Proper Dress and Behavior for Catholic Men

[Shin]

If you need the Church to spell out in precise detail all your responsibilities externally, you have failed to understand the basic teachings themselves internally and need to rebegin from the beginning.

Dressing properly for mass is something that is done for God. In other words, you reorient – You do not dress for your own sake and pleasure, you dress for God’s sake and pleasure.

This done, it is clear how one dresses as a layman. One takes out the dress shoes, the pants, and the dress shirt.

 

[thunderballs75]

We should try to dress nicely for mass. But before we notice the splinter in our neighbor’s eye, we must take into consideration what might be going on. Sometimes during the week, people have just gotten off of work or are headed to work, and they might have working-class jobs. A plumber who goes to mass right before work may not have the most handsome attire. So I think we can assume it isn’t always possible for everybody to dress our best. We should probably let God judge.

For ourselves of course, we should always try to look nice. I typically wear pants, a belt, a nice button-up shirt and nice shoes.

 

[benedictgal]

INot trying to be rude, but are you even an adult? I’ve never heard an adult use such sweeping generalizations! Would it be fair to lump all women in to one category in the same manner with which you categorize men? You complain about men doing it, yet you are quick to do it yourself. It’s appalling really.

Once again someone completely misunderstands my point. My point was that I personally dress my best, but it is not my place to determine what others should wear if there is no written dress code from the parish or diocese.

Common sense and a good understanding of propriety should help dictate what is appropriate for the Mass. At our cathedral, we have signs that indicate that shorts are not allowed. St. Peter’s Basilica is even more explicit: women cannot wear sleevless attire (dresses/blouses) and must be covered when they enter the basilica.

In my time on this earth, I have seen violations from both men and women. Having assisted with the coordination of weddings, I have seen fashions that violate both taste and modesty. Worse still is when the offending parties go to receive Holy Communion in outifits that require covering. Men have not fared much better, especially when they show up in shorts and in the other attire that I previously mentioned ni my earlier response.

Granted, it’s good that you dress your best. You already have a good sense of propiety within you. However, it seems to have been lost in the younger generation (and in some of the older folks). I have seen bus drivers show up for daily Mass. Their appearance is neat and clean. I have also seen buildling contractors with the same sense of propriety show up for daily Mass as well.

However, the shorts, the flip-flops, the sports team jersies and the hip-hop attire are not appropriate for Sunday Mass, nor are body piercings, for that matter (this also applies to both men and women).

 

[benedictgal]

You are saying do the minimum necessary, sorry but I think we owe God more than that. Obviously you cant’ give what you don’t have, if a person realy cant afford to dress well to go and see His God because of poverty or whatever God knows, and if a person does’t dress well because he doesn’t really care, can’t be bothered, thinks its nobodies business what he wears etc then God sees the selfishness and arrogance of that to.

Yes, we do owe God more than the bare minimum. But, the owing more doesn’t necessarily entail having to go and buy designer clothing. Target has some nice things that look just as good as the stuff from Macy’s or Dillard’s.

In Genesis, Cain and Abel both offered sacrifices to God. Abel offered the Lord the fattest and choicest of his livestock; Cain gave God the bare minimum of his grains.

 

[Black_Dog]

I’m 55 years old. I dont own a suit, a shirt or a tie and have no intention of ever doing so. I try to make sure my clothes are clean. On my last visit to the Cathedral to meet with the Bishop I wore a tweed jacket, clean plain t shirt, clean jeans and I may have polished my shoes…but it was a big day

As for my behaviour…I try to be devout and non judgemental of those around me. Would I wear the same attire to meet with the President or the Queen?..definitely

 

[cbrownell]

I’m sorry, but I live in Northern Minnesota. Our priest said that he would make “an exception” to allow my husband to be a Eucharistic minister wearing his snow boots. He acted as if he were doing him some great favor, even tho the person scheduled had failed to show up at all (probably because of the snow!). I’m sure if you don’t have to leave the building to get to Mass, you probably have a different perspective. If you have to slog though a foot of snow to a Church that does not have a parking lot, it kind of changes your reality. I would never be disrespectful to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament or even the priest or my fellow parishioners, but yes, I wear business-casual pants and snow boots to Mass.

To me, being respectful is an attitude, not a style of dress. I don’t judge people’s dress because how do I know why they dress like they do? Maybe that’s all they can afford. Maybe they give all their money to the poor and shop at thrift stores. Would I rather they stayed home because they don’t have the “right” clothes for me? Just remember, you can act like a disrespectful moron in a 3-piece suit also.

 

[Dirk_Skene]

Since I do not own a suit, & do not wear trousers except to work, I make sure I wear only my nicer kilts. I never wear the casual kilts. I always wear diced hose or the tasseles that some call “flashes” on my socks. The jacket is always an argyle or “prince charlie” style. In my opinion the casual or modern style kilts would be inapproprate for Holy Mass.

 

[T700]

Since I do not own a suit, & do not wear trousers except to work, I make sure I wear only my nicer kilts. I never wear the casual kilts. I always wear diced hose or the tasseles that some call “flashes” on my socks. The jacket is always an argyle or “prince charlie” style. In my opinion the casual or modern style kilts would be inapproprate for Holy Mass.

You sir, are the winner. I hereby award you, one Internets.

Your post made my day!

Paul

 

[Agripa]

Just remember, folks, its just as likely that God Almighty could care less how we dress and in the end, folks are more likely really preening for each other in church and not for God. Seems to me the Lord takes us as we are, not how we appear. And if you think of it, clothing is really only a reminder of the ancient shame ascribed to the first sin of Adam when he felt ashamed and put on loin cloth.

 

[Ridgerunner]

My father never went to Mass without wearing a suit and tie. So, I guess just because of him, that’s what I wear too; 100% of the time. I’m a bit proud of my grown son because he does too; likely out of respect for my father, at least in part. But he’s a pretty reverent kid for one in his twenties.

I realize some men don’t own suits. I guess the fashion of the times is such that most men rarely wear them, and don’t want to spend the money on them. I’m not putting them down. But I remember when I was a kid, men all wore suits when they went anywhere “special”. Industrial workers all did. Everybody did. If an adult man did not wear a suit at Mass, it was something you noticed. You wondered if something untoward had perhaps happened to his suit. I’ll grant that some of the more bull-necked farmers had a lot of trouble with collars and ties, and so, some few didn’t wear ties.

Now, a good part of the time, I’m the only one in church with a suit. But even though I’m out of place, I’m not bothered by it. My father kept the faith and kept up his sense of propriety during some of the hardest years the Church had in the last century, and I’ll continue to honor his memory, and his reverence, by always wearing a suit and tie to church.

 

[Dirk_Skene]

You sir, are the winner. I hereby award you, one Internets.

Your post made my day!

Paul

well thanky

 

[Lucas3]

Actually, this isn’t correct. Jesus wore a seamless robe. This was highly expensive and would be the equivalent of a very expensive suit nowadays.

That’s why the soldiers cast lots for it at Jesus’ crucifixion, rather than just tearing it apart.

 

[Cracker_Mom]

Since I do not own a suit, & do not wear trousers except to work, I make sure I wear only my nicer kilts. I never wear the casual kilts. I always wear diced hose or the tasseles that some call “flashes” on my socks. The jacket is always an argyle or “prince charlie” style. In my opinion the casual or modern style kilts would be inapproprate for Holy Mass.

I love it!
Which clan?

 

[Shin]

Indeed, and the Lord killed His priests for wearing the wrong garments. Struck them dead, right before their families. More than once.

Disagree with God on this? Take it up with Him and be thankful He delays judgment in these times.

The garments you wear don’t matter? It’s only the inside? Utter nonsense. A lie of the world. Popular. And a ** lie.**

The interior matters. The exterior matters. Both matter.

The outside only doesn’t matter when you are excused via reason of impossibility or greater gravity.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

At the good suggestion of the user eichenb:

Since no one else has started this discussion, I thought that I might as well jump in.

Especially pertaining to attire during Mass, I think it is fair to say that the standard of dress for men has also decreased significantly.

I am interested in hearing suggestions/sources for standards of attire and what tradition to say about the behavior and dress of good, Catholic men?

(As an aside, I noticed that the Brooks Brothers clothing stores carry a variety of etiquette books for men. Has anybody picked one of these up or can your recommend a Catholic alternative?)

I also lament the nose-dive in dress standards.

However, at the Vigil Mass, everyone has been running errands all day and some may not be able to change before coming to church. Although I do think if you look like you’ve been shoveling out the garage, you might at least put on a clean shirt.

 

[Kilo1Mike21]

Actually, this isn’t correct. Jesus wore a seamless robe. This was highly expensive and would be the equivalent of a very expensive suit nowadays.

That’s why the soldiers cast lots for it at Jesus’ crucifixion, rather than just tearing it apart.

Mark Chapter 15: 16-20 No mention of Jesus owning “seamless robe”
Matthew Chater 27: 28 & 35 No mention of Jesus owning “seamless robe”
Luke Chapter 23: 34 No mention of Jesus owning “seamless robe”
John Chapter 19: 23 Seamless tunic mentioned…but please tell me how this translates that this would be "expensive clothing? Seriouly, I want to know. I find it incomprehensable that Jesus, living a poor mans life would himself dress in an expensive garment. Am I missing something? Anyone explaine this to me.

 

[Agripa]

James 2 (New International Version) 1My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don’t show favoritism. 2Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. 3If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” 4have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

 

[DavidPalm]

James 2 (New International Version) 1My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don’t show favoritism. 2Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. 3If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” 4have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

Agripa, may I suggest that what is being discussed here in this thread is not someone who cannot afford better clothing, but those who very much can afford better but do not, for whatever reason, dress up for Holy Mass. That’s very different from what St. James is describing.

As the saying goes, “A text without a context is a pretext for a prooftext.”

 

[damooster]

Indeed, and the Lord killed His priests for wearing the wrong garments. Struck them dead, right before their families. More than once.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t they killed for wearing the wrong garments? I think there’s a big difference between being punished for not wearing what you were told to wear, and choosing between dressing up or down.

 

[DavidPalm]

Correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t they killed for wearing the wrong garments? I think there’s a big difference between being punished for not wearing what you were told to wear, and choosing between dressing up or down.

I agree. It’s probably not the best analogy.