Promote NFP more honestly!

[ryecroft]

Exactly. I feel I should supplement what I said earlier with this - ABC is it’s own cross to bear. It’s a strain, to be sure. There just is no easy way, that’s why marriage is considered it’s own trial.

I really do think that’s why, as a general rule, we need to treat one another with unending patience, understanding, and non-judgmental attitudes when we don’t know something for sure. Spacing births is really only up to the priest, the couple, and God. And it’s hard and painful enough with just THOSE three!!

Thank you, I am in complete agreement with you!
I’ve been thinking an praying a great deal about this - and I guess I just feel that the people that are coming out and touting that NFP has a 99% + success rate (and I did look in the books that I/we had used for our training with various NFP forms and it does say anything from 96%-99.4% success rate) - it just seems really dishonest. I will be the first to say, I really wish it did have that kind of success rate (with regards to preventing pregnancy) - I’ve heard the Janet Smith talks and the Dr. Brenner talks and they all come out with these stats - but I just don’t believe they can be true - either that or they are defining “success” as something different.
I’ve just seen so many people and heard of many more who have tried and found out something didn’t work right - perhaps if there was another way to find out it wasn’t working OTHER than getting a + sign on a pregnancy test. It is very disheartening to go through these NFP classes, chart for months and stick religiously to a regimen and then be told “oh well, I guess God wanted you to be pregnant” or "you must have had a “break through ovulation”
The NFP people and or the Church - whoever is putting these stats out needs to be specific about the “success” and what they mean and if success is also taking into consideration those who were very staunchly trying to avoid pregnancy and those who wern’t. To me, it’s lying by omission.

God Bless
Rye

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

Thank you, I am in complete agreement with you!
I’ve been thinking an praying a great deal about this - and I guess I just feel that the people that are coming out and touting that NFP has a 99% + success rate (and I did look in the books that I/we had used for our training with various NFP forms and it does say anything from 96%-99.4% success rate) - it just seems really dishonest. I will be the first to say, I really wish it did have that kind of success rate (with regards to preventing pregnancy) - I’ve heard the Janet Smith talks and the Dr. Brenner talks and they all come out with these stats - but I just don’t believe they can be true - either that or they are defining “success” as something different.
I’ve just seen so many people and heard of many more who have tried and found out something didn’t work right - perhaps if there was another way to find out it wasn’t working OTHER than getting a + sign on a pregnancy test. It is very disheartening to go through these NFP classes, chart for months and stick religiously to a regimen and then be told “oh well, I guess God wanted you to be pregnant” or "you must have had a “break through ovulation”
The NFP people and or the Church - whoever is putting these stats out needs to be specific about the “success” and what they mean and if success is also taking into consideration those who were very staunchly trying to avoid pregnancy and those who wern’t. To me, it’s lying by omission.

God Bless
Rye

I totally agree here.

See, I’m going to be perfectly honest here…I really disagree with the church about their stance on ABC when it comes to things such as abortifacients. And not in the way that I think that ABC should always be allowed, or never allowed and NFP be practiced. My personal belief is that either NFP is just as sinful as ABC, or non-abortifacient birth control is acceptable as well.

However, this is why I believe God created me a woman and placed me in a unique situation in life where I don’t personally have a pony in this race – he is protecting me from sin and protecting me from leading others into it. I recognize the church must have some wisdom that I am not seeing so I follow their rules despite my disagreement.

However, part of my disagreement and distrust on this issue comes from the fact that I people pushing it to the point of being dishonest. It gets all my red flags waving and distrust all ablaze.

See, if I were going to trust the church more on this opinion, people would be out there telling couples that it’s not perfect. That it fails often, and is trying, and hard on marriage and then people could come into it with the right heart. Instead, I see people making claims that rarely if EVER pan out the way they say it would and it creates unhealthy expectations.

It just seems that NFP is “catholic birth control” so…I just don’t get the whole scenario. All I know about it is it’s highly controversial, confusing, and accounts for 90% of the threads on here. LOL

 

[maryjk]

See, if I were going to trust the church more on this opinion, people would be out there telling couples that it’s not perfect. That it fails often, and is trying, and hard on marriage and then people could come into it with the right heart. Instead, I see people making claims that rarely if EVER pan out the way they say it would and it creates unhealthy expectations.

It just seems that NFP is “catholic birth control” so…I just don’t get the whole scenario. All I know about it is it’s highly controversial, confusing, and accounts for 90% of the threads on here. LOL

So what about those of us that haven’t had problems? That have used NFP and it has never failed us? Those of us that don’t find NFP trying? That it hasn’t harmed our marriage?

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

So what about those of us that haven’t had problems? That have used NFP and it has never failed us? Those of us that don’t find NFP trying? That it hasn’t harmed our marriage?

Then good for you!! That’s really awesome, but sadly, it isn’t the norm.

(by the way, I LOVE your signature!)

 

[maryjk]

Then good for you!! That’s really awesome, but sadly, it isn’t the norm.

(by the way, I LOVE your signature!)

Thanks, I heard the quote so many times, I needed to find out who said it.

I guess what I am saying, about the thread, , is that people will say that NFP needs to be promoted honestly. But what you are really saying is that the negatives need to be highlighted. If I read your opinion on NFP, I would wonder if we used the same method or if you were even using NFP simply because I haven’t had problems with it. In fact, my experience is almost textbook.

So when I talk of NFP, I am very positive. And you would say that you want me to promote it more honestly. But I am being honest. :juggle: See what I mean?

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

Thanks, I heard the quote so many times, I needed to find out who said it.

I guess what I am saying, about the thread, , is that people will say that NFP needs to be promoted honestly. But what you are really saying is that the negatives need to be highlighted. If I read your opinion on NFP, I would wonder if we used the same method or if you were even using NFP simply because I haven’t had problems with it. In fact, my experience is almost textbook.

So when I talk of NFP, I am very positive. And you would say that you want me to promote it more honestly. But I am being honest. :juggle: See what I mean?

Oh I totally understand what you mean. And you are right - I don’t use NFP. I don’t want to do into detail here on a forum of all places since it’s painful and embarassing, but suffice it to say that I am sterile until I can afford medical intervention. long sigh

However, I know too many friends who have suffered in silence with NFP because they were afraid that if they said what it was doing to them they were “bad catholics.” So it slowly ate away at their marriage.

It’s not that the negatives need to be highlighted exactly, but it’s that they need to be talked about and discussed. From what I have heard, no one talks about the hardships - just how “awesome it is” and flouting the high success rate and low number of abstinence days. Heck, just based on what I have read about it, I thought it was perfect when I was researching it as a kid. I didn’t understand why more people didn’t use it. When the option was taken away from me as a mid-teenager, I was devastated. Then when I grew up and met people on it, I wondered why people never told me about the reality of it.

The thing is - EVERYONE needs to be honest. People like you are pure GOLD in that you can tell of the success and the benefits that have come with it. The success rate, the benefits to your marriage. It’s AWESOME. But there also need to be people out there honestly sharing the pitfalls. It seems that whenever people bring this up - even on this forum - they are silenced and called “bad catholics” for their struggles. They then suffer in silence, then give up and seek out ABC or sterilization. All because no one was honest with them, and no one listened to their concerns. It’s a hard road! Especially when there are people out there who cling to it so tightly!