Prolife obituary for miscarriage

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I made it a point to tell him that I was hurt that he didn’t say Theresa’s name at her masses and that I would appreciate it if he would please say Joseph’s name at his upcoming mass. When he didn’t I called and said I was hurt. He said he was sorry I was hurt but… and gave me a bunch of excusses like… Other churches don’t do that, the children were in charge of the mass. All lame! I told him I didn’t want any excuses. He called me irrational.
 
dkoinzan said:
I made it a point to tell him that I was hurt that he didn’t say Theresa’s name at her masses and that I would appreciate it if he would please say Joseph’s name at his upcoming mass. When he didn’t I called and said I was hurt. He said he was sorry I was hurt but… and gave me a bunch of excusses like… Other churches don’t do that, the children were in charge of the mass. All lame! I told him I didn’t want any excuses. He called me irrational.
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WHAT?? No disrespect meant to a priest but you need to call him out on the floor. This is ridiculous. How dare he act as though he is not the one responsible to say their names. The children were in the charge of the Mass?? What? Other church don’t do it??? WHO CARES!! You go to another parish as soon as possible explain what happened and ask the priest to offer up the Mass for your babies. How rude.
 
There is no other place that I can go for mass at this time. This is not the first time this priest has acted in such a fashion. I try to just pray for him. I usually just say, “I don’t pretend to understand the situation.” I try to give him the benefit of the doubt. This time I was just to hurt. He has to be disfunctional!
 
Yes, I really don’t know what to say about this. Your babies are deceased humans and I don’t know about this priest but when my priest says a Mass for a deceased person he says their name. I am so sorry you have been hurt like this.
 
Disfunctional sounds harsh. What I am trying to say is that I would like to believe that he isn’t deliberatley being cruel.
 
I understand what you are saying. While we do not want to disrespect a priest it is difficult to find the right words when something like this happens. You know, I am still glad he offered up the Mass because God knows who it was offered for.
 
how are others expected to support the culture of life if the priest isnt willing to?!?!? He should stand up for your children by acknowleging their humanness by naming them in the mass!!!

i am so sorry for you and your family…

(((HUGS)))

melissaP
 
Please pray I have more tests today. Pray that if it be God’s will, we can have one more child. Pray God gives my husband the streingth to try again.
 
Arlene said:
I am so sorry for your loss. The loss of a baby early in the pregnancy can be a very lonely grief. There are those who will tell you what is ok, and what is not ok, but the fact is, whatever helps you heal is your business. I surely have done some things that would make a few people shake their heads, but until you have held your dead baby in your arms and layed them into the casket, you have no say to tell someone who has how they should grieve.

I encourage you to visit the website of SHARE, a support network for miscarriage, stillbirth and early infant loss.
www.nationalshareoffice.com They are an awesome organization, and it was started by a nun almost 30 years ago. You will find you are not alone in wanting Joseph Marie to be remembered and acknowledged.
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I checked out this websight, and I am not that impressed. I did post, and was very disappointed. I am trying to show that these are our children from conception and on this sight I found women who have aborted their children because they are not perfect. There were some that were not grieving because they killed their children but because their children were not perfect. My message is that all human life is as God created it and therefore is perfect. My Daughter Theresa, who died 31 weeks after conception, was what some would consider NOT perfect. She had downs. I believe that she was more perfect than I am because the made it to heaven more quickly then I. I gave little Theresa the name, “Theresa Little Flower,” even before I knew she was downs. She was born on Mother’s Day and I gave her to Mary as her Mother’s Day gift. I have had people say that it was a good thing that she died because she was downs. I would disagree. It was best that God’s will be done. I would have enjoyed raising her, but I was honored to give her to Mary.

Joseph and Theresa are my children and I am honored to have them.
 
Joseph Marie’s due date is just around the corner and Mother’s Day, Theresa’s birthday, is soon to follow. This is so hard. Pray for us.
 
Dana~

My heart grieves for you. Our third daughter (we are raising two sons and one daughter on earth) was born into the arms of Jesus at 12 weeks on Dec. 1, and we will be holding a Mass of the Angels for her in late Spring. She will be buried beside her big sister who was born into the arms of Jesus at 17 weeks in Oct. 2002. We already send out “birth announcements” to family and friends prior to the Mass of the Angels; but I love your obituary, and want to submit one in the paper for our daughter. From the kind and giving words in your posts, I’m sure you won’t mind.

Since we have not been able to travel home (3 day drive) to bury Gabriella, each day feels like day we were given the heartbreaking news. As our trip home draws nearer, I now begin planning her Mass of the Angels and burial. It is bittersweet as I’ve experienced planning one already, and never imagined I would have this cross to bear a second time. I continue to struggle with the reality of her death and maintain my composure when people think that their “kind” words will help ease my pain. How do you respond to “There was probably something wrong, and you don’t want a child with problems anyway.”? I do have a child with a disability, and wouldn’t have her any other way!

Until you’ve seen that motionless ultrasound and heard the silence of the speakers as you lie on that bed in Radiology, until you’ve held your child in your arms and had to say, “Goodbye for now”; you can’t completely understand or fathom the grief. As a mother, we are the ones who nurture and protect our children, both in utero and after they leave the comfort of our womb. We are likewise drawn to be the protectors of their memories once they have departed this earth.

Granted, we don’t have the same memories of holidays, Baptism (which has to be the most important thing for our children!), first day of school, dates, weddings, grandchildren, etc… but we grieve them just the same. They are our children. We have a Christmas stocking for all 5 children at Christmas time, and this year the oldest two made gifts for their angel sisters to place under the tree.

How beautiful are the brief lives of our precious babies and to many others who were touched by them. I wish I could have heard you speak of your babies on that program! When I speak of my to children in heaven, people look at me as if I have committed a sin.

The 4th anniversary of our first daughter, Catherine’s due date is coming up this week. It is also the 5th anniversary of her big brother’s Baptism. You will always mourn those things you missed out on, but I continue to look forward to times in heaven when we are all joined again.

Thank you for this thread, and to the many kind responses and words of comfort directed to you. For someone struggling to deal with the loss of a baby, the words are also helpful to others as well.

My prayers are with you as your approach Theresa’s birthdate and Joseph’s due date. I pray you are afforded the opportunity to honor your children in a way that gives you the comfort you so deserve.

Feel free to PM me if you would like.

🙂 Angel
 
dkoinzan said:
I have struggled with the sorrow of my son’s death. It seems that society just waves away the importance of life. My child has died and it seems that his very existances is denied. I believe that God gave me a special gift, a son. God created my son for a special reason. I may not fully understand that reason right now, but I believe his life is worth celebrating and sharing. I would like to encourage others to create obituaries for their unborn children. We believe life begins at conception so let us not let these children die without recognizing their importance, thier purpose. Don’t let society believe these children are not alive or precious. They exist from conception and they are our sons and daughters. I held my son after giving birth to him. He fit in the palm of my hand. I washed his little body and kissed his tiny head good-bye.

Joseph Marie
Joseph Marie, son of Greg and Dana , died fourteen weeks after conception. Joseph leaves behind two sisters; Mahkenna and Mia, and one brother, Jack. He was preceded in death by his sister Theresa.
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Joseph accomplished so much in his fourteen weeks.  He began life at conception as a single cell.  He grew leaps and bounds in his short life.  At his death he was about six inches long and weighed about three ounces.  His little fingers and toes were perfectly formed and he even had little toe nails.  His little heart pumped 25 quarts of blood each day.  He could suck his thumb.  He had hair and he was able to blink his little eyes.

Joseph attended Mass at St. Michael’s Parish all his life.  Before his death Joseph was consecrated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary by Fr. John Santos.  He was born after his death on November 6th, 2006.   Joseph’s name has been written in the book of Holy Innocence at the Shrine of Holy Innocence in New York.

May our Lord’s perpetual light shine upon Joseph and may he rest in peace.
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What a wonderful testimonial to your son. Thank you for sharing it. May he rest in peace, and may the witness of his short life be a beacon of hope to all.
 
Darling J. _______

7th child, my youngest sibling, to a large loving homeschooling family, lost a year ago this March. Named by my mom. J. because the middle name would have been John or Jeanne. Darling because it was darling one way or another.

❤️ :console: ❤️
 
I had a hard time coming to terms with my mom’s miscarriage, no matter how much I prayed. It was difficult for me because it was difficult for my mom. But then, in December 06 I had a splinter in my mind and sat down and wrote a poem. Then a great weight was lifted from me by grace. Here is the poem (I haven’t shown my mom yet because she’s still sad):

Here on earth
Fleetingly;
Now in heaven
Eternally.

Though we never
Heard you cry,
I knew you were as
Real as I.

Your tiny heartbeat
Was going strong,
Then something went
Horribly wrong;

At the hospital
We all cried.
Sadly, we learned
You had died.

Condolences
We did hear;
Slowly joy grew
From bitter tears,

For far too sweet,
Darling, were you
For this teeming world
Flawed through-and-through.

Such angelic sweetness!
With God you now belong
Alongside angels and saints,
Singing joyful songs.

Our arms were open
Wide with love
Now you rest
In heaven above.

Lovingly,
We now recall
You are with Mary,
The best Mother of all!

Goodbye, goodbye,
My darling, my sweet.
Fare-thee-well, until
The next time we meet.

Here on earth
Fleetingly;
Now in heaven
Eternally.
 
That poem is beautiful! You should give it to your Mom. Loosing a child is so hard, yet it is even harder when people don’t want to talk about that child for fear of making you sad. I cry often over the deathes of Joseph and Theresa, it would make it much easier if people could undetstand they are a part of my family. They are my children.

Theresa was born last year on Mother’s Day. Oh how I miss her! Joseph’s Due date is April 13th. I long to still be pregnant with him. The awsome thing is that each one of us has a part to play in the salvation of the world. God chose each one of us to be on this earth for the time we are hear so that the world may have salvation. Theresa and Joseph were chosen to touch this world for the time they were hear. There lives were predestined for a reason. God’s plan for all of us is awsome. I am excited to see his will for me and all my children.
 
Little Theresa, our daughter, was born on Mother’s Day of this past year. We are looking for ideas to celebrate her birthday this mother’s day. My children and I find the balloons at the grave not really what we want. We gave Theresa to Our blessed Virgin Mary for Mother’s Day. She is our little Saint. Any ideas how we could celebrate her birthday this year. I want it to be a time of rejoicing. Somehow to be able to celebrate that she is our little gift. Any ideas?
 
I am sure that Jesus and Mary are happy that you want to celebrate the life of little Theresa. It must make them so happy to see that you recognized her for the blessing that she is.

Family Rosary at her gravesite

Charitable work in her honor, maybe something fun for children such as organizing a pillow and pillow case drive for foster children and tie-dying the white cases. Some churches do these drives because it gives the foster children something of their own to take from home to home, and they can pack their meager belongings into the pillow case when it’s timem to move.

Making Rosaries to give away. You could try twine-knotted ones as seen on rosaryarmy.com

If you have a Legion of Mary at your church, find out if the Pilgrim Virgin statue can come and visit your home during Mother’s Day.

Or you could plant a Mary Garden and include some memorial of Theresa and Joseph, along with a small statue of Our Lady. You could also include your other children by letting them paint a rock with their names on it.

You could go for a nature walk and admire God’s beautiful creation.

I hope you have a wonderful celebration of the immense gifts that these children have been to you! I think it’s very admirable that although your heart aches to be with your children again, you still give thanks to God for the time you had with them and for the time you will have with them in Heaven.
 
Thank you for the ideas. My other three children, my husband and I planted a garden with a statue of St. Theresa. We had been working on it for a year when Theresa died. We then made it into her memorial garden. We will have to replace some flowers and clean it up. Maybe we can do that on Mother’s Day. We can also go to Trinity Heights, a Shrine near us, and pray a rosary. We will have to put new flowers on Theresa’s grave and all the other graves of our family. I just want to keep busy. I know it may be a hard day and I want it to continue to be a celebration for all my children, those here and those in heaven.
 
Your son is now written upon my heart. I am crying now at work reading about him…I can feel how important he was to you, and to those around you. And look at now how many people he impacted, me included. You will remain in my prayers, and I know he is in heaven looking out for all of us now…

Vester
 
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