Prolife obituary for miscarriage

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Dana,

May God give you strenght and peace to go thru this and sustain you as you stand up for the life and dignity of your children. Oh how this can test our faith! Please pray the Rosary every day and take it easy, be very gentle with yourself. God bless,
 
** I can’t stop crying. I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through. I can only hope that if I were to ever experience such a heart wrenching loss that I could deal with it in the way you have…with strength and courage and faith and love.**
Is there a way to put the obituary in your local paper but remain anonymous? That way many people would be touched by it that don’t read a church bulletin, but you wouldn’t be subjected to to scrutiny or unwelcomed attention…
I know my mom, who is not religious, frequently reads the obits. I think many people do. They are the ones who need to hear/read your meassage of LIFE.
Thank you so much. What a wonderful example of a mother you are!
Malia
 
Thank you RosaLydia. I love the rosary and try to get it in each day.

Something that has helped is the private revilation of Catalina. She describes what happens at Mass. She speaks about how during the Mass we are expected to offer and ask of Jesus. Her description of our Guardian Angels going up to the alter with our prayers is just awsome. I have my Angel bring my family, my sorrow, my thanks, my everything to Jesus. I believe we need to make all things glorify or Lord. Little Joseph Marie and little Theresa are serving him and I am honored to just be a part of there lives.
 
I believe I heard you today on the radio talking with Jonette Benkovic and the priest with her (I forget his name). You did such a nice job sharing about your loss and about the life of your son.
 
newf said:
I believe I heard you today on the radio talking with Jonette Benkovic and the priest with her (I forget his name). You did such a nice job sharing about your loss and about the life of your son.
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Thank you! It was only by the grace of God. I am not all that great at speaking.
 
v1gilbert said:
I thought the Feast of the Holy Infants was to pray for the babies killed by Herod. If it is applicable to miscarried and aborted babies please respond back. My wife just miscarried over Thanksgiving and I really feel this feast day could help me to commemorate my baby annually.
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Dear Gilbert,

I am so sorry for your loss.

You are correct about the Feast of the Holy Innocents.

"From the Directory on Popular Piety and the Liturgy

*The Feast of the Holy Innocents
  1. Since the sixth century, on December 28, the Church has celebrated the memory of those children killed because of Herod’s rage against Christ (cf. Mt 2:16-17). Liturgical tradition refers to them as the “Holy Innocents” and regards them as martyrs. Throughout the centuries Christian art, poetry and popular piety have enfolded the memory of the “tender flock of lambs”(125) with sentiments of tenderness and sympathy. These sentiments are also accompanied by a note of indignation against the violence with which they were taken from their mothers’ arms and killed.
In our own times, children suffer innumerable forms of violence which threaten their lives, dignity and right to education. On this day, it is appropriate to recall the vast host of children not yet born who have been killed under the cover of laws permitting abortion, which is an abominable crime. Mindful of these specific problems, popular piety in many places has inspired acts of worship as well as displays of charity which provide assistance to pregnant mothers, encourage adoption and the promotion of the education of children."*

Of course, one can’t really compare God allowing a child to die in utero to the willful killing of a child. The pain on the parent’s side might be similar, however the cause is so very different.

I have not lost a child to miscarriage (as I was unable to get pregnant), but I would think there are better feast days on which to focus because of this. January 1 is the Feast of Mary, Mother of God. Who better to understand and help with the loss of a child?

Here is a link to patron saints that might be of help. Maybe you and your wife could do some novenas for help with acceptance and peace at your loss and sorrow.

catholic-forum.com/saints/pst00201.htm

Our parish held a Mass of the Tiny Innocents earlier this year for all babies that died through miscarriage, stillbirth, and abortion. It was very well attended and needed. Maybe you can check your local diocesan paper for something similar, or contact your diocesan or archdiocesan pro-life office to see if they are aware of upcoming Masses.

If it’s any consolation, you know you both now have a saint in Heaven to whom you can pray and ask for help in finding peace at having lost his or her presence so soon.

God bless you,
Debbie
 
Dear Dana,

Thank you for sharing your most intimate thoughts on your son, Joseph Marie.

His obituary was absolutely beautiful. I’m glad all of your fellow parishioners will be able to read your words that are such a heartfelt testament to the truth of life beginning at conception. Who knows how many hearts will be changed when they read it.

God bless you,
Debbie
 
aplacetoremember.com/gremembk.html

I don’t know if you realize there is such a ministry in the Catholic church called the Elizabeth Ministry…It is a ministry to women of childbearing age. The link I have provided is a place for you to place your baby in heaven’s name for all to read and remember.

Remember, even if you cannot hold your child right now, Jesus is…and your little one will be there to greet you when you come home someday too!

Some parishes also hold a special mass during the year, usually during the Christmas season to remember all children lost to miscarriage or abortion, or stillbirths…Perhaps, you can suggest it to your pastor if it has not already been done. May God always keep you and bless you!
 
Thank you for the suggestion. I visited that sight when my daughter, Theresa, passed away. It is wonderful! I want Joseph’s obituary to send a message about life to people who may not understand that life begins at conception. People who have experienced a miscarriage already know. I want to reach thoughs that don’t know and they aren’t usually found on that sight. Thank you again for your kindness.
 
I think you did a beautiful thing, dk. I wish more people considered themselves already parents while they were pregnant. I know I will when my time comes.

I was just looking through People magazine, for Dec. 11, (Prince William is on the cover) and there is an article on page 153 called “Proof of Life” about campaigns for a Certificate Birth resulting in Stillbirth. I haven’t read the whole thing, and I’m not intending to start a sub-discussion in the thread, but I thought it looked interesting and wanted to let people know it is there.
 
Hi Dana!

What a powerful harmony of voices your family has against the “death industry” as Fr. Euteneuer calls it.
You’ve really started a great trend in recognizing the value of human life in it’s earliest stages by posting the obituary of your son at the parish level and I think it’s a huge step that you’ve taken as well to share in the international pro-life movement by sharing on the net as you have. It’s a wonderful example of the power of a Mother’s love.
Taking on the public yourself by posting in the newspaper at this vulnerable time may not be God’s call to you. It seems to me you are feeding the sheep of God’s flock in a mighty way at this time and in inspiring others to do likewise, you are creating a movement that has to start in the very direction you have gone in.

Very well done, Dana.

It needs to be offered in the Diocesan papers as well in the necrology for families to post this very real loss.

Prayers!
from the mom whose son just left Jack’s class. ; )
I want to see you soon.
 
In defense of Island Oak, I don’t think she was ‘unspeakably rude’ in offering her opinion. This thread solicited opinions, and she stated hers, which is that miscarriage should be a private affair. She was rather blunt in her message, but I wouldn’t condemn her so harshly.

Having said that, my answer to her is that we are all individuals and grieve in differerent ways. I think this is a lovely idea to acknowledge the precious life that was lost. I, too, lost a baby through miscarriage and it was a horrendous experience. For us the salve was to try again in two months, and we did conceive successfully and had a healthy girl.

My condolences to you on the loss of your son.
 
I didn’t see the response earlier about keeping it private…
It seems to me that a loss of life - any life, is a loss to all.
Why would we keep any life private?

Isn’t that what the whole abortion and euthanasia campaigns seek - choice and privacy? I say we celebrate life and we acknowledge it and share it - God made us to be social and to be gifts to one another and little Joseph Marie is a gift to all.

He’s become even more of a gift because we know about him.
When we all get to the next life we’ll meet little Joesph Marie and Elizabeth and all the babies who didn’t make it to receive official recognition via way of a birth certificate. We’ll meet all the people who were kept private.

Life is a Gift -
and gifts are for sharing.
 
WenckebachCath said:
In defense of Island Oak, I don’t think she was ‘unspeakably rude’ in offering her opinion. This thread solicited opinions, and she stated hers, which is that miscarriage should be a private affair. She was rather blunt in her message, but I wouldn’t condemn her so harshly.

Having said that, my answer to her is that we are all individuals and grieve in differerent ways. I think this is a lovely idea to acknowledge the precious life that was lost. I, too, lost a baby through miscarriage and it was a horrendous experience. For us the salve was to try again in two months, and we did conceive successfully and had a healthy girl.

My condolences to you on the loss of your son.
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I didn’t post Joseph obituary out of grief. I do feel grief over the loss of my son, but I posted his obituary so that others would understand what it is to miscarry. In society today the word miscarry has lost it’s meaning. It is an empty term. My child died. To say I miscarried somehow allows people to deny that there was a child that died. The only difference between Joseph and my other son is size. Joseph was six inches long. My other son is 48 inches. I posted his obituary to recognize his life. If we deny the life of the innocent in the womb, we don’t view abortion as the killing of the innocent in the womb. Without life there is no death. If we don’t believe Joseph was a human life, my son, then it makes it ok to kill any other 14.5 week old child in the womb because they are not a life.
 
dkoinzan said:
I didn’t post Joseph obituary out of grief. I do feel grief over the loss of my son, but I posted his obituary so that others would understand what it is to miscarry. In society today the word miscarry has lost it’s meaning. It is an empty term. My child died. To say I miscarried somehow allows people to deny that there was a child that died. The only difference between Joseph and my other son is size. Joseph was six inches long. My other son is 48 inches. I posted his obituary to recognize his life. If we deny the life of the innocent in the womb, we don’t view abortion as the killing of the innocent in the womb. Without life there is no death. If we don’t believe Joseph was a human life, my son, then it makes it ok to kill any other 14.5 week old child in the womb because they are not a life.
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Absolutely right. And it isn’t helped by our “parent-to-be” culture that only acknowledges actual birth as the beginning of life. dkoinzan, thank you for bringing it to people’s minds. I have to admit I hadn’t thought about that comparison (with abortion) much til you brought it up. People are parents at conception, and that needs to be acknowledged.
 
Little Josephs obituary was in the bulliten this week. I am pleased. He will be a reminder of the life of the unborn during the feast day of Our Lady of Guadelupa. How perfect!
 
I was honored to read Little Joseph’s obituary to Fr. Frank Provone today. Life is so important. It is amazing how God can teach us through the smallest and weakest. Last Christmas I gave my children an unltrasound picture of their baby Sister Theresa as a gift. This Christmas I put flowers on two graves. I have gained so much from their two little lives. Even sorrow can glorify The Father. I have been blessed with five beautiful children and I am thankful.
 
I was very touched to read this thread.

I’m an only child, and my mother had 4 miscarriages after me. I still think about all those siblings and wonder what it would have been like if they had survived. I really miss them. (And everyone out there seems to think that this is silly of me, which hurts)

My parents never talk about it (I think it’s too painful for them). But sometimes, I wish they would.
Tif
 
I know that my children are missing their sister and brother. We ask them to pray with us each night and continue to pray for us. My son had been praying for a brother for years. When we found out that Theresa was a girl he decided he would still like to share a room with the baby and he wanted to paint one of his walls pink for her. After she died he said he would have painted the whole room pink if she would have lived. He was so excited when I got pregnant again. To find out that Joseph was a boy and that he too had died has been so incredibly hard on him. My children’s teachers have a hard time realizing that my children buried a sister and a brother this year and that they are grieving for them. God loves us much and has given us a little sliver of his cross. I can’t imagine the suffering of his death. Our sliver has been hard.
 
I just can’t imagine the pain you must be going through. I have 2 healthy children but I have had several miscarriages. I know all too much how you must feel. My last miscarriage was at the age of 40 and it wasn’t any easier than the first. My heart goes out to you and your family. God give you the strenth to get through this. It has been a long road to recovery but you can get through this. Talking to people about this was the best thing for me. The pain will never go away but I have 2 children and am thankfull for that. My prayers are with you. If you want to talk I am here for you. My experience may not have been as bad as yours but nonetheless I can truly relate.
God Bless you and your family!
 
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