Princess Stuff

[Julia_Mae]

I have a three-and-a-half year old daughter, and another sex-undetermined child on the way.

Anyway, I can’t stand all this “Princess” stuff being targeted at little girls. It’s everywhere. I believe it is disempowering and is the first step to setting them up for the media onslaught that for girls, “appearance is everything”.

Anyone else have an opinion on this?

u r very smart

not even kidding

 

[Kit15]

I’m with EasterJoy with this. I remember at that age I did not define “pretty” the same we adults do. It was something holistic. Something that involved the whole person. Princesses were not good because they were beautiful. They were beautiful because they were good. EJ pointed out many antagonists that were obsessed with looks from the wicked queen to Cruella De Vil to Mother Goethel.

I also agree that it’s kinda on the child. I happened to be a very tomboyish child. But I loved some pink things too. One year I was a ballerina for Halloween. The next I would be a Power Ranger…the Red Ranger is particular. Sure the red ranger was male but red was my favorite color at the time (a very ligitamate reason for a child). But I had sisters that were real girly girls.

I have a daughter. I don’t know why but this is one thing I’m not nervous about at all. I think a love of poofy pink things can be directed towards the positive. It’s not necessarily something to run away from.

 

[Marie1234]

Let her watch movies where the “princesses” are strong, smart, and well rounded.
Mulan
Pocahontas
Beauty and the Beast
The Wizard of Oz (even though Dorthy isn’t a princess)…

 

[ringil]

See, when I complain about all of the princess stuff, I am not even thinking about Disney. I don’t mind the Disney princesses and their respective stories. I was thinking more along the lines of the ‘Princess’ and ‘Diva’ and ‘Brat’ decorations that are all over the place.

Yes, I am not referring to the Disney stuff so much. I am referring to the relatively new phenomena as you described so well above. It is a presentation of materialism and flashiness.

It’s about “slash and sparkle” but little substance. This Princess none sense, I see, as the training ground for the sexualization that comes later.

BTW: I like the sound of the decoration of your child’s room.

BTW my three and-a-half year-old does have one princess dress though she wears “fairy wings” along with the dress as a combo. I feel that the “fairy” business is somewhat related to the princess business.

I am a dad if that is of any importance in how folks are taking my post.

 

[EasterJoy]

Yes, I am not referring to the Disney stuff so much. I am referring to the relatively new phenomena as you described so well above. It is a presentation of materialism and flashiness.

It’s about “slash and sparkle” but little substance. This Princess none sense, I see, as the training ground for the sexualization that comes later.

BTW: I like the sound of the decoration of your child’s room.

BTW my three and-a-half year-old does have one princess dress though she wears “fairy wings” along with the dress as a combo. I feel that the “fairy” business is somewhat related to the princess business.

I am a dad if that is of any importance in how folks are taking my post.

I see what you mean. You mean that no amount of money would make you want your daughter to grow up to imitate Paris Hilton. It isn’t the fashions that creep you out, per se, but the desire to make “being sexy” or “being fabulous” into something like a job. In that case, I think the solution, if she has any interest in “princess” as a career choice is to let her in on how royalty works in real life. That’s what I meant by noblesse oblige.

IOW, if she wants to be a princess who simply tries on clothes and jewelry all day, you can ask her: "But what do you do? Rich girls sometimes let themselves be self-centered like that, but real princesses do things…like the Queen of England. When she was a princess, before she became the Queen, she drove a truck to help out with the war. She helped her dad, the King, lead the people to do what it took to save their country from invaders. After that, she got up in her nice clothes to go to dinners and raise money for hospitals and things, but otherwise, she wears normal clothes. She doesn’t just have nice manners; she is expected to have nicer manners than everyone else. Queen Elizabeth is a very popular queen, and the people love her, but not because of her clothes. It is because she learned from her father, the King, how to be a good person and to put what her people need before what she wants.

Honey, when it comes to* real* princesses, the people don’t like the ones who just want to wear nice clothes or who want other people to wait on them. They want royals who do good things, who lead other people to do good things. That’s what people expect of you, when you have lots of blessings in this life. The one who is given much can wear nice clothes for nice occasions, sure, but clothes or no clothes they are expected to do something good with their blessings. If there is not a nice person on the inside who lives how special she is, the nice clothes on the outside just make people mad at you. You’re special on the inside…you need to live special, not just look special." And let’s face it: She can hardly learn that one too young!

 

[Christine85]

Funnily I remember all that when I was young but it never really appealed to me, at that age I sensed it to be superficial.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

“Princess” these days seems to translate to “Future Diva,” or that other word that rhymes with “witch.”

Spoiled brat is another way to put it. I would definitely have a problem if I had a girl and she wanted to go into that mode of dress, acting, etc.

But I was a tomboy myself, never did the girly-girl stuff, made mud pies and ripped the knees out of all my play pants.



Give her a nice bejeweled sword and tell her to be a Warrior Princess. Kick all the boy’s rear ends.

 

[ringil]

Funnily I remember all that when I was young but it never really appealed to me, at that age I sensed it to be superficial.

You must have been a wise child then, because most kids don’t have that kind of insight, especially as little kids.

 

[EasterJoy]

You must have been a wise child then, because most kids don’t have that kind of insight, especially as little kids.

I think noblesse oblige is naturally very appealling to kids, though. Some like the sparkle, some don’t, but the ones who’ve had a good childhood very often want to be an extraordinarily good force in the world, someone who is worthy of praise. The innocent still have their sense of how special God made them, and they have it in their heart to be something great. It takes temptation for the devil to turn that into something paltry and shallow, and a lot of knocks from the world to turn away from putting their necks out to do something special. The trick before you is to encourage her to believe God has a special plan for her without letting her think this gives her a reason to be puffed up about herself.

 

[LucyLight]

In children’s classic literature beauty =good, ugly=bad. Children are not so naive to believe that unattractive people are bad and attractive people are good in real life. There will be people in their life who don’t fit that mold. Catholics unlike puritans see holiness in beauty. Look at our Churches, our music, our art. When we experience beauty it helps us to ponder the devine. So in literature it makes sense that the hero/heroine would be beautiful to help us ponder their inner beauty.

 

[EasterJoy]

Children are not so naive to believe that unattractive people are bad and attractive people are good in real life.

Actually, all other things being equal, little kids tend to trust glamorous-looking people more than people that seem odd-looking to them. Little girls, in particular, seem to gravitate to the prettiest high school girls. Little guys look up to men who seem strong and athletic. They have to learn that looks can be deceiving.

 

[amandamary]

I think it all depends on how you handle it. My niece is VERY into the princess costumes, decorations, etc. at 3. I think the thing that takes it over the edge for me is that she calls herself a princess and says we have to listen to her. I think the materialism is also very disturbing…maybe this is normal for a 3 year old, I’m not sure…but she always says things like, “Do you like my pretty dress?” “Don’t I look pretty with my hairbow?” “I’m a pretty, pretty princess!” “Look at my pretty ring, shoes, etc.”

Then, the grandmother says, “Don’t you like her pretty dress, Aunt Mary?” “Don’t you think she looks cute in her bow?” What am I supposed to say? Again, maybe normal all around but not my vision of a humble child.

 

[ringil]

I think it all depends on how you handle it. My niece is VERY into the princess costumes, decorations, etc. at 3. I think the thing that takes it over the edge for me is that she calls herself a princess and says we have to listen to her. I think the materialism is also very disturbing…maybe this is normal for a 3 year old, I’m not sure…but she always says things like, “Do you like my pretty dress?” “Don’t I look pretty with my hairbow?” “I’m a pretty, pretty princess!” “Look at my pretty ring, shoes, etc.”

Then, the grandmother says, “Don’t you like her pretty dress, Aunt Mary?” “Don’t you think she looks cute in her bow?” What am I supposed to say? Again, maybe normal all around but not my vision of a humble child.

I totally agree. Parents need to talk more about how, smart, kind, loving, brace, and gentle their girls are. And, yes, tell them they are pretty and/or beautiful as well.

 

[hannajomar]

I think princess stuff can be cute for small girls. It seems wierd when young women decorate their college dorms that way, though.

I agree. And this can extend past college. When I got married, some people tried to steer me towards veils with tiaras. When I tried those on, I felt like I was playing dress-up and pretending to be a princess. I wanted to tell those people, “I’m going to be a wife, not Queen of England.”

 

[ShanaA1984]

I agree. And this can extend past college. When I got married, some people tried to steer me towards veils with tiaras. When I tried those on, I felt like I was playing dress-up and pretending to be a princess. I wanted to tell those people, “I’m going to be a wife, not Queen of England.”

I find this funny because when I get married I want a veil with a tiara . I dress in jeans and t-shirts everyday and would not be caught dead in a dress normally but my wedding day is the one day that I want to dress like a princess. Oh and I plan on riding one of my horses to up to the church in my wedding dress.

 

[Sillara]

We have half a dozen daughters, from 13 down to 2. They like princesses a lot.

They are not best pleased, though, with, say Belle or Jasmine.

Jasmine, they say, complains about being a princess and is quite spoilt.

Belle, they point out, breaks her word to the Beast, which sort of flies in the face of not only the original story, but also with the way that Belle is talked about in the movie.

Sleeping Beauty, with her devotion to duty and doing what she should despite breaking her heart over it, they like.

It has far more to do with what we talk to them about than about the odd Princess movie they watch.

 

[EasterJoy]

I agree. And this can extend past college. When I got married, some people tried to steer me towards veils with tiaras. When I tried those on, I felt like I was playing dress-up and pretending to be a princess. I wanted to tell those people, “I’m going to be a wife, not Queen of England.”

The Queen of England is actually a sensible woman, and the Greek Orthodox have the crowning of the bride and groom as part of their wedding ceremony–reminding them they are now the King and Queen of their home.

I agree with those who note that it is not the sense of being a noble person that is the problem so much as the mistaken impression that nobility requires vanity.

I think it all depends on how you handle it. My niece is VERY into the princess costumes, decorations, etc. at 3. I think the thing that takes it over the edge for me is that she calls herself a princess and says we have to listen to her. I think the materialism is also very disturbing…maybe this is normal for a 3 year old, I’m not sure…but she always says things like, “Do you like my pretty dress?” “Don’t I look pretty with my hairbow?” “I’m a pretty, pretty princess!” “Look at my pretty ring, shoes, etc.”

Then, the grandmother says, “Don’t you like her pretty dress, Aunt Mary?” “Don’t you think she looks cute in her bow?” What am I supposed to say? Again, maybe normal all around but not my vision of a humble child.

Oh, yes, you are a pretty princess…but are you a good princess? Oh, you don’t want to be a pretty princess who isn’t even more good than you are beautiful! There is nothing worse than a bad princess!! Little girls need to be able to look up to princesses, so princesses must be especially good! But you will be a very good and kind princess, won’t you? You need to make sure no one in the kingdom forgets to be honest and kind to each other and to take care of the people who need help, and that no one is afraid to talk to you because you are so good to everyone and that no one dares to be a bully anyone else around you. That is the kind of princess to be…"

Feeling pretty feels good to little kids, but that beauty of being a kind and good person also feels very good to them. They like to feel beautiful on the inside as well as outside, and to think that this is who they are. It is also a more secure kind of beauty, because it doesn’t need to compete.

I think this is why C.S. Lewis gave Narnia two queens and two kings. At their best, they were siblings who were totally of one mind, and not in competition with each other. When they fell to the old traps that people fall into, they got into trouble over it.

 

[LucyLight]

Actually, all other things being equal, little kids tend to trust glamorous-looking people more than people that seem odd-looking to them. Little girls, in particular, seem to gravitate to the prettiest high school girls. Little guys look up to men who seem strong and athletic. They have to learn that looks can be deceiving.

This would happen with or without fairytales.Children understand beauty in the context of a fairytale. They know that their unattractive aunt isnt a bad person based on her looks. This is the kind of stuff that adults worry about but in my humble opinion they shouldn’t.

In children’s classic literature (not modern) the good characters are very clearly good and the evil characters are clearly evil. There are exceptions like the white witch in Narnia, but there are clues about her appearance that give away her inner self like her unnatural skin color and height.

I shared your opinion before I read *A Landscape with Dragon The Battle for Your Child’s Mind *by Michael O’Brien (Ignatius press). ignatius.com/Products/LWD-P/a-landscape-with-dragons.aspx

He writes about how children’s literature is moving away from a Christian world view and paganism and relativism has now crept in.

Btw, he tears up Disney’s the Little Mermaid. He writes this about Ariel,

"Charming as she is, she is really a selfish brat whose only abiding impulse is a shallow romantic passion. In the original Anderson tale, the little mermaid faces some difficult moral decisions and decides for the good, choosing in the end to sacrafice her own desires so that the prince will remain happily married to his human bride. As a result of her self-denial, she is taken up into the sky amoung the children of the air, the benign spirits who do good in the world."

So IMHO princess stories are a good thing but find the original story and try to avoid the Disney version.

 

[DarkLight]

One of my favorite stories growing up was a book called “the paper bag princess.” It was about a princess who was about to be married to a prince. Then a dragon burns down her home and she has to go out and find the dragon on her own with nothing but a paper bag on. She meets her prince along the way and he rejects her because “she doesn’t look like a pretty princess.”

It ends with her beating the dragon and going back to rule the kingdom without the prince.

 

[Marie1234]

In children’s classic literature beauty =good, ugly=bad. Children are not so naive to believe that unattractive people are bad and attractive people are good in real life. There will be people in their life who don’t fit that mold. Catholics unlike puritans see holiness in beauty. Look at our Churches, our music, our art. When we experience beauty it helps us to ponder the devine. So in literature it makes sense that the hero/heroine would be beautiful to help us ponder their inner beauty.

I agree with you. I wouldn’t see any harm in letting my kids watch princess movies. Beauty is a good thing, and kids know that goodness is not only associated with beauty. But I would also be sure to teach them to be smart and strong as well. I don’t think it’s healthy for a young girl too get too obsessed with the whole “fairytale” thing, but it can be good for the imagination. They’ll learn the harshness of the world soon enough, why not let them enjoy the fun and imaginative world of childhood as long as they can?

I would also in addition to princess movies, teach my kids about nature and the natural world as well. That way, they will have well developed imaginations as well as a good sense of the beauty of reality.