I am a convert to the Catholic faith because of Humanae Vitae rather than in spite of it, so I’ll share a bit.
I grew up in a Protestant family where the norm was that some form of artificial birth control was expected to be used (a marriage prep question would be “what kind?”). I absolutely never questioned the legitimacy of using contraception in marriage. But then I started getting these pulls toward the Church. And I was married to a Catholic who was perfectly fine with my use of contraception (in fact, he got rather angry when I told him I wasn’t going to do so any more and why, but I’m getting ahead of the story).
So, I said “If I could just understand this teaching, I would obey it”. I was unwilling to convert until I was willing to follow the teaching because I didn’t think it was appropriate to call myself Catholic if I were still holding out against a teaching of the Church. Now, honestly, I did not think it could be understood. Now those pulls toward the Church got me started praying the Rosary on a daily basis at the beginning of May. At first, I was offering it for control of my tongue because I’d fallen into a rather bad habit of using the same language that the truck drivers did while I had been working receiving. After two weeks, I had gained that control (to the point that I wasn’t even thinking the words in situations that would have previously gotten a streak of 70% swear words). So, I said to myself, “OK, I’ll pray for understanding of that teaching” … I still thought it was impossible to understand, but I felt it was important to consent to all Church teaching before converting instead of just making a sham of it by still being, in my heart, Protestant.
Well, three days of this went by, and I’m praying the Rosary again and I’m alone in the house when I hear a Voice speak to me. The voice says “Obey.” Like an obstinate child, I met the Voice with “but I want to understand!” and the Voice said “I want obedience.” That’s when I realized Who had been speaking and I was flat on the floor.
The funny thing was, shortly after this, we got an issue of a magazine that we were subscribing to which I forget the name of (this was 13 years ago, after all) which would dedicate each issue to a particular topic. And, you guessed it–the topic of that issue was contraception. So I got the understanding I was praying for after all.
In the end, the virtue is obedience. Obey, but pray for understanding.
And yes, things didn’t turn out as I had hoped … my husband was very angry when I told him I was no longer going to contracept as I guess it had been an “easy out” for him as well to have a contracepting Protestant wife and still consider himself a good Catholic. But I tried that dodge too “OK, God, I’ll obey after I convince him that it’s the way to go …” when I tried that, I got a “Who do you think you’re trying to fool?” and that was that.
Yes, this is private revelation and I did discuss it with a priest prior to RCIA. But the message is one that no one can argue against, and I share it because I was once in that position of “I don’t understand this teaching, it seems cruel, it’s incomprehensible, and there are just some times when it’s wrong”. And now I know better.
Christ is more sensible than not, after all.