Thank you for all your respnses. You see, I’m asking these questions for my wife. She grew up and is still influenced by her Mexican Catholic upbringing which constantly reminded her that she cannot have children because God is punishing her. God has not “blessed” her with children because she is a “bad person”. And, unfortunatley, I have to constantly teach her that the notion is not true for some of the reasons you guys gave here. Remember all the Saints who were tortured and murdered? Christ, Himself, was crucified, died and was buried.
Now my wife is going blind at 31 , due to her diabetes. Now we can say “offer it up” and “we must suffer” a million times my friends–but could you tell that to my sweet 31 year old wife? Easy for you to say! You are not the one who will be deprived of the beautiful gift of seeing the world, of seeing the faces of her son and mother and friends and husband anymore. Could you tell her that she must “offer it up”?
I am terribly sorry for the sufferings of you and your wife. To lose ones sight is indeed a terrible thing.
I don’t know that we, as adults can really “tell” another adult what to do. The best we can do is to be near to them, Love them, hold them and pray with them. Your wife is 31 and hopefully will still have many productive years ahead of her - in spite of her sufferings. What we can do is to be acepting of our sufferings and try to turn them to good purpose. In this way we DO offer them up, by turning dispair into Love.
Perhaps my experience will offer you some hope and insight. I am the primary caregiver for my Alzheimer’s diseased wife. In a very real sense, my wife is entirely gone, but the shell remains, moves, talks, eats etc.
Yet through this experience, I have grown. Yes, we “offer it up” because this is what God has sent us. It is horribly sad, and yet there is good in it. I’ve learned more patience, forbearance, love, and sympathy than in all of the years preceding it. My dear wife knows too that she will never be alone. That I won’t desert her (she’d been alone form amny years before we married). She know that she is safe. And, in point of fact, it was this disease that led indirectly to our returning fully to The Church and sacraments.
Our Love has grown deeper even as she drifted slowly into the foggy mists. Yours can too.
You and your wife will learn many things as you move forward in your life. She will lose her sight, but will still know the voices of those whe loves. She will still have a husband who is devoted to her, who wishes only to see her smile and hear her laugh and listen as she sings around the house…You will learn that the house must be kept in good order, so that your lady remains safe in her own home. Together you will learn that there are many things you can - and will need to - do together that you did not do or did not appreciate before, like shopping and cooking.
You will come to understand even more deeply that every day is special and precious, and you will both revel even more fully, in your love and marriage as you hold each other at the end of the day and thank God for another day together and drift off to sleep.
Through all of this, with prayer and praise to our dear and Loving Father in heaven, you and your beautiful wife will find humor, closeness, joy, and tremendous growth in Spirit, and in Holiness. Why? Because this “suffering” is the source of great blessing. Indeed without it, such spiritual growth is nearly impossible.
None of this is intended to belittle the problems you will face, for the diabetes will likely not be satisfied to take only her sight. There will be more struggles and tears and sorrow. There will be times when you wonder, just as you are now, why - and what’s the point. That is when you must let the details go, in complete reliance on God, and just put one foot in front of the other. That is when you pray, together and alone, because you’ve done all you can and the rest is up to God.
Keep the faith and He will see you through and see you both home to His arms in heaven.
May God continue to bless you on your journey.
Peace
James
