Protestant wife refuses to raise kids Catholic. Help!

[lutherlic]

So the Presbyterian Church of America, not to be confused with the PCUSA, which is one of 33,000 denominations considers itself the true church? Do you realize how absurd that sounds?

ChosenAndCalled is correct in making the distinction (in my opinion). Presbyterians, like most mainstream Protestant denominations, is deeply split along conservative / liberal lines (PCA and PCUSA respectively in this case). Saying “Presbyterian” is far too general to identify their faith.

 

[ChosenAndCalled]

ChosenAndCalled is correct in making the distinction (in my opinion). Presbyterians, like most mainstream Protestant denominations, is deeply split along conservative / liberal lines (PCA and PCUSA respectively in this case). Saying “Presbyterian” is far too general to identify their faith.

Thanks for the clarification, you are very correct about the liberal/conservative issue there.

To “Phil888”: For the record, I do not believe - and never stated - the the PCA is the “One True Church”. Our denomination teaches, and I believe, that the One True Church is Christ’s Church visible and invisible. All who are chosen, called, regenerated and renewed to life are members regardless of their denoninational standing. Membership in that Church is entirely at God’s choosing. Yes that means that Catholics can also be members of the “One True Church”, just that simple membership in any of man’s denoninations does not confer absolute membership in the One True Church.

To me, my wife is like the prodical son who knows the truth and has rebelled; I trust and pray that she will eventually realize her rebellion - through God’s providential hand - and return to us in fullness.

 

[sdtouchton]

I am a Catholic ,my husband is a Baptist, but we get along with eachother eventhough we have strong diffrent background.Not only that I am Indian catholic and Husband is white American. we have major diffrences in everything. But I try to prove my catholic faith through scriptures. I know its difficult, but its possible. we are raising the child in catholic faith. Husband is very strong in his faith and I am very strong in Catholic Faith. he goes to Baptist Church and I go to Catholic Church with the child. sometimes i do visit his church but I respect and continue my faith in catholic church, sometime he visits my church.

Pray to God, please do not divorce, because God hates Divorce.
biblicalproof4catholicfaith.blogspot.com/

 

[StJudePray4Me]

Hi. I am sorry that you are having these troubles.

A lot of good advice and suggestions have already been made.

I wondered one thing, though: do your wife’s chosen godparents know the questions they will be asked, and the promises they will be making at the Baptism? Would they be comfortable lying on the Altar?

I really don’t understand why someone would want to do this. I attended a Baptism where I knew for sure that the “Godmother” was an atheist. The child’s mother chose this woman under pressure, as the woman had been very good to her & her husband and sort of made it known that she wanted to be Godmother…but I think, in their minds, that “Godmother” meant “Really special person in the life of this child” or “Especially beloved friend of the parents.” I, as a practicing Catholic" was – well, to be honest, I was disgusted that this woman got up on the Altar and LIED. I felt like it made a mockery of the whole thing.

 

[DV56]

Wow, aside from post #6 it seems as everybody has at least some valid points. (Regardless of who, where, and why, contraception is a mortal sin) It’s got to be very difficult for you, but realize this is a sad affect of not discussing these things thoroughly before being married.

You’re wife seems to be being unreasonable, but that is also a terrible situation with her grandmother. That has clearly left her with a very bad taste in her mouth about a church she know little about. If I were in her position, that would scream of what Martin Luther was angry about. BTW, there was a recent AAA answer by Fr Serpa of the exact same thing, simony, going on in a writers parish today.

I think you’ve got to stand your ground through careful negotiation. If you get along well with your in-laws they might even be willing to be good listeners and advisors to both of you.

You’re in my prayers.

 

[Diogenes1]

This kind of thing is why many people have left the Catholic Church, i.e.,
rigid control rather than love.
I find it hard to believe that Jesus would have treated people like the Catholic
Church does.

 

[remjsmom76]

First you have to understand that stabbing blow suffered by her family at the hands of a man who was supposed to help at the hour of need, instead stabbing them through the heart with the devils septor.

Next…the art of compromise. The both of you have to compromise. You pick on GOD parent, and she picks the other…she cant have it both ways. No way JOSE! She didnt make that baby on her own. So sit and compromise.

 

[DV56]

This kind of thing is why many people have left the Catholic Church, i.e.,
rigid control rather than love.
I find it hard to believe that Jesus would have treated people like the Catholic
Church does.

And how much do you know about the Catholic Church? Being a Noner.

 

[DV56]

First you have to understand that stabbing blow suffered by her family at the hands of a man who was supposed to help at the hour of need, instead stabbing them through the heart with the devils septor.

Next…the art of compromise. The both of you have to compromise. You pick on GOD parent, and she picks the other…she cant have it both ways. No way JOSE! She didnt make that baby on her own. So sit and compromise.

I think many have echoed the same thing. I did.

 

[Polycarp1]

How can an agnostic honestly do the baptismal vows? If he did he would be lying and I don’t think that is a good way to enter a child into the Faith.

V. Do you reject Satan?
R. I do.
V. And all his works?
R. I do.
V. And all his empty promises?
R. I do.
V. Do you believe in God, the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth?
R. I do.
V. Do you believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was born of the Virgin Mary was crucified, died, and was buried, rose from the dead, and is now seated at the right hand of the Father?
R. I do.
Do you believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting?
R. I do.
V. God, the all-powerful Father of our Lord Jesus Christ has given us a new birth by water and the Holy Spirit, and forgiven all our sins. May he also keep us faithful to our Lord Jesus Christ for ever and ever.
R. Amen.

 

[DV56]

How can an agnostic honestly do the baptismal vows? If he did he would be lying and I don’t think that is a good way to enter a child into the Faith.

V. Do you reject Satan?
R. I do.
V. And all his works?
R. I do.
V. And all his empty promises?
R. I do.
V. Do you believe in God, the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth?
R. I do.
V. Do you believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was born of the Virgin Mary was crucified, died, and was buried, rose from the dead, and is now seated at the right hand of the Father?
R. I do.
Do you believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting?
R. I do.
V. God, the all-powerful Father of our Lord Jesus Christ has given us a new birth by water and the Holy Spirit, and forgiven all our sins. May he also keep us faithful to our Lord Jesus Christ for ever and ever.
R. Amen.

I thought that was such an evident point I never thought to post it. I was thinking that whether Catholic or Lutheran there would have to be an objection by the priest of either church. But, perhaps I assumed. In any event, thanks for posting it.

 

[CatholicGirl19]

Why can’t you just teach your kids about your faith while your wife teaches them about hers?
The Church also recognizes baptisms done by other Christians, so in that way, does it really matter if your child is baptized Catholic or Lutheran? It is still the same sacrament that does the same thing: cleanse your kid of original sin.

My advice would be to pick your battles.

Also suggest to your wife that she use female condoms instead of you using male condoms.

yes the Church dose recognize the baptisms of other Christians but thats why they are Christians not Catholics.

I don’t know if it will help at all but instead of the use of condoms, male or female,
have you ask how she feels about NFP? (Natural Family Planning) it has a 99%
effect rate and the use of NFP v. condoms and birth control leeds to an overall
decreased divorce rate. all forms of contraception not only keep you from conceiving
but it also disrupts the bond being made between you and you spouse.

funny thing is that non-Catholics use NFP as well (but the have a different name for it)

I just wanted to say that you will be in my prays lovin_the_beach.
I kinda know a bit of what you are going though, I was almost going to marry a non-denomination Christian (I’m a Catholic), at first I though he would be fine with
what I needed to do about bringing up our children as Catholics ,because we loved each other, he didn’t even want to think or talk about it.
I’m no longer with him for many reasons other than that one, but leaving him was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

I know that being married and having a child, its not as simple as what I had to do.

I hope you can work it out.

God bless

 

[AnotherChance]

First you have to understand that stabbing blow suffered by her family at the hands of a man who was supposed to help at the hour of need, instead stabbing them through the heart with the devils septor.

Next…the art of compromise. The both of you have to compromise. You pick on GOD parent, and she picks the other…she cant have it both ways. No way JOSE! She didnt make that baby on her own. So sit and compromise.

Whereas I appreciate your empathy over the circumstances of the grandmother’s death, I don’t think the OP’s wife needs to keep suffering the consequences of prior generations’ conflicts. Even if we take the family legend at face value and assume that the priest was acting out of line, I have to doubt if the OP’s wife was severely affected by this. She won’t even give her own husband’s Church a second chance, because of a story she has heard repeated through the years that she doubtfully experienced firsthand? As I stated before we have a similar family legend about why our family left the Catholic Church, but I have always taken it with a grain of salt since I was not there to hear all of the details and both sides of the story.

Greg Popcak made some comments recently on his radio show about a similar situation. I was struck by how he said this kind of issue is often more about the non-Catholic spouse being stubborn and unwilling to leave their comfort zone, rather than truly being about faith or religion. Both he and his wife have great advice about how to help a marriage survive when one spouse is not giving at all. exceptionalmarriages.com/radio.htm

 

[UtSuShImI]

Half of her family was Catholic until a grandmother who got married outside of the Church “without permission” was dying and the local priest(s) refused to give her Last Rites (Sacrament of the Dying and Sick)…but he would do it if they paid $3,000.00!

It seems it was the priests fault. It’s like buying Indulgence. Nice way to make money.
Why blame your wife? It’s not her fault. It’s the priest’s. The priest destroyed her trust on YOUR church. Don’t blame your wife. Second chance?
Why is there even a Sacrament of the Dying and Sick when the only one who can save you is God and your connection with him?

 

[Polycarp1]

Half of her family was Catholic until a grandmother who got married outside of the Church “without permission” was dying and the local priest(s) refused to give her Last Rites (Sacrament of the Dying and Sick)…but he would do it if they paid $3,000.00!

Sounds like a Jack Schick comic book!

 

[lovin_the_beach]

Thanks everyone for your advice and prayers. We’ve decided on baptizing our child Catholic. It almost didn’t happen because we had to visit someone’s house (somebody from the parish) to watch a video with bad acting about the sacrament. It was a surprise and she got upset again because of another hoop she has to jump through. We went anyway and they were able to explain a lot to her. I’m having one of my family be the godparent with the other 2 being witnesses. Things are better now and she’s not as upset about it anymore.

Again, thank you all for your help. God bless you all.

 

[shumakerm]

I know this is an old post, but a book I recommend is Double Belonging: Interchurch Families and Christian Unity by George Kilcourse. Kilcourse is a priest of the archdiocese of Louisville, holds a Ph.D. from Fordham University. He is professor of theology at Bellarmine College, Louisville, KY.