puzzleannie:
no, your first marriage is not “dealt with”. The Catholic Church recognizes all marriages as valid (no matter what religion or civil marriage) until proven otherwise. Civil divorce does nothing to end a valid marriage. Jesus tells us marriage is until death and we follow the Bible.
Yes, I know this now. Some other people in the thread explained it for me, thanks. My religion follows the bible as well, which is why my divorce was not taken lightly. But my first marriage was not right and I feel I was right to get out of it. Besides, I was told my marriage isn’t valid to the church because JWs are “not Christian”.
puzzleannie:
every case is different so what you hear from a third party is irrelevant. your boyfriend cannot marry (or even date) a divorced person and stay in the Catholic Church. Please see the priest, the process may be much simpler than you think. absolutely no point in giving any facts here, nobody here can help. If your boyfriend wants to marry in the Catholic church he has to abide by her laws on marriage.
I don’t know if I entirely understand your comment saying that nobody here can help. I mean, aren’t you all giving me general info and helping in that way? A couple people I’ve run into already here seem kind of negative and I don’t know if it’s just coming off that way because it’s hard to gauge people’s tone online or if I’m just not that welcome because I’m a JW or something.
I’ve never heard about the rule regarding a catholic not dating a divorced person. I’ve seen quite a few people on here post that they are on their second or third marriage. So what gives?
I’m hoping the process will be much simpler than I think, yes. Because after reading some of the stuff on here it is certainly sounding more complicated by the second and I’m thinking I’d rather not deal with all the stuff I’d have to go through just for a marriage ceremony in a church. I mean, I’m only doing this for my boyfriend anyway.
A tribunal sounds just like my elder committee that met to decide whether or not to disfellowship me. Can’t say I’m psyched about that idea. : ) kidding. But I wouldn’t want them talking to my ex because he is still a JW and I know he won’t approve of a Catholic wedding so god knows what he’d say. That hardly seems fair. I mean, why would I lie just to get married in a religion I don’t even belong to? It just seems like a heck of a lot of work for a ceremony site I guess is what I’m saying.
puzzleannie:
There is no requirement that you convert, however as you know the differences between what Catholics believe and what Witnesses believe is very great which will pose a great strain on your marriage and be a barrier to true intimacy, not to mention the problem of children. He (not you) is required to promise he will baptize and raise his children as Catholics.
I knew that part. And I have no problem with our kids attending church. But I want them to be able to make up their own mind about what religion they want to be in. I don’t want them to feel forced to be a Catholic or forced to be a Witness. But I don’t think the difference in the religions is that great. The major issues would be the trinity (we don’t believe in it), the cross (we believe Jesus was killed on a torture stake), and holidays (but we could compromise on holidays once we had kids).
As for intimacy and such, see my reply to the next paragraph.
puzzleannie:
What do the leaders of your own church have to say about your marrying a Catholic? If you wish to remain JW you also have to abide by the rules of your own faith. As I understand it, this is highly frowned upon in your church.
It is frowned upon in my faith. However, if you have an honorable courtship, no fornication, you aren’t automatically kicked out or something. I was df’d because of wanting a divorce, saying I was going to move in with my best friend who is also df’d, and so on.
I’ve gone through a lot to be with my boyfriend, and he with me, and I don’t’ think any religion should be able to tell us we shouldn’t be together or that our kids will be confused or that we can never have true intimacy. I’ve grown closer to this man in the past year than I ever was with my ex whom I dated since I was 16.
I don’t mean any of this to come off sounding harsh, but I just feel like while people are answering my questions in some ways, in others I feel very judged and I hardly think that’s fair. I would think that if someone shows an interest in your religion you would be very welcoming. I know I used to love being asked questions about my faith and I relished the opportunity to talk to an interested one.
As I said, this could all just be the way people come across in writing and that I’ve got it all wrong. I’m perfectly open to that possibility. I guess I’ll just talk to my boyfriend’s priest and see what he says. But I have severe anxiety and I really like to know what I’m walking into beforehand so I hoped to gain some knowledge here and maybe gain some support in the process. (Not saying I didn’t, just making a statement.) Thanks.
). I don’t think he will have too much of a problem with the your being a JW as that can be dealt with through dispensation etc. Please if this is what both you and your boyfriend know you are to do then don’t let a cranky Priest discourage you from getting Married in the Church.