Question for converts: What's your story?

[luminoushope]

I didn’t think it would even be acceptable for me to pray after all the hate that I’ve shown to any christian that would come my way…

Katielyn, your post cried out to me, even though I’m kinda rushed this morning. My heart goes out to you and certainly God is all around you protecting you. If you possibly can, listen to Memaw. As to the quote above, as you read the Bible (you will) and learn about the Catholic faith (you will), you will see that the apostle Paul, a great man of God, was a murderer of Christians before he was converted. God loves you and longs to hear your prayers.

 

[marcylee]

Katielyn, you said:

*Finally, after months I started thinking about maybe possibly attempting to pray. But it felt like I didn’t know how, and attempting it gave me a headache anyways. But I needed a way to get these thoughts off my chest. So I thread a paperclip through the hole in the medallion and wrote out a list of my thoughts and clipped it to the paper clip. I started carrying it around everywhere I went everyday, constantly changing the paper on the clip. I showed my new friend (who ended up being catholic) what I had done with the medallion, and he thought it was neat and we started talking about prayer. After a while he showed me how to pray the rosary (although I still have trouble remembering parts). I got one for free made out of little plastic beads and started praying it at night when I got scared of “things that go bump in the night”. *

I read your story, and some parts of it sounded familiar. I married into an abusive fundamentalist family when I was very young. It got so bad that I left and went home to my family. I felt God had betrayed me. Even if I wanted to go back to church, because of the divorce, I felt like a 2nd class citizen. So I lived a worldly life for many years.

Then my father died and I got sick. I started to want to have a spiritual life, but the enemy of my soul had convinced me that the Lord did not want me back. I started reading occult books and got involved in Wicca. I was a part of that for 5 solid years.

My mother became ill, and I had a desire to try to find my way back to the Lord. It was a battle for 7 years. Satan did not want to give me up. Finally, I was invited to a Catholic women’s breakfast by one of my husband’s customers, whom I did not even know. That happened to be on a day that I planned to perform a full moon rite. I made an act of the will to go to the breakfast, and the desire for the occult left me. I still get attacked by Satan, but now I know how to defend myself.

I agree with Memaw, that you must find a way to leave that house, leave all your occult articles and books, and ask your friend to take you to a priest. He may be able to find a place for you to stay and give you some counseling about what you can do. Katielyn, your life depends on it.

Keep your medal with you, and keep praying the Rosary, even if you don’t know all the words. It is a very powerful prayer, and Our Mother and Our Lord will honor your intentions.

As I was writing this, I received this scripture for you:

“So submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you of two minds.” James 4:7-8

I will be praying for you, Katielyn.

God Bless You!

Marcylee

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

Why did you convert to the Catholic Church? Did you have a big “ah ha!” moment, or was it alot of seeds planted and watered over the years? What were your biggest fears/hangups in the process of converting (ie, my family will think I’m crazy, I don’t really agree with this specific doctrine, etc…)? Did you go through RCIA more than once?

God Bless!
Ericka

I was raised a heathen in a predominantly Catholic neighborhood, and always wanted to ‘be’ Catholic. I gave up stuff for Lent not even knowing what Lent was. I prayed.

I even attended Catholic school for a spell (the regular school’s pipes burst, everyone went to the nearest Catholic school while repairs were made).

I just didn’t realize that conversion was possible.

After 9/11, God placed certain people in my path, and some of them nudged and led me in the right direction. There was quite a series of coincidences laid out for me, too—crucial posts that disappeared, but only after I had seen them, things of that nature.

I became familiar with the horriffic case of Terri Schiavo and watched as one Pope died and another was elected.

Then I had a medical scare, and promised God if I got an all-clear bill of health, I would start attending Mass. I did so for a year before settling on a parish and an RCIA program. My feeling was that I was being called to enlist in battle.

My biggest fear is that the church or even God himself would find me unworthy and turn me down. I cannot even begin to express what I felt during the Easter vigil when I looked up to behold His risen form on the cross, holding out His arms. Too much, too much! Fear and wonder don’t describe it. Even now it makes me tear up.

My life since has not been the same. Sometimes I think it’s gotten worse by the minute. But I guess that was inevitable.

 

[luminoushope]

The discussion of the scandal of the Cross prompts me to write about Good Friday, a turning point in my ongoing conversion to Catholicism. In my small town we have many Protestant churches, one lovely little Catholic church. The Protestant churches keep on splitting, just as in the days of Luther and Calvin, so that when we moved here 20 years ago there were 6, now there are at least 15.

Anyway, some years ago, there was an attempt at a pastors’ association, not inviting the Catholic priest of course. This led to an interchurch Protestant Good Friday service, in the community hall. Finally, Good Friday, the most pivotal day in all history, was at least being observed. I was glad to be able to attend.

The pastors’ association fell apart, and the next year the only place you could go to a Good Friday service was the Catholic Church. The message was that one year Good Friday was important, the next year it wasn’t. How could that be? I went to the Catholic Church, where Good Friday is important every year, and the Cross is important all the time. It was so reverent and so different from my previous Protestant experience. This was a marker on the path.

Last year, not only did the Protestant church I attended (a “Jesus Movement” type church) not observe Good Friday, but at Easter Sunday, apart from the smarmy insistence that we say “Resurrection Sunday” and not Easter Sunday, you really couldn’t tell it wasn’t an ordinary Sunday! There was nothing special, no flowers, no real devotion as I had come to know it in the Catholic service. I was livid. I whispered to my husband, “are we having a stealth Easter?” (This didn’t promote marital harmony.)

I hope not to do too much more complaining about Protestantism, but when you trifle with the heart of what you say is your faith, it’s hard to take it seriously. Now I have found the wonderful Catholic Church that was there all the time. Praise God.

Journeying on.

Luminous Hope

 

[LegoGE1947]

The discussion of the scandal of the Cross prompts me to write about Good Friday, a turning point in my ongoing conversion to Catholicism. In my small town we have many Protestant churches, one lovely little Catholic church. The Protestant churches keep on splitting, just as in the days of Luther and Calvin, so that when we moved here 20 years ago there were 6, now there are at least 15.

Anyway, some years ago, there was an attempt at a pastors’ association, not inviting the Catholic priest of course. This led to an interchurch Protestant Good Friday service, in the community hall. Finally, Good Friday, the most pivotal day in all history, was at least being observed. I was glad to be able to attend.

The pastors’ association fell apart, and the next year the only place you could go to a Good Friday service was the Catholic Church. The message was that one year Good Friday was important, the next year it wasn’t. How could that be? I went to the Catholic Church, where Good Friday is important every year, and the Cross is important all the time. It was so reverent and so different from my previous Protestant experience. This was a marker on the path.

Last year, not only did the Protestant church I attended (a “Jesus Movement” type church) not observe Good Friday, but at Easter Sunday, apart from the smarmy insistence that we say “Resurrection Sunday” and not Easter Sunday, you really couldn’t tell it wasn’t an ordinary Sunday! There was nothing special, no flowers, no real devotion as I had come to know it in the Catholic service. I was livid. I whispered to my husband, “are we having a stealth Easter?” (This didn’t promote marital harmony.)

I hope not to do too much more complaining about Protestantism, but when you trifle with the heart of what you say is your faith, it’s hard to take it seriously. Now I have found the wonderful Catholic Church that was there all the time. Praise God.

Journeying on.

Luminous Hope

I’ve found one too. It happens to be the largest church in our city. Has 4 Masses on Sundays and about 3 Masses every other day of the week.

 

[LegoGE1947]

I was raised a heathen in a predominantly Catholic neighborhood, and always wanted to ‘be’ Catholic. I gave up stuff for Lent not even knowing what Lent was. I prayed.

I even attended Catholic school for a spell (the regular school’s pipes burst, everyone went to the nearest Catholic school while repairs were made).

I just didn’t realize that conversion was possible.

After 9/11, God placed certain people in my path, and some of them nudged and led me in the right direction. There was quite a series of coincidences laid out for me, too—crucial posts that disappeared, but only after I had seen them, things of that nature.

I became familiar with the horriffic case of Terri Schiavo and watched as one Pope died and another was elected.

Then I had a medical scare, and promised God if I got an all-clear bill of health, I would start attending Mass. I did so for a year before settling on a parish and an RCIA program. My feeling was that I was being called to enlist in battle.

My biggest fear is that the church or even God himself would find me unworthy and turn me down. I cannot even begin to express what I felt during the Easter vigil when I looked up to behold His risen form on the cross, holding out His arms. Too much, too much! Fear and wonder don’t describe it. Even now it makes me tear up.

My life since has not been the same. Sometimes I think it’s gotten worse by the minute. But I guess that was inevitable.

The devil does not like the Catholic Church. He knows it is the Real McCoy and he’ll do anything to try to convince people that it isn’t even to the point of making your life on earth a living “hell” I suppose.

 

[marcylee]

Luminoushope, you said:

Last year, not only did the Protestant church I attended (a “Jesus Movement” type church) not observe Good Friday, but at Easter Sunday, apart from the smarmy insistence that we say “Resurrection Sunday” and not Easter Sunday, you really couldn’t tell it wasn’t an ordinary Sunday! There was nothing special, no flowers, no real devotion as I had come to know it in the Catholic service. I was livid. I whispered to my husband, “are we having a stealth Easter?” (This didn’t promote marital harmony.)

It sounds like they don’t want to “offend” anyone. Now I would say that is “scandalous!”

God Bless!

Marcylee

 

[moen]

LUMINOUS:
Thank you so much for asking about my son. (I’m rushing to go grab my other 2 kids, but will answer more RE other posts later. I LOVE the variety of posts here! Guess cuz we’re all converts/almost converts

Went to Dartmouth Med Ctr to Genetics for some tests. No results. I was so touched that you take care of a disabled little girl. It’s such a path to being stripped of control when you have a special needs child, and I’m becoming more and more grateful to Jesus Christ daily for this special angel in my life!
It was a little horrendous, as the lab didn’t communicate with the office, etc…so we couldn’t do the blood draw then, etc…but I love going up there cuz it’s like a city unto itself, with a bank, restaurants…and all the people understand when my son runs away from me, can’t answer questions, lays down in the middle of the floor…But I’ll let you know!
(Will write more later!)

 

[luminoushope]

LUMINOUS:
I was so touched that you take care of a disabled little girl.

I didn’t get to go today, and I actually missed going. I called her mom at 8:30 this morning and she said she wasn’t ready to drive in the snow and ice we still have. Most people up here don’t have hefty snow tires, as this only happens for a short time each winter.

I think your attitude toward your son is beautiful, and you sound like you’re doing better yourself in the over-all. I hope that is the case.

Once while I was watching my little friend, it seemed like she might be working up to having a seizure. Not really knowing what to do, I got down on the floor next to her and told her several times, “I love you.” It seemed to work.

 

[LegoGE1947]

Katielyn, your post cried out to me, even though I’m kinda rushed this morning. My heart goes out to you and certainly God is all around you protecting you. If you possibly can, listen to Memaw. As to the quote above, as you read the Bible (you will) and learn about the Catholic faith (you will), you will see that the apostle Paul, a great man of God, was a murderer of Christians before he was converted. God loves you and longs to hear your prayers.

Not to mention all the other apostles were cowards and denied the Lord before they were truly converted after the Lord’s death.

 

[LegoGE1947]

LUMINOUS:
Thank you so much for asking about my son. (I’m rushing to go grab my other 2 kids, but will answer more RE other posts later. I LOVE the variety of posts here! Guess cuz we’re all converts/almost converts

Went to Dartmouth Med Ctr to Genetics for some tests. No results. I was so touched that you take care of a disabled little girl. It’s such a path to being stripped of control when you have a special needs child, and I’m becoming more and more grateful to Jesus Christ daily for this special angel in my life!
It was a little horrendous, as the lab didn’t communicate with the office, etc…so we couldn’t do the blood draw then, etc…but I love going up there cuz it’s like a city unto itself, with a bank, restaurants…and all the people understand when my son runs away from me, can’t answer questions, lays down in the middle of the floor…But I’ll let you know!
(Will write more later!)

We have a special-needs granddaughter. She was born with a genetic disorder called Prader-Willi Syndrome,www.pwsausa.org/ - which causes her to have an insatiable appetite, which she herself can’t control.
It has to be controlled for her by locking up anything she might try to eat whether it is edible or not. She is almost 5 years old and when she was born prematurely she literally had to wear doll clothes because she was so small. Her little head swelled up because fluid built up around her brain and she had to have a shunt put into her head when she was only a couple months old. So we know quite a bit about special needs kids. The doctors wanted my daughter to have an abortion but she refused to have it.
This little girl is such an angel even though she has to be controlled in her eating.

 

[marcylee]

We have a special-needs granddaughter. She was born with a genetic disorder called Prader-Willi Syndrome,www.pwsausa.org/ - which causes her to have an insatiable appetite, which she herself can’t control.
It has to be controlled for her by locking up anything she might try to eat whether it is edible or not. She is almost 5 years old and when she was born prematurely she literally had to wear doll clothes because she was so small. Her little head swelled up because fluid built up around her brain and she had to have a shunt put into her head when she was only a couple months old. So we know quite a bit about special needs kids. The doctors wanted my daughter to have an abortion but she refused to have it.
This little girl is such an angel even though she has to be controlled in her eating.

Lego, my heart goes out to you. I will pray for your beautiful grand daughter.

May our Lord grant you His Peace.

Marcylee

 

[marcylee]

Sailor, you said:

*My biggest fear is that the church or even God himself would find me unworthy and turn me down. I cannot even begin to express what I felt during the Easter vigil when I looked up to behold His risen form on the cross, holding out His arms. Too much, too much! Fear and wonder don’t describe it. Even now it makes me tear up.

My life since has not been the same. Sometimes I think it’s gotten worse by the minute. But I guess that was inevitable*

I know it is hard to look upon the Lord on His Cross, because it reminds us of how unworthy we are for him to accept us. But his arms are outstretched to us to embrace us. Please try to understand that God is always drawing us back to Him. If we say we cannot forgive ourselves, we are exercising pride and putting our salvation in our own hands. We should always be looking to the Lord. Peter walked on the water while he was looking at the Lord. But when he looked at his cirucmstances, he sank into the waves.

The Lord is calling you back. Don’t let the enemy confuse you. God wants you back.

God Bless You, Sailor Kenshin.

Marcylee

 

[LegoGE1947]

Lego, my heart goes out to you. I will pray for your beautiful grand daughter.

May our Lord grant you His Peace.

Marcylee

Her name is Miranda Rea and she’ll be 5 on March 2.

 

[marcylee]

Her name is Miranda Rea and she’ll be 5 on March 2.

Thanks, Lego. I didn’t know if I should ask. I will lite a candle for her.

God Bless, Marcylee

 

[Cinette]

I was raised a heathen in a predominantly Catholic neighborhood, and always wanted to ‘be’ Catholic. I gave up stuff for Lent not even knowing what Lent was. I prayed.

I even attended Catholic school for a spell (the regular school’s pipes burst, everyone went to the nearest Catholic school while repairs were made).

I just didn’t realize that conversion was possible.

After 9/11, God placed certain people in my path, and some of them nudged and led me in the right direction. There was quite a series of coincidences laid out for me, too—crucial posts that disappeared, but only after I had seen them, things of that nature.

I became familiar with the horriffic case of Terri Schiavo and watched as one Pope died and another was elected.

Then I had a medical scare, and promised God if I got an all-clear bill of health, I would start attending Mass. I did so for a year before settling on a parish and an RCIA program. My feeling was that I was being called to enlist in battle.

My biggest fear is that the church or even God himself would find me unworthy and turn me down. I cannot even begin to express what I felt during the Easter vigil when I looked up to behold His risen form on the cross, holding out His arms. Too much, too much! Fear and wonder don’t describe it. Even now it makes me tear up.

My life since has not been the same. Sometimes I think it’s gotten worse by the minute. But I guess that was inevitable.

You must realise that the devil always attacks those who are moving to and reaching out for God and Truth. So be prepared to be under attack - This could be very subtle at times. Your feeling “unworthy” is a definite sign placed on your heart to make you doubt. Jesus died for us all and provided the keys to the Kingdom knowing that we are not worthy.

One very essential thing is God’s love:

*“The love of God has been poured into your heart by the Holy Spirit” (Rom 5:5

“I have loved you with an everlasting love. I am constant in my affection for you.” (Jer 31:3)

“As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you.” (John 15:9)

“Think of the love that the father has lavished on you by letting you be His child and that is what you are.” (1 John 3:1)

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, … How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!” Matthews 23:37)
Here God shows a maternal love for us with his expression of tenderness and willingness to protect His brood.

There are many more passages reflecting on God’s love for us. Once you understand that you do not have to be worthy of His love you will be open and free to accept all he has in store for you.

Blessings
Cinette

 

[Cinette]

The discussion of the scandal of the Cross prompts me to write about Good Friday, a turning point in my ongoing conversion to Catholicism. In my small town we have many Protestant churches, one lovely little Catholic church. The Protestant churches keep on splitting, just as in the days of Luther and Calvin, so that when we moved here 20 years ago there were 6, now there are at least 15.

Anyway, some years ago, there was an attempt at a pastors’ association, not inviting the Catholic priest of course. This led to an interchurch Protestant Good Friday service, in the community hall. Finally, Good Friday, the most pivotal day in all history, was at least being observed. I was glad to be able to attend.

The pastors’ association fell apart, and the next year the only place you could go to a Good Friday service was the Catholic Church. The message was that one year Good Friday was important, the next year it wasn’t. How could that be? I went to the Catholic Church, where Good Friday is important every year, and the Cross is important all the time. It was so reverent and so different from my previous Protestant experience. This was a marker on the path.

Last year, not only did the Protestant church I attended (a “Jesus Movement” type church) not observe Good Friday, but at Easter Sunday, apart from the smarmy insistence that we say “Resurrection Sunday” and not Easter Sunday, you really couldn’t tell it wasn’t an ordinary Sunday! There was nothing special, no flowers, no real devotion as I had come to know it in the Catholic service. I was livid. I whispered to my husband, “are we having a stealth Easter?” (This didn’t promote marital harmony.)

I hope not to do too much more complaining about Protestantism, but when you trifle with the heart of what you say is your faith, it’s hard to take it seriously. Now I have found the wonderful Catholic Church that was there all the time. Praise God.

Journeying on.

Luminous Hope

*What about the Easter Vigil when we process in the dark with our candles lit from the Blessed Fire chanting and then, once in the Church we put out our candles and the Cantor sings the Exultat. Oh - it is heaven. We are reminded of creation and God’s love is everywhere.

How can we live without these beautiful sacred forms of worship to be found in the Catholic Church. How?

*

 

[moen]

To LUMINOUS @LEGO1947:

Wow, someone’s byline here is “Love changes everything”–and I’m seeing more and more that’s the truth to the most basic level!
The girl whose seizure stopped because she was told she was loved is astounding to me! My niece died of a seizure disorder, so that’s close to my heart. AND I cooked for a man with Prader-Willi so I am very familiar with that too! Maybe we can start a thread for special needs… I’m convinced that these little ones are specially endowed from our creator, and only in Heaven will we see their advanced spirituality!

I’m almost snowed in today now too –

My son is an angel sent to me, of that I’m more sure everyday…it’s turned out he’s kept me from doing lots of selfish pursuits, et al!!! He was given over to Mary during his birth…something that would be abhorrent to my family, but I did it out of my heart and not my head…I thought we were both dying during childbirth, and believe me, my intellect was non-existent at that point It’s similar to my own birth , I think, where my mom and I almost died…and I had nuns around me, probably was baptized or dedicated to a saint. Maybe St. John, it was his feast day . (And she and I aren’t Catholic (yet).
More later…

Let’s all pray that we all continue on this path towards Him, towards Sacramental lives!! .I love this little group of converts here:thumbsup:

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

Sailor, you said:

My biggest fear is that the church or even God himself would find me unworthy and turn me down. I cannot even begin to express what I felt during the Easter vigil when I looked up to behold His risen form on the cross, holding out His arms. Too much, too much! Fear and wonder don’t describe it. Even now it makes me tear up.

My life since has not been the same. Sometimes I think it’s gotten worse by the minute. But I guess that was inevitable

I know it is hard to look upon the Lord on His Cross, because it reminds us of how unworthy we are for him to accept us. But his arms are outstretched to us to embrace us. Please try to understand that God is always drawing us back to Him. If we say we cannot forgive ourselves, we are exercising pride and putting our salvation in our own hands. We should always be looking to the Lord. Peter walked on the water while he was looking at the Lord. But when he looked at his cirucmstances, he sank into the waves.

The Lord is calling you back. Don’t let the enemy confuse you. God wants you back.

God Bless You, Sailor Kenshin.

Marcylee

Bless you, too. I think it was just yesterday that ‘Fadda Wade’ addressed this in his homily: don’t try to be your own savior!

Some things the Church requires of me don’t seem all that difficult. But it’s always hardest on me to forgive myself. I need these reminders. Thanks.

 

[Memaw]

We have a special-needs granddaughter. She was born with a genetic disorder called Prader-Willi Syndrome,www.pwsausa.org/ - which causes her to have an insatiable appetite, which she herself can’t control.
It has to be controlled for her by locking up anything she might try to eat whether it is edible or not. She is almost 5 years old and when she was born prematurely she literally had to wear doll clothes because she was so small. Her little head swelled up because fluid built up around her brain and she had to have a shunt put into her head when she was only a couple months old. So we know quite a bit about special needs kids. The doctors wanted my daughter to have an abortion but she refused to have it.
This little girl is such an angel even though she has to be controlled in her eating.

God Bless her and you and her family. You all are in my prayers. I know these special babies, even the not so little ones, have a very special place in God’s heart and Heaven waiting for them. Love and Prayers, Memaw