Proper Dress and Behavior for Catholic Men

[Eddie_Mac]

I have been a practitoner of jeans to Sunday Mass in the past. My current practice that ends this week is business casual.

My lovely wife of 34 years today picked me out some nice sport jackets, shirts, ties, and shoes. I have made the comittment to set an example for others since I believe examples are the best way to raise the bar.

Lots of adults could stand to see others dressed appropriately for the occasion of visiting Jesus. If we dress better for social gatherings and business functions than to visit our King then something is wrong and I admit I am a one of the ones who did this.

Our young men and women (high school age) who are active in the church are dressed in coats and dresses. They are very neat and orderly and truly inspired me to improve my appearance when I go to visit my Lord and King in the sacrifice of the Mass.

I have been thinking of this for a long time and believe that a person’s appearance at Sunday Mass really should reflect how they percieive themselves, who are a vessel of the Holy Spirit.

Now if I can just improve what I do with my eating habits and improve in what I feed my temple of the Holy Spirit…another step in my journey to the ultimate goal.

Eddie Mac

 

[Shin]

I have been a practitoner of jeans to Sunday Mass in the past. My current practice that ends this week is business casual.

My lovely wife of 34 years today picked me out some nice sport jackets, shirts, ties, and shoes. I have made the comittment to set an example for others since I believe examples are the best way to raise the bar.

Lots of adults could stand to see others dressed appropriately for the occasion of visiting Jesus. If we dress better for social gatherings and business functions than to visit our King then something is wrong and I admit I am a one of the ones who did this.

Our young men and women (high school age) who are active in the church are dressed in coats and dresses. They are very neat and orderly and truly inspired me to improve my appearance when I go to visit my Lord and King in the sacrifice of the Mass.

I have been thinking of this for a long time and believe that a person’s appearance at Sunday Mass really should reflect how they percieive themselves, who are a vessel of the Holy Spirit.

Now if I can just improve what I do with my eating habits and improve in what I feed my temple of the Holy Spirit…another step in my journey to the ultimate goal.

Eddie Mac

Deo gratias! And the angels rejoiced!

I will pray for your mortification in regards to food! I hope to move forwards in this too!

 

[Agripa]

Sorry, but it seems people are getting somewhat prideful when they try to dress up and “set examples” for others on how to act, dress or behave in Church.

It comes off as either judgmental or “do-goody” and in the words of a favorite old broadcaster of mine in St. Louis years ago, he would often say, “Lord, save me from the do-gooders!” :hey_bud: And I agree!!

That we encourage folks to dress up for this or that occasion is fine - humans are animals that do that - they compete and preen and dress up, but that is FOR THE BENEFIT OF OTHER HUMANS, TO IMPRESS THEM OR TO SHOW CONFORMITY.

My point is, whatever God is or thinks about or considers (if God does any of these things at all), its unlikely God cares about these trivial human efforts. We do it for each other and in doing so, we like to think God likes what we are doing.

 

[Love_the_Lorax]

Agripa,
You wrote: "We do it for each other and in doing so, we like to think God likes what we are doing." I must respectfully disagree. Truly, I don't wear nicer pants or a skirt to impress those around me. If anything, they might think me a bit strange :rolleyes:. I do it because I am aware of attending Mass to worship, and aware of what is happening as I receive the Eucharist. Wearing my nicer clothes is a way for me to show respect and honor. My nicest clothes are by no means examples of high fashion, considering that I wear skirts bought at the thrift store. Presenting myself at Mass clean and in clothing a step above what I would wear to clean out the garage only seems sensible to me. Yes, MY opinoin, and that's fine. Do I believe that our Lord looks in the heart? ABSOLUTELY!!! Amen to that.... I also believe that what people wear influences how they act, their attitude, and says something to those around them.

 

[doughnut]

i stand by my beliefs, we must always dress the best. we cant really judge others in the sense that we don’t know what is their best, some might genuinely cant afford to do better (though that is really the minority unless you’re living in a poor area)

for me, if im sloppy and all, i would not enter, and will rather dress myself better, and be more “prepared” before going in. (say if my parish starts mass at an earlier timing, i could go to another that starts later, but get myself better prepared, than rush in and excuse myself to the Lord saying, “is the thought that counts. at least i bothered to drop by”)

 

[Extempore]

Sorry, but it seems people are getting somewhat prideful when they try to dress up and “set examples” for others on how to act, dress or behave in Church.

It comes off as either judgmental or “do-goody” and in the words of a favorite old broadcaster of mine in St. Louis years ago, he would often say, “Lord, save me from the do-gooders!” :hey_bud: And I agree!!

That we encourage folks to dress up for this or that occasion is fine - humans are animals that do that - they compete and preen and dress up, but that is FOR THE BENEFIT OF OTHER HUMANS, TO IMPRESS THEM OR TO SHOW CONFORMITY.

My point is, whatever God is or thinks about or considers (if God does any of these things at all), its unlikely God cares about these trivial human efforts. We do it for each other and in doing so, we like to think God likes what we are doing.

I think its funny that people can’t get past the relatively simple explanation that the outward appearance is an indicator of the orderliness and care of one’s spiritual disposition. If one is slovenly out of carelessness (i.e. "God doesn’t care what I wear) this belies a slovenly inner disposition as well. Whereas, care in outward appearance (combing hair, shaving, brushing teeth, wearing “Sunday best”) prepares the inward disposition to match the outward.

The sad fact is that so many people today think dressing up is only about vanity or what other people think. Being clean, well-groomed and well-mannered are all parts of growing up, of being mature and casting off the sinful human temptations towards slovenliness, sloth and carelessness.

 

[Mels]

This is a Catholic lady speaking, but I think the suit and tie would be good - it should be leaning more formal or dressed up than casual.

No jeans, no sneakers, no offensive clothing, i.e., no stuff with logos on it or distracting pictures etc. Polos, ok. Khakis, ok. Preferably suits, ties, etc. Good dress shoes and dress pants.

 

[jjwq2]

As a woman, I find men in jeans at a Sunday Mass to be repulsive (no matter what the age of the man). Jesus deserves more than that. If you can not dress up–shirt and tie–for Our Lord, how would you act on a date? Or how would you treat a lady? If Jesus is disrespected by a man in his inability to dress up for Him, his creator, then how can I expect a man to respect me as a woman?

I presently attend a FSSP parish and the men always wear a sport coat, dress shirt, and tie with few exceptions. The ladies most frequently wear skirts, modest dress shirts, and chapel veils.

 

[LilyM]

How we dress comes from the heart. Our heart is our will. We will how we dress.

External circumstances such as poverty can change this, and so God looks at the heart, as well as the results of our actions.

But when the king came in to meet the guests he saw a man there not dressed in a wedding garment.

He said to him, ‘My friend, how is it that you came in here without a wedding garment?’

But he was reduced to silence.

Then the king said to his attendants, ‘Bind his hands and feet, and cast him into the darkness outside, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.’

Many are invited, but few are chosen.

Matthew 22:11-14

Note that the person was invited to the wedding feast by God, and came to the wedding feast. The person wanted to be at the feast with God. But the person was not ready for the wedding feast, the person had not prepared… like the foolish virgins…

They were not prepared for God.

We must prepare our souls and our exterior actions will reflect the interior. Those actions include how we dress and act, to the extent we are capable of influencing them with our will, our heart.

Shin - this is the same Lord who sent out HIS disciples, the 72, to represent Him to far-off towns and preach His gospel. Did He advise them to put on their best before they set off because it would reflect better on Him, their Lord, and themselves, to do so? To take an extra-nice robe for Sabbath worship in the synaogues, to show appropriate respect to the day and the occasion of the Sabbath?

No - on the contrary He told them NOT take an extra tunic, nor to wear sandals on their feet. With all that travel and no change of clothing they would’ve gotten whiffy and unkempt-looking pretty darn quickly. At the least they would’ve been anything but impressive in appearance. And it was His desire for them to be so.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

Sorry, but it seems people are getting somewhat prideful when they try to dress up and “set examples” for others on how to act, dress or behave in Church.

It comes off as either judgmental or “do-goody” and in the words of a favorite old broadcaster of mine in St. Louis years ago, he would often say, “Lord, save me from the do-gooders!” :hey_bud: And I agree!!

That we encourage folks to dress up for this or that occasion is fine - humans are animals that do that - they compete and preen and dress up, but that is FOR THE BENEFIT OF OTHER HUMANS, TO IMPRESS THEM OR TO SHOW CONFORMITY.

My point is, whatever God is or thinks about or considers (if God does any of these things at all), its unlikely God cares about these trivial human efforts. We do it for each other and in doing so, we like to think God likes what we are doing.

We dress to show respect to GOD first and foremost, and then to the community. Who said anything about a fashion show or designer labels but those who cheer for slovenliness in attire?

Or do you believe neither God nor community is deserving of such respect?

 

[Agripa]

We dress to show respect to GOD first and foremost, and then to the community. Who said anything about a fashion show or designer labels but those who cheer for slovenliness in attire?

Or do you believe neither God nor community is deserving of such respect?

There seems to be an inclination, a human tendancy, if you will, to see God in purely human terms and responses: We like to dress up for other humans on certain occasions and certain situations, and therefore we should do the same for God. I do not disagree that in terms of social interaction with others there are times that call for putting on our “finery” - a wedding, a professional engagement, an interview, a lecture, whatever.

My point is, however, that we really dont know if God gives a hoot about what we wear or don’t wear to a moment of public worship of God. In fact, there is some biblical basis that seems to point out that its not what one wears that is important in the act of either worship or demonstrating a spiritual connection with God.

Further, if dressing up makes you feel better about your relationship with God, then great, buy a tux, polish your shoes and genuflect! However, don’t throw that personl expectation of yourself on others who also come to worship and who may find their comfy blue jeans or jogging suit entirely appropriate (or irrelevant) to their act of public profession of faith!

 

[Shin]

Shin - this is the same Lord who sent out HIS disciples, the 72, to represent Him to far-off towns and preach His gospel. Did He advise them to put on their best before they set off because it would reflect better on Him, their Lord, and themselves, to do so? To take an extra-nice robe for Sabbath worship in the synaogues, to show appropriate respect to the day and the occasion of the Sabbath?

No - on the contrary He told them NOT take an extra tunic, nor to wear sandals on their feet. With all that travel and no change of clothing they would’ve gotten whiffy and unkempt-looking pretty darn quickly. At the least they would’ve been anything but impressive in appearance. And it was His desire for them to be so.

The apostles are a special case, and we do not suppose that they continued to have so little as what they started with. At various times they were provided with the necessities.

And also those who take evangelical vows of poverty are expected to have little in the way of changes of clothing, etc. This is also an exception. They also are expected to have a religious habit, a special garb meant for all occasions. It is also expected of the Lord to provide, which He did and does. Do you live the life of an apostle traveling from house to house? Are you an apostle?

No? Then you have no excuse.

Furthermore, the apostles are not an example in this for another reason, in that we see the bishops of the Church – and I constantly see people using the New Testament improperly, and not distinguishing between bishops, priests, and ordinary faithful when they make comparisons. This is a mistake that leaves out a wealth of information and spiritual knowledge, virtue and law, from the Gospels.

The apostles were provided for by the faithful, which is what they were an example of – God’s Providence. So their needs were met on the journey, and frankly, from the fact that they had quills to write with, they acquired some things for their use.

This is only the minimum of detail. Some people can’t get a grip or are deliberately obtuse to exterior actions showing the interior heart yet they still smile when someone smiles at them – So they haven’t made the simple connection. Even in Heaven, when we hear it described in visions, people are wearing shining garments – their exterior appearance now mirrors their interior state, unlike this life where it does not to a degree, though we have an inbuilt reaction to it to be the way it should be. Correcting this reaction is part of growing up, but over correcting it, and doing away with it, is an error as much as it is in the opposite direction. The devil is in the extremes.

So let us be balanced, and admit that clothing matters. We may not -want- it to matter for the wrong reasons, or have over corrected against being edified by it, but that is not the testimony of Scripture, experience, and the Church. In other words – reality. We must adopt the moderate road of God.

While a person who shows up dressed at your door in a Marilyn Manson shirt, holding a knife, may seem no different to you from someone dressed in a suit and tie wearing a crucifix, I assure you, you will react differently and you are right to do so.

So exterior matters. That’s fundamental. We are not gnostics, where nothing material matters.

 

[Shin]

My point is, however, that we really dont know if God gives a hoot about what we wear or don’t wear to a moment of public worship of God. In fact, there is some biblical basis that seems to point out that its not what one wears that is important in the act of either worship or demonstrating a spiritual connection with God.

Yes, actually we do know, because of scripture and Church tradition, that clothing matters to God, both used in worship, and outside of worship. He has revealed it, and the circumstances under which it matters and a great deal of why.

 

[Agripa]

The apostles are a special case, and we do not suppose that they continued to have so little as what they started with. At various times they were provided with the necessities.

And also those who take evangelical vows of poverty are expected to have little in the way of changes of clothing, etc. This is also an exception. They also are expected to have a religious habit, a special garb meant for all occasions. It is also expected of the Lord to provide, which He did and does. Do you live the life of an apostle traveling from house to house? Are you an apostle?

No? Then you have no excuse.

Furthermore, the apostles are not an example in this for another reason, in that we see the bishops of the Church – and I constantly see people using the New Testament improperly, and not distinguishing between bishops, priests, and ordinary faithful when they make comparisons. This is a mistake that leaves out a wealth of information and spiritual knowledge, virtue and law, from the Gospels.

The apostles were provided for by the faithful, which is what they were an example of – God’s Providence. So their needs were met on the journey, and frankly, from the fact that they had quills to write with, they acquired some things for their use.

This is only the minimum of detail. Some people can’t get a grip or are deliberately obtuse to exterior actions showing the interior heart yet they still smile when someone smiles at them – So they haven’t made the simple connection. Even in Heaven, when we hear it described in visions, people are wearing shining garments – their exterior appearance now mirrors their interior state, unlike this life where it does not to a degree, though we have an inbuilt reaction to it to be the way it should be. Correcting this reaction is part of growing up, but over correcting it, and doing away with it, is an error as much as it is in the opposite direction. The devil is in the extremes.

So let us be balanced, and admit that clothing matters. We may not -want- it to matter for the wrong reasons, or have over corrected against being edified by it, but that is not the testimony of Scripture, experience, and the Church. In other words – reality. We must adopt the moderate road of God.

While a person who shows up dressed at your door in a Marilyn Manson shirt, holding a knife, may seem no different to you from someone dressed in a suit and tie wearing a crucifix, I assure you, you will react differently and you are right to do so.

So exterior matters. That’s fundamental. We are not gnostics, where nothing material matters.

Shin - If heaven is real, its probably a spirit world - clothes will be wholly irrelevant. Those “visions” you read about are from a more primitive, uneducated time, so people actually thought heaven was a city with streets lined with gold and people thought folks would wear shiny garments. Its a myth.

 

[ppasa316]

The apostles are a special case, and we do not suppose that they continued to have so little as what they started with. At various times they were provided with the necessities.

And also those who take evangelical vows of poverty are expected to have little in the way of changes of clothing, etc. This is also an exception. They also are expected to have a religious habit, a special garb meant for all occasions. It is also expected of the Lord to provide, which He did and does. Do you live the life of an apostle traveling from house to house? Are you an apostle?

No? Then you have no excuse.

Furthermore, the apostles are not an example in this for another reason, in that we see the bishops of the Church – and I constantly see people using the New Testament improperly, and not distinguishing between bishops, priests, and ordinary faithful when they make comparisons. This is a mistake that leaves out a wealth of information and spiritual knowledge, virtue and law, from the Gospels.

The apostles were provided for by the faithful, which is what they were an example of – God’s Providence. So their needs were met on the journey, and frankly, from the fact that they had quills to write with, they acquired some things for their use.

This is only the minimum of detail. Some people can’t get a grip or are deliberately obtuse to exterior actions showing the interior heart yet they still smile when someone smiles at them – So they haven’t made the simple connection. Even in Heaven, when we hear it described in visions, people are wearing shining garments – their exterior appearance now mirrors their interior state, unlike this life where it does not to a degree, though we have an inbuilt reaction to it to be the way it should be. Correcting this reaction is part of growing up, but over correcting it, and doing away with it, is an error as much as it is in the opposite direction. The devil is in the extremes.

So let us be balanced, and admit that clothing matters. We may not -want- it to matter for the wrong reasons, or have over corrected against being edified by it, but that is not the testimony of Scripture, experience, and the Church. In other words – reality. We must adopt the moderate road of God.

While a person who shows up dressed at your door in a Marilyn Manson shirt, holding a knife, may seem no different to you from someone dressed in a suit and tie wearing a crucifix, I assure you, you will react differently and you are right to do so.

So exterior matters. That’s fundamental. We are not gnostics, where nothing material matters.

Jesus said it is not the outward apparence that counts, it is what comes from the heart. Having to wear a suit and tie is bull.

 

[Eddie_Mac]

Sorry, but it seems people are getting somewhat prideful when they try to dress up and “set examples” for others on how to act, dress or behave in Church.

It comes off as either judgmental or “do-goody” and in the words of a favorite old broadcaster of mine in St. Louis years ago, he would often say, “Lord, save me from the do-gooders!” :hey_bud: And I agree!!

That we encourage folks to dress up for this or that occasion is fine - humans are animals that do that - they compete and preen and dress up, but that is FOR THE BENEFIT OF OTHER HUMANS, TO IMPRESS THEM OR TO SHOW CONFORMITY.

My point is, whatever God is or thinks about or considers (if God does any of these things at all), its unlikely God cares about these trivial human efforts. We do it for each other and in doing so, we like to think God likes what we are doing.

So I suppose the ones who wear the spring break beer shirts, torn jeans, and whore uniforms are just humbling themselves in order to gain greater graces and are due more respect than those who wish to sincerely respect and adore Our Lord.

Thanks for the lesson, Agripa. I truly must learn how to walk in some other person’s shoes. I always appreciate hearing from someone who can put the sin of pride in the proper perspective. I am amazed that self proclaimed agnostics can be so steeped in the wisdom of The Spirit and teach us in the ways of the truth. I guess my parish priest is wrong in his quest to improve the respect and reverence of his flock. I will counsel him and tell him of your teaching and the error of his ways.

Eddie Mac

 

[Agripa]

So I suppose the ones who wear the spring break beer shirts, torn jeans, and whore uniforms are just humbling themselves in order to gain greater graces and are due more respect than those who wish to sincerely respect and adore Our Lord.

Thanks for the lesson, Agripa. I truly must learn how to walk in some other person’s shoes. I always appreciate hearing from someone who can put the sin of pride in the proper perspective. I am amazed that self proclaimed agnostics can be so steeped in the wisdom of The Spirit and teach us in the ways of the truth. I guess my parish priest is wrong in his quest to improve the respect and reverence of his flock. I will counsel him and tell him of your teaching and the error of his ways.

Eddie Mac

Soooo, Eddie, tough day at the old salt mine??? Why dont you have a few beers and unwind before you throttle someone with that attitude. :tiphat:

 

[Eddie_Mac]

Soooo, Eddie, tough day at the old salt mine??? Why dont you have a few beers and unwind before you throttle someone with that attitude. :tiphat:

Not a tough day. I just don’t like being accused of the sin of pride and being judgmental when I clearly am not…by a self professed agnostic. That is almot like being accused of sin by an atheist, in my opinion.

Eddie Mac

 

[Shin]

Not a tough day. I just don’t like being accused of the sin of pride and being judgmental when I clearly am not…by a self professed agnostic. That is almot like being accused of sin by an atheist, in my opinion.

Eddie Mac

lol. That was a good one.

 

[Agripa]

Not a tough day. I just don’t like being accused of the sin of pride and being judgmental when I clearly am not…by a self professed agnostic. That is almot like being accused of sin by an atheist, in my opinion.

Eddie Mac

Why is it that self proclaimed religious believers are the most judgmental creatures on earth? I am an agnostic because I am honest enough to say “I dont know” when it comes to defining that huge, unknowable thing called “God”, but I am steeped well enough in the RC traditions to know when believers are being hypocrites according to the very doctrines and teachings they profess.

Perhaps I just enjoy pointing out inconsistancies to the smuggly self righteous.