Problem Getting A Seat At Mass

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attaininggrace

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I was a bit late arriving at Mass and I wanted my usual seat on the end of the pew. No one wanted to move over -everyone wanted to sit on the edge and I doubt that they would have liked my stepping over them. One nice man moved over for me right at the bAck but I felt quite rejected and thought that they were quite rude! I have people who I talk to at tea afterwards so I am not keen on going to another church.

The answer is arriving early but I was a bit shocked. What do you think?
 
If I get there too late to get the seat I want, that’s on me.
 
Franky, I think there are more important things you should be worried about.

BTW - I checked your profile: it’s says Catholic & Anglican

What does that mean?
 
You’re upset because everyone - including yourself - wanted to sit on the end, but you couldn’t because you were late?
 
I never sit at the end of a long pew. No way. Too rude.
I slide right to the middle.
Me - I have stopped at a pew - person looked up -
I point to the middle - while - moving in front of them - lol
They’d never do that on a airplane - if they had pews !
 
Yeah, a lot of people can get cranky or possessive about the aisle seats. Maybe they need to get up to participate in the liturgy at some point, or need to stretch their legs, or just want to be able to make a run for it! 🤣

But whoever gets there first gets to choose their seat…they don’t have to give up the aisle seat for you if they’d rather not.

If you arrive late, just ask or motion for a person to let you in the pew. They can stand up to let you pass, or at least scrunch in so you can scoot past them. If they want the aisle, you can’t demand it. They got there first. But you can politley ask to be let in for the middle seats.
 
Hello Phil,
I must change that to Catholic! I converted from the Anglican Church but I still felt in-between.
 
I don’t see why. I always move over for people although I like to sit on the end. They wouldn’t like my stepping over them either and the service had not actually begun.
 
attaininggrace said:
I was a bit late arriving at Mass and I wanted my usual seat on the end of the pew. No one wanted to move over -everyone wanted to sit on the edge …

What do you think?
Click to expand...
There are no assigned seats at mass. First come, first seated. Would/do you move in from your “usual seat” when people come late, or do you also want to sit on the edge?
 
Nothing annoys me more than the “I own the pew” crowd. I get there with small kids 15 minutes early so we can have the end.

We NEED end pews for easy exits. Between screaming fits and poopy diapers you do not want us jumping over you a half a dozen times a mass.

We move over so people can go in the middle when the pews are large. At our church my family takes up 2/3 of the pew, so unless only one person is sitting at the other end, there really isn’t room.
 
Let me share a perspective a a single person who goes to Mass alone, just to add to the mix. I sit on the end and I’m usually fairly early. Why do I prefer the end for Sunday Mass? Because if I go to the middle of the pew, inevitably I will have big family groups enter on one side and then the other, sandwiching me in the middle. Ok, I can deal with that. However, the loneliest time for a single person stuck in the middle of the pew occurs at the handshake of peace. That’s when the family groups turn toward each other, hugging, kissing, etc. leaving you feeling completely invisible (which you are) and having no one to greet.

It happens all the time. Just saying. So why do I hug the end of the pew? To avoid this loneliest of feelings in God’s house.
 
Irishmom2 said:
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attaininggrace:
I was a bit late arriving at Mass and I wanted my usual seat on the end of the pew. No one wanted to move over -everyone wanted to sit on the edge …

What do you think?
Click to expand...
There are no assigned seats at mass. First come, first seated. Would/do you move in from your “usual seat” when people come late, or do you also want to sit on the edge?
Click to expand...
I only once moved on someone’s demand. It was for a parent of an autistic boy who asked nicely.

Otherwise, even when single, I got up out of the pew and let the person get in, returing to my seat.
 
Oh, yeah, families with little kids should always be able to get an end of the pew for those quick exits.

I always make sure we get there 15-30 min early. We take up a whole half of a pew plus another seat, and we like to sit up front. I like being early to pray and not worry over where we sit.
 
It used to be possible for me to sit in the middle, and preferred it, but now at 4’10.75" it is impossible to reach the collection basket unless almost at he end!!
 
Limoncello4021 said:
That’s when the family groups turn toward each other, hugging, kissing, etc. leaving you feeling completely invisible (which you are) and having no one to greet.
Click to expand...
I take it these are families with older children. I’ve found that my children, and my friend’s children, between 2-10ish don’t give a crud about family members and ESPECALLY siblings. Getting to shake the hand of the stranger is pretty much the end all be all.

Mom is invisible.

so.
very.
invisable.
 
That’s completely opposite to my experience in my family oriented church. They all love each other to death apparently.
 
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