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iluvmybabies

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Is is acceptable to have sex with your hubby during your period?
I was told it was a mortal sin??? :confused: :confused:
 
No it’s not a mortal sin. It’s not even a venial sin. What a wierd thing for someone to say. What reasoning did they give for that? I mean, WHY would it be a mortal sin?

We don’t, cuz my DH is WAY not into surfin’ the crimson wave, but he just finds it gross. That doesn’t make it sinful.

The Church leaves the choice of when to have marital relations up to the judgement of the couple.
 
Who told you that? Of course you can have sex with your husband any time you both want it - be it during pregnancy, during your periods, post-menopause or what have you.
 
iluvmybabies, I have seen a lot of questions like this from you. Whoever keeps telling you these odd things… stop listening to them!
 
Indeed she should. Somebody is confusing sin with Jewish law.

Jews do not have sex during periods, or for that matter, until the period is done, so many days have elapsed, and the wife has gone to the mikvah, or ritual bath, which includes nipping the fingernails down to the edge and dunking under for so long. They also don’t eat pork if they are observant Jews. They also don’t eat cheese on hamburgers, even if the meat is kosher.

This has nothing to do with Catholics.
 
:confused: Yeah I was told by my mother and then it was “confirmed” by both my father and one of the nuns that used to teach in our catholic school…

They said it had to do with something written in the Bible that states that God asks you to respect the time of your period as a cleansing time or a loss since you didn’t conceive or something like that!!!

I thought that was the safest time to have sex with your husband since you know the chances of getting pg were small?

I know, look I am seriously sorry for all these questions, seriously!! My parents didn’t like it when you would ask questions and all the questions I had bothered our priest and nuns in our Catholic school, etc…It was hard for my curiosity to be filled, and I was told what was rigth and wrong by my parents. Sometimes they would tell our priest or teacher’s or nuns for them to agree with my parents just to kill my curiosity…

So I have a lot to learn!!! 😦 Just like my db had promised he was going to give NFP a try, after talking with his parents, etc, he’s decided now that he isn’t interested in NFP after we get married…So I have to go home and figure out how to speak with this man about this situation!! 😦 Very difficult…

Like example because I was diagnosed with the precan cells, my mother told me it was my fault for not having protected sex with my exhusband-then husband- I was like huh? She was like yeah remember I told you to have your husband wear a condom?! I was like OMG! And then she was like and I know you have had premarital sex with your db so I hope you did use protection then!!!

I was like uhm…I thought we aren’t supposed to wear protection with our spouses??? And yes it was once that my db and I submitted to temptation but we are waiting till marriage and even though I have to use condoms then??? UGH!! 😦 Just so confussing and very tiring… :confused: I just don’t know how to get any of this right?! And every time I try to talk to our priest about it he just tells me “GOD FORGIVES ALL!!” It’s like OK BUT…:confused: :confused: :confused:
 
Oh my gosh, iluv. I can’t believe your mom says these things to you. You’re a grown woman now, if I were you, I’d limit the time you spend with them…they sound to be only interested in putting you down any chance they get.😦

Are you saying that your fiance is not interested in NFP now? What does ‘db’ stand for?
 
Ug… I am sorry you have such a useless priest. Next time he says that, tell him you need SPECIFIC information to educate yourself! Tell him your mom told you all kinds of wierd stuff about the faith, and you want to learn the truth! As for the nuns and your school… man, you seem to have been just surrounded with Catholics who do not know the faith, teach it badly, and call anything they don’t like a sin.

I can’t imagine how hard it would be to try and learn the truth after so much bad information! I commend you for trying so hard! Most people would have given up long ago!

I think “db” is dear boyfriend, right?
 
whatevergirl said:
Oh my gosh, iluv. I can’t believe your mom says these things to you. You’re a grown woman now, if I were you, I’d limit the time you spend with them…they sound to be only interested in putting you down any chance they get.😦

Are you saying that your fiance is not interested in NFP now? What does ‘db’ stand for?
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Dear boyfriend…lol… Ugh it’s like this with my parents all the time, my mother mostly!! It’s like I can’t get a break not one!! AND THEN SHE TOLD ME TO JUST HAVE MY UTERUS REMOVED BEFORE I GOT WORST!! She doesn’t want me to have more children, she says with the ones I have are more than enough and I have to deal with it! If and when I get married my husband will just have to deal with my 3 children all ready and be happy and that’s it! I was like why is it such a big deal if I want to have children with my husband? For her she goes, because you will ruin your kids’ lives, hello he will mistreat them once his kid is born!

I don’t spend any time with them, I live 1800 miles away and I miss my family they love my children but the whole putting me down thing is a constant thing if it’s not my mom it’s my sister if not my sister it’s my brothers…I am the embarassment to the fam…I was told countless times! 😦

But even though, I am super frustrated because I don’t want to lose my uterus at least not now and wish to have more children some day, but it’s like hello? You know? My db-dfiance wants to have a big wedding, I want a small one, I mean if it’s just he and I and my children that’s fine…So we are discussing about the money and what we want and need, etc…We have a budget and we are sticking to it… We have postponed the wedding because of family issues, but we have worked those out thanks some great advise, but now with this new health issue of mine, it’s like, I am lost!! I don’t know what to think or how to feel about it, and with my mother advising me, doesn’t help me see like the bigger picture…And she doesn’t listen to reason! She keeps telling me how my father keeps studying the Bible and how he tells her “you realize our children might be punished dearly for disobeying us and for mistreating us, you do realize GOD states that children whom disobey their parents are doomed!!” And she keeps telling me this and she keeps telling me remember don’t lie you will not be forgiven, etc…And it’s like ok so I guess I better tell the kids there is no Santa nor Easter Bunny nor toothfairy!! 😦 It’s really frustrating…

And now to know that it is ok to have sex with your spouse during pg, oh man do I feel PHTUPID!!! :o
 
😦
basilisk said:
Ug… I am sorry you have such a useless priest. Next time he says that, tell him you need SPECIFIC information to educate yourself! Tell him your mom told you all kinds of wierd stuff about the faith, and you want to learn the truth! As for the nuns and your school… man, you seem to have been just surrounded with Catholics who do not know the faith, teach it badly, and call anything they don’t like a sin.

I can’t imagine how hard it would be to try and learn the truth after so much bad information! I commend you for trying so hard! Most people would have given up long ago!

I think “db” is dear boyfriend, right?
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I am trying to learn…Well when I was in Catholic school was jr high and you weren’t expected to be curious I guess… 😦 My bad for being so…And everything gets thrown in my face, “remember this and this and that and that means you go straight to HELL!! God gives up on people and He will give up on you! Remember God is not always forgiving!! Remember if you don’t change your ways you will never enter the Kingdom of HEAVEN!” And it’s like OK I am sorry I am not perfect, and sorry I can’t keep myself from sining even if it’s the smallest way, it’s hard and I try super hard not to do so, I try to educate my children, be patient, give, love, pray, and try to follow the commandments but seriously I am not perfect and I fail…AM I CONDEMMED FOR ALL ETERNITY???

There are times I just want to give up I start thinking OK so today that I speak with my mother and she tells me to make promises to GOD about things I need to give up for Advent so that GOD can have mercy on me and grant this precan cells to go away or be treatable, what am I going to “lie” to her I promised or didn’t promise because I haven’t even thought about it but I know she will not leave me alone until I make a promise to GOD about something I love the most during this difficult time so HE may turn his Merciful eyes on me???!!! AND for such an action to be prepared to be damned some more even faster into hell???!!!

I try asking the priest about specifics, he’s too busy!!! Which is true!! Believe me! I was in confession asking so many questions and since I was there for 20 minutes he was in a hurry to go some place he needed to be I think a burial or something and was like “hm hm…hm…” I understand you have uhm you know responsibilities and not enough time, but I really want to know what’s right and what’s wrong…Like how they say the 10 commandments once broken there is no turning back you will go straight to hell even if the rest of your life you live it accordingly to God’s wishes or at least close enough…
:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:
Makes you devastated you know?! 😦
 
Also, please take a course in NFP. If you are trying to avoid, you should NOT have sex during your menstrual cycle - it can hide mucous changes. These are not considered “safe” days.
 
kage_ar said:
Also, please take a course in NFP. If you are trying to avoid, you should NOT have sex during your menstrual cycle - it can hide mucous changes. These are not considered “safe” days.
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Depends on what method of NFP you use. 👍
 
iluvmybabies said:
:confused: Yeah I was told by my mother and then it was “confirmed” by both my father and one of the nuns that used to teach in our catholic school…Well, go out and get yourself a couple Christopher West books.

They said it had to do with something written in the Bible that states that God asks you to respect the time of your period as a cleansing time or a loss since you didn’t conceive or something like that!!! Again- it’s Jews, in the Old testament.Just as Catholics do not have to pay a tithe but support the Church, so the Old Law is gone.

My parents didn’t like it when you would ask questions and all the questions I had bothered our priest and nuns in our Catholic school, etc…It was hard for my curiosity to be filled, and I was told what was rigth and wrong by my parents. Sometimes they would tell our priest or teacher’s or nuns for them to agree with my parents just to kill my curiosity…And the priests and nuns went along with them?? Sheesh!

So I have a lot to learn!!! 😦 Just like my db had promised he was going to give NFP a try, after talking with his parents, etc, he’s decided now that he isn’t interested in NFP after we get married…So I have to go home and figure out how to speak with this man about this situation!! 😦 Very difficult…There is no option for you. I strongly suggest an NFP class, Creighton if you can get it. Call your diocese family life office and ask when the next class convenes.
Click to expand...
 
I have a question. OK, this is going to sound like I am challenging the Catholic laws but I’m not, I am genuinely curious.

OK, if it is a sin to masterbate or to use a condom, I am assuming the reason is because the seed has to land in the woman. Why does it have to end up there? Is it because the woman has to have a chance to conceive? If that is so,then why is it OK for a woman in menopause to have sex? We know she can’t conceive. And why is it OK to have sex during “safe” persiods using NFP? She can’t conceive then either. I am just really confused about this whole BC issue.
 
Luv,

You need to tune out your parents! They have led you wrong so many times!

Don’t make promises. Just say, “I’ll do what I can.” Instead of saying Yes or No, say “um-hm.”

Confession - the Sacrament of Reconciliation - takes care of mortal sin. Once you have confessed, you are bound for Heaven, no matter what your father says. He sounds more like a “hellfire” fundamentalist than a Catholic.

He’s wallowing around in the OT and in ignorance, looking for sins to beat you with. It’s time to fire him as your spiritual advisor.

You may be an embarrassment to your family, but you are not an embarrassment to God. You are one of His precious children. You’re not an embarrassment to your fiance or to us, either. 👋

I think it’s time for you to give up trying to please your parents. It’s obvious to me that, no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to. That is the cross some people have to bear.

But it is a lot easier to bear that cross than to keep trying to please them, and failing. Know that you are a good person and a good mother.

The Commandment says to honor your parents. That doesn’t mean obeying them when they are wrong, or treating what they tell you as the truth - it just means treat them with respect. You can do that without letting them make you feel small.

It takes practice! (I speak from experience…) Keep working on “I’ll do what I can” and “um-hm” until they become 2nd nature, and until your parents get used to it!

In the meantime, read Christopher West’s “Good News About Sex and Marriage.” Read your Catechism. And you will get a lot of info by reading the Ask an Apologist forum. When I first came here, I read all of it! I still read it every day.

God bless you,

Ruthie
 
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