Question on Masterbation

[GrahamAPhone]

So… I masturbate, not so much anymore, but i have a question…
I have not received communion in like a month, because i have not been able to confess this mortal sin (scheduling stuff)
but the question is… Is it a mortal?
The reason I ask is because in the catechism it says:

"To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability. " (CCC 2352)

When i was like 12, I had a very good friend, he was also catholic so i trusted him, and he told me that masturbation was what you were supposed to do, so i started to do it. Since then i have obviously learned that it is a sin, and i have been trying to quit. (I have been doing good, i used to do it A LOT, and now i only do it when i fall rather than as a regular thing…) I have confessed it before, and i know i need to confess it still, but , due to my impressionable age, its addictive quality, and the fact that i don’t want to do it anymore, is it a mortal sin?

I’m not trying to justify, just clerify.

Thank you

 

[EmeraldWings]

Yes, it still is, because it is a selfish and unnatural thing and God has no part of it, and since now you are aware of it’s sinfulness, you must take action and fight it(which you are)
don’t be to hard on yourself though, remember that it is by confession that you will conquer this sin, and by the other sacraments, even if you can’t go to confession as often as you’d like, God knows you wish to go, although if you can set aside what is stopping you from going to confession then i would do that, because there is really nothing on this earth that is more important than your soul, God will take care of you, so don’t worry, He tells us not to worry, so we really should not.
before when you did not know it was a sin, it was only a venial sin, but now that you know better, God also expects better from you, and is more displeased by this sin, that should be the motive for your sorrow, it is a perfect sorrow when we are sorry we hurt God, rather than being sorry because we fear going to hell.

it is hard to overcome the sins of the flesh, but not impossible, you just need to be patient with yourself, pray more, even if it’s just a little prayer like “Jesus help me, send me graces to be pure” and pray things like the rosary when you can, also try self denial of other things, or in other words, mortification, which is the denying of self, deny little things, like salt on your food, or deny your favorite drink and have water instead, or deny yourself your favorite tv show, or video game(or whatever else you think you could deny yourself) the idea of mortification is to beable to always tell yourself no, it will help you have control over your will, rather then your feelings and human nature controlling you, you can just start out small, because you don’t want to overwhelm yourself, and then deny bigger things when you feel you can, but never do anything that would endanger your health,
also try reading the lives of the saints, and their writings, the Cure of Ares is an excellent read, or Saint Francis De Sales,
or anything on www.tanbooks.com

don’t worry, with Gods grace you can overcome this, i have myself after so long of struggling with it, and what helped me the most was confession, you get so many special graces from confession, so don’t ever pass the chance to go(but don’t beat yourself up if you just can’t make it), i know it will help you conquer your sins.

alright, take care, i’ll pray for you.

 

[GrahamAPhone]

Yes, it still is, because it is a selfish and unnatural thing and God has no part of it, and since now you are aware of it’s sinfulness, you must take action and fight it(which you are)
don’t be to hard on yourself though, remember that it is by confession that you will conquer this sin, and by the other sacraments, even if you can’t go to confession as often as you’d like, God knows you wish to go, although if you can set aside what is stopping you from going to confession then i would do that, because there is really nothing on this earth that is more important than your soul, God will take care of you, so don’t worry, He tells us not to worry, so we really should not.
before when you did not know it was a sin, it was only a venial sin, but now that you know better, God also expects better from you, and is more displeased by this sin, that should be the motive for your sorrow, it is a perfect sorrow when we are sorry we hurt God, rather than being sorry because we fear going to hell.

it is hard to overcome the sins of the flesh, but not impossible, you just need to be patient with yourself, pray more, even if it’s just a little prayer like “Jesus help me, send me graces to be pure” and pray things like the rosary when you can, also try self denial of other things, or in other words, mortification, which is the denying of self, deny little things, like salt on your food, or deny your favorite drink and have water instead, or deny yourself your favorite tv show, or video game(or whatever else you think you could deny yourself) the idea of mortification is to beable to always tell yourself no, it will help you have control over your will, rather then your feelings and human nature controlling you, you can just start out small, because you don’t want to overwhelm yourself, and then deny bigger things when you feel you can, but never do anything that would endanger your health,
also try reading the lives of the saints, and their writings, the Cure of Ares is an excellent read, or Saint Francis De Sales,
or anything on www.tanbooks.com

don’t worry, with Gods grace you can overcome this, i have myself after so long of struggling with it, and what helped me the most was confession, you get so many special graces from confession, so don’t ever pass the chance to go(but don’t beat yourself up if you just can’t make it), i know it will help you conquer your sins.

alright, take care, i’ll pray for you.

Thank you for your post, but you kind of disregarded what i had to say, (not trying to be a douche) but i still thank you for your support

Q:“
What are some examples of venial sins?
”
A:

The Catechism describes two main types of venial sin. First, one commits venial sin when “in a less serious matter [than mortal sin], he does not observe the standard prescribed by the moral law” (CCC 1862). In other words, if one does something immoral but the matter is not serious enough to be gravely immoral, he commits only venial sin.

For example, deliberate hatred can be venial sin or mortal sin depending on the seriousness of the hatred. The Catechism explains, “Hatred of the neighbor is a sin when one deliberately wishes him evil. Hatred of the neighbor is a grave sin when one deliberately desires him grave harm” (CCC 2303).

Another example is abusive language. “Abusive language is forbidden by the fifth commandment but would be a grave offense only as a result of circumstances or the offender’s intention” (CCC 2073).

The second type of venial sin involves situations in which the matter is serious enough to be gravely immoral, but the offense lacks at least one of the other essential elements required for mortal sin. The Catechism explains that one commits only venial sin “when he disobeys the moral law in a grave matter but without full knowledge or without complete consent” (CCC 1862).

An example of this could be masturbation. The Catechism explains:

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility [for masturbation] . . . one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that can lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability. (CCC 2352)

from here, about half way down
http://www.catholic.com/thisrock/quickquestions/keyword/mortal%20sin/page2

 

[thistle]

Thank you for your post, but you kind of disregarded what i had to say, (not trying to be a douche) but i still thank you for your support

Q:“
What are some examples of venial sins?
”
A:

The Catechism describes two main types of venial sin. First, one commits venial sin when “in a less serious matter [than mortal sin], he does not observe the standard prescribed by the moral law” (CCC 1862). In other words, if one does something immoral but the matter is not serious enough to be gravely immoral, he commits only venial sin.

For example, deliberate hatred can be venial sin or mortal sin depending on the seriousness of the hatred. The Catechism explains, “Hatred of the neighbor is a sin when one deliberately wishes him evil. Hatred of the neighbor is a grave sin when one deliberately desires him grave harm” (CCC 2303).

Another example is abusive language. “Abusive language is forbidden by the fifth commandment but would be a grave offense only as a result of circumstances or the offender’s intention” (CCC 2073).

The second type of venial sin involves situations in which the matter is serious enough to be gravely immoral, but the offense lacks at least one of the other essential elements required for mortal sin. The Catechism explains that one commits only venial sin “when he disobeys the moral law in a grave matter but without full knowledge or without complete consent” (CCC 1862).

An example of this could be masturbation. The Catechism explains:

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility [for masturbation] . . . one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that can lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability. (CCC 2352)

from here, about half way down
http://www.catholic.com/thisrock/quickquestions/keyword/mortal%20sin/page2

The people who try to make out that masturbation is only a venial sin (because of this, that or the other excuse) are usually the ones who want to justify continuing sinning.
Its very simple. If you know the Church teaches masturbation is a grave sin and you do it anyway in that knowledge you have committed a mortal sin.
The fact you are able to openly discuss it here means you are not mentally challenged and so you should get to a priest quickly.

 

[GrahamAPhone]

The people who try to make out that masturbation is only a venial sin (because of this, that or the other excuse) are usually the ones who want to justify continuing sinning.
Its very simple. If you know the Church teaches masturbation is a grave sin and you do it anyway in that knowledge you have committed a mortal sin.
The fact you are able to openly discuss it here means you are not mentally challenged and so you should get to a priest quickly.

I like how you think you can state how i feel, how can i come here and openly discuss it? because its a computer and text, Im not trying to continue to sin, im trying to learn, and i dont appriciate you coming in and disregarding what i have said, and telling me how i feel.
furthermore, i clearly stated that i was not looking to justify, but to discern.

 

[monorail]

While there are mitigating circumstances that may make an otherwise mortal sin venial, I believe the CCC passage you cite is explaining how God is merciful and not a bureaucrat. However, I don’t believe that it’s our place to decide ourselves that mitigating circumstances lessen the gravity of the sin – only God can rightly judge our contriteness, willingness to sin, knowledge of the gravity of the sin, etc. In the meantime, we should be conservative and not presume to receive the Eucharist until we’ve been to Confession.

 

[pachomius]

I think CCC 2352 is pretty clear - if you are addicted to this behavior, then that is a mitigating psychological factor and lessens your culpability and makes it a venial, not mortal sin.

The question is - are you truly addicted, or are you convincing yourself that you are to use it as a loophole? Are you lying to yourself to justify continuing the behavior?

I would bring that question up the next time you are at confession or with your spiritual director.

Either way, God wants us all to be chaste and with God all things are possible!

In my prayers …

 

[EmeraldWings]

Thank you for your post, but you kind of disregarded what i had to say, (not trying to be a douche) but i still thank you for your support

Q:“
What are some examples of venial sins?
”
A:

The Catechism describes two main types of venial sin. First, one commits venial sin when “in a less serious matter [than mortal sin], he does not observe the standard prescribed by the moral law” (CCC 1862). In other words, if one does something immoral but the matter is not serious enough to be gravely immoral, he commits only venial sin.

For example, deliberate hatred can be venial sin or mortal sin depending on the seriousness of the hatred. The Catechism explains, “Hatred of the neighbor is a sin when one deliberately wishes him evil. Hatred of the neighbor is a grave sin when one deliberately desires him grave harm” (CCC 2303).

Another example is abusive language. “Abusive language is forbidden by the fifth commandment but would be a grave offense only as a result of circumstances or the offender’s intention” (CCC 2073).

The second type of venial sin involves situations in which the matter is serious enough to be gravely immoral, but the offense lacks at least one of the other essential elements required for mortal sin. The Catechism explains that one commits only venial sin “when he disobeys the moral law in a grave matter but without full knowledge or without complete consent” (CCC 1862).

An example of this could be masturbation. The Catechism explains:

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility [for masturbation] . . . one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that can lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability. (CCC 2352)

from here, about half way down
http://www.catholic.com/thisrock/quickquestions/keyword/mortal%20sin/page2

ok, i understand what you’re asking now, although you should still consider what i told you in my last post, but in what you are asking, you should really talk to your priest about it, because no one here knows you to tell you one way or the other, we do not really have the authority to tell you whether you are sinning or not, that is really the job of your confessor, all we have the ability to do is tell you what is a sin, and in what cases it may not be, otherwise it would probably not be morally right for anyone here to tell you that you’re not sinning…
the answer really is to pray though, even if you don’t know what to do now or what the answer to your question is, God says ask and you shall receive, so just pray to Him for the answers, and you will get them one way or another, also pray for the grace to understand the answer He gives you…ok, that’s all i have to say, it’s better to talk in person with your priest about these things anyways, cause i know talking online on forums can be confusing, or misleading…

ok, hope everything works out for you, i’m sure you’ll get your answer, so don’t worry.

 

[baltobetsy]

OP, yours is a personalized question requiring a personalized answer. The catechism paragraph you quote says, “To form an equitable judgement…” certain things must be taken into account. Who’s doing the judging? God is, through the priest. What these passages can tell you is that it is possible that yours is not a mortal sin, but it is not for you to determine.

Your practical answer, then, is, “Discuss it thoroughly with the priest in Confession.” He can ask you appropriate questions to determine your culpability for this sin. You have to do more than confess the sin, though. You need to actually ask something like, “How do I know when or if this is a mortal sin for me?”

Betsy

 

[wjp984]

Only a priest, and a good priest for that matter, (not one of those it’s not a sin at all kind of priests) can help you make that determination. My personal opinion is that it is not a mortal sin for most people most of the time. That means it is still a mortal sin for all people some of the time. So, ya, go to Confession.

As far as receiving the Eucharist, again that probably is best determined by a priest or your own conscience. I don’t want people thinking I like killed someone or something so most of the time I will still receive the Eucharist. And don’t tell me people don’t think things since although I would never comment on it or think much of it, I usually will wonder what it is a person did when I see a Catholic, as in someone I know can receive worthily, not receive the Eucharist.

It’s embarrassing and I commend both you and the few people I know who will choose not to receive. However, and again, this is something only a priest can really determine, my opinion is that the sin you describe does not require abstaining from the Eucharist every week. Maybe just on a few occasions when you know you are going to Confession soon and want to show pennance or something. I really don’t know.

 

[m134e5]

So… I masturbate, not so much anymore, but i have a question…
I have not received communion in like a month, because i have not been able to confess this mortal sin (scheduling stuff)
but the question is… Is it a mortal?
The reason I ask is because in the catechism it says:
"To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability. " (CCC 2352)When i was like 12, I had a very good friend, he was also catholic so i trusted him, and he told me that masturbation was what you were supposed to do, so i started to do it. Since then i have obviously learned that it is a sin, and i have been trying to quit. (I have been doing good, i used to do it A LOT, and now i only do it when i fall rather than as a regular thing…) I have confessed it before, and i know i need to confess it still, but , due to my impressionable age, its addictive quality, and the fact that i don’t want to do it anymore, is it a mortal sin?

I’m not trying to justify, just clerify.

Thank you

Make an appointment with the priest for confession every two weeks or so, or get there early enough to catch him before Mass so you can receive communion. All good priests are happy to hear confessions whenever you ask them, unless they really don’t have time (which shouldn’t be an issue all the time).

 

[Gnorris601]

The same exact thing halpened to me dude. A friend told me it wuz good but now we both wana stop but we just cant. We go to confession and everything but idk if im addicted to it or not( i think i am. I just sit here then i get an urg and i have to fulfill it and i makes me crazy!

 

[Freeway4321]

Good to see you discuss this issue openly. Honestly, nothing to be ashamed of, I’m sure most people who frequent this board have rubbed a few out in there days.

As far as your question I would say if it’s an addiction it’s not as bad as if you have a good amount of control of what you’re doing. That’s how I have learned it at least…

My personal feelings on the issue… eh, I’ll save those.

 

[GrahamAPhone]

I try to go to confession, but the priest at my church only offer confession on Fridays, from 4:00 to 5:30 and they cut it off at exactly 5:30 because they have to get ready for mass, and they are the kinds of priests that only do that much because they have to. And whenever I do go to confession, seriously, I can see through the mesh thing and he is asleep. And its just like, “u huh, yeah, ok”

and I can never catch them before or after mass because I think they have a secret trap door in the vestry where they sneak out, unless there are tacos next door.

 

[Freeway4321]

I try to go to confession, but the priest at my church only offer confession on Fridays, from 4:00 to 5:30 and they cut it off at exactly 5:30 because they have to get ready for mass, and they are the kinds of priests that only do that much because they have to. And whenever I do go to confession, seriously, I can see through the mesh thing and he is asleep. And its just like, “u huh, yeah, ok”

and I can never catch them before or after mass because I think they have a secret trap door in the vestry where they sneak out, unless there are tacos next door.

Hahahaha!

Bring some tacos with you next time you go to confession?

 

[Seatuck]

I try to go to confession, but the priest at my church only offer confession on Fridays, from 4:00 to 5:30 and they cut it off at exactly 5:30 because they have to get ready for mass, and they are the kinds of priests that only do that much because they have to. And whenever I do go to confession, seriously, I can see through the mesh thing and he is asleep. And its just like, “u huh, yeah, ok”

and I can never catch them before or after mass because I think they have a secret trap door in the vestry where they sneak out, unless there are tacos next door.

Call up and make an appointment or go to another parish.

 

[BeOurDefense]

As far as receiving the Eucharist, again that probably is best determined by a priest or your own conscience. I don’t want people thinking I like killed someone or something so most of the time I will still receive the Eucharist. And don’t tell me people don’t think things since although I would never comment on it or think much of it, I usually will wonder what it is a person did when I see a Catholic, as in someone I know can receive worthily, not receive the Eucharist.

Sure, but haven’t you ever heard of the “cross your arms” approach? I understand your worry about being conspicuous by remaining in the pew during Communion, but you can go up in the line with everyone else and simply cross your arms over your chest when you get to the priest or deacon or extraordinary minister, rather than extending your tongue or your hands. The priest should give you a blessing (kind of like they do a lot of the time with babies or young kids who haven’t made their first communion yet), and it’s pretty discreet from the pews. Plus, physically, you at least come very close to Jesus and express your regret for making yourself unworthy to receive Him until you can get to confession.

If anyone up in the front is still staring at that point rather than praying and reflecting after Communion, then they’re the ones with issues.

 

[AmandaB]

I’m glad this topic has been brought up because I have a super important question regarding youth in that area. Since the Bible says that relations are to be shared between a man and his wife, a young developing teenager does not have anyone to share that with and with hormones and other such factors, it could end up being near impossible for a teenager to control these urges. I would have a hard time telling my teenage son (or daughter) that what they are doing is horribly wrong and very sinful if they truly asked me. I would say these things should definitely be avoided once you have a wife/husband to share it with. Am I wrong for feeling this?

 

[Seatuck]

Sure, but haven’t you ever heard of the “cross your arms” approach? I understand your worry about being conspicuous by remaining in the pew during Communion, but you can go up in the line with everyone else and simply cross your arms over your chest when you get to the priest or deacon or extraordinary minister, rather than extending your tongue or your hands. The priest should give you a blessing (kind of like they do a lot of the time with babies or young kids who haven’t made their first communion yet), and it’s pretty discreet from the pews. Plus, physically, you at least come very close to Jesus and express your regret for making yourself unworthy to receive Him until you can get to confession.

If anyone up in the front is still staring at that point rather than praying and reflecting after Communion, then they’re the ones with issues.

You seem new here but we have discussed this ad nauseum but the communion line is for receiving communion . It is not a blessing line. The church really hasn’t given any instructions for the blessing that you describe and it ought not to be done.

 

[Seatuck]

I’m glad this topic has been brought up because I have a super important question regarding youth in that area. Since the Bible says that relations are to be shared between a man and his wife, a young developing teenager does not have anyone to share that with and with hormones and other such factors, it could end up being near impossible for a teenager to control these urges. I would have a hard time telling my teenage son (or daughter) that what they are doing is horribly wrong and very sinful if they truly asked me. I would say these things should definitely be avoided once you have a wife/husband to share it with. Am I wrong for feeling this?

Well, I don’t agree. Our children are not wild animals who cannot control themselves. Unless they have some type of mental or emotional illness . It is up to us from their infancy to teach them self control.