting on communion after mass…What discussion are you having?

 

[EvelynEVF]

Personally, it would never occur to me to ask for Communion out side the context of Mass, unless I were hospitalized or something. That said, one of the sweetest things that ever happened to me was when I missed Communion because I was babysitting at Mass and the child had to be taken out and quieted. After Mass I approached the tabernacle with the baby, just to talk to Jesus a bit. The deacon was clearing up the sacred vessels, but he stopped and came over and gave me Jesus. I was taken completely by surprise and it was delightful.

 

[Bearontherun]

Personally, it would never occur to me to ask for Communion out side the context of Mass, unless I were hospitalized or something. That said, one of the sweetest things that ever happened to me was when I missed Communion because I was babysitting at Mass and the child had to be taken out and quieted. After Mass I approached the tabernacle with the baby, just to talk to Jesus a bit. The deacon was clearing up the sacred vessels, but he stopped and came over and gave me Jesus. I was taken completely by surprise and it was delightful.

Wow, that is lovely. I have missed communion many times because of having to take my young children out of mass due to their inability to sit still, stay quiet, etc.

The concept of spiritual communion is a great comfort to me and I trust Jesus knows that I greatly desire to receive Him even when it is not always physically possible.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I don’t want to sound presumptuous, but we have five priests at my church and you only ever see one of them, and it’s the pastor, and only when he’s celebrating mass. Confession is 30 minutes, once a week, on Saturday. I find that quite ridiculous. I know they have meetings and things, and we’re even planning a new church, but still. Five priests! And only like 450 families! And there aren’t more regularly-scheduled confessions? That’s inexcusable, to be frank.

I also agree with the poster who said that face-to-face confession probably does more harm than good. It so does make it feel like a psych office! Bring back the confessionals, and please, if at all possible, schedule more confessions! I’ve been to daily mass a few times, and the priests sit in the sacristy for about 45 minutes before mass joking with each other (they usually concelebrate daily mass). ??? I love my priests, and I don’t want to vilify them, but still…

Are all 5 of these priests actually assigned to your parish or just “in residence” at your rectory? Just because 5 priests live there doesn’t mean they are all responsible to your parish, they may be on the bishop’s staff for the tribunal or something else, studying or teaching, or on a medical leave.

We have 3 priests assigned to our parish, one of whom is also the bishop’s MC. We also usually have 1 or 2 priests in residence who may occasionally say Mass, but are not in the normal rotation for Mass or confession, or any other parish responsibility.

Our pastor is very generous with the sacraments, so I have no complaints. Other parishes are obviously set up differently, and our job is to pray for our priests and politely, and at opportune moments (not right before or after Mass!), request additional confession times.

 

[ILikeToBeCathol]

Marybeloved:
I’m sorry to hear that. I’m a convert to Catholicism… I was baptized on the 21st (Dec 2011) of this month and went to my first confession yesterday. The nice thing about my parish is that there is confession everyday which means before Mass and now there will be more confessions during Mass as well since the pastor at my parish has just obtained a permanent assistant… It’s pretty awesome how they’ve got it set up at my parish… I’m not sure but I think all or at least most Latin-Tridentine Rite churches have it set up like that or it might just be because they’re FSSP priests… I’m not sure.

God love you
Pax Christi

 

[maryjk]

I am quoting the OP, just to bring the thread back on track.

I’ve just had a horrendous experience with a certain priest from our parish. Went for Christmas morning mass. Hoped to have a quick confession just before the mass, other priests have allowed it before. This one gave me a harsh rejection/reprimand that I found myself wiping some tears in the early part of mass.

When you say other priests have allowed it, was it before Christmas Mass? Or had you asked for a priest to hear your confession before maybe a daily Mass?

Since sins can occur any time (I already went for confession on Monday) but fell into some sin I couldn’t discern as mortal or not. Should have looked for him yesterday evening- Left the house too late last evening (my fault) so I figured I could steal one minute for confession right before mass in the morning, as other priests have allowed that before without even so much as a complaint. I really was hoping to partake of communion this Christmas morning. So I waited for him at his “office” waiting to ask him for one minute (literally) before mass.

It would have certainly taking more than a minute. Well, unless both of you were speed talking.

I guess I’m used to the Opus Dei priests who I used to confess to sometime ago- They always seemed more than happy to oblige a penitent. And when they could not, would just politely indicate a better time for it- Like tell you to return after mass or something. Some of these Diocesan priests sometimes don’t seem to care so much about freeing a soul from sin- They tell you that this is not the right time of going to confession as if sin has a schedule.

I can’t imagine any priest, a minute or so before Christmas Mass, would be happy to sit down with someone that could have come earlier, but just didn’t make it. I get the impression that you feel the world should stop whenever you have a need for confession. Maybe the priest could have been more polite, but really? Right before Christmas Mass? You are lucky he even got back to his office.

So now I haven’t confessed. I have to wait till Tuesday to visit an Opus Dei Priest. I don’t see myself ever going back there. I don’t know how I can reveal myself in such vulnerable ways as telling ugly sin (sin always is ugly) to a person already appearing harsh and resentful- especially without a confessional box. It’s partly my fault, I know. But am I the only one who notices this grudging attitude regarding confessions from some of these Priests?

It would be a great act of humility to go back to that same priest, during a scheduled time. This would be a time that I would tell my son that he messed up, (falling into sin, not showing up early enough or even the day before) and that he needs to suck it up (teen speak for “offer it up”)

So, instead of “noticing a grudging attitude regarding confessions,” realize that you were trying to wedge in a confession when there just wasn’t time. And then offer up your suffering. Then go back to that same priest, during a scheduled time.

 

[TrueLight]

I’m sorry to hear that. I’m a convert to Catholicism… I was baptized on the 21st (Dec 2011) of this month and went to my first confession yesterday. The nice thing about my parish is that there is confession everyday which means before Mass and now there will be more confessions during Mass as well since the pastor at my parish has just obtained a permanent assistant… It’s pretty awesome how they’ve got it set up at my parish… I’m not sure but I think all or at least most Latin-Tridentine Rite churches have it set up like that or it might just be because they’re FSSP priests… I’m not sure.

God love you
Pax Christi

Welcome home!

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

True, people used to line up for them - AND they each used to devote many hours, up to 12 hours a day, to hearing confessions on top of all their other duties, which did not suffer btw. Can the OP’s priest say the same? And what excuse does any priest, no matter how busy, have to refuse a person so rudely that she is left crying?

There were also a lot more priests around in that time. As far as an excuse for that priest…you don’t know for sure that he was rude. The OP felt that way for sure but then I have also seen then be rude and unkind in her responses here when people are just trying to help:shrug:

Bottom line…we don’t know the whole story and I think our priests deserve the benefit of the doubt as they give their lives for the Church. It seems people are so ready to judge them if they don’t walk on water without seeing their own faults and responsibilities. No wonder vocations suffer…who wants to have to be able to be entirely perfect or receive the venom that people seem all to willing to dish out.

Regardless of it all…the OP has to forgive him…no?

 

[GwenL]

I am quoting the OP, just to bring the thread back on track.
When you say other priests have allowed it, was it before Christmas Mass? Or had you asked for a priest to hear your confession before maybe a daily Mass?It would have certainly taking more than a minute. Well, unless both of you were speed talking. I can’t imagine any priest, a minute or so before Christmas Mass, would be happy to sit down with someone that could have come earlier, but just didn’t make it. I get the impression that you feel the world should stop whenever you have a need for confession. Maybe the priest could have been more polite, but really? Right before Christmas Mass? You are lucky he even got back to his office.
It would be a great act of humility to go back to that same priest, during a scheduled time. This would be a time that I would tell my son that he messed up, (falling into sin, not showing up early enough or even the day before) and that he needs to suck it up (teen speak for “offer it up”)

So, instead of “noticing a grudging attitude regarding confessions,” realize that you were trying to wedge in a confession when there just wasn’t time. And then offer up your suffering. Then go back to that same priest, during a scheduled time.

Great summary!

Now, prepare thyself for the flames!

By the way, I’m a sacristan. I won’t let anybody (who doesn’t belong or isn’t an emergency) in the sacristy five minutes before Mass. We maintain silence, unless the priest initiates conversation. Our priests actually like to pray while vesting and making final preparations for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. We respect that. After Mass–different situation. But shortly before Mass–why can’t we let them prepare themselves for the absolutely awesome thing they are about to do? And that only they can do?

 

[maryjk]

Great summary!

Thank you

Now, prepare thyself for the flames!

I can take it. :coolinoff:

By the way, I’m a sacristan. I won’t let anybody (who doesn’t belong or isn’t an emergency) in the sacristy five minutes before Mass. We maintain silence, unless the priest initiates conversation. Our priests actually like to pray while vesting and making final preparations for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. We respect that. After Mass–different situation. But shortly before Mass–why can’t we let them prepare themselves for the absolutely awesome thing they are about to do? And that only they can do?

I work at our parish, and I couldn’t imagine going into the Sacristy while the priest was preparing for Mass. Or thinking that he would have time to hear a confession.

My son is an altar server, and I have asked him what they do before Mass. He started reciting a prayer. So, our priests also pray while vesting.

 

[Marybeloved]

I am quoting the OP, just to bring the thread back on track.
When you say other priests have allowed it, was it before Christmas Mass? Or had you asked for a priest to hear your confession before maybe a daily Mass?It would have certainly taking more than a minute. Well, unless both of you were speed talking. I can’t imagine any priest, a minute or so before Christmas Mass, would be happy to sit down with someone that could have come earlier, but just didn’t make it. I get the impression that you feel the world should stop whenever you have a need for confession. Maybe the priest could have been more polite, but really? Right before Christmas Mass? You are lucky he even got back to his office.
It would be a great act of humility to go back to that same priest, during a scheduled time. This would be a time that I would tell my son that he messed up, (falling into sin, not showing up early enough or even the day before) and that he needs to suck it up (teen speak for “offer it up”)

So, instead of “noticing a grudging attitude regarding confessions,” realize that you were trying to wedge in a confession when there just wasn’t time. And then offer up your suffering. Then go back to that same priest, during a scheduled time.

I’m just curious about why people are accusing me of wanting the world to stop. Did you actually read my whole post? I said he treated me rather harshly. I also said that I’ve been politely sent away before and asked to come back later (I always did). I have the feeling that people just tend to overlook what people say to get to the part they can point a finger on and poke it. I have been told before- Now isn’t the best time, come back later. And I did. I started this thread because the Priest really spoke very harshly, and did not even say I could come back. I left feeling as if he had told me “Please don’t bother me again!” Not “Now is no good”.

To answer your question, it happened (before) at Sunday Mass- And like I said earlier, when I ask the people who act like the Priest’s assistants if they could inquire for me if confession is possible and when, they are the ones who advised to go in before the Priest leaves for mass- It’s apparently normal there. I was there earlier but they said to wait for the time before Mass. And I’m sorry, but I’m not returning to that Priest. I’ll go to a different Priest who I won’t struggle to expose myself to. I don’t want to go into confession and leave with somethings unsaid.

About one minute? Yes- it would have been that short. When I did it this way before (before Sunday Mass) the Priest and I both knew it was a bit of an emergency, not a regular confession precisely because it was then (before Mass) If not, I would wait for the next time. So I basically list the sins and the Priest speaks very minimally and absolves me.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

True, people used to line up for them - AND they each used to devote many hours, up to 12 hours a day, to hearing confessions on top of all their other duties, which did not suffer btw. Can the OP’s priest say the same? And what excuse does any priest, no matter how busy, have to refuse a person so rudely that she is left crying?

Actually, it isnot necessarilytrue that there other duties did not suffer. In the case of Padre Pio, one of the reasons his order forbade him from hearing confessions for a time was exactly because his other duties were suffering. He was not able to be at community prayers and other places because he was in the confessional.

The men mentioned, St Pio and St John Vianney, are examples because their lives were so extraordinary. Practically speaking, if a priest is hearing confessions for 12 hours a day, he is obviously NOT doing anything else during that time. Padre Pio was at a church that was run by his order with other priests available to say Mass, do baptisms, weddings, funerals, etc. St John Vianney was in a small, rural parish. As his fame spread and many, many people came to him for confession, other priests took over regular parish duties.

When we pray for our priests, we should certainly ask the intercession of Sts Pio and John, and other St priests, like St John Bosco, St. Vincent de Paul, or St Francis de Sales, who are known for other strengths.

 

[maryjk]

I’m just curious about why people are accusing me of wanting the world to stop. Did you actually read my whole post? I said he treated me rather harshly. I also said that I’ve been politely sent away before and asked to come back later (I always did). I have the feeling that people just tend to overlook what people say to get to the part they can point a finger on and poke it. I have been told before- Now isn’t the best time, come back later. And I did. I started this thread because the Priest really spoke very harshly, and did not even say I could come back. I left feeling as if he had told me “Please don’t bother me again!” Not “Now is no good”.

But what did he actually say? Not your feeling of what he said, but what did he actually say? I did read your post, in fact, I quoted it. And you never told us what he said, you simply told us that he “gave me a harsh rejection/reprimand.”

To answer your question, it happened (before) at Sunday Mass-

This was Christmas Mass. Chances are, he had a packed house.

And like I said earlier, when I ask the people who act like the Priest’s assistants if they could inquire for me if confession is possible and when, they are the ones who advised to go in before the Priest leaves for mass- It’s apparently normal there.

It must not be normal there. Maybe these “assistants” aren’t really assistants?

I was there earlier but they said to wait for the time before Mass. And I’m sorry, but I’m not returning to that Priest. I’ll go to a different Priest who I won’t struggle to expose myself to. I don’t want to go into confession and leave with somethings unsaid.

Then at least go to him and find out what happened. You owe him that. You are now of the opinion that he should have dropped everything and heard your confession or at least he should have taken time to explain why he didn’t have time to hear your confession. He deserves a chance to explain why he can’t hear a confession right before Christmas Mass.

About one minute? Yes- it would have been that short. When I did it this way before (before Sunday Mass) the Priest and I both knew it was a bit of an emergency, not a regular confession precisely because it was then (before Mass) If not, I would wait for the next time. So I basically list the sins and the Priest speaks very minimally and absolves me.

I am sorry, but there is no way for a priest to hear a confession in 60 seconds. Short? Maybe. But not literally a minute.

I don’t see a priest that doesn’t take confession seriously, I see a person that wants confession when she wants it and gets upset when a priest says no.

 

[ILikeToBeCathol]

Welcome home!

Thank you