Protestants: Do you ever confess your sins to another person?

[PC_Master]

DrPiano> As a protestant (largely), I can tell you something God has revealed to me. First, confession to a priest is not scriptural – plain and simple. It’s not even in line with Christ’s teachings (which clearly come before the traditions of the Catholic church).

Like everything else in scripture, however, there is a reason that confession of sins is advocated in a certain context. That reason, as I believe God has revealed it to me, is first and foremost a matter of battling the ego. Secondly, it’s something which can help build bonds with others in unity of trying to be more like Christ.

Bear in mind, the biblical model really doesn’t focus on action. I honestly don’t think God cares how much you confess to your priest or whomever, if your heart isn’t right – and I’d dare anyone to tell me that they’ve confessed every sin they’ve ever committed with a repentant heart. The reality is that as people, we often sin. If confession (and subsequently rosary prayers and such other non-biblical penancy actions) is required for us to be forgiven of those sins, we’re in a whole heap of trouble (that is, every single person on the planet, including devout Catholics).

Confession of sins should be handled with care – you can’t confess to just anyone. Even in small groups, true friendships are often not formed. It takes a close bond to be so open, because we all have “deep, dark secrets” that we’re afraid to tell anyone about. It’s one of the most difficult things to find – a relationship where you can be comfortable with being so vulnerable. That sort of trust doesn’t come easily. I can say, however, that when you find someone you can trust so implicitly, it’s a wonderful thing to be able to share who you are, faults and all, with that person. It’s an incredibly strengthening thing which I believe was intended by God to be such.

Remember, everything in scripture was given for a reason, and that reason usually is because it’s of benefit to us in some way. The trick is figuring out what that benefit is.

water> It isn’t the sacrament (a misused term) that’s benefitted you. It’s the humility that you have experienced because of exposing your faults. That’s a work of God, pure and simple. Overcoming your flaws doesn’t make you holy. To be holy, is to be “set apart” (as opposed to righteous, perfect, or sinless), and in the case of an imperfect human being, it’s only something that we can move in the direction of.

No matter how much you confess, I guarantee you’ll have left something out. It’s fortunate that God doesn’t need to hear you say what your sins are in order to forgive them. That was taken care of about 2000 years ago by Jesus’ sacrifice for us. It’s done. Speaking your sins does one, very beneficial, thing – it makes you aware of your frailties, so that you’ll truly understand that you need help. It’s a change in you, which then allows God to work with you, to mold you into what he wants you to be (albeit slowly, due to our difficulty in realizing our flaws).

It’s just like what Paul wrote about the OT law – the law was given only to expose sin. Its purpose was not to bind us, or condemn us, but to expose our imperfections, so that we have a guide to learn from, so that we can become closer to God.

 

[mirandajb]

Hey All,

I’m a protestant (currently at least) and one of my frustrations is that I don’t have anyone that I can confess to - especially my “secret” sins (you know, the ones I do that only I know about).

The more I’ve come to learn about the Sacrament of Reconcilliation in the Catholic Church, the more I’ve longed for something similar. It’s one of the things that has moved me closer to possibly becoming Catholic.

Why don’t you then…This Forum will surely help you get there. In the meantime, why don’t you sneak into a Catholic confessional and tell the priest that you are not a Catholic but would like to make a confession. How’s that for a sneak preview, or foretaste of Catholicism?
God bless.

 

[Kitty_Chan]

I didnt think you could sneak into a confessional if you were not Catholic?? Since you cant have the Euchrstt etc.

 

[Kitty_Chan]

However, I was more commenting on my personal experience that when confession has been at all encouraged, it hasn’t been very practical or “safe.”

Just wanna make sure Im getting you. Are you saying that when it comes up to do confession, for whatever reason its not practical or 'safe" to do so?

If you want a hint on confession before the Lord. Think of this, you can ask the mountain to fall on you, but you cannot hide from Him. You are only fooling yourself by confessing and then repeat. He knows your heart, He knows what you want to say, He wants **you **to acknowledge it, to confess it. Really think about that if you will. Hes standing patiently waiting for you to begin. And thats not easy, taking that step, but if we call Him Lord at some point we have to trust Him.

 

[jmcrae]

Yes, I’ve confessed to God - and I’m one of those who finds it “easy.” Too easy really. Its so easy to sin and then say “I’m really sorry, please forgive me and help me not to do it again” - and then go right back and do the very same thing.

Yes - it’s not very painful to keep your sins inside your head and share them only with God. And it’s pretty easy to backslide when it’s so easy to confess - not much incentive to quit sinning - and although we know God hears us, it’s kind of hard to hear Him - even if He wanted to share some tips with us on how to become more holy, when you’re alone in your room, it’s not easy to distinguish between His voice and one’s own thoughts.

Sharing them with another human being is definitely scary, though - you’d remember doing that, and it would give you pause, when you went to do that sin again, to think of having to confess it to that person again.

As for confessing to a pastor - I’ve thought about that. I think there is one at my church who might be good at listening to it, but it just isn’t really encouraged all that much - so its easy to just let it slide and not bother. She seems so busy anyway, I don’t know if I could get an appointment with her. I keep telling myself I should (and that I should seek some spiritual direction from this person) but I just never get around to it.

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a schedule on the wall, where you could just go in at a certain time, and you’d know the person was there to help you, without having to make an appointment ahead of time. Sure, there might be a line-up at the person’s door, but you’d know that you’d have your chance to be heard, when it came to your turn.

However, I was more commenting on my personal experience that when confession has been at all encouraged, it hasn’t been very practical or “safe.”

It’d be even more cool if, say, there was a little room with a partition, and you could go on one side, and the person hearing you was on the other side, and they’d be able to hear your confession and give you good advice without even knowing who you are, or being able to tell on you even if they wanted to, because they have to take a vow of silence …

 

[jmcrae]

I didnt think you could sneak into a confessional if you were not Catholic?? Since you cant have the Euchrstt etc.

They can’t give you the Absolution, because you’re not Catholic, but they can listen to you, and they can give you good advice.

 

[mirandajb]

They can’t give you the Absolution, because you’re not Catholic, but they can listen to you, and they can give you good advice.

I am sure a Catholic priest is empowered to give Absolution even to non Catholics…but the person must be repentant of course. The Bible does request us to confess our sins to one another…so why can’t a non Catholic confess to a Catholic priest? I know of Catholic priests to be compassionate. This is one way, we can reach out to our separated brothers. Any priests want to confirm this.

Kittychan, the Eucharist is a different thing altogether. I am of the strong opinion that The Eucharist is strictly for Catholics because we believe in the Real Presence whereas for the Protestants it is merely symbolic

 

[Smber2c]

I am sure a Catholic priest is empowered to give Absolution even to non Catholics…but the person must be repentant of course. The Bible does request us to confess our sins to one another…so why can’t a non Catholic confess to a Catholic priest? I know of Catholic priests to be compassionate. This is one way, we can reach out to our separated brothers. Any priests want to confirm this.

I’d also love confirmation on this. I’ve witnessed this before, but didn’t know the whole situation. All I knew is it was a protestant girl about to start RCIA who sincerly wanted to confess and have her sins absolved.

But whether this is normal, if the priest had a dispensation of some sort, or if he was breaking rules I’ve no idea.

 

[Smber2c]

water> It isn’t the sacrament (a misused term) that’s benefitted you. It’s the humility that you have experienced because of exposing your faults. That’s a work of God, pure and simple.

Overcoming your flaws doesn’t make you holy. To be holy, is to be “set apart” (as opposed to righteous, perfect, or sinless), and in the case of an imperfect human being, it’s only something that we can move in the direction of.

No matter how much you confess, I guarantee you’ll have left something out.

Hey PC Master. I agree with much of what you said but there were a few obvious disagreements that basically fall on a Catholic/Protestant line.

Reconciliation is a sacrament. In this sacrament penitants come to a Priest who is present for Jesus and confesses every unforgiven mortal sin that they can recall, giving frequency if possible. The grace recieved in absolution is real and stregnthens the penitant. It also washes away all their sins even those that you may have inadvertantly left out. So by your definition of holy, then yeah after confession people are pretty close to holy (not perfect, but certainly sinless ).

I’m sure most Protestant confessions may work quite differently. There seems much less and emphasis on God’s bestowing grace and forgiving the fogotten sins at any one moment - at least from what I’ve experienced. I’ve usually witnessed sporadic, going to God when a past sin comes to mind and offer it then and there. (which is a good thing ) In addition we had sort of sharing circle in college. Catholics and protestants (about 6 guys). We met regularly and talked about struggles, especially habitual sins. It was good. Certainly not a sacrament, but it did do more of the points that you (PC Master) stress overcoming flaws and leaning humility. When I’m in Reconciliation I humility seems so much a given that I seldome think about it. It’s about total honesty, sorrow for sin, forgiveness, and finally grace.

 

[jmcrae]

I’d also love confirmation on this. I’ve witnessed this before, but didn’t know the whole situation. All I knew is it was a protestant girl about to start RCIA who sincerly wanted to confess and have her sins absolved.

He could have given her the Absolution because in her heart she was Catholic, and was already on the path to the Sacraments of the Church - an exception is possible for this, although normally we would recommend that a person complete the first two Periods of RCIA first (out of four in total), and receive the Call to Full Communion from the Bishop first, before going to First Confession, just so that they can be more spiritually prepared to make a good First Confession - but he could have given her the Absolution based on the fact that she was in RCIA - and also a reasonable certainty that she is going to make it through and actually become a Catholic. I don’t know what would happen to someone if they made a Sacramental Confession as part of RCIA, and then made a choice to not complete RCIA - they’d have one foot permanently stuck in the door, I think.

But for someone who is still practicing the Protestant faith, and doesn’t intend to convert, no - they would not receive the Absolution, because they are not even open to the idea of what a Sacrament is.

 

[jmcrae]

I am sure a Catholic priest is empowered to give Absolution even to non Catholics -

Not unless they have left the practice of their Protestant religion, and are in RCIA for the purpose of converting. Otherwise, they are not under his jurisdiction, and he has no authority to give them anything, other than just as a friend giving advice.

 

[Kitty_Chan]

I am sure a Catholic priest is empowered to give Absolution even to non Catholics…but the person must be repentant of course. The Bible does request us to confess our sins to one another…so why can’t a non Catholic confess to a Catholic priest? I know of Catholic priests to be compassionate. This is one way, we can reach out to our separated brothers. Any priests want to confirm this.

Kittychan, the Eucharist is a different thing altogether. I am of the strong opinion that The Eucharist is strictly for Catholics because we believe in the Real Presence whereas for the Protestants it is merely symbolic

Well, I like your answer better just kidding jmcrae.

I asked because like the Eucharist, confession seemed a “members only” deal. Now if thats not true then the Catholic church ought to promote it, or at least if could be another brick out of the wall (sorry seeing Roger Waters next weekend) but another brick taken away that stops understanding between Christians.

ps as for the symbolic/real I have walked around that several times, to no conclusion, I have a understanding that seems to conflict with the symbol. Perhaps I will start a thread or pm, I will think about it.

As for confession, well, I said it earlier (thats supposed to be slightly punny) ahh well, its late . . . .

 

[fellowChristian]

Hi All
I do because Scripture says that I should.

James 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Just because I ask for forgiveness from someone I’ve done wrong too doesn’t mean God has forgiven me.

1Jn 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

I believe that the reason we need to ask for forgiveness from others has two purposes,
1 To help hold us accountable, nobody likes to admit their wrong or that they have done wrong.
2 If we admit our wrong to the other person, they will be less likely to hold a grudge against us, thus not causing them to sin in ways such as anger, slander, or gossip etc.

How come you don’t read the first two verses before James 5:15?

James 5:14

14 Is any man sick among you? Let him bring in the priests of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.

15 And the **prayer of faith **shall save the sick man: and the Lord shall raise him up: and if he be in sins, they shall be forgiven him.

16 Confess **therefore** your sins one to another: and pray one for another, that you may be saved. For the continual prayer of a just man availeth much.

 

[betsygrace]

My experience as a Prostestant with confession to other believers is that it’s encouraged, but rarely formalized. Because of that, many times it just doesn’t happen. I think many of us Protestants informally share our sins with each other in the form of requests for intercessory prayer for things that we struggle with. But to be honest, lots of times we keep more embarrassing sins to ourselves. You must have an extremely strong level of trust with someone to overcome the fear of rejection if you reveal all of your sins to them. There is great vulnerability there. I think sometimes there is a tendency to pretend like everything is just fine, because everyone else seems to be doing well spiritually, and you don’t want to be the only one with problems. My mom is probably the only person in the world who knows the full range of sins I’ve committed, although close friends and family know almost all of them. For awhile when I was in college, my roommate and I tried to keep each other accountable, but found that we were pretty rotten at it, because we were perhaps too soft, more of a “There, there, don’t worry about it; nobody’s perfect” approach I think many times Protestants do struggle alone against sins, because there is no one to share them with. I have a good friend who’s not even a Christian at all, who really surprised me with something he said awhile back. His dad recently converted to Catholicism, and he thought his dad really wasn’t taking full advantage of the availability of confession. It was something he strongly desired to participate in, even as an unbeliever! So to sum up, I do have a little envy for the fact that Catholics get to go to confession (although the idea did seem mildly terrifying to me at first!) My return question for Catholics (as people who have experience in the confessional) is how helpful is confession for overcoming sins in your life? I mean of course, absolution is the main point, but does the priest ever give you useful advice/courses of action to take/help, or does he simply forgive you? And secondly, do you find that sometimes you will refrain from a sin, because you don’t want to have to confess it later? I’m curious to hear what you have to say!

 

[queenofpeace]

My experience as a Prostestant with confession to other believers is that it’s encouraged, but rarely formalized. Because of that, many times it just doesn’t happen. I think many of us Protestants informally share our sins with each other in the form of requests for intercessory prayer for things that we struggle with. But to be honest, lots of times we keep more embarrassing sins to ourselves. You must have an extremely strong level of trust with someone to overcome the fear of rejection if you reveal all of your sins to them. There is great vulnerability there. I think sometimes there is a tendency to pretend like everything is just fine, because everyone else seems to be doing well spiritually, and you don’t want to be the only one with problems. My mom is probably the only person in the world who knows the full range of sins I’ve committed, although close friends and family know almost all of them. For awhile when I was in college, my roommate and I tried to keep each other accountable, but found that we were pretty rotten at it, because we were perhaps too soft, more of a “There, there, don’t worry about it; nobody’s perfect” approach I think many times Protestants do struggle alone against sins, because there is no one to share them with. I have a good friend who’s not even a Christian at all, who really surprised me with something he said awhile back. His dad recently converted to Catholicism, and he thought his dad really wasn’t taking full advantage of the availability of confession. It was something he strongly desired to participate in, even as an unbeliever! So to sum up, I do have a little envy for the fact that Catholics get to go to confession (although the idea did seem mildly terrifying to me at first!) My return question for Catholics (as people who have experience in the confessional) is how helpful is confession for overcoming sins in your life? I mean of course, absolution is the main point, but does the priest ever give you useful advice/courses of action to take/help, or does he simply forgive you? And secondly, do you find that sometimes you will refrain from a sin, because you don’t want to have to confess it later? I’m curious to hear what you have to say!

The priest I went to didn’t absolve my sin but he did counsel/advice me that after the session though no absolution was given to me I was able to feel some comforts. This made me better understand & appreciate the sacrament of confession.

 

[Kay_Cee]

These are excellent questions!

My return question for Catholics (as people who have experience in the confessional) is how helpful is confession for overcoming sins in your life?

*Extremely *helpful, especially for those pesky habitual sins. It may take a long time to overcome certain bad habits, but I’ve found that frequent confession, and the grace Christ grants through it, is sometimes the only thing that works to eradicate them. At least this has been true in my case.

I mean of course, absolution is the main point, but does the priest ever give you useful advice/courses of action to take/help, or does he simply forgive you?

Quite often I’m given all of the above and have found it helpful.

And secondly, do you find that sometimes you will refrain from a sin, because you don’t want to have to confess it later? I’m curious to hear what you have to say!

Yes, that has happened. It’s not a very good reason for not committing a sin–our motivation should be love of God. But, hey, if that reason alone is enough to stop me, I’ll take it. Better to not sin for that reason than to sin.

 

[Michael_Howard]

My experience as a Prostestant with confession to other believers is that it’s encouraged, but rarely formalized. Because of that, many times it just doesn’t happen. I think many of us Protestants informally share our sins with each other in the form of requests for intercessory prayer for things that we struggle with. But to be honest, lots of times we keep more embarrassing sins to ourselves. You must have an extremely strong level of trust with someone to overcome the fear of rejection if you reveal all of your sins to them. There is great vulnerability there. I think sometimes there is a tendency to pretend like everything is just fine, because everyone else seems to be doing well spiritually, and you don’t want to be the only one with problems. My mom is probably the only person in the world who knows the full range of sins I’ve committed, although close friends and family know almost all of them. For awhile when I was in college, my roommate and I tried to keep each other accountable, but found that we were pretty rotten at it, because we were perhaps too soft, more of a “There, there, don’t worry about it; nobody’s perfect” approach I think many times Protestants do struggle alone against sins, because there is no one to share them with. I have a good friend who’s not even a Christian at all, who really surprised me with something he said awhile back. His dad recently converted to Catholicism, and he thought his dad really wasn’t taking full advantage of the availability of confession. It was something he strongly desired to participate in, even as an unbeliever! So to sum up, I do have a little envy for the fact that Catholics get to go to confession (although the idea did seem mildly terrifying to me at first!) My return question for Catholics (as people who have experience in the confessional) is how helpful is confession for overcoming sins in your life? I mean of course, absolution is the main point, but does the priest ever give you useful advice/courses of action to take/help, or does he simply forgive you? And secondly, do you find that sometimes you will refrain from a sin, because you don’t want to have to confess it later? I’m curious to hear what you have to say!

Nice post and heartfelt, thank you

 

[SORROWS]

Betsygrace -

I LOVE Confession! You are renewed after Confession to change your old ways and start fresh. The more often you go - the better and easier to stop certain bad habits or repeat sins.

The Priests will give advice or a moral talk and it makes such a difference. They help you become a better Catholic and a better person.

:angel1:

 

[betsygrace]

Hi Catholics!
Thanks for all the responses. I’ve enjoyed reading them, and it gives me joy to hear of the peace and strength you seem to find through confession!

 

[jmcrae]

My experience as a Prostestant with confession to other believers is that it’s encouraged, but rarely formalized. Because of that, many times it just doesn’t happen.

That’s easy to understand - Confession is difficult, and if something difficult is optional, then most people just won’t do it.

I think many of us Protestants informally share our sins with each other in the form of requests for intercessory prayer for things that we struggle with. But to be honest, lots of times we keep more embarrassing sins to ourselves. You must have an extremely strong level of trust with someone to overcome the fear of rejection if you reveal all of your sins to them. There is great vulnerability there.

Yes, there is, and especially if there is no Sacramental Seal - your sins could be revealed to the whole world if the person hearing your Confession later thinks (for any reason whatsoever, including wondering whether she gave you good advice and asking someone else what they would have told you) that someone else needed to know.

…]

I have a good friend who’s not even a Christian at all, who really surprised me with something he said awhile back. His dad recently converted to Catholicism, and he thought his dad really wasn’t taking full advantage of the availability of confession. It was something he strongly desired to participate in, even as an unbeliever! So to sum up, I do have a little envy for the fact that Catholics get to go to confession (although the idea did seem mildly terrifying to me at first!)

I’m scared every time I go - it’s a perfectly natural reaction.

My return question for Catholics (as people who have experience in the confessional) is how helpful is confession for overcoming sins in your life?

Very.

I mean of course, absolution is the main point, but does the priest ever give you useful advice/courses of action to take/help, or does he simply forgive you?

This depends on the priest. Younger priests in their first year tend not to give advice - they are still learning. But older priests, and those who have been around the block a few times are very open about letting you know what they think you should do in order to avoid committing the same sin again.

One particular incident I remember was when I had gotten myself backed into a corner by doing something really, really stupid to someone else. Confession was available that afternoon - not my regular priest, but I knew I was in trouble, so I went to Confession to that priest the same day, and I told him what my problem was, and what I had done. He gave me a step-by-step plan to get me back where I needed to be, so, after hearing the Absolution, and after completing my penance, I went straight away and I followed the steps he had given me to follow, exactly as he had given them, and a disastrous situation was turned around, and I was even made to look like a hero at the end of the whole thing - so yeah, they do give good advice, and if you follow it, your life will be vastly improved.

And secondly, do you find that sometimes you will refrain from a sin, because you don’t want to have to confess it later?

Definitely. I remember another time - different priest this time - I had been struggling with an obnoxious bad habit for about three years, and I was complaining about this in Confession, and the priest just said, “Well, come to me every week until you beat this habit,” and after the third week of this, he said, “Oh, are you still doing that?” and that was the cure, right there - the shame of having to go back to him and hear him say that again was greater than whatever it was that was motivating me to do this bad habit, and it was just as though a switch was turned off in my brain - I was never even tempted to do that bad habit again, after that, because every time the thought of it came into my head, so would his voice, saying, “Oh, are you still doing that?” and any temptation to do it just got washed away by the idea of having to confess it again.