I am posting a segment here from our local Catholic Men’s Bible Group study on ancient Hebrew Marriage . . . .
One thing that we often get wrong immediately concerning Mary’s Virginal Conception of Jesus is that Mary was an “unwed” mother. I have heard this incorrectly asserted many times.
Mary and Joseph when introduced to us in the Gospels ARE ALREADY MAN AND WIFE.
MATTHEW 1:18 18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been
betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child of the Holy Spirit;
Before an ancient Israelite marriage, you have an engagement time also called “shidukhin”. This was actually often arranged.
After this engagement period comes the marriage.
The actual marriage ceremony is termed “
kiddushin”. (This is sometimes translated as “betrothed”)
Kiddushin begins the marriage but the husband and wife often did not live together immediately after kiddushin.
Then after a time period in which the husband goes away alone and prepares a place for his bride (which may be brief but often was several months and even up to a year away!), the husband then comes back and takes his bride into his home. This is often accompanied by a ceremony. This aspect of their marriage (the taking of the bride into the home of the groom) is called “nisuin”.
Let’s go to the Jewish website, “Frequently Asked Questions” for more details.
Kiddushin is far more binding than an engagement, as we understand the term in modern English; in fact, Rambam speaks of a period of engagement before the kiddushin.
Well that’s just like what we do now right?
Not quite.
The ancient Hebrew marriage is ratified by kiddushin.
Then the husband (notice he is now
the husband and
not merely the fiancé) then goes and prepares his home.
Then the husband later comes back, gets his bride (again there is a Hebrew religious ceremony for this too—“nisuin”) and then he takes her into his home.
Contemporary Jews often do their marriage ceremonies different than the people of the ancient Israelite religion.
Jews today usually combine kiddushin and nisuin so that although it is still the same, it appears different from the ancient times two-ceremony motif.
Ancient Hebrews
- Engagement (shidukhin)
- Marriage (betrothal, kiddushin, erusin “sanctification”])
- Husband takes the bride into his home later (nisuin “elevation”])
Contemporary Jews
- Engagement
- Marriage = Betrothal (kiddushin) AND Nisuin together
Although in ancient times there were two ceremonies,
there was one marriage and that was kiddushin or betrothal (the husband and wife are now spouses or “espoused”).
Let’s review that again . . . .
The initial marriage ceremony is when the marriage takes place.
The Jews call this kiddushin (kid-oo-sheen) or betrothal (they are espoused to each other). The husband is the spouse of the wife and the wife is the spouse of the husband.
Betrothal is the actual marriage.
After kiddushin, the couple is really and actually married.
Then the husband (notice NOT the mere fiancé anymore) goes off and prepares a place for him and his bride. This may take up to a year of time.
Then the husband then comes back and takes his WIFE (again notice she’s his wife, not his fiancé) into their home and their life together commences. This is called nisuin (“elevation”).
Ancient Hebrew couples are already married after betrothal or kiddushin!
According to the Rabbis . . .
**Once kiddushin is complete, the woman is legally the wife of the man. The relationship created by kiddushin can only be dissolved by death or divorce. **
This is all vital for understanding what the Gospels are telling us concerning Mary and Joseph.
If you don’t get this, you’ll have a hard time understanding deeper aspects of the Scripture texts about Mary and Joseph.
So as you read the passages concerning Mary and Joseph, keep in mind they are already MARRIED. They are betrothed. They have completed kiddushin. But they are not yet living in the same home. They have not yet carried out nisuin.
Continued . . . . .
But I digress.