Question about others Commiting Sacrilege?

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I have a question regarding others such as members of the family that only come to mass on Christmas or Easter because they are asked to do so as perhaps a social gathering of the family. Is there anything that should be said about receiving communion if you know your loved ones are not in a state of grace? Basically, whos responsibility is it to adice that them, that perhaps they should go to confession first because it’s considered a sacrilege otherwise. Is it the parents of the child etc, or should nothing be said out of offending others since after all, they are attending mass atleast on christmas?

It hurts my heart to see so many who are indifferent to the Catholic faith and consider it merely as a social event etc, but on the other hand we don’t want to be judgemental on anyone because we really don’t know the state of their soul. But saying objectively we know they are in a mortal sin what should be done if anything?
 
You could mention that if anyone wants or needs to go to Confession first, this is when it’s available at this parish. Even offer to take them with you – leading by example.
 
I do have some friends who have college age children who come home for the holidays and they have flat out told them if you have not been going to mass or have other sins you need to go to confess and give them the times. Then it is up to them, you have done your part.

If you are not the parent, you can comment on confession times and that we should not recieve Jesus if we have missed mass.

Ultimately it is up to that person. But high pressure does not work for anyone.
 
I don’t have an answer, but I would like to comment on part of your premise. You seem to be saying that once-or-twice-a-year Catholics only attend mass, when they do, out of social obligation - that is, somewhat reluctantly, or even with disrespect, and for the sake of appearances. That may describe some of them, but I believe that many also attend from some genuine inner stirring which recognizes the importance of religion, and, more specifically, formal religion. Or they may be attending mass as a “kindness” to their relatives - which is better than doing it selfishly, for appearance only.

Thankyou for the question.
 
My mother is thinking of coming back to the church after many years and she asked me if she could recieve or what she had to do in order to go to Mass. Her sister, who was there, says oh just go you aren’t living in sin. I said, really though, its sacrelige and its a sin all its own to receive when you aren’t in a state of grace. then I explained very quickly why before I lost their attention spans. I knew it might upset them to hear, so I framed it with I love you’s and plenty of eye contact so they could see my sincerity, nobody got offended.
 
Your question is an interesting one. I think if you are discussing this with most people who will practice cavalierly receiving the Eucharist, they will dismiss your concerns. Generally, they may respond with the whole, those are man-made rules and Jesus would want me to receive the Eucharist idea. The real issue, which they may or may not understand, is that when we dismiss church teaching as man-made rules or say, it does not matter that we are living together and do not attend Mass, Jesus would want us to receive the Eucharist on Christmas, etc, then we are receiving Christ on our terms not His. This, outside of the issue of sacrilege, is like seeing Christ through plexiglas instead of unencumbered. You can never draw close to Him, because in reality He calls us on His terms, but in this case we are trying to call Him on ours.

Therefore, it is greater act of devotion and holiness to not receive the Eucharist when one is obstinate in sin and does not want to repent, because at least one is respecting God in light of one’s chosen acts and recognizing one’s unreadiness to receive in light of the current lack of desire to chose another path for one’s life.

Finally, I believe, it was St. Teresa of Avila (and I could be wrong on the saint) who said that with humility you can draw God into your heart by a thread. Cavalierly receiving the Eucharist is not in any way associated with humility and one cannot draw close to God fully under those circumstances.

If you have done your best to explain this issue to those who are concerned, you have done all you can, the rest is up to them.
 
Perhaps this was mentioned and I missed it but I believe it is relevant: One cannot know whether another is in a state of grace. A person cannot know with certainty whether he himself is in a state of grace.

AMDG
jsa
 
I appreciate the comments. I know that we do not know the disposition of the heart of the individual, only God knows. However, I am starting to understand better about how poorly people are catechized, perhaps through no fault of their own. There seems to be a huge problem with relativism anymore with people who are Catholic, but yet don’t believe all that the Catholic Church purposes for our belief. I believe what we believe even though I may not understand it completely. I think there are many who know the truth and the precepts of the Church, but dismiss as if it doesn’t exist.

I also think that many just don’t want to speak the truth anymore out of offending anyone. Sin is no longer being talked about much even in a world that has more sin then ever. The belief in the true presence of Christ seems to be watered down with peoples actions. Some of the actions I notice and pray about are genuflecting upon entering the Church in front of the tabernacle. Before, during and after mass seems to a talking social gathering about what people had for breakfast or what they are doing for the football game etc. It almost seems as if nothing matters much and going to Church is only a nice jester or thing to do. Its hard to see this in my family sometimes and the huge indifference of the Catholic faith. All I have is God in prayer, and I need to trust in that meaning.

-God Bless
 
Strictly speaking the duty to tell these people falls on the priest.

At the same time what one might want to do in this situation, although this is only my opinion, (when attending Mass with non-practicing family members) is to refrain from communion themselves so that their family members don’t feel pressured to go. If asked why he didn’t go, this person then might take the opportunity to explain the reasons that prohibit one from receiving communion (mortal sin, not having fasted, etc.)
 
It’s a tough situation to think about. In one sense, it’s an act of respect not to go up to receive communion and could be a first step to realizing you are indeed a sinner. And its another thing for a person not to think they are a sinner and receive communion anyway.

I’ve seen both types of people and it’s clear that there is a line between right and wrong. I think it’s sad to realize that there are what one might call “a bad Catholic”. Causing scandal on others by not speaking the truth and being lukewarm is a terrible disservice in to the people of God. If its the responsibly of the priest to tell people the guidelines for communion, why don’t they do it?
 
Really liked the way Fr. Robert framed his reply.
(Welcome, Father. :))

I know exactly what the OP is talking about, and I do think most of us Catholics do not make a practice in real life of judging states of grace that we have no personal knowledge of, but some of the examples above are obvious (people who haven’t by their own admission attended Mass in months or years, and whom you know also not to have gone to confession, are clear situations). Most of my non-practicing friends and relatives have the respect and good sense not to be hypocritical, or to make a face-saving attempt to “fit in.” Like some others here, I really do respect that; simply attending Mass with family is the right thing to do.

When my second daughter made her First Communion, naturally family came, and friends (almost all of whom were practicing Catholics). Virtually all those who were not practicing did not receive. However, my sister did, and all of the relatives knew that she was not practicing. That wasn’t the worst part; nobody was so tasteless as to make a scene or confront her. Instead, she herself announced at the reception at our home, that she “didn’t really believe any more.” :eek: That was very scandal-producing to one of my closest friends, who told me privately later that she was very upset by that contradiction in my sister’s behavior. And of course, part two was, Why would she use the special, innocent occasion of her niece’s First Communion to make such a public announcement?
:eek::eek: 😦
 
Elizabeth502 said:
However, my sister did, and all of the relatives knew that she was not practicing. That wasn’t the worst part; nobody was so tasteless as to make a scene or confront her. Instead, she herself announced at the reception at our home, that she “didn’t really believe any more.” 😦
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Yes. This is the real problem.

The Gospel is clear about keeping the Holy Holy.

The tragedy is not that there are unbelievers, who do not care, that but that the majority of the churches, the pastors, do not care. I do not believe that they should deny the communion, because their knowledge is limited, but they should talk often about the dangers of sacrilegious communions, and what is equally important, they should offer opportunity for confessions as often as possible.

The churches around us, put much emphasis on the adult initiations and and other preparations to special events like baptism of children or marriage, but they seems not to care about the sacrament what was considered most important in the past: the confession and the last rites.
 
laszlo said:
The tragedy is not that there are unbelievers, who do not care, that but that the majority of the churches, the pastors, do not care. I do not believe that they should deny the communion, because their knowledge is limited, but they should talk often about the dangers of sacrilegious communions, and what is equally important, they should offer opportunity for confessions as often as possible.

The churches around us, put much emphasis on the adult initiations and and other preparations to special events like baptism of children or marriage, but they seems not to care about the sacrament what was considered most important in the past: the confession and the last rites.
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I would only say respectfully that probably a lot more pastors care than we realize :). However, the second paragraph hits the nail on the head. They care about “enrollment,” because they have to. Evangelization (RCIA, etc.) is crucial to keeping the numbers up. I don’t mean that in a crude way. There are spiritual and practical reasons for stopping the hemorrhaging of exodus. And naturally I refer to recent exodus, not years ago. RCC attendance is down considerably vs. one year ago – at a national rate, and in most cases translating also to a local rate. In one local parish five full-time staff (lay) members has been cut to one.

But with regard to the central issue we’re discussing, Yes, it’s a big message when confession hours are not frequent. And again, all that’s necessary is to extend the liturgical hour so that confession is offered immediately prior to Mass and/or immediately after. Maybe not every day in very thinly staffed parishes, but at least several times a week. I wish priests could understand what a huge impact their availability (for the sacrament) has on parishioners. It not only says, It’s important, it says, I’m here: make this routine.

Also, it’s very powerful, spiritually - theologically – when confession & Mass overlap. At a parish I attend rather frequently, confessions continue during the first half of Mass. It’s a powerful visual, since Mass is all about His sacrifice for our sins. It’s the concrete experience of Redemption. 🙂
 
Yeah, I honestly believe most people, even those in my family that claim the name “Catholic” have a totally different view of what it means to be Catholic, as the Church teaches. I think the way society is with culture has in a way sort of made it almost impossible for them to see it in the eyes of the Church. People I know just don’t want to read the Catechism of the Catholic Church, yet alone live their lives according to the Churches teachings. It’s as if the world takes over the soul and CNN news and Foxnews and all the media and worries, seem to take over their lives. At least in the United States, we tend to live for the hear and now and do NOT have our eyes fixed on heaven, only this world and what it can offer. It’s a shame, it really is. I feel alone as a Catholic trying to fight the good fight and the whole world is against me. I realized since coming back to the faith that there are many different “kinds” of Catholics and this shouldn’t be. I believe what we believe, not what I believe alone. I also often wonder why is it even the older folks who are somewhat closer to death in a natural sense live as if live is meaningless? As if you don’t need to offer up your sufferings to the Lord, read the bible daily, pray. I think many think they are saved just because they are Catholic which is a sad affair today. I hate to say it, but the more I seem to be learning about the Catholic faith and what it requires, the more upset I get at how very few (family, friends) find it important anymore. I used to have the attitude that what is good for you is good for me and if you are happy with sin, I’m happy, so whats the big deal. Now I can’t seem to turn a blind eye to sin. Jesus said we will know the truth and the truth will set you free. The truth does hurt sometimes. It’s not easy today to be a good Catholic.
 
beth40n2 said:
I do have some friends who have college age children who come home for the holidays and they have flat out told them if you have not been going to mass or have other sins you need to go to confess and give them the times. Then it is up to them, you have done your part.

If you are not the parent, you can comment on confession times and that we should not recieve Jesus if we have missed mass.

Ultimately it is up to that person. But high pressure does not work for anyone.
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I agree…it’s our duty to say something at least. I unfortunetly was NEVER taught by my parents, grandparents. I had first communion and then my mom left the church. Five years later when I went to live with my dad…I went up every Sunday…not knowing the difference…and no one said anything. When I left the Church two years later…the few times after that I attended Mass…out of respect for a faith I had left…I didn’t go up. It was until I came back and asked the priest before I came back what I had to do that I understood anything.

Some people just don’t know…sad as it is.
 
Annabelle_Marie said:
I agree…it’s our duty to say something at least. I unfortunetly was NEVER taught by my parents, grandparents. I had first communion and then my mom left the church. Five years later when I went to live with my dad…I went up every Sunday…not knowing the difference…and no one said anything. When I left the Church two years later…the few times after that I attended Mass…out of respect for a faith I had left…I didn’t go up. It was until I came back and asked the priest before I came back what I had to do that I understood anything.

Some people just don’t know…sad as it is.
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I know for a fact, I didn’t know it was wrong until I entered into learning the faith better. I was pretty shocked to find out many things such as angels and the devil that no one ever talked about even while I was a child growing up as a catholic. I’m 29 yrs old now. I was honestly in amazement of this when I read and listen to priests such as Fr Corapi, Fr Bill Casey etc. But you do have to wonder if our parents actually knew the whole time and just didn’t say anything or if they indeed didn’t know about some of these basic teachings in the Catholic Church. I have a hard time with this because one would think an adult who is in their 50’s or 60’s and have been Catholic for a very long time never spoke out on this. I think it leads into a self moral issue with people. For example a person who doesn’t like what the Church says about homosexuality but accepts the rest of the Churches teaching. One would think that if this person doesn’t speak out on it or protect others because he or she love them that perhaps they have a personal moral issue with the teaching themselves. I dunno, maybe I was never taught by those in my family that missing mass on Sundays and receiving the Eucharist in a state of mortal sin was wrong because they themselves didn’t think it was wrong. Who knows. I’ll probably never know. All I know is what I see and hear and in the end, I feel all I can do is pray for them that sin will be recognized in their lives for what it is.
 
Post 17:

I agree, and it would have been so much better had I any inkling of what was about to transpire. Then, as you suggest (I know you’re speaking to everybody :)), I would have had a chance to say something. I truly expected my sister not to partake. Had she made her ‘atheism’ comments (or anti-RCC comments) prior to the event, even while in church waiting for it to begin, I probably would have said something like, “Well, there may be other people also here – from other families, too – who feel the same way. All of you not receiving communion will be in good company,”
 
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