Question on Faith

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Irish_Eyes_826

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Hi, I’m new here. I’m 17 and I’ve been raised Catholic, but I’m not really sure about staying with the faith or if God really exists. However, I know much of this comes from being young and I know that I must still try to be the best person I can be for the time being 🙂

One of the major questions I struggle with is the concept of Hell. I do believe in Hell, but I’m confused as to who goes there. I mean, does someone who uses birth control or has sex before marriage really deserve to be tossed into the same place as rapists and serial killers? As for myself, I really try to be a good person and go to church and confession regularly, but I still mess up quite often. If I have the misfortune of dying before I get to confession, even if I already feel contrition, do I really deserve eternal hellfire? And I never asked to be born so why is it fair that I have to have all this responsibility to be perfect? Sometimes I think God could never like me because I have so much trouble understanding him…,
 
Irish_Eyes_826 said:
Hi, I’m new here. I’m 17 and I’ve been raised Catholic, but I’m not really sure about staying with the faith or if God really exists. However, I know much of this comes from being young and I know that I must still try to be the best person I can be for the time being 🙂

One of the major questions I struggle with is the concept of Hell. I do believe in Hell, but I’m confused as to who goes there. I mean, does someone who uses birth control or has sex before marriage really deserve to be tossed into the same place as rapists and serial killers? As for myself, I really try to be a good person and go to church and confession regularly, but I still mess up quite often. If I have the misfortune of dying before I get to confession, even if I already feel contrition, do I really deserve eternal hellfire? And I never asked to be born so why is it fair that I have to have all this responsibility to be perfect? Sometimes I think God could never like me because I have so much trouble understanding him…,
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First, welcome to the forums! Well, when I think about what Jesus said - that He is the way to the Father, I have to take that as true. Hell has been described very well to us, and certain people have been given a glimpse of it, so as to confirm their faith. Those who commit mortal sin, but do not know that it is mortal sin are held to a less stringent standard than those of us who know. But, if you or I know the rules and break them anyway, shouldn’t we expect the punishment that comes?

The problem is that society has changed almost 100% just since your grandmother was born. Things that would have absolutely shocked her are now commonplace. But, just because society has changed does not mean that truth has changed. Jesus taught moral principles, that, if followed, will lead you to a life that is much more satisfying, both on earth and in eternity.

At your age, many things are changing, and rapidly, too. Best to stick with your faith, for it has worked well for a hundred generations. How well do you know your faith? I can suggest a book that is a very easy read, and will let you know, not only what we believe, but why we believe it. It is called Catholicism for Dummies. I learn something each time I read it.

Good it is that you have arrived here to ask questions!
 
po18guy has given some good advice. Catholicism for Dummies a great read, one I thing every Catholic should read.

Keep with your faith, it will help you through these crazy years of your life. Always know that God loves you. If you’re in a situation where death seems eminent, I believe you are allowed to make a confession right then and there. However, if you survive such a situation, you are supposed to go to confession right away and get absolution.
 
Thank you both very much!
I have gone to Catholic school for thirteen years (I graduate tomorrow:D) and I feel like i know very much about my faith, but still have a lot to learn! Part of my trouble with my faith is that I was pretty much taught rules, rules, and more rules. I am now trying to connect these rules, while important, to what Catholicism is all about- loving God and each other. I am in between believing that all God cares about is rules and really feeling a spiritual connection to God. Its a struggle, but everyone needs something to believe in.
 
Your concern on “fairness” of GOD’s judgement is understandable, as in our youth “rules”, “fairness”, “score” all have major importance in how we relate to our peers, school etc. And is sounds “as if” you are being pressured by your peers and perhaps boyfriend to engage in sexual activity, because everyone does it so what is the big deal?

Well the big deal is JESUS. HE said No! and HIS FATHER made it part of the Commandments - not rules, or scores or fairness.

And are these still relative to today? Yes, you can read about the Miracle of Fatima and learn that the Virgin Mary gave the three children a vision of hell, and taught them that the majority of souls that condemn themselves to hell do so due to sins of a sexual nature.

The fact that you sought out this forum to inquire is a very good sign that you know it is wrong and you are seeking the truth to be able to explain it to your friends. Your example will be a stronger lesson than your words.

Study the 10 commandments and learn the one which deals with sexual behavior outside of marriage - ask a priest if you cannot find a resource
Read about the Miracle of Fatima and see what the Virgin Mary told the children.
And ask GOD to make you the example HE needs within your peer group to represent HIM and be HIS disciple.
 
Thanks for replying Julian!
Actually, I am on this forum to seek answers for myself., not to explain to my friends. I have amazing friends who respect that I am just not ready to be sexually active yet. Still, I am a teenager and I have urges just like ever other human.
As for Fatima, I believe it is an amazing story, but I just don’t understand it completely. If God made us and gave us our sexuality, why do we become so interested in sex way before we are ready to be married, and why is it so wring to act on these urges with someone who feels the same way. I believe in the commandments, but I just don’t know why God made them so hard to follow.
 
Irish_Eyes_826 said:
Thanks for replying Julian!
Actually, I am on this forum to seek answers for myself., not to explain to my friends. I have amazing friends who respect that I am just not ready to be sexually active yet. Still, I am a teenager and I have urges just like ever other human.
As for Fatima, I believe it is an amazing story, but I just don’t understand it completely. If God made us and gave us our sexuality, why do we become so interested in sex way before we are ready to be married, and why is it so wring to act on these urges with someone who feels the same way. I believe in the commandments, but I just don’t know why God made them so hard to follow.
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Irish Eyes

Let me say welcome to the forums as well and I have to admit that I wish that as a 17 year old I had found this forum to grow in my Catholic faith. You have raised some very important issues and I want do try to do my best to give you some advice from my perspective. As for Hell, yes it is real and people really do go there. We know this from the teachings of Jesus Himself. I know that the thought of hell really does scare people and many times causes people to be overly scrupulous about this. Are we to live a good life, yes, we are, we are called to be faithful Catholics, following the teachings of the Church, but we must not view those teachings as “rules, rules, and more rules” and by sinning we are breaking a list of rules. Sinning is being disobedient to God. The One that calls us to know Him, to love Him and to serve Him. To live perfectly is not possible, only two persons that walked the face of this earth were able to do that. We do our best to be saints. The Catholic Church helps to guide us on that path with Her teachings.

As for the teachings on sexual morality, I would go into a lot of what the Church teaches, but, honestly, I think it is best that you do that for yourself at this site chastity.com/ as it will give you a TON of great information. If I can make one request, it would be to learn the teachings of the Church in the area of sexual morality and to save yourself for you wedding night. TRUST me when I tell you that it is worth more than you will ever imagine.

God bless you and dive into your faith, I wish I had sooner…but at 35, I still try to learn.
 
Irish_Eyes_826 said:
Hi, I’m new here. I’m 17 and I’ve been raised Catholic, but I’m not really sure about staying with the faith or if God really exists. However, I know much of this comes from being young and I know that I must still try to be the best person I can be for the time being 🙂
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When I was 17 I made teh worst mistake of my life, which led to my leaving the Church for some 35 years, at least 7 of which I wanted to return bot thought I couldn’t due to divorce and reamrriage - Finally able to resolve the issues and returned ni 2007…
I say this because I know a bit of where you are at right now and the kinds of temptations that are out there - AND what mistakes can lead to…
One of the major questions I struggle with is the concept of Hell. I do believe in Hell, but I’m confused as to who goes there. I mean, does someone who uses birth control or has sex before marriage really deserve to be tossed into the same place as rapists and serial killers? As for myself, I really try to be a good person and go to church and confession regularly, but I still mess up quite often. If I have the misfortune of dying before I get to confession, even if I already feel contrition, do I really deserve eternal hellfire? And I never asked to be born so why is it fair that I have to have all this responsibility to be perfect? Sometimes I think God could never like me because I have so much trouble understanding him…,
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Part of the problem here is taking too legalistic a view. That is, viewing where you go based on whether you keep or break rules. I don’t mean to say rules are not important, but the rules are expressions of underlying principles.
The basic underlying principle for ALL the rules is the Love of God and the Love of neighbor. Keep these formost in your mind and you can’t go too far wrong.

Take you concerns about birth control and pre-marital sex as examples. The question to ask is “Why are they rules”? How do they tie in with Love your neighbor as yourself"?
The answer is they both really tie into the proper use of the body which is given to yo by God. If you misuse the body you are disrespecting God - That is - you are not loving God with your whole heart.
Sex is intended for procreation - that is what God designed it for. It’s not for play or personal pleasure, though certainly those characteristics exist in the act. But first and foremost it is designed for a specific purpose. Interfering with that purpose (birth control) is subverting the purpose for which the act was designed.
Since Birth control is offensive to God’s design of human sexuality, extramarital sex is playing with fire since pregnancy may occur and the raising of children is designed in humans to be a two parent job. “God made them make and female”. Pregnancy outside of marriage causes much hurt to others as well and this is not “loveing your neighbor as yourself”.

As to being sent to hell for this or that sin, Mortal sin requires three components, Grave matter, full knowledge and full consent. Consider the second and throd for a moment and you will recognize that for a sin to be mortal, you must first reject God’s sovereignty over you. You must KNOW it’s a sin and CHOOSE to do it anyway. In effect your telling God to “butt out” you are going to do this thing anyway.
So Mortal sin requires a rejection of God. This may not be what one thinks they are doing, but if they know it’s a sin, and they do it anyway - then they ARE rejecting God.

I hope some of this helps.

Peace
James
 
Irish_Eyes_826 said:
Thank you both very much!
I have gone to Catholic school for thirteen years (I graduate tomorrow:D) and I feel like i know very much about my faith, but still have a lot to learn! Part of my trouble with my faith is that I was pretty much taught rules, rules, and more rules. I am now trying to connect these rules, while important, to what Catholicism is all about- loving God and each other. I am in between believing that all God cares about is rules and really feeling a spiritual connection to God. Its a struggle, but everyone needs something to believe in.
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This is something I think is a failing in our Religious education. Teaching rules is fine for small children, but by the time we get into high school age, there needs to be more of what you are asking for - how to connect these rules together. To get at the underlying principles. It took me years to really come to understand this and then it was so simple.
All of the Rules are built our from the two commnads that Jesus tell us are the basis for “All of the Law and Prophets”

[BIBLEDRB]Mt 22:36-40[/BIBLEDRB]

Peace
James
 
Thanks for all the replies!
Like I said, if there’s one thing I learned in Catholic school, its the rules. And I actually do agree with most them. A had an amazing religion teacher last year and he taught out class how to relate every rule to loving God and one another, and that is what helped me start believing in the rules again. My trouble is that right now I just don’t agree with/understand/believe all the rules of the Church, I hope that someday I will. But for now I do not, and sometimes I worry that God doesn’t like me because of this.
 
Irish_Eyes_826 said:
Thanks for all the replies!
Like I said, if there’s one thing I learned in Catholic school, its the rules. And I actually do agree with most them. A had an amazing religion teacher last year and he taught out class how to relate every rule to loving God and one another, and that is what helped me start believing in the rules again. My trouble is that right now I just don’t agree with/understand/believe all the rules of the Church, I hope that someday I will. But for now I do not, and sometimes I worry that God doesn’t like me because of this.
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Seek and ye shall find, knock and it will be opened to you.

God loves you no matter what. He will love you in the state in life that you find yourself in, even in you are doubting, in mortal sin, He still loves you and love you way too much to want you to stay that way. The answers are there for you, you just have to ask the right questions.

Spend some time with your questions befire the blessed sacrament.
 
Hi! I am also 17 and trying to live out my Catholic faith in a world which reallllllly wants to give me (and you) a hard time :rolleyes:

An important realization to make (which, I’m sorry, you don’t really learn in Catholic school - I’ve received a Catholic education for 13 years and learned hardly anything through it) is that hell is a choice. Now hold on, you’re wondering “Who in their right mind would choose inconceivable torture for all eternity??” Well, in the afterlife we can be one of two things: with God, or in hell. We choose which in this life. People who utterly reject God, by default, choose hell. Therefore a fornicator could choose hell like a murderer could choose hell, even though their offenses may not be equally grave. Sin is an opportunity to choose something instead of God, to say “Not Thy will but mine.”

It can be easy to see the Church’s teaching as a whole bunch of rules to follow. But what I’ve found is that if you first go and learn about the philosophy behind the teaching, the ‘rules’ follow naturally and are pretty much common sense. Also, one of the biggest paradoxes of life is that just getting what they want doesn’t really make people happy. God knows us way better than we ever could, and He knows what makes us truly happy. I’d trust what He says 😉

Another way is to think of it like bowling. The Church’s rules are like gutter bumpers. If you use them, you can’t go wrong. They help guide you down the right path. But some people will say (metaphorically speaking), “Look at all that space I can’t go down because of those bumpers! Get them out of there! I want my freedom!” And so they end up as gutter balls.

I understand the temptations you feel and I feel them too, each and every day. I too have wondered why God makes us so eager for sexual activity far sooner than we are ready for it, and my girlfriend has offered, “Because it’s the ultimate test.” One of the most striking things I’ve found is that the Church actually likes sex more than the secular world does, a lot more. The Church thinks that sex is so sacred and so special, it should only be shared between people that have been sacramentally bound at the souls for the rest of their lives so that they may totally give themselves to one another. It is a much more beautiful view of sex than you will find anywhere in the modern world.

I hope you will find these forums as wonderful and uplifting a resource as I have found them! 🙂
 
Mirror Mirror- Thank you for that. I think sometimes in my quest to understand Him, I forget that He is love and that knowing God means knowing love 🙂

Equites Christi- I’m glad there’s other kids my age who think the same way. I find it so hard hard at our age to keep the faith. But I always try to tell my self that being young and insecure and confused is temporary, but God’s love is forever.
 
The next thing I always recommend is spending time with out Lord at Adoration. Just go, late at night, or early in the morning if you can, and just sit with Him. Let Him speak - not to your ears, but to your heart. You can experience absolutely amazing, supernatural things in prayer before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. The answers that you are looking for will just come to you and you will then know for certain - no doubts left.

Give it a try some time. If you love someone, don’t you want to spend time with them? With Jesus, the more time you spend with Him, the more you will love Him. He will never fail you - ever.

Christ’s peace be with you.
 
Irish_Eyes_826 said:
Thanks for all the replies!
Like I said, if there’s one thing I learned in Catholic school, its the rules. And I actually do agree with most them. A had an amazing religion teacher last year and he taught out class how to relate every rule to loving God and one another, and that is what helped me start believing in the rules again. My trouble is that right now I just don’t agree with/understand/believe all the rules of the Church, I hope that someday I will. But for now I do not, and sometimes I worry that God doesn’t like me because of this.
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It’s great taht you had this teacher that taught you this very important lesson. Like I said, I had to figure it out on my own…

As for, "right now I just don’t agree with/understand/believe all the rules of the Church…and sometimes I worry that God doesn’t like me because of this. I will simply and charitably say - “horse-pucky” 😉

A father who stopped liking his child because the child asks questions would be a pretty poor father. Our Father in heaven is definitely NOT a poor Father.
He is patient with us. Wants us to understand, but where we don’t, He wants us to trust Him, and His Church.
Just remember that, so long as you say “I don’t understand a teaching”, then you are open to learning. If you say “I disagree with a teaching”, then you’ve closed the book and made a judgement. So try to stay away from thoughts of “disagree” and continue to try to “understand”, learn and grow.

Peace
James
 
Irish Eyes 826,

I find your concern over “the rules” to be common even among older adults. In reality, the rules are there simply to protect us from things that are bad for us and others. The rules we live by as Christians are all rooted in the two great commandments of loving God and neighbor. The rules simply point out those things that are opposed to the two great commandments and those things that are necessary to realize the reality of the two great commandments.

If a person truly has a relationship with the Lord and loves the Lord above all things, the rules will not only fade as a list, but will, nevertheless, be followed more and more as God fills you with His grace. Our tendency to be put off by the rules is simply the result of the fall and our inherited human weakness. Focus on love of God and neighbor. Focus on purging yourself of selfishness and pride. By God’s grace, your love of God and neighbor will increase and your focus on self will decrease. The more this happens the more fulfilled, satisfied, and happy we become even though we may be enduring hardship.

It is better for us to recognize sin by way of the rules in order to grow closer in our relationship to the Lord, than to be oblivious and self centered in what we do. The rules help to point out sin. Avoiding sin and growing in our relationship with God and in our relationships with our fellow man, is part of being conformed to the image of Jesus. Life is about relationships. The two great commandments, and the rules that emanate from them, are what help us grow and cultivate the essential relationships that make us human beings created in the image and likeness of God.

Look to the light of Christ and see all things that are spiritual and good as the end you seek in pleasing God and loving your neighbor. Look at the things that are not part of the light of Christ as sinful and to be avoided. Be drawn to the light and the loving relationship with the Lord that is essential to what it means to be a human being. God will give you the grace to be living in a state of true freedom. God will provide you the grace so as not to be enslaved to sin. Enslavement to sin is a life in darkness that ultimately leads to spiritual death. Selfishness and pride are diametrically opposed to relationships. We have been wired by the Creator for relationships. Strive for that which God so graciously provides. Seek Him and you will not be disappointed.

God bless.
 
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