Question for people in their twenties

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bengal_fan:
i am a 29 year old male who is married. but i if i hadn’t already found the perfect girl…i’d be moving to ireland and pursuing dublin girl. this is such a great answer.
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People are so encouraging on CAF. Go raibh maith agat (Thank-you).
 
I think your son is too young to be thinking about marriage (although I’m glad he doesn’t seem to be not thinking about either. I guess what I"m saying is he has plenty of time. I didn’t meet my DH until 26 and he was 32.

I would suggest him reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye

and saying this courtship prayer

***Remember O MOst Blessed Mother that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. ***
Inspired by this confidence, unworthy as I am of thy protection, in the presence of God the Father, the Author of LIfe, God the Son, Who gave marriage the dignity of a sacrament, of God the HOly Spirit, Who sanctified love, I entrust my courtship to thy motherly protection.
Guide me in the choice of a partner. Keep our courtship pure and chaste. Bless our union witha holy love. Watch over us from Heaven. Send us grace to live in the favor of God and to share in the eternal love in which we shall be united forever in Heaven. AMEN

I said this prayer for 9 months and along came DH
 
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Aurelia:
I have a twenty-year old son who is depressed about finding a good girl to marry. He told me that girls these days are either not interested in marriage, or they want to marry rich guys and have no children. How widespread is this attitude?
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I don’t blame him. I want to get married and get a family going (between 5 and 10 kids preferred) and it seems like all the guys today are on the lookout for “friends, with benefits” whatever that means. It’s really depressing.
 
okay, I am only 18 too, but I was advised to pray myself into marraige. Finding good matches at Church is a great idea and relationships based on God last so long and do wonders. My parents and grandparents both found eachother at Church!
 
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Starsweeper:
It’s very difficult, if not impossible nowadays to meet anyone who is first of all, interested in marriage or even commitment and second of all who is a faithful Catholic who lives their faith. People don’t even go out on dates anymore, they “hang out”, then have casual sex, and then maybe after many hook-ups might start calling themselves boyfriend and girlfriend. Personally, with my standards for my future husband coupled with where I live (Boston) I have serious doubts sometimes about if I will ever find a good man to marry. Please pray for me and everyone who is looking for someone to marry.
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I agree!! I am married now, but I was on the dating scene just a few short years ago, and it was impossible to find a nice guy. And any guy who called himself Catholic was Catholic in name only. Most guys I met had no real sense of values or morals. There were no organized church groups or youth events to speak of in any of the Catholic churches in my area. I did eventually get married (to a non-Catholic), whom I love very much, but he is very secular. The only guy I dated who was even remotely religious was a guy who belonged to some non-denominational church that preached against Catholics. Even though he loved the Lord, and tried to live a moral live, his deep hatred towards the Catholic church is part of why we didn’t stay together. Dating nowadays is hard, and I sympathize with anyone who is looking for a spouse.
 
Well, I have a 24 year old daughter that wants very much to meet a catholic man with the attitude of your son.

So tell him not to lose heart.
Gee, how can we get them to meet… Seriously.
God Bless,
KellyEr
 
Hey what do you all think of a Catholic Answers Forum dating service? Connect the searching Catholic men with the searching Catholic women. Problem solved.👍
 
prophetdaniel said:
20 is an early age to be depressed. He needs to be patient.

He probably knows everyone wants someone who has potential to raise a family (financially, spiritually) and to be able to take their spouse out to public functions.

Your son will probably also meet girls who want to marry rich, have children, and not work. He already knows to avoid them. Thank goodness! I understand his dilemma. But do not be deceived, there are some who appear to be dedicated Catholics, and they too want to marry rich, have children, and not work.

There is no gurantee the type of person he wants to marry will be attending the same parish. The community always welcomes new members!
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Perhaps you didn’t mean to imply there is something wrong with wanting to be a stay-at-home mom or “not work.” As a daughter of a mom who stayed home, and a future (hopefully) stay-at-home mom, I can testify that it’s plenty of work, and my mom’s committment to that was a great gift to me.

God bless.
 
all I can say is that I am 20, very orthodox Catholic and I have the same problem. I have basically given up on women. Priesthood or chaste single life for me, unless by divine intervention God sends me a good Catholic girl who isn’t already married.
 
One getting impatient will seem like it’ll be that way forever, but then one day someone will come along and all will change.

There are alot of those people out there who are just looking for money and no family, but there are faithful people out there. I’m sure many impatient girls just as frustrated as he. It might be good to break out of going to the same places, cause you only see the same people. It might be good to hang around a good campus ministry or some pro-life events. (Besides whats the chances of meeting a girl that wants money, causal sex & doesn’t want children at a pro-life event?)

One other thing I might say is it could be God telling him he needs to work on caring for people, espcially people who he’s not seeking benifit from. Make friends with all kinds of people, young and old. Doing that will probably attract more eyes of the right kind of possible future spouses.
 
A few years ago I was in the exact same position, watching all of my friends getting married and wondering if I was going to be a bachelor for the rest of my life. Eventually I realized I was focusing too much on what I wanted versus being open to God’s will for my vocation. After much prayer and work at becoming the “best version of myself”, I met my fiancé at a young adult group at church. So, I definitely agree with the advice to look for a spouse at church. I realize that many, if not most parishes don’t have similar young adult activities, but there are always groups (such as pro-life) looking for volunteers. And even if there aren’t any women his age in the group, there will likely be nieces, daughters and granddaughters similarly dismayed at the lack of faithful, like-minded Catholics. They truly are out there! I happened to meet one that was living less than five minutes away.

Hopefully this doesn’t just sound like an echo of previous posts. I wanted to share my story and let all the single guys/gals out there know that if someone like me can hit the lottery and find a beautiful, faithful Catholic, there is certainly hope for all of you! 🙂
 
Seeing as how my 23-year-old wife married me knowing that I would not be rich/“successful,” he can rest assured that not every young woman is as he suspects.
 
I’m 19, so I’m almost there. It seems like most people are suggesting that there are plenty of faithful Catholic girls out there looking for faithful Catholic guys, etc. While I don’t doubt that this is true, I question whether it will do anything to respond to your son by saying “But, really, there are good Catholic girls out there!” Your post indicates that he thinks there are not and merely saying the opposite is not going to change his mind. Perhaps he’s had some bad experiences?

I would suggest that you perhaps take a different approach. He’s twenty years old - that’s very young (I hope!). He’s still got to finish college, possibly graduate school, discern whether or not he’s called to the priesthood, etc. God will provide for your son, like He always does. Why not advise your son to focus on the present, focus on serving God, focus on his studies or his work, and trust that God’s will in his life will be realized in God’s time? In my own experience, I find it far more profitable to be at peace about the future than to worry about what may or may not come.

God bless.
 
I am a twenty-year old girl from Ireland and I would love to get married…to the right guy. Tell him about prayer groups. Youth 2000 is a good one, I don’t know if you have any in your locality. It’s great for making friends and maybe he just might meet the right person. Personally, I think we should start a singles forum on this site. It would be fairly class!!! E-mail me if you can, I don’t know how this works, am a new member 👍
 
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Starsweeper:
Hey what do you all think of a Catholic Answers Forum dating service? Connect the searching Catholic men with the searching Catholic women. Problem solved.👍
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Yes, my thoughts exactly!
 
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nucatholic:
all I can say is that I am 20, very orthodox Catholic and I have the same problem. I have basically given up on women. Priesthood or chaste single life for me, unless by divine intervention God sends me a good Catholic girl who isn’t already married.
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There are loads of good Catholic girls out ther, come to Ireland!!!
i don’t know if you can email me but I’d love to hear from you.
 
Is God calling him to be a husband and father? Perhaps he is called to vocation.

Has he prayed about meeting a girl? Does he not have faith that God will not help him find a suitable girl, if that is God’s plan for him?
 
Have him put it in Mary’s hands… she will find him a wife when he is ready to have one. Urge him to look at the priesthood also. Even if he does not become a priest… learning to love that vocation will help him with vocation to be married. Love of both can be very important to a role as husband, and father.
 
Thanks for all the advice. My son is going to a Catholic University, and is a member of Totus Tuus. I know that the Lord will provide the right mate at the right time. But, basically, what I wanted to know was, how prevalent is this attitude among young women today? I guess someplaces it is, and some places it isn’t.
 
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