But Adam (post 428), marriage has nothing to do with “pride in one’s sexuality.” It was devised as a contract between two consenting heterosexual adults, as a domestic institution “housing” the development of children – originally naturally born, should the couple be so fortunate. Its purpose was to ensure not just random procreation of children, but particular unified households in which not just the breeding of children, but the raising of children by two parents of implied different genders would occur in harmonious yet differentiated (by role, by gender) surroundings.
It does not mean that people of different genders have not also coupled in such state-approved unions without the intent to have (or even adopt) children, nor does marriage between two persons require the raising of children (such as marriage between two eldery people). But neither is marriage just a free-for-all. It was designed to maintain, continue, promote social order – among other things – on the micro level.
The fact that incidentally, both straight and gay people “take pride” in loving unions with others is neither here nor there. The fact, for example, that some women (even some men, but it’s more true among women) feel finally ‘fulfilled’ (and "proud) when married, is also completely unrelated to the secular condition of marriage and the “right” of grown heterosexuals to marry.
The state does not prevent two people of the same gender from loving each other, from cohabitating, from entering into their own contracts, or even from domestic partnership. In fact, domestic partnership is approved of in CA. You have special tax forms you fill out, etc. A title/role has to have meaning, or it’s just a title. I could be “proud” to be “granted rights” to do lots of things that it would not be in my best interest or society’s best interests, or my own children’s best interests, to do. Marriage has a fairly narrow purpose, regardless of whatever results, whatever personal identification it carries.
What happened today is a sacrilege – not to the Catholic Church per se, or to religious people per se (althought that, too), but to children. That arrogant ruling said today that children do not need a mother and a father, that 2 Dads are just fine, or 2 Moms. It gave the State the legal right to deprive children of their natural born civil rights to parents of different genders. How did it do this? By granting a title that implies equal parenting participation to gay couples, relative to heterosexual couples. It said (by implication) that it doesn’t care whether children have natural parents, have parents of different genders, etc.
Marriage is ultimately not about personal identity, except incidentally and secondarily. It’s about family. It’s about the structure of an institution and of society. I’m not against gays having loving relationships with children, such as through relatives, through formal associations, etc. I’m against eliminating one gender from the identification of a child with his or her parents because of state redefinition of one of the major pillars of a civilized society.
I also have to say I am deeply disappointed in the Prop 8 defense strategy. It was pathetic. They provided no convincing arguments to the court. Shame on them. They failed to articulate eloquently (which they needed to do in this political climate) why the state has a compelling interest in this definition and in this limitation. Either they were in shock, or they were overconfident, and I’m disgusted. Sad day for California and the nation. Sad day for children and the next generation. Really sad.