Purity, Modesty, and How We Dress At Mass

[MissRose73]

After watching the homily, it felt that there was a lot more emphasis on women compared to men. Both genders can have impure thoughts. Both genders can stand to dress a bit better to come to Mass especially in the warmer weather months. I have no issues with longer shorts that come to the knee if a nice shirt is worn with them, but any shorts above the knee have no business at Mass regardless of age & gender.

If more people came dressed in a way asked for in most typical US business offices that require some form of business casual and/or business professional dress, that will also show more respect at Mass.

Parents and other adults those involved in the lives of young people should also set a good example in how they dress for Mass. Young people (especially teens) should be able sacrifice a few hours one day a week without their jeans or track suits and tees & tennis shoes once a week for something that is nice.

I am not asking to go back to the days prior to the late 1960’s/early 1970’s where dressing up fell on the wayside for the most part. But we can give a better effort to look decent and not looking like we are ready to go to the club or a party, or even working in the yard.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

Lol, it’s not so much impure thoughts when a middle-aged man displays his knotty, hairy legs in a baggy pair of cargo shorts but more a matter of… :bigyikes:

 

[utah_rose]

Not sure, but I’m pretty sure it’s a mortal sin to wear socks with sandles, and an automatic excommunication if it’s socks and flip flops.

While do agree women need to dress more modestly, I’d like priests to step into our shoes and see what we’re up against and offer us some helpful advice.

I try very hard, and as a result, I have very few pieces of clothing because it’s so difficult to find modest clothing, especially in the “Sunday Best” category. Honestly, I can dress more modestly in pants and a hoodie, but I’m not “dressed-up enough for Church.” Throw us a bone here!

You’re right about finding the right clothes! It’s very difficult to buy modest tops—either they are tight or low cut, and the pants are tight. Sometimes though you can find some nice tops at a second hand store.

I’ve bought some loose slacks and try to find the most modest tops, but it’s not easy and when you’re a senior on Social Security you can’t afford to pay some of the high prices.

It seems that years ago, when we had to wear dresses and skirts, it was pretty easy to find acceptable things at reasonable prices.

I notice now though even at the department stores, not many carry dresses or skirts anymore, and if they do they’re either short or with a split in the side.

At our Church the Eucharistic ministers wear white robes, and that seems to solve the problem of what else the ladies may be wearing, although most of them are older.

This may solve some of the problems at Church with women Eucharistic Ministers or lectors.

 

[novusCatholic]

Check out your post local, Sailor Kenshin! Are you a thorn between two roses?!

MissRose73
Sailor Kenshin
utah rose

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

A thorn who wears White Stag clothing…

 

[mellowcalico]

I’ll ditto what’s been said about it being hard to find clothes. The last summer dress I bought for Church I ended up also buying a cardigan sweater to wear over it (it’s so low cut). But even then I spend a lot of my time trying to move the sweater over my chest–it’s distracting. Most dresses in price range in recent years have been short/low cut/etc. Although I think there is a trend now for super long dresses–maxi dresses (but the top part is tank-top like).

I can’t stand fashion. For all that people say about there being more choice and “personal style” today, I just don’t see it. Most women’s tops are form fitted (which is really embarrassing for us “chest-endowed” women). If I get something I don’t feel I am “popping out of,” it ends up being super baggy around the waist and arms (sometimes exposing my bra under my arms).

Pants aren’t much better as they are cut so low on the hips anymore. I hate that the top of my undergarments show when I sit down in these types of pants (so I try to find super long tops–which also aren’t in style it seems).

I admit it, in the summer, I just wear jeans and a nice, crew neck short sleeve sweater top to Church and I sit in the back. I pretty much blend in anyway that way since so many other people wear jeans. I don’t feel like I am popping out of anything, showing my undies or struggling to keep my clothing covering the right places–so I can concentrate on Mass. But then it’s considered disrespectful since I am dressed casually It really does feel like the choices are modesty or casual.

Someone mentioned Penny’s. I don’t have one near me, but I might have to make a special trip to check them out (haven’t been there in years). I hope it’s the answer to my dilemma!

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

Take a look at some of the QVC lines on your innerweb: Susan Graver, Denim & Co.

I sound like an infomercial but when I have to go to a wedding or a Bishop’s brunch that’s the first place I look.

They have a really wide range of sizes too.

 

[ilovemaine]

I’m ecstatic I went to Chico’s and I was shocked how nice yet modest the clothes were. I didn’t care for the price but logically speaking it’s better to pay $10-33 for a nice top than buy a really bad one for cheap. I kind of felt odd in there as the women were 50+ but honestly the clothes weren’t “old lady” ish. Other than some of the pants (like the “mom” jeans that go up to my neck) all of the tops were very nice and well fitting. In fact, us blessed women endowed with curves and a chest can fit into the sizes there well. If youre a 10/12 its perfect. I’m donating 90% of my wardrobe to charitalt (my clothes are decent, never caught myself falling out of anything) and shopping there from now on. I’ll also try the QVC. However, I can’t agree with someone who suggested JCP. I never find anything actually nice and fashionable. It’s either plain tee or some see-through thing, and honestly people…I just can’t be bothered with undershirts, I want to wear one top and that’s it. And i like to agree with another post which said that the tops which fit well around the chest are loose everywhere else so that’s not a presentable look either.

God was especially good to me today and I’m so happy that this is no longer going to consume so much of my time and frustration

Ladies, please listen to Fr. Dominic and cover up and dress for our good Lord. Jesus deserves way more than what we give him as is, so don’t let this be something else we disappoint on. But we do need to focus on people, men, women and children about this issue. It’s easier for men to be presentable because that’s the norm of their dress. We need to be aware and mindful of these things to lead better Catholic lives.

 

[mullenpm]

Theoretically, it is easier for men to be presentable when attending Mass, a pair of trousers and a nice shirt; but, the theory does not always work.

I attended the Saturday Vigil Mass last week at a church not my own. The Mass is held in the lower church and it is smallish with no pews, just chairs. The chairs are situated in a half circle.

I was shocked to see the server (an older man) casually sitting in the front row, just feet away from the tabernacle - bare legs crossed - wearing shorts and shoes without socks. That has got to be a vision worthy of Hell.

I could not believe my eyes. Seems this is his usual garb for serving at Mass. After Mass I felt that I should say something to him; but chose to mention it to a man who was an EM believing that criticism might be more acceptable coming from another man, and someone who was a fellow parishioner.

I don’t know if he will change his ways or, hopefully, his manner of dress. I wonder, though, why a Priest or other official of the Parish has not done something about the way he presents himself to serve at Mass.

 

[Georgia]

I know many disagree with me on this, but I have to ask this rhetorical question. How would you dress to meet your city council representative? Should you do less for being in the presence of Our Lord?

I cannot count the number of times I have seen way too much skin at Mass. Extremely short shorts, hip-huggers and bare midriffs, etc. really aren’t appropriate.

You don’t have to dress up, but it seems to me that extraordinary ministers should look as if they are there for something serious. It also seems to me that we should leave the come-as-you-are look to recreation.

 

[Love_Divine]

I was shocked to see the server (an older man) casually sitting in the front row, just feet away from the tabernacle - bare legs crossed - wearing shorts and shoes without socks. That has got to be a vision worthy of Hell.

It’s not. Trust me. I’ve seen worse. I’ve almost thrown up from what I’ve seen men wearing/not wearing . I’ve contemplated if I needed to confess it, as I didn’t will to see such an indecent sight .

 

[MissRose73]

With summer time for so many around the corner, may be it would be nice if priests gave subtle hints in the bulletins, when making announcements or even as part of the homily about the need to not wear skimpy clothes to church for both genders.

I’d much rather see people wearing shorts that come to their knees with a nice short sleeved shirt and dressy sandals compared to a tank top/short shorts & flip flops to Mass.

 

[Christian4life]

Somebody did bring up a good point and I can attest that modest clothes are very hard to find, especially when you are working with a very tight budget. Most of the modest clothes I find are not cheap. More material I guess? Thrift stores aren’t an option so I’m left having to pay more and have less. Therefore my clothes are pretty faded out from all the washing.

 

[Love_Divine]

Somebody did bring up a good point and I can attest that modest clothes are very hard to find, especially when you are working with a very tight budget. Most of the modest clothes I find are not cheap. More material I guess? Thrift stores aren’t an option so I’m left having to pay more and have less. Therefore my clothes are pretty faded out from all the washing.

I really can’t even afford to pay more and have less. I had to get my mom to pay for the only modest skirt I could find at $135 .

 

[Maryann_C]

Thanks for sharing. I am a woman and I thank you for commenting on this for it has been a struggle for me in my life so far wondering why we( women) cant differentiate church and clubs. May God have mercy on us. To all men who have been tempted because of our outfits, I ask forgiveness on behalf of all women.

Father, grant that we learn to differentiate your temple with other places. Teach us to respect your house and that we may always remember that your house is sacred and that we should enter it with purity of body and heart! Mother Mary intercedes for us that we may be worthy to approach our Father’s house with dignity. Amen.

I am so happy this is being addressed. As a mother of teenagers it is a constant battle in this world we live to get them to understand appropriate dress…not just for the girls. summertime is the worst. I myself as a woman get offended also when I see women…even EMEs with cleavage showing. Seriously ladies why do we think it is OK to show cleavage in Church??? Think about the poor priests let alone the rest of the men! Hot button for me.

However I personally think we should NOT differentiate our modesty between Church and the outside world. After all we should be Christians regarding our bodies as temples . We women tempt men with our “freedom of choice to dress our bodies how we feel and they should not be looking attitude” outside Church just as much as inside …we are still tempting and potentially causing another soul to stumble and sin.

 

[novusCatholic]

First, I’m not a woman. With that in mind, please forgive me for any misguided confussion…

I don’t understand the comments about it being difficult to find modest clothing. Is it really that difficult? My wife dresses appropriately for Mass, and she simply shops at normal stores like you would find at any mall or shopping center.

Out of curiosity, I thought I’d check it out online. The first site that I checked was JCPenny, a moderately to inexpensively priced retailer. I clicked on “Women”, then “Skirts”. Right there, on the first page are two categories titled “At The Knee” and “Below The Knee”. There were many styles to choose from on just this first page alone. And there were several more. Prices seemed low enough to me. $17.99, $24,99, etc.

Just trying to understand. Please be gentle…

 

[Maryann_C]

I really can’t even afford to pay more and have less. I had to get my mom to pay for the only modest skirt I could find at $135 .

I am so sorry you are having such a hard time shopping. I just found a fantastic 3/4 length skirt at Coldwater Creek for a steal. Perhaps you are not looking in the right places? In the very old days people literally had one set of work clothes and one set of ‘Sunday clothes’. My mother used to work for a charity organization store in England and was always THE best and most elegantly dressed…she purchased all our clothes from there. Even today she lives on a shoestring pension and is always beautifully dressed…she just wears teh same outfit alot! There is nothing wrong with that.

 

[Maryann_C]

I’ll ditto what’s been said about it being hard to find clothes. The last summer dress I bought for Church I ended up also buying a cardigan sweater to wear over it (it’s so low cut). But even then I spend a lot of my time trying to move the sweater over my chest–it’s distracting. Most dresses in price range in recent years have been short/low cut/etc.

Ladies, I have a very simple solution that works for me year round and is very economical…purchase a pashmina ( I got one at Tuesday Mornings for $10) or other type of shawl- perhaps one for winter one for summer. Get it in a neutral colour that will go with almost everything and this way you can wrap it around your shoulders and throw it across your front , covering cleavage, and anything else that is bare so you do not have to worry about all your strapy dresses because you will simply cover up. Then one day if it is windy or raining outside and your hair is blowing all over getting messed up on the way to church you can simply and quickly put the wrap over your head …Mary style!

 

[Maryann_C]

I don’t really care how you dress at mass, I’ve got to be honest.

I mean, I don’t know what’s in your heart. That’s not for me to judge. What is for me to judge is how I conduct myself, and how I can better live in accord with what’s right.

So If I at age 40 + with a middle aged ‘spread’ ,sat next to you in Church in a mini skirt and tube top you wouldn’t care because you wouldn’t be distracted by the spectacle??

 

[novusCatholic]

So If I at age 40 + with a middle aged ‘spread’ ,sat next to you in Church in a mini skirt and tube top you wouldn’t care because you wouldn’t be distracted by the spectacle??

I became distracted just by reading the description in your post.