Princess Stuff

[CroCatholic]

I haven’t read through all the posts so please forgive me if I’m repeating someone else’s thoughts… We have a 6 year old daughter who loves princesses and fairy tales etc. We were recently at parent-teacher interviews at her (catholic) school and her teacher mentioned it. She told us how refreshing it is to see a little girl be just that, a little girl. She mentioned that there was recently a Justin Bieber concert and a lot of the little girls were talking about how they love him and that they’re going to marry him and kiss him on the lips! I was pleased to hear her teacher mention this because we are trying to preserve as much of that child hood wonder as we can.

I’ve had this discussion with another mother once, she kind of made me feel like I was a bad mother for letting my daughter be “brain washed” by disney… I had to respond the only way I knew how. If you are concerned that disney movies are so influetntial as to distort your daughters whole world view, you’re obviously not doing your job as a parent, YOU should be the biggest influence in your child’s life… I’m not addressing this last comment to the OP, this was how I reacted to her “attack” on my parenting. To the OP, I don’t think that you have anything to worry about, let her have her princesses, better that than so many other options that are floating around in kiddie land!

 

[robwar]

You aren’t saying that kids can’t possibly pick up a sense of entitlement and get their priorities out of proportion by engaging in youth sports? You can’t mean that.

Sports are great for girls, but athletes need good parenting in order to avoid their own sense of entitlement and superiority, not to mention a lack of kindness towards those not on their team or with whom they are competing for playing time.

Sports teaches discipline and hard work. It also teaches to achieve goals you have to work for it. It also teaches team work with others. The winning teams are those that work together. Sports teaches self confidence from all of the above. The entitlement you are mentioning is what one might see in millionaire professional sports but that is not what goes on 99% of youth sports. Sports also teaches one to listen to others (coaches) and do what they tell you. sports also teaches organization in having your uniform ready, being there on time and the importance of practice. You now stack that up against all this princess stuff. What does that really teach? Any of the above? I have nothing against pink things or having girlie fun but I would rather spend my money and time on sports than send her to some “princess party” that teaches to be important I must dress like some frilly silly thing and that my self worth come from being someone’s doll.

 

[robwar]

Yes lets all start boycotting girly toys and TV shows. I also can’t stand the color pink, blue is much more edifying. We all know that girls who wear pink are full of themselves. I for one don’t want my girls thinking they’re special or something.

I take it that you are being sarcastic? I did not say boycott and if someone doesn’t like something, don’t buy it. My daughter has many pink things. the Op said she was sick of seeing princess things in the store. I think just don’t buy it or encourage character stuff which tends to be expensive anyway.

 

[odile53]

I say it could be bad sometimes, but how you as parents teach someone plays a great role in what level of importance your child will put on appearance. I played Pretty Pretty Princess growing up, played with Barbies (which set a ridiculous standard of beauty), I played with fake make-up kits, ect., but I have a healthy relationship with appearance. My Mom did a good job making sure that we treated everyone the same despite how they looked and made personality and kindness a priority and appearance as a secondary thing.

The Barbie dolls are what I really think are awful for little girls. For openers, I had read somewhere that if you translated Barbie’s dimensions into that of an adult woman, they would be physiologically unsustainable. But to have prepubescent girls making up games about who is going to be their date for the prom is just plain nuts, in my opinion.

Give the kid a toy that will encourage more appropriate play. Or better yet, something that will be educational (my fondest Christmas wish as a little girl was for a telescope and a chemistry set!)

 

[SecretaryMonday]

Just as an aside… you’ve probably heard the Orthodox Christians give the Eucharist (I think on silver or golden spoon) to infants.

Well… it’s not uncommon for the common man and woman in Eastern Orthodox marriage ceremonies to wear crowns on their heads.

1. weddingdetails.com/lore-tradition/orthodox-christian/

http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/F...wns-in-cathedral-altar-ready-for-ceremony.jpg

Beautiful, thanks for the picture.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

I have a three-and-a-half year old daughter, and another sex-undetermined child on the way.

Anyway, I can’t stand all this “Princess” stuff being targeted at little girls. It’s everywhere. I believe it is disempowering and is the first step to setting them up for the media onslaught that for girls, “appearance is everything”.

Anyone else have an opinion on this?

I grew up in the Disney princess era and I didn’t turn out to be “disempowered” or completely reliable on men. That being said, as women, we shouldn’t strive to be completely independent to the point where we neglect our own femininity and the masculinity of men. I had a women’s studies prof like that. Very scary. I felt bad for her husband.

I was watching Cinderella recently and realized that she is to some degree a princess young girls could strive to imitate. She exhibits great humility and meekness despite her unfortunate circumstances in life and the abuse from her step-sisters and stepmother. She doesn’t fight or argue, but acts humbly keeping faith in her dreams of things being better. Now here, we have to read between the lines a bit, but we can take this as someone being meek and humble keeping faith that some day her prince will come (ie: Jesus’ Second Coming) and that her suffering is only temporary and passing for something better (ie: Heaven and union with God).

 

[EasterJoy]

Sports teaches discipline and hard work. It also teaches to achieve goals you have to work for it. It also teaches team work with others. The winning teams are those that work together. Sports teaches self confidence from all of the above. The entitlement you are mentioning is what one might see in millionaire professional sports but that is not what goes on 99% of youth sports. Sports also teaches one to listen to others (coaches) and do what they tell you. sports also teaches organization in having your uniform ready, being there on time and the importance of practice. You now stack that up against all this princess stuff. What does that really teach? Any of the above? I have nothing against pink things or having girlie fun but I would rather spend my money and time on sports than send her to some “princess party” that teaches to be important I must dress like some frilly silly thing and that my self worth come from being someone’s doll.

As I said, sports are great in many way, especially for girls, but the benefits are not automatic. I am only saying that there are pitfalls there, too. For instance, there are a lot of ways to be on the winning team and yet fail at the real reasons that youth sports are worthwhile.

I have seen–and you, too, must have seen–youth and parents in sports who think the world revolves around one particular athlete and especially that it revolves around athletics itself. I see coaches who endure kids who don’t want to be coached and parents who don’t want their kids to know what it feels like to either sit on a bench or lose and kids who don’t know what it means to be a good sport. I’ve seen coaches who seem to think that a team that wins is automatically a team whose coach has given each athlete a positive athletic experience. If you haven’t, talk to some coaches. It can be really terrible for them. We’ve also seen people in sports who think that everything and everyone else in the world comes second to their sport. For instance: I’ve never seen anyone argue that “princessing” is a reason to miss Mass on Sunday. Infatuation with clothes doesn’t usually become a reason to stop having dinners together as a family. You don’t hear kids insist that they couldn’t do their homework because they had a shopping tournament over the weekend.

I can agree a hundred times over that “princesses” can grow up to throw their hearts and souls into pursuit of the “popular” clique, which can be extremely damaging. Having said that, ruffles and sparkles and pink don’t turn a little girl into a self-centered brat any more than sports turns a child into a academically-stunted moron. Those are unfair stereotypes, and they don’t help. I’m only saying that pursuit of athletics must be guided with a wise hand, too. Whatever is capable of grabbing a child’s imagination needs to be positively guided by the parent. Telling a child that her imagination is wrong or that her gender determines which way her imagination has got to run is not the best way to do that.

Just for disclosure: I’m the mother of two kids who are wild about sports. It has taken some family sacrifice, but it has been great for them. They were also boys who liked putting stick-on jewels on their toy dinosaurs, and who liked to decorate their room with fake flowers. What did that hurt, exactly? I don’t see that it hurt anything. It doesn’t hurt to like pretty things. It only hurts when things, even goals, are put before people. You’re going to have to teach your child that lesson no matter what grabs his or her imagination.

 

[KCT]

Make sure she knows all women are princesses of the King and she will be fine!

 

[robwar]

As I said, sports are great in many way, especially for girls, but the benefits are not automatic. I am only saying that there are pitfalls there, too. For instance, there are a lot of ways to be on the winning team and yet fail at the real reasons that youth sports are worthwhile.

I have seen–and you, too, must have seen–youth and parents in sports who think the world revolves around one particular athlete and especially that it revolves around athletics itself. I see coaches who endure kids who don’t want to be coached and parents who don’t want their kids to know what it feels like to either sit on a bench or lose and kids who don’t know what it means to be a good sport. I’ve seen coaches who seem to think that a team that wins is automatically a team whose coach has given each athlete a positive athletic experience. If you haven’t, talk to some coaches. It can be really terrible for them. We’ve also seen people in sports who think that everything and everyone else in the world comes second to their sport. For instance: I’ve never seen anyone argue that “princessing” is a reason to miss Mass on Sunday. Infatuation with clothes doesn’t usually become a reason to stop having dinners together as a family. You don’t hear kids insist that they couldn’t do their homework because they had a shopping tournament over the weekend.

I can agree a hundred times over that “princesses” can grow up to throw their hearts and souls into pursuit of the “popular” clique, which can be extremely damaging. Having said that, ruffles and sparkles and pink don’t turn a little girl into a self-centered brat any more than sports turns a child into a academically-stunted moron. Those are unfair stereotypes, and they don’t help. I’m only saying that pursuit of athletics must be guided with a wise hand, too. Whatever is capable of grabbing a child’s imagination needs to be positively guided by the parent. Telling a child that her imagination is wrong or that her gender determines which way her imagination has got to run is not the best way to do that.

Just for disclosure: I’m the mother of two kids who are wild about sports. It has taken some family sacrifice, but it has been great for them. They were also boys who liked putting stick-on jewels on their toy dinosaurs, and who liked to decorate their room with fake flowers. What did that hurt, exactly? I don’t see that it hurt anything. It doesn’t hurt to like pretty things. It only hurts when things, even goals, are put before people. You’re going to have to teach your child that lesson no matter what grabs his or her imagination.

I think that I don’t need a lecture on how to parent children. We have too many inactive children that would do better going outside and playing sports even at the rec level than sitting in front of the TV and watching videos, cartoons and commercials that promote this stuff as well as a bunch of other things. That is my point about sports and having active children doing things instead of watching disney and dreaming of them. In reference to sports, the biggest danger is too many activities with too many kids and all these things collide. It is being in not just one sport but 2-3 then you pile that with a lesson in dance or karate and then there is boy/girl scouts on top of it. BTW, I have never missed a mass do to sports or anything else, even if away in a tournament.

 

[robwar]

I grew up in the Disney princess era and I didn’t turn out to be “disempowered” or completely reliable on men. That being said, as women, we shouldn’t strive to be completely independent to the point where we neglect our own femininity and the masculinity of men. I had a women’s studies prof like that. Very scary. I felt bad for her husband.

I was watching Cinderella recently and realized that she is to some degree a princess young girls could strive to imitate. She exhibits great humility and meekness despite her unfortunate circumstances in life and the abuse from her step-sisters and stepmother. She doesn’t fight or argue, but acts humbly keeping faith in her dreams of things being better. Now here, we have to read between the lines a bit, but we can take this as someone being meek and humble keeping faith that some day her prince will come (ie: Jesus’ Second Coming) and that her suffering is only temporary and passing for something better (ie: Heaven and union with God).

I think you have an interesting point. Some of the princess stories are better than others for sure. I actually heard a Psychologist talk about Cinderella and mentioned that she was a role model because she kept her dignity in spite of the abuse from her family. Bell in Beauty and the Beast learned or shows that friendship and love should be based on common interests or values than looks. Some though do have terrible messages though such as Jasmine and the Little Mermaid and Snow White. I think the OP was objecting to the excessive push of princess stuff. It is all over clothes, there are parties, the non-reality reality shows like Tots and Tiaras, Dancing Moms, and even one about people who throw 25k princess parties is too much. The constant commercialization of princess, the fact that grown women now throw princess parties for themselves, princess attitudes etc is not exactly a healthy message. That is different than having girlie fun. We could go on all day about the pros and cons of a number of the Disney characters, but this commercial push is a little dubious.

 

[Litcrit]

Shrek countermands the Disney princess stuff pretty well.

 

[ringil]

I think you have an interesting point. Some of the princess stories are better than others for sure. I actually heard a Psychologist talk about Cinderella and mentioned that she was a role model because she kept her dignity in spite of the abuse from her family. Bell in Beauty and the Beast learned or shows that friendship and love should be based on common interests or values than looks. Some though do have terrible messages though such as Jasmine and the Little Mermaid and Snow White. I think the OP was objecting to the excessive push of princess stuff. It is all over clothes, there are parties, the non-reality reality shows like Tots and Tiaras, Dancing Moms, and even one about people who throw 25k princess parties is too much. The constant commercialization of princess, the fact that grown women now throw princess parties for themselves, princess attitudes etc is not exactly a healthy message. That is different than having girlie fun. We could go on all day about the pros and cons of a number of the Disney characters, but this commercial push is a little dubious.

Yes, that’s it.

My concern is about the commercialization and the bombardment with materialism- not about Disney. Disney stories have plusses and minuses but in the whole scheme of things they are just small beans.

I see the whole “tiaras, sparkle, and such” when taken too far- as the “kindergarten” for the sexualization that the media will feed little girls later. This is the message that you need to be “seen” and admired, which I don’t think is healthy for the psyche.

I also believe that this can breed a learned helplessness and disempowerment.

 

[EasterJoy]

I think that I don’t need a lecture on how to parent children. We have too many inactive children that would do better going outside and playing sports even at the rec level than sitting in front of the TV and watching videos, cartoons and commercials that promote this stuff as well as a bunch of other things. That is my point about sports and having active children doing things instead of watching disney and dreaming of them. In reference to sports, the biggest danger is too many activities with too many kids and all these things collide. It is being in not just one sport but 2-3 then you pile that with a lesson in dance or karate and then there is boy/girl scouts on top of it. BTW, I have never missed a mass do to sports or anything else, even if away in a tournament.

I wrote “I have seen” and “you have seen”…that is, I addressed you as a fellow parent with a child in youth sports. I thought it obvious that I was asking for you to concur that there are things to watch out for in youth sports, too. Where did you get the idea that I was lecturing you? Some families choose to miss Sunday Mass for sports. If you don’t think so, ask the kids. They aren’t shy about saying so.

I’m glad you haven’t run into families who have let a single sport take over their lives, but it does exist out there. Parents new to youth sports deserve to be told that it doesn’t have to be that way, because there are places where the pressure to do that are enormous. If you have never seen a coach who was hag-ridden by the parents of his or her players or players who makes themselves into capital pains for the rest of their team, you are also more fortunate than you know. It is not inevitable, but boy is it more prevalent than it ought to be, particularly in places where the kids are headed to very large high schools where competition for the positions on the varsity rosters is fierce.

That is not to say that the “glamour sports” like figure skating, dance, and gymnastics aren’t worse. I have no idea about that, because I have no kids in those sports. The sparkly pink girls I know happen to have been in volleyball, basketball, and softball. Even the college softball players, who are tough as nails, will sometimes all wear matching ponytail bows for their games. IOW (and I think you’ll agree with this, I’m not trying to “lecture” you but put this out for general consumption), this is not a generation who makes the choice between fiercely competitive sports and overtly feminine dress into an either/or proposition, let’s just say that. Those days are long gone, I think, and good riddance to them.

 

[robwar]

I wrote “I have seen” and “you have seen”…that is, I addressed you as a fellow parent with a child in youth sports. I thought it obvious that I was asking for you to concur that there are things to watch out for in youth sports, too. Where did you get the idea that I was lecturing you? Some families choose to miss Sunday Mass for sports. If you don’t think so, ask the kids. They aren’t shy about saying so.

I’m glad you haven’t run into families who have let a single sport take over their lives, but it does exist out there. Parents new to youth sports deserve to be told that it doesn’t have to be that way, because there are places where the pressure to do that are enormous. If you have never seen a coach who was hag-ridden by the parents of his or her players or players who makes themselves into capital pains for the rest of their team, you are also more fortunate than you know. It is not inevitable, but boy is it more prevalent than it ought to be, particularly in places where the kids are headed to very large high schools where competition for the positions on the varsity rosters is fierce.

That is not to say that the “glamour sports” like figure skating, dance, and gymnastics aren’t worse. I have no idea about that, because I have no kids in those sports. The sparkly pink girls I know happen to have been in volleyball, basketball, and softball. Even the college softball players, who are tough as nails, will sometimes all wear matching ponytail bows for their games. IOW (and I think you’ll agree with this, I’m not trying to “lecture” you but put this out for general consumption), this is not a generation who makes the choice between fiercely competitive sports and overtly feminine dress into an either/or proposition, let’s just say that. Those days are long gone, I think, and good riddance to them.

peace. I think we could start a thread about excessive sports or when it is excessive because the topic of this thread is the excessive commercialization of princess stuff.
I brought up sports because an activity is healthier than buying into excessive commercialization. My daughter does travel soccer which is intense and demands time which is why we limit it to just that and not other things. Skating, gymnastic etc can be just as demanding and intense (this includes competitive dance). I have seen families have more than one kid in competitive sports which probably comes across as that sport dominating family life. I realize people make choices not to go to church (not just Catholic) but that isn’t us and I usually don’t go around a poll fellow families to know. I think that I’ll start a thread about youth sports and we can continue the conversation there.
peace again.