Question about cohabitation

[ElizabethPH]

The combination of the bipolar disorder (a week apart nearly sent us both to the asylum - no exaggeration), plus the fact that we simply cannot afford to keep two households. I’m the sole wage-earner until she finishes her degree. I’d like to call our pastor right now and find out what he recommends, but she’s extremely afraid of the potential consequences of me doing so, and I don’t want to go behind her back.

I think the key here is not all the reasons for living together but whether or not you are doing it as brother and sister. That is what you have to do. And praying about it. Going to confession often and Mass as well. Spend those down times you have at home in prayer. And if you can’t afford another bed…how bout an air mattress on the living room floor? If you must live together you must do it as brother and sister. If you do that…then I don’t see the problem. And you will be able to move forward in the anulment. Try not to worry; take your worries to the priest he will help you. I know it is scary; but often times our fear can overwhelm us especially with your disorders…and once you have it all out with a priest you’ll find it wasn’t as bad as you think it was. Doing all this is a process, you can work through it; Jesus will help you count on him!

 

[Janet_S]

I am not judging anyone and I don’t want to sound harsh here but how does one allow himself/herself to be put into this position in the first place? What was life like before cohabition? Didn’t they each manage to survive somehow? Didn’t they consider the possible consequences before they agreed to this arrangement? Why wasn’t the Church consulted at that time? Why put the priest and the Church in such an uncomfortable, maybe politically-incorrect position now? Annulments aren’t granted by duress, nor are they automatic. In other words, the couple cannot count on it and need to make arrangements for an alternative path, one which may include breaking up, sorry to say, if each party still wishes to be a member of the Church and avoid scandal. I mean, what kind of advice are they looking for exactly?

When we decide to follow God through His Church we have to realize sometimes life is tough, we can’t have everything we want, and we can’t have everything our way.

 

[teresarose]

Why don’t the two of you decide on a good alternative to getting married but that priest? That way you won’t be so stressed about asking.

I’m in a similar situation. And have already found out that our priest is fine with it. As long as we don’t sleep together until after we are married. But it does depend on your priest.

My guess is he already knows you live together.