Speaking as a belligerent Roman Catholic who believes in his Faith and the teachings of Holy Mother Church, I think we must consider the words in these verses in the context which they were uttered.
When Christ said “Except a man be born again (notice no mention of water or spirit yet) he cannot see the Kingdom of God”, He provokes the reply, doubtless made with a smile - “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter again into his mother’s womb and be born?” Now Nicodemus, “a man of the pharisees” wasn’t stupid. This was a rhetorical question, but one which Jesus turned around to give his answer -“Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter the Kingdom of God”
This is a record of a personal conversation between Christ and Nicodemus, when Jesus replies to a specific question put to him. In this context, it is possible that Christ was saying at this particular time, to this particular person, “Of course you can’t be born from your mother again. You must be born (doesn’t say “AGAIN”) of water (as a human being) and the Spirit (by believing in Christ)” Now, however true this may appear, and in fact, however true this actually is, I don’t personally believe that this is what Christ meant at the time. However, we should not ridicule those who do, if they are trying to understand what Our Lord’s words mean. We surely all believe that being born again is essential in order for us to see the kingdom of God, as Christ specifically tells us so.
It must be remembered the Baptism given by Saint John the Baptist signified repentance. When Christ was talking to Nicodemus (a man genuinely interested in what He had to teach, unlike the Pharisees who tried unsuccessfully to trip Christ up, and who, as Steveleeder says were full of their own righteousness) Jesus, knowing Nicodemus would know about John’s baptism, may have been referring to Baptism by water as meaning initial repentance of sin, before believing in Christ, and being born again of the Spirit.
Or, perhaps (as I believe) Christ was saying that when as adults we repent and ask Christ to forgive us our sins, we are forgiven and born again of the spirit, and when we are baptised, we are washed clean of all sins committed by us at that date, or as infants, we are born again of water, washed clean of original sin by the water of baptism, and born again by the spirit in later life, when, we consciously receive Christ as our Saviour and apply his redemptive death to our lives.
Whatever the case, there can be no doubt that we are saved by faith in Christ (and of course good works must follow, as St James tells us) as John Ch 3 v 63, Roman’s Ch 10 v 9, and many other verses make that clear. It is, in my submission, when we make the conscious decision to accept Christ as our Saviour, and by doing so apply the superabundant merits of His redemptive and salvific death on the cross to our own souls that we are born again or baptised, of the Spirit.
Baptism is a sacrament of the Church, the washing with water signifying inward repentance, rejuvenation, washing away of sin and is an outward confession and profession of Faith (“Romans 10 v 9) if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus Christ and believe in thine heart that God has raised Him from the dead, thou SHALT be saved”) .
The word “sacrament” comes from early Roman times, and was the oath a soldier swore to his Emperor, and was a sign of his devotion and loyalty.
The sacrament of Baptism is an outward sign of an inward spiritual change. When an adult chooses to be baptised, his / her Baptism signifies that he / she has believed in Christ and so has applied Christ’s saving sacrifice to his / her own life and so have been born again by water and of the Spirit. Accordingly, at his / her baptism, while already forgiven his/her sins before, when they repented and asked for forgiveness, on the day of baptism, they are washed clean of sin committed up until that time
in a real way, by water and Spirit. If it is not possible to be baptised (this is unlikely) the Church allows for baptism by desire.
In the case of an infant being baptised, things may appear different, but in fact remain the same. Obviously no conscious decision is made by the baby to be born again in any way, and, as the child is not in a position to repent or commit or even be aware of sin, so the baptism is a profession of Faith by his / her parents and a promise to bring the child up in the faith, but also the water of baptism, by the power of the Spirit, washes away all sins to date, which will be only original sin, as no conscious sin has taken place, and at a future time, it is hoped that he will be born again of the Spirit, in the same way the adult was, by believing in Christ, and that they will both continue in the Faith, receive the sacraments, confess their sins and receive absolution.
However, in my submission, as seen in Scipture and from the teaching of the Church, if someone after baptism sins (as we all do) does not believe in Christ as his/her Saviour, does not seek forgiveness and turns his/her back on God, relying merely on their baptism many years before to save them, then they are wrong so to believe. We should be rather concerned about the sin we fall into during our lives after baptism, whether as an infant or otherwise, and having God forgive them, and living as we are told to do, by God and His Church.
God bless,
Jimmy Two Guns