Purity in relationships

[Redwood]

My boyfriend, we’ll call him ‘Bob’, has given up his desires for physical intimacies with me…

He has proposed that we could at least ‘talk’ about what we would wish to- in other words, physical intimacies, such as to arouse ourselves and in this way, become physically intimate without actual actions.

He says to show him through complying with this- talking dirty with one another, arousing ourselves and forming these images in our mind- convinced that there is no harm in it.

Please read 3 of your statements above which I have quoted.

They contradict each other!

If your boyfriend has proposed to talk dirty and talk about lusts, etc., then he has NOT “given up his desires for physical intimacies” with you, even if he has said he has. Please don’t be blinded. This is another one of those red flags!

 

[old_english]

Please read 3 of your statements above which I have quoted.

They contradict each other!

If your boyfriend has proposed to talk dirty and talk about lusts, etc., then he has NOT “given up his desires for physical intimacies” with you, even if he has said he has. Please don’t be blinded. This is another one of those red flags!

Thank you for pointing this out to me- I suppose what I meant by physical intimacies was just physical actions, but I have also realized that these include talking dirty and such- which we have both agreed not to do.

 

[Claire_from_DE]

Just a word of warning from someone who was stupidly naive when younger, please don’t be completely alone with your boyfriend in a car (except for short drives), in an empty house, on a camping trip by yourselves, etc. Even with the firmest of intentions, we are weak. You will find it difficult to forgive yourself if you choose your boyfriend over your Lord.

 

[Redwood]

Just a word of warning from someone who was stupidly naive when younger, please don’t be completely alone with your boyfriend in a car (except for short drives), in an empty house, on a camping trip by yourselves, etc. Even with the firmest of intentions, we are weak. You will find it difficult to forgive yourself if you choose your boyfriend over your Lord.

Oh, yes, I support this advice.

 

[Redwood]

Thank you for pointing this out to me- I suppose what I meant by physical intimacies was just physical actions, but I have also realized that these include talking dirty and such- which we have both agreed not to do.

Thank you for being open to my responses. I have been praying for you, in my rosaries and also when I make visits to the Blessed Sacrament

God bless you, dear sister in Christ.

Always a friend,
Redwood

May the Lord bless us, protect us from all evil, and bring us to everlasting life. Amen.

 

[TheQuestioner]

I will pray for you, and I suggest we all pray for Bob as well, for him to come closer to God, for His good, and for joy not just spiritually, but also for joy in his life. (no need for a name, God knows his name). Bob may have been manipulative, or misinformed, but he is still a brother in Christ.