Pro-Choice Friend and Baby Shower

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aggiecatholic85

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I am pregnant with my first child, and a friend of mine wishes to throw me a baby shower. While she is an extremely kind and generous individual, and considers me a close friend, I have a big problem with her political affiliation. She is heavily pro-choice, participates in things like Planned Parenthood escorting, votes for pro-choice issues, etc. and in the recent political battles, has become more vocal about her political affiliation (mostly through Facebook, posts, etc.). I, on the other hand, am a pro-lifer and often contradict her public statements with my own evidence, as well as pointing out that she calls my unborn baby a “person” when she doesn’t believe this to be true (I asked for “consistency of belief” on her part, i.e. call it a fetus if you want, don’t be a hypocrite and call it a person).

Like I mentioned, she is throwing me a baby shower and this makes absolutely no sense to me, given that (by her views) she is having a celebration for a fetus that has no rights and can be aborted should I simply desire it. Am I being too stringent in my pro-life attitudes? A part of me just wants to cut all ties with her and ask her not to throw the baby shower, but I know this would be counter-productive to setting a Christ-like example and (perhaps one day) winning her over by example.
 
I’m pro life too. Very much so. Some of best friends (two in particular) are agnostic and both are very pro-choice, and active in the cause.

I’ve had dinner with them, been in their home, etc, etc. If I get married, they will be involved in the wedding. If I have a baby, your darn right I would invite them.

Of COURSE you should go. Who knows? You might convince her!

If we avoided everyone who disagreed with us, it would get very lonely.
 
Rascalking said:
I’m pro life too. Very much so. Some of best friends (two in particular) are agnostic and both are very pro-choice, and active in the cause.

I’ve had dinner with them, been in their home, etc, etc. If I get married, they will be involved in the wedding. If I have a baby, your darn right I would invite them.

Of COURSE you should go. Who knows? You might convince her!

If we avoided everyone who disagreed with us, it would get very lonely.
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Amen to all this!

Let your light so shine before men that they see your good works and glorify God in heaven.

Be salt and light to this woman. Be there, someday whatever pain and anger that has pushed her into the pro abortion area will come to light, and she will need your friendship!
 
How did you two become friends to begin with? What is the tenor of the debates that you have with her? Sometimes people who are wrong come around. I’m not sure if cutting people out of your life who don’t agree with you is the way to go. I kind of doubt it. Sometimes we do outgrow friendships and it’s time to move on though, and you probably know where you are at with this woman.
 
If she asks for a list of people to invite, be sure to include all your pro life friends. It could be interesting :rolleyes:
 
I don’t know… you’re right to be bothered by this.

There’s a verse somewhere in the bible that popped out the other day, not to get rid of old friends, because they’re like wine and only good after time (maybe Sirach or Daniel:confused:).

Jesus was kind to all of these terrible people. Saul/Paul was a murderer, far worse than your friend. I say you should keep the friendship. Maybe the miracle of life will change her, maybe not. Even if not, then you can still try and subtly change her. 😉
 
Frankly I think you are blessed to have a friend who is able to BE a friend even though holding an opposing viewpoint. I certainly gives you an opportunity to continue to witness to her.

My advise is to accept her gift to you. Go and enjoy. Do not make a political issue of this. For one thing the fact of the shower, by it’s very nature encourages the belief that this is life in your womb. This could be very helpful in changing your friend.

Do you have an ultrasound picture of the baby? If you do, take it with you to show around.
Also, I don’t know if you have a stethoscope, but if you do, you might try to hear the baby’s heartbeat. If you can take this with you also, so that others can hear, including your friend. If your lucky the baby will start kicking during the party and your friend might be able to feel this too. (I am assuming that your friend is not a mother at this time.)
Again, don’t make it “political” but just something that might be fun for any guests who might wish to listen.

These are little things that can “nibble away” at the fallacies your friend believes about the unborn.

Peace
James
 
If you would be comfortable doing so, you might even invite her to the birth. It is a truly amazing thing to see a new life coming into the world!
 
One of the biggest lessons you will learn as a parent (and one you should teach to your children) is that you can be gracious to to those who offer to do something nice for you, even if you disagree about everything else under the sun.

Enjoy this baby shower. If the guests ask how you are feeling then you can tell you that you have been delighted ever since you first learned that God had graced you by allowing a new person to grow inside you.
 
aggiecatholic85 said:
Like I mentioned, she is throwing me a baby shower and this makes absolutely no sense to me, given that (by her views) she is having a celebration for a fetus that has no rights and can be aborted should I simply desire it.
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Why would it not make sense for her to want to celebrate the fact you’re going to have a baby?

Also, the big point of a baby shower is to provide the new mother with things that the baby will need. Regardless of her feelings about the fetus right now, she’ll know that you’ll need baby clothes, and all the doo-dads like strollers and car seats practically as soon as the baby’s born. Do you think that her being pro-choice means that she would be okay with you driving home from the hospital with your new baby in your lap?
aggiecatholic85 said:
Am I being too stringent in my pro-life attitudes? A part of me just wants to cut all ties with her and ask her not to throw the baby shower, but I know this would be counter-productive to setting a Christ-like example and (perhaps one day) winning her over by example.
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I think the key question in all that is this: is she your friend or not?
 
I say let her throw the shower, on the condition that all gifts received will be donated to a pro-life crisis pregnancy center. 🙂 I think that’d be a nice compromise, especially if you are having more than one shower.
 
Your reaction is unusual, your friend probably doesn’t know that you’re considering cutting all ties with her because of her pro-choice views. She wants to throw you the baby shower, because you’re her friend. And of course she’s going to call your baby a person because it would be extremely rude and inappropriate to start arguing with your pro-life pregnant friend about how her baby is not a person.

The baby shower is about you, and about getting you started and ready for the baby.
 
I can understand your feelings, it’s so “ick” to be around pro-abortion people-- especially the ones who are **actively **pro-abortion and not just sort of passively “whatever” type people.

And, I also understand your feelings about cutting the friendship. There are only so many hours in the day and the effort to maintain a friendship that is no longer based on mutual things… well, it’s a lot of energy.

I do want to say that friendships come and go, so if you do drift away-- even if she throws you this shower-- then don’t feel guilty about it. My matron of honor from my wedding and I are no longer friends. And, she’s in all the pics, etc. That’s just how it is.

As to the shower, unless you think you will be seriously distressed at the shower, let her throw it. Bring ultrasound pictures from every stage and show them around! Witness to her in a subtle way. Maybe have her throw the shower as a co-hostess with a couple of other people-- did anyone else offer?
 
aggiecatholic85 said:
Like I mentioned, she is throwing me a baby shower and this makes absolutely no sense to me, given that (by her views) she is having a celebration for a fetus that has no rights and can be aborted should I simply desire it. Am I being too stringent in my pro-life attitudes? A part of me just wants to cut all ties with her and ask her not to throw the baby shower, but I know this would be counter-productive to setting a Christ-like example and (perhaps one day) winning her over by example.
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No.

I don’t recall Christ advocating a go along to get along attitude. If that were the case I don’t think he would have flew into rage and used a whip to drive the merchants out of the temple.
 
SamH said:
No.

I don’t recall Christ advocating a go along to get along attitude. If that were the case I don’t think he would have flew into rage and used a whip to drive the merchants out of the temple.
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He did however dine with sinners. a practice that caused the pharisees to complain bitterly. There is a difference between “getting along” and “remaining engaged”.
Obviously these women know the other’s position and choose to remain in contact. That being said, more good can be done by the OP remaining in contact and bringing her friend even closer into the process of pregnancy and birth than could be done by cutting her off.

One cannot evangelize to people they won’t talk to.

Peace
James
 
flyingfish said:
Your reaction is unusual, your friend probably doesn’t know that you’re considering cutting all ties with her because of her pro-choice views. She wants to throw you the baby shower, because you’re her friend. And of course she’s going to call your baby a person because it would be extremely rude and inappropriate to start arguing with your pro-life pregnant friend about how her baby is not a person.

The baby shower is about you, and about getting you started and ready for the baby.
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It’s not so much cutting ties with her about her pro-choice views, there are a lot of other factors going on. I just find it hypocritical that one day she could be talking about my baby as a human being and (sometimes literally) the next day be escorting women into Planned Parenthood to have an abortion, in addition to vociferously bashing Catholics for anti-abortion stances, etc. And I think it’s a bit ridiculous to call a baby a person just when it suits your needs, i.e. maintaining a friendship with me or “not being rude,” when you support the murder of its counterparts in another womb.
 
Go to the baby shower, and keep working on your friends tragic views on life.
 
JRKH said:
Obviously these women know the other’s position and choose to remain in contact. That being said, more good can be done by the OP remaining in contact and bringing her friend even closer into the process of pregnancy and birth than could be done by cutting her off.
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Actually I would think that cutting off the relation might make the “friend” realize that her actions have consequences. Much the same way I wouldn’t allow a child molester to throw a party for children I wouldn’t allow a baby murderer to celebrate my child’s impending birth. While Jesus did spend his time with the sinners he had little patience with hypocrites – like the “friend” in this situation.
 
aggiecatholic85 said:
It’s not so much cutting ties with her about her pro-choice views, there are a lot of other factors going on. I just find it hypocritical that one day she could be talking about my baby as a human being and (sometimes literally) the next day be escorting women into Planned Parenthood to have an abortion, in addition to vociferously bashing Catholics for anti-abortion stances, etc. And I think it’s a bit ridiculous to call a baby a person just when it suits your needs, i.e. maintaining a friendship with me or “not being rude,” when you support the murder of its counterparts in another womb.
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The problem here is that many pro-abortion people consider a “wanted baby” as a person and an “unwanted baby” as just a blob of tissue They don’t necessarily think it through. I have talked with many of them and some unfortunately help make the laws!

There is a real disconnect with these people so what we need to do is pray that their eyes be open to the truth.

Brenda V.
 
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