Pro and Cons of Priests being married

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Could someone please explain the pro and cons of allowing priests to be married, or should I say newly ordained priests? It’s my understanding that St. Peter and a few other disciples were in fact married. Also, St. Paul instructs in his letter to the Thessolonians (I believe?) that all bishops should be married and manage their own family. And it wasnt until the Council of Elvira? was this rule establised, then strengthened during the Council of Trent. And of course, as we all know, the Eastern Orthodox church allows priests to be married.

Anyway, please let me know what you guys think. Thanks!
 
I have heard people say that one of the cons of priests getting married is that having a family would take too much time away from their duties as priest. Priests have a very hectic schedule and trying to balance time between starting a family and running the Church might be too much. Any thoughts on this?

Pax Vobiscum

-Stephen
 
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Life4Christ:
Could someone please explain the pro and cons of allowing priests to be married, or should I say newly ordained priests? It’s my understanding that St. Peter and a few other disciples were in fact married. Also, St. Paul instructs in his letter to the Thessolonians (I believe?) that all bishops should be married and manage their own family. And it wasnt until the Council of Elvira? was this rule establised, then strengthened during the Council of Trent. And of course, as we all know, the Eastern Orthodox church allows priests to be married.

Anyway, please let me know what you guys think. Thanks!
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First, some clarifications. St. Paul did not instruct that all bishops should be married and manage their own family. He was himself an unmarried celebate bishop! He was giving instruction regarding choosing a bishop who was married. That is not the same as saying that all bishops should be married men!!

Second, the Eastern Orthodox (and the Eastern Catholic Rites) ordain married men to the priesthood. However, once they are ordained, they cannot marry. If a single man is ordained, he cannot marry and if a married man is ordained, he cannot marry again if his wife dies. Also, they do not ordain married men to the episcopate, only to the priesthood and the diaconate.

The Latin Rite of the Catholic Church ordains married men to the diaconate but the rules are the same as for the ordination of married men to the priesthood in the Eastern Rites. Single men cannot marry once they are ordained nor can married men re-marry if their wife dies after they have been ordained.

Now. The law requiring the celebate state for the priesthood is just that, a law. It is considered to be a gift to the Church because, as St. Paul states, God calls people to the celebate state. He also states that this state is better for serving the Church because one can dedicate himself fully to that service. Matrimony is a holy state that entails its own obligations of duty that cannot be ignored. Therefore, a man would have to divide his duty between those of the ordained priesthood and husband.

Many people think that allowing married men to be priest would resolve the “priest crisis” the Church is currently undergoing. I disagree. I have read many articles detailing how men have been turned away from seminaries for being too traditional and orthodox. It also appears to be true that this situation is getting better. However, image the news stories that would we would be seeing the first time a priest’s son or daughter gets caught drunk at some party. Think it won’t happen???
 
Valid point…but how can St. Paul’s instructions in 1 Timothy:3 be understood?

The saying is sure: If any one aspires to the office of bishop, he desires a noble task. 2 Now a bishop must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, sensible, dignified, hospitable, an apt teacher, 3 no drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, and no lover of money. 4 He must manage his own household well, keeping his children submissive and respectful in every way; 5 for if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how can he care for God’s church? 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may be puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil; 7 moreover he must be well thought of by outsiders, or he may fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

Again, not an argument, just trying to figure out how can St. Paul’s instructions to the Timothy be conveyed in modern times. And why would the idea of a priest or bishop beign married back then, change in our present society (I know times are different)? Are deacons not ordained to a life of service to the bishop and the church, yet also allowed to raise a family (I know priests and deacons have different duties)?

Help me out here. Thanks
 
The bishop is not to have been married more than once. It’s an upper-limit, not a lower limit. If he has children, he better be able to keep them in line.

How can we be sure that’s what Paul meant? He was a bishop without a wife and without kids.
 
Then I guess my question should be aimed more toward…

How did the early Church regard St Paul’s instructions (limits) toward the priesthood prior to taking vows of celibacy?
 
How did the early Church regard St Paul’s instructions (limits) toward the priesthood prior to taking vows of celibacy?
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That seems to vary depending on where you look. Vows of celibacy became the norm relatively early in the West, and much later if not at all in the East. As for Bishops being married, I honestly don’t have any information on that, though one can assume that in the West it died out at least at the same time as married priests, though it’s likely it was much earlier. The East I can’t say for certain, since they still have regular married priests.
 
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Life4Christ:
Then I guess my question should be aimed more toward…

How did the early Church regard St Paul’s instructions (limits) toward the priesthood prior to taking vows of celibacy?
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You have to remember tha when the Church first started out, it was tough to find someone qualified and old enough to be a bishop or priest who wasn’t already married, since pratically all men in that culture got married.
 
Matthew 12:19,

Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Whoever can accept this ought to accept it.

Jeremiah 16:1-4

This message came to me from the Lord: Do not marry any woman; you shall not have sons or daughters in this place, for thus says the Lord concerning the sons and daughters who will be born in this place, the mothers who will give them birth, the fathers who will beget them in this land: Of deadly disease they shall die. Unlamented and unburied they will lie like dung on the ground. Sword and famine will make an end of them, and thier corpses will become food for the birds of the sky and the beasts of the field.

1 Corinthians 7:8

Now to the unmarried and to the widows I say: it is a good thing for them to remain as they are, as I do, but if they cannot exercise self-control they should marry, for it is better to marry than to be on fire.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35

I should like you to be free of anxieties. An unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But a married man is anxious about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and he is divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is anxious about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy in both body and spirit. A married woman on the other hand, is anxious about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

Also, please read: 2 Tim 2:3-4
** 1 Tim 5:9-12**
 
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Life4Christ:
Valid point…but how can St. Paul’s instructions in 1 Timothy:3 be understood?

The saying is sure: If any one aspires to the office of bishop, he desires a noble task. 2 Now a bishop must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, sensible, dignified, hospitable, an apt teacher, 3 no drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, and no lover of money. 4 He must manage his own household well, keeping his children submissive and respectful in every way; 5 for if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how can he care for God’s church? 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may be puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil; 7 moreover he must be well thought of by outsiders, or he may fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
. . .
Help me out here. Thanks
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Since Paul was a bishop, and not married, doesn’t that close any argument that bishops MUST be married?

Clearly, Paul is giving guidelines for those who are or have been married. Paul advocates the unmarried state as superior to marriage (marriage is good, “to be as I am” is “better”). The third canon of the Council of Nicea (A.D. 326) clearly refers to celibate clergy, so the Council of Elvira is merely affirming what is already expected practice.

I don’t buy the “job description” argument for celibacy. Jesus tells us himself the value of celibacy: “eunuchs for the Kingdom” (Mt. 19:12). Celibacy points to the resurrection where we neither marry nor are given in marriage (Lk. 22:30 et al.). The Church refers to celibacy as an “evangelical counsel” – that is, an advisement to live in a way that preaches the Gospel by a particular way of life. The “evangelical counsels” (poverty, celibacy, particular obedience) are taught by Christ himself as extraordinary, not binding upon all, but to be embraced in response to a vocation, or call from God, to live profoundly the call to Christian perfection.
 
No, that doesnt close any arguments. Wasn’t Peter married at one time?
 
I will not dwell on whether or not it was OK in the early Church due to totally different environments. The practice was stopped about 1000 AD, for what I’ve learned, due to clergy wanting to will the parish to children, etc. As to present times we have to understand that a priest doesn’t make that much money. In my state the salary for priests is only about $14,000 a year. Kind of hard to raise a family on that kind of money.
 
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Life4Christ:
Valid point…but how can St. Paul’s instructions in 1 Timothy:3 be understood?
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Like this:
The saying is sure: If any one aspires to the office of bishop, he desires a noble task. 2 Now a bishop must be above reproach, the husband of ONLY one wife (that is, not divorced and re-married)
 
Well, if priests are married, parishioners had better be prepared to increase their salary sufficient to support a family and buy a home.
 
The ratio to priest to parishiner in a Catholic Church is much greater than that of a Non-Catholic Parish. So if priests were allowed to be married not only would the pay increase but the number of priest’s needed would at least double. I don’t know too many Active Catholic’s who are willing to pay for this. It’s usually the non practicing Catholic or even Non Catholic who are advocating the marriage of priest.
 
Let’s face reality.

The priest is married to the Church, as he should be. He is on call at all hours. He spends regular hours every day of the week celebrating Mass, sometimes more than once. He hears confessions on regular times and upon appointments. He counsels people, he teaches, he is an administrator. He responds to complaints and compliments, and in all of that he needs time for prayer, reflection, retreat, and time to focus on the Lord all by himself.

Speaking as a woman, the reality is that I would not want to be married to the priest. If I were the wife of one man, I want to be first in his life, not last on the list behind everyone else in the Church. I would need my provider, I would need a shoulder to cry on when I get home from work, and if that work is the parish, then I would need my husband to spend time being my husband.

Jesus said that we cannot serve two masters, and indeed, marriage is a “master” because it is a covenant with God. Holy Orders is a covenant with God. How can we force one human being to choose between his God and his wife?

Simple…we don’t give him that choice because it would tear him apart.

The priesthood is not a career…it is a way of life. Priests die to the world in favor of service to God, wheras a husband and wife die to others in order to be of service to each other in cooperation with God.

The fruit of the marriage between the Church and the priest is the growing spirit of the individual parishes, the children brought up properly in the sacraments, etc.

The Church is the wife of the priest, and in the sacrament of Holy Orders we see the marriage ceremony before our eyes and understand that the new priest is married to US, the laity. He is our spiritual father, he is our earthly shepherd and in order for him to fulfill his vows, he needs both our support and prayers (we his spiritual family) and to NOT have the complication of a wife.

Marriages in which the wife comes second to the job don’t last. Usually the person who gives his life to his career is called a “workaholic”. That’s why the priesthood is not just a job. It’s not a 8-5 deal. It is a calling and a serious committment.

I have a friend who is a pastor for a Protestant denimination, and says he was called. However, although he now does teh occasional wedding and funeral, he is no longer in active ministry nor is he the pastor of any church. He complained about the calls at all hours and having to be at the service of others constantly. He became tired of it and decided to pick and choose when he would serve the Lord.

So is he “Called” or is it the man who gave his vows to God alone and who serves for life, like it or not?

Marriage and Holy Orders are similar sacraments with the same basic principal.

God bless our Priests and leave them alone! Believe it or not, they are happy in their celibacy, even when it is difficult!
 
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Life4Christ:
No, that doesnt close any arguments. Wasn’t Peter married at one time?
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Life4Christ,

The fact that Paul wasn’t married should close the argument that priests and bishops must be married. It doesn’t say anything about the argument that they can be married.

Yes, Peter’s mother-in-law is mentioned in the Gospels (Matthew 8:15). His wife, on the other hand, is not mentioned at all. The context is that Jesus came to Peter’s house where his mother-in-law was sick. He healed her, and she got up and “waited on hom.” Peter’s wife is conspicuously absent here. Arguments from silence are always shaky at best, but I would at least consider the possibility that Peter was a widower when Jesus called him.
  • Liberian
 
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Liberian:
Life4Christ,

The fact that Paul wasn’t married should close the argument that priests and bishops must be married. It doesn’t say anything about the argument that they can be married.

Yes, Peter’s mother-in-law is mentioned in the Gospels (Matthew 8:15). His wife, on the other hand, is not mentioned at all. The context is that Jesus came to Peter’s house where his mother-in-law was sick. He healed her, and she got up and “waited on hom.” Peter’s wife is conspicuously absent here. Arguments from silence are always shaky at best, but I would at least consider the possibility that Peter was a widower when Jesus called him.
  • Liberian
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Folks,

I stand corrected on one point here: I Cor 9:5 mentions Peter specifically, and other apostles generically, as being married.
  • Liberian
 
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JCPhoenix:
Let’s face reality.

The priest is married to the Church, as he should be. He is on call at all hours. He spends regular hours every day of the week celebrating Mass, sometimes more than once. He hears confessions on regular times and upon appointments. He counsels people, he teaches, he is an administrator. He responds to complaints and compliments, and in all of that he needs time for prayer, reflection, retreat, and time to focus on the Lord all by himself.

Speaking as a woman, the reality is that I would not want to be married to the priest. If I were the wife of one man, I want to be first in his life, not last on the list behind everyone else in the Church. I would need my provider, I would need a shoulder to cry on when I get home from work, and if that work is the parish, then I would need my husband to spend time being my husband.

Jesus said that we cannot serve two masters, and indeed, marriage is a “master” because it is a covenant with God. Holy Orders is a covenant with God. How can we force one human being to choose between his God and his wife?

Simple…we don’t give him that choice because it would tear him apart.

The priesthood is not a career…it is a way of life. Priests die to the world in favor of service to God, wheras a husband and wife die to others in order to be of service to each other in cooperation with God.

The fruit of the marriage between the Church and the priest is the growing spirit of the individual parishes, the children brought up properly in the sacraments, etc.

The Church is the wife of the priest, and in the sacrament of Holy Orders we see the marriage ceremony before our eyes and understand that the new priest is married to US, the laity. He is our spiritual father, he is our earthly shepherd and in order for him to fulfill his vows, he needs both our support and prayers (we his spiritual family) and to NOT have the complication of a wife.

Marriages in which the wife comes second to the job don’t last. Usually the person who gives his life to his career is called a “workaholic”. That’s why the priesthood is not just a job. It’s not a 8-5 deal. It is a calling and a serious committment.

I have a friend who is a pastor for a Protestant denimination, and says he was called. However, although he now does teh occasional wedding and funeral, he is no longer in active ministry nor is he the pastor of any church. He complained about the calls at all hours and having to be at the service of others constantly. He became tired of it and decided to pick and choose when he would serve the Lord.

So is he “Called” or is it the man who gave his vows to God alone and who serves for life, like it or not?

Marriage and Holy Orders are similar sacraments with the same basic principal.

God bless our Priests and leave them alone! Believe it or not, they are happy in their celibacy, even when it is difficult!
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A very good post, JC. I agree one hundred per cent. My brother in law is a Nazarene minister, married with a family, in a very small church in Indiana. He has worked himself to the point of bad health trying to raise his family, and be a minister at the same time. He almost quit, a few times. We have enough problems in the church now without have divorced priests, priests that run off with each other, priests wives that cheat on them, and all the other troubles of a secular society. The benefits of married priests are greatly overdone.
 
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