Pulled away from RCIA

  • Thread starter Thread starter ForeverLost
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
F

ForeverLost

Guest
I have attempted RCIA 3 times, dropped out each time because something pulls me away, not sure what it is. I still go to the church and sit in silence and pray at the statue of the Virgin Mary, which gives me some comfort. But Christ is nowhere to be seen.

I have tried everything, but I hear nothing from Christ, and I feel nothing. Yet I pray at the statue of the Virgin Mary and I physically feel her.

I am simply giving up on the idea of attempting RCIA a 4th time…I just dont think its my calling…

Why the post…I suppose its a cry for help because I WANT to be catholic…but each time I try I am pulled away, and Christ seems to do nothing to pull me back…
 
ForeverLost said:
I have attempted RCIA 3 times, dropped out each time because something pulls me away, not sure what it is. I still go to the church and sit in silence and pray at the statue of the Virgin Mary, which gives me some comfort. But Christ is nowhere to be seen.

I have tried everything, but I hear nothing from Christ, and I feel nothing. Yet I pray at the statue of the Virgin Mary and I physically feel her.

I am simply giving up on the idea of attempting RCIA a 4th time…I just dont think its my calling…

Why the post…I suppose its a cry for help because I WANT to be catholic…but each time I try I am pulled away, and Christ seems to do nothing to pull me back…
Click to expand...
What pulled you away?

If its not too personal.
 
I will try to explain the best i can

The first time, I started going with my wife, she completed and was baptized. After about 3 months I just stopped going, I came to the point where watching football, hockey etc was more important, I thought “Oh, ill go next week, and make up for it” but never did

The second time, I only lasted a month or so until I started questioning believing something that i could not “see” (I am very much like doubting Thomas)

The third time, I was doing really well, and I don’t know why, I just…stopped going, I think its because I was becoming fed up with never being able to make a connection with Christ. I would try sitting in silence at the church so I could hear him call my name, or hear him speak with me, but never had it, its almost as if I believe in Christ, and want to hear him, but he’s not talking…and i become fed up of waiting…

Sometimes I wonder if its the devil doing his work…and i need to fight it and push myself to try again and fight any temptation NOT to see it through to completion…
 
ForeverLost said:
I will try to explain the best i can

The first time, I started going with my wife, she completed and was baptized. After about 3 months I just stopped going, I came to the point where watching football, hockey etc was more important, I thought “Oh, ill go next week, and make up for it” but never did

The second time, I only lasted a month or so until I started questioning believing something that i could not “see” (I am very much like doubting Thomas)

The third time, I was doing really well, and I don’t know why, I just…stopped going, I think its because I was becoming fed up with never being able to make a connection with Christ. I would try sitting in silence at the church so I could hear him call my name, or hear him speak with me, but never had it, its almost as if I believe in Christ, and want to hear him, but he’s not talking…and i become fed up of waiting…

Sometimes I wonder if its the devil doing his work…and i need to fight it and push myself to try again and fight any temptation NOT to see it through to completion…
Click to expand...
So, I think most people go through times when their faith is challenged. But what do you mean when you say you are looking for Christ to “speak” to you. Or when you say that you want to “hear him, but he’s not talking”?

Different people require different things. For example, I didn’t come to the Catholic Church as a child. I came to her as an adult, after being essentially agnostic or non-religious. And I got to her by applying critical thinking skills. I considered the question and the potential answers and decided that the Catholic Church had to be the answer.

But I don’t think I’ve ever felt that Jesus was speaking directly to me in the same way that two people converse.

Pax,
OA
 
Talk with your priest. He may be able to help you get over this hump in your life. If you really want to be Catholic, that’s the first step in getting there. Getting through RCIA should be the next step. It seems you lace accountability. Or there is something in your subconscience that’s pulling you out. You might have some reservations that need dealth with. Whatever it is, you need ot make up the parts of the RCIA that you missed. Also, a good spiritual director might be of some help.
 
ForeverLost said:
I will try to explain the best i can

The first time, I started going with my wife, she completed and was baptized. After about 3 months I just stopped going, I came to the point where watching football, hockey etc was more important, I thought “Oh, ill go next week, and make up for it” but never did

The second time, I only lasted a month or so until I started questioning believing something that i could not “see” (I am very much like doubting Thomas)

The third time, I was doing really well, and I don’t know why, I just…stopped going, I think its because I was becoming fed up with never being able to make a connection with Christ. I would try sitting in silence at the church so I could hear him call my name, or hear him speak with me, but never had it, its almost as if I believe in Christ, and want to hear him, but he’s not talking…and i become fed up of waiting…

Sometimes I wonder if its the devil doing his work…and i need to fight it and push myself to try again and fight any temptation NOT to see it through to completion…
Click to expand...
I taught RCIA for a number of years and what you went through is not at all unusual and happens to a lot of people. There is a very good reason for it.

There is a very powerful force who does not want you to finish and who in fact would throw up as many obstacles to you being received into the Church as he possibly could. I speak of course of the evil one, who in spite of managing to convince many that he does not exist is there and still up to no good.

He apparently loves coming after catechumans and candidates, especially those who can be easily persuaded not to continue along the path. He can brings doubts and uncertainties into your mind, make you doubt yourself and your decisions, harrass you, tempt you into believing things that you don’t etc etc.

It is also not at all uncommon for even very holy and spiritual people, Mother Theresa and Saint Bernadette come to mind, who experience something called the dark night of the soul when it feels that you have been completely abandoned by God. Totally cut off with no chance of ever joing him.

At times like that you need to realize that you are not alone in this. Talk to a Priest. Expalin your situation. He will know what to do and which direction you should take.

Don’t give up this beautiful gift that you have in front of you. Don’t give the evil one the pleasure of beating you. You can do it.

have faith and trust. The rest will come.

Take care my friend.
 
Mike30 said:
I taught RCIA for a number of years and what you went through is not at all unusual and happens to a lot of people. There is a very good reason for it.

There is a very powerful force who does not want you to finish and who in fact would throw up as many obstacles to you being received into the Church as he possibly could. I speak of course of the evil one, who in spite of managing to convince many that he does not exist is there and still up to no good.

He apparently loves coming after catechumans and candidates, especially those who can be easily persuaded not to continue along the path. He can brings doubts and uncertainties into your mind, make you doubt yourself and your decisions, harrass you, tempt you into believing things that you don’t etc etc.

It is also not at all uncommon for even very holy and spiritual people, Mother Theresa and Saint Bernadette come to mind, who experience something called the dark night of the soul when it feels that you have been completely abandoned by God. Totally cut off with no chance of ever joing him.

At times like that you need to realize that you are not alone in this. Talk to a Priest. Expalin your situation. He will know what to do and which direction you should take.

Don’t give up this beautiful gift that you have in front of you. Don’t give the evil one the pleasure of beating you. You can do it.

have faith and trust. The rest will come.

Take care my friend.
Click to expand...
THIS
 
I thought he was joining the Rosicrucians (Rosa Crux in Anglia) for a minute… to be Catholic, first meet God in your place (your heart), then in his place (the world, not the church) and then with the community (the church).

He doesnt seem to be talking to you… maybe he has little need, your doing OK… hes standing behind you nodding approval and you cant see him…
 
You say you feel close to the Virgin Mary – ask her to bring you closer to her Son. That is what Mary wants to do for ALL of us.

As far as not wanting to attempt RCIA a 4th time, well, I do think that the devil has a hand in this. He’s putting doubts into your head, he’s making you discouraged by convincing you that you don’t see, feel or hear Christ (we don’t SEE air, either, but we know it’s there!). Push through. Pray, pray and pray some more. Pick up a rosary and pray. Ask our Blessed Mother for help getting closer to her Beloved Son. Talk to a priest about what’s going on and ask what he would suggest.

Above all, I hope you will give RCIA another try, especially since you say that you do want to become Catholic. I will pray for you!
 
ForeverLost said:
Yet I pray at the statue of the Virgin Mary and I physically feel her.

I WANT to be catholic…but each time I try I am pulled away, and Christ seems to do nothing to pull me back…
Click to expand...
Dear friend, as stated already, the evil one wins each time you are prevented from being closer to Jesus.

But Christ is calling you and doing something amazing to pill you back - He is giving you His very own Mother! His Beloved Mother always brings hearts back home to Him. It is not possible for any of us to love her more than He loves her. Surely, He sent her to you because you connect with her . . . .and like a good momma, she will never give up on you and will gently lead you to her Son.

I’d encourage you to talk with the head of the RCIA group about your concerns and ask for special help. I once sponsored a young woman who had fear and doubt consume her the second she pulled into the parish parking lot. So knowing her issue, I met her outside each time and walked her in. She later told me that without that help, she would never have finished the program. Perhaps there is someone who lives nearby that won’t take your “um no, I don’t wanna go” excuses seriously and encourage you to get in the car???

I’ll be rooting for you and definitely praying
 
ForeverLost said:
I would try sitting in silence at the church so I could hear him call my name, or hear him speak with me, but never had it, its almost as if I believe in Christ, and want to hear him, but he’s not talking…and i become fed up of waiting
Click to expand...
You could use this apparent void to read and study the word. God speaks to us in the bible, and I find it comforting that I can just turn to His word whenever my mind can’t quite connect with Him otherwise.
 
Faith grows when we exercise it.

By faith I do *not *mean a leap in the dark as some would have it, but rather a step based on what your intellect tells you. Consolations of the sort you mention are nice, but sometimes God withholds them so we don’t become too dependent on them or love him just for his favors. Jesus wants you to exercise faith, and love him for his own sake.

Meanwhile, since you feel a connection with our Lady, I’d ask her to obtain for you the gift of faith. Do you pray the Hail Mary?
 
What kind of religious background are you coming from, if any? Can you trace it through your whole life, please, if it’s changed?
 
ForeverLost,

It’s a miracle that you’ve hung on to try RCIA 4 times!!! The grace of God is working in you to keep pulling you back to the door to try again! If your not dealing with a big theological problem of sorts, that’s good. Discipline yourself by resisting the urge to give up like Jesus did all the while he was being tortured. Jesus has NEVER spoken to me. The closest I’ve had to hearing God is a little urge to share something with someone, or when I’m being stubborn to relax and say I’m sorry. Your doing great. Don’t give up. There is, in fact, light at the end of the tunnel for you my friend. I promise you that Christ hears every prayer and has high hopes for you. If your praying to mother Mary with fruitfulness, she only is what she is because of Christ. Think about that. Faith can be a huge leap at times, take it from me. Pray for more faith. If you can’t hear Christ’s voice, don’t despair. There are not many people in recorded history that have heard God speak. The first step of the assent to heaven is to have faith. Faith is believing without seeing or hearing.
 
I’m not sure how big a help I can be but I’ll try…

When I started rcia and even the first several few times I attended mass I had trouble believing Christ was really present in the Eucharist. I’ve found that the problem was that I was not able to share in it since I hadn’t been initiated into the church. Throughout the rcia process I’ve come to feel like a real participant in the Catholic Church and I know that because I’m about to be an official member of it that Christ really is present since I will soon be able to participate in that.

For me the problem was I didn’t initially feel included, but I after this experience I do. Therefore I can share and then believe in everything that anyone else can.

I don’t really know you enough to say this definitively, but maybe you might be going through something similar.
 
I would also suggest you read “Divine Mercy of My Soul,” the Diary of St Faustina. Jesus spoke directly to her. It is very powerful. It changed my life and helped me to feel closer to Jesus. Maybe it can help you too.
 
From what you’ve said about not following thru with RCIA, I believe in your heart you know you have offended Jesus. And it sounds as tho you just can’t bear to look at him since you know this. But with Mary, she isn’t God, and therefore it wasn’t against her, and your relationship is a personal one. Mothers always are understanding as well.

My suggestion is to admit the offense to Jesus. Be honest with him and admit your mistake. Come clean. Than ask Jesus to have mercy on you a sinner. Ask for his help and ask him also to come into your heart and be your personal saviour and friend. Then ask for his forgiveness.
He will forgive you but you must be sincere and genuine about following him.

One more idea is to get a green scapular of Mary, have it blessed and put it in your wallet.
Here are some of the benefits of it:

… Conversion of those who do not have the faith <<<<==================
… Reconciliation to the Church for those who have lost/strayed from the faith
… Assurance of a happy death
… Strengthening of the faith for those already in the Church
… Protection from Satan for those who wear or promote the scapular

And pray this prayer faithfully everyday: Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.

You find a free one by googling “green scapular”.

Just a suggestion.
 
fred_conty said:
. . . I believe in your heart you know you have offended Jesus. And it sounds as tho you just can’t bear to look at him . . . .
Click to expand...
Wow! Fred, your Jesus must be demanding, emotional and difficult to please! Holy cow!

To the OP, this statement about offending God is not true. There is NOTHING any one of us can do to make Jesus love us less or to make Jesus love us more. Jesus is pure love. In His mercy, He extended an invitation to you, and in His love, He allows you free will to make your own choice. Regardless, Jesus still loves you - even if you decide not to become Catholic, Jesus is not going to pout and be upset by it like human beings might be who don’t get their way. I personally hope you do make another attempt at RCIA and become a member of the Church . . .I think Our Lady will help you if you ask.
 
Suslar,
Thank you for your response. But we will have to agree to disagree.

Just a thought.
 
Most of us have periods of difficulty in prayer, during which we don’t feel connected with Jesus. But that doesn’t mean we should give up. Persistence, discipline, and fanning the flames of our desire to connect with Him by studying the faith and reflecting on the Scriptures are important and will ultimately yield fruit.
Maybe explorig this website will help to give you some insight and help with what you are going through: rcspiritualdirection.com
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top