Problems respecting the opinions of my Protestant wife

[QNDNNDQDCE]

Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things.

Remember that if you were judged according solely to your merits, you would merit only eternity in hell. You have been saved only by the grace of Jesus Christ. You complain that your wife does not give sufficient care to the. Remember that Christ said to his disciples, A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. Have you done your best to live out this great commandment? As it says in Romans, this means an unconditional love: But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Love your wife because even if she is not perfect, she is a human being created in the image of God and she is your wife.

 

[PatHeg]

I never claimed to be anything and if I claimed to follow jesus I would not have she claimed to follow him and still disregarded his teachings

Love your Wife with all your heart and stop finding faults with her.
None of us are perfect, (and dare I say it, not even you).
From what you originally posted, it is possible that your wife has more Christian values than you.

 

[KaraGordon]

Yep…as a former Protestant, I get where she’s coming from.

The thing is that unlike the Catholic Church, a lot of Protestants think they can believe and act however they want because they’ve said the sinner prayer. It’s a one time thing and any past/present/future sins are immediately washed away because they’ve said this one prayer. The mindset is totally different than what we get in the Catholic Church. Salvation isn’t a one time ‘event’. It’s something continuous in our church.

After the authority of God is the authority of her own conscious. That’s just a reality you are going to have to deal with.

So my advice is to love her; pray for her; let the Holy Spirit move in her life.

I can see how it’s hard to have different opinions than your spouse over faith issues, but the fact is that you chose to marry her knowing that she was a Protestant.

The best thing my husband did for me was let me come to the Catholic faith myself. He didn’t push or nag or try to tell me I was wrong all the time. Once I overcame my objections to Catholicism, I just couldn’t be a Protestant anymore. However, I had to do my own research and reading and praying.

Good luck!

“Act however they want”

That is ridiculous and stereotyping and very offensive. The same could be said about Catholics in terms of Confession. We read the same Bible as you (well, mostly…I’m informed that you’ve added some stuff) and follow the same of God’s commandments. When we sin, we ask for forgiveness just like you.

Salvation isn’t a “one and done” thing for us, either. We need to take up our crosses daily just like you, talk to God, renew our faith every day.

Stop acting like we worship Satan or something because we’re not the same as you.

I second the advice to speak to your priest. Ask him how to best show Christ to your wife.

I also recommend reading “Rome Sweet Home.” In it Scott Hahn talks about how he tried to convert his wife through argument, until a wise Catholic friend told him to just love her. It was after he stopped trying to convert her and just loved her as his wife and the gift she was, that she eventually converted.

The road you are on now sounds pretty miserable and can only lead to more misery as you show your wife disrespect and contempt for her thoughts and feelings. Show her love and pray for her. It will lead to a much better life for both of you.

OP, you need to find a way to remind yourself that it is your duty to save her soul. No matter how long it takes, no matter what she decides to ignore, even if the only thing that ends up working decades from now is witnessing your example, you must remember that you are the one who must sacrifice for her.

As for her lack of piety, non-Catholics simply do not have our understanding of this. Blame her Protestant background. It is not entirely her fault.

Why does it seem to me that Protestants are held almost at a lower place in the “hierarchy of being saved” than non-believers? It hurts.

We know Jesus. We are saved. But apparently Catholics are just a little more saved than us.

To OP: she is your wife and it is your job to love and respect her and not treat her as lesser than you because she doesn’t practice her beliefs in the exact same way as you. Stop being a butt.

 

[pensmama87]

“Act however they want”

That is ridiculous and stereotyping and very offensive. The same could be said about Catholics in terms of Confession. We read the same Bible as you (well, mostly…I’m informed that you’ve added some stuff) and follow the same of God’s commandments. When we sin, we ask for forgiveness just like you.

Salvation isn’t a “one and done” thing for us, either. We need to take up our crosses daily just like you, talk to God, renew our faith every day.

Stop acting like we worship Satan or something because we’re not the same as you.

Why does it seem to me that Protestants are held almost at a lower place in the “hierarchy of being saved” than non-believers? It hurts.

We know Jesus. We are saved. But apparently Catholics are just a little more saved than us.

To OP: she is your wife and it is your job to love and respect her and not treat her as lesser than you because she doesn’t practice her beliefs in the exact same way as you. Stop being a butt.

Respectfully, you should learn a bit more about what Catholics actually believe. Luckily, Catholic Answers and the forums here are great for that!

For starters, we don’t assume we are “saved” - we won’t know for sure until death. “Work out your salvation in fear and trembling,” and all that. As to your assertion that Catholics “added stuff” to the Bible, I would suggest you read this. As to what Catholics mean by “Church” (and who’s in it and who’s not), these might be helpful.

God bless you.

 

[KaraGordon]

Respectfully, you should learn a bit more about what Catholics actually believe. Luckily, Catholic Answers and the forums here are great for that!

For starters, we don’t assume we are “saved” - we won’t know for sure until death. “Work out your salvation in fear and trembling,” and all that. As to your assertion that Catholics “added stuff” to the Bible, I would suggest you read this. As to what Catholics mean by “Church” (and who’s in it and who’s not), these might be helpful.

God bless you.

That’s what I’m trying to do by even being here in the first place. And going to Mass somewhat regularly. And asking questions when with my boyfriend’s family.

Unfortunately I keep running into this idea that Protestants are lesser-class citizens in the Kingdom of God (if we’re even there in the Catholic opinion in the first place.)

It’s hard to try to learn more when your upbringing is slighted at every turn.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

“Act however they want”

That is ridiculous and stereotyping and very offensive. The same could be said about Catholics in terms of Confession. We read the same Bible as you (well, mostly…I’m informed that you’ve added some stuff) and follow the same of God’s commandments. When we sin, we ask for forgiveness just like you.

Salvation isn’t a “one and done” thing for us, either. We need to take up our crosses daily just like you, talk to God, renew our faith every day.

Stop acting like we worship Satan or something because we’re not the same as you.

Why does it seem to me that Protestants are held almost at a lower place in the “hierarchy of being saved” than non-believers? It hurts.

We know Jesus. We are saved. But apparently Catholics are just a little more saved than us.

To OP: she is your wife and it is your job to love and respect her and not treat her as lesser than you because she doesn’t practice her beliefs in the exact same way as you. Stop being a butt.

I hear you. I was raised protestant and I constantly see a lot of misconceptions on these boards, or just over generalizations that don’t apply to anyone but the most conservative, extreme, biblical literalist, evangelical protestants.

I have never heard “once saved always saved”, nor was I ever treated as though that was the case. I’ve never heard of the sinners prayer, much less that I could just say it and be done.

 

[pensmama87]

That’s what I’m trying to do by even being here in the first place. And going to Mass somewhat regularly. And asking questions when with my boyfriend’s family.

Unfortunately I keep running into this idea that Protestants are lesser-class citizens in the Kingdom of God (if we’re even there in the Catholic opinion in the first place.)

It’s hard to try to learn more when your upbringing is slighted at every turn.

I’m sorry you’ve run into that. Truthfully, I think this thread (excepting maybe the OP himself) have actually been very supportive of the OP’s Protestant wife. While we believe that the Church holds the fullness of Truth, we do not believe that we are perfect if we are Catholic - just that our greatest opportunity for salvation comes from the Church Jesus established for us. It is possible to be saved outside of the Church, but the Church represents the “ordinary” way - i.e. through the Sacraments. Many posters, myself included, have criticized the OP for his arrogant attitude.

I think sometimes, especially in online communities of practicing Catholics like this one, there can be a bit of a bunker mentality. Many of us feel alone in our real world communities and sometimes our parishes and families (especially for those of us who are converts). Even once predominantly Catholic countries now treat their heritage as a cultural quirk and nothing else. For Americans, we often have to deal with non-Catholic Christians who don’t even see us as brothers or sisters in Christ. I’ve been accused of polytheism, for instance. While that doesn’t excuse arrogant behavior, of course, frustration does get expressed here: “I can’t believe that such-and-such denomination accuses us of x when they believe heresy y…”)

In general, the most active posters here are very knowledgable about Catholicism. Feel free to ask any questions you have. Sometimes the answers may sting. I know I had to examine a lot of views I had when I was exploring Catholicism and it didn’t feel good to realize that I was making a lot of erroneous assumptions about my faith and the faith of others. But ultimately I am glad I did.

 

[maryjk]

But any time she talks I have very low respect for her opinion for two reasons

1. we had sex before we where married when she claimed to be a Christian. When I learned who Jesus actually was at 33 I gave up all my sinful behavior instantly, mainly through the rosary when ever I had a temptation

All I can say is WOW.

You gave up ALL of your sinful behavior INSTANTLY?? Really?

I only ask because we are all sinners. We all need the grace of Confession.

So I find it hard to believe that she is a sinner, but you are not.