Questions about 2 Confessions

[BuphiloCatholic]

I recently came back to the church after 6 or 7 years away. Actually I went to “check the place out” on a saturday, and as I sat watching people going in and out of the confessional I literally heard in my head (in my own inner voice) the Lord saying “What are you waiting for, come to me”. So I got up right then I went into the confessional and then i confessed everything I could think of, all the heavy duty stuff. I have never more sincerely want to confess or be absolved in all my life. But I am quite certain I left a lot out. Not on purpose mind you, but it was fast and not as detailed as it obviously could have been.

I have read on other similar threads that when the priest absolved me all of my sins were absolved.

Does that mean that not only all of the sins I confessed, but literally all the sins in my life up until three weeks ago, has been absolved, and only what I subsequently have done needs absolution? Or if I remember things I forgot to say, should I go ahead and add them to my next confession?

Moreover last week, when I went to confession, I was a little late and the priest was in a bit of a hurry, and he didn’t give me any penance to do. is that still a valid confession? I assume it is, because I went in good faith and confessed whatever I could think of. and I was absolved.

I am don’t want to be to scrupulous. So I am really go trusting that whatever I need is in God’s hands and he will shepherd me as he sees fit. But a lot of people raise a lot of concerns in these threads that raise my own scruples when i read them, and I don’t know what to make of it. Please help!

 

[prodigalson12]

Both were valid, the penance thing is the hard part to deal with, since it requires you to make up your own since he didn’t give you any. I’m going off the cuff here, so someone chime in and correct me if I’m wrong, but you should either get that priests recommendation for the proper penance, given that situation, or search your heart and see what you can do to formulate something equivalent in that area for it on your own.

There are advantages of still explaining about a past sin, even though you are absolved of it, just for closure, and perhaps, a penance adjustment could be amended in the process for it as well, but technically, you are absolved of it, as stated before.

 

[puzzleannie]

I I am don’t want to be to scrupulous. So I am really go trusting that whatever I need is in God’s hands and he will shepherd me as he sees fit. But a lot of people raise a lot of concerns in these threads that raise my own scruples when i read them, and I don’t know what to make of it. Please help!

yes and yes
all the sins of your past life were absolved in that first confession, even the ones you forgot, and yes your confession is valid even when the priest does not assign a penance, or ask you to say an act of contrition. Say the act of contrition and another prayer or penitential act on your own afterword. The Our Father said slowly and meditatively is always good.

a lot of people here, sadly do suffer from scruples and tend to project their own worries on others, probably without meaning to. Confession is meant to be the experience you had, Jesus calls, we respond, we confess, we repent, we ask forgiveness, we are absolved, we are returned to that pure state of sanctity we enjoyed at our baptism. We are happy. It is of very little use spiritually to Monday-morning quarterback yourself or the priest in confession. much more beneficial to form the habit of the daily examen, a short, reflective look back on your day in thanks, express sorrow for any sin, make a resolution for tomorrow, pray, sleep in peace.

you might want, if it has been a while, to sit down with the priest at another time and ask for a refresher course on confession and anything else you have questions about

welcome home

 

[JRKH]

I went through something similar when I returned to The Church, only I had been away for about 30 years. My first confession coming back was not really a good one, though father was very understanding and gentle with me.
Afterwards, as I learned more and remembered more, I felt I did not want to keep going back and naming things that I hav forgotten in my previous confession(s).

So what I did was to sit down and, rather than look at my deeds, I looked at the underlying weaknesses that led to the deeds. In this used the “Seven Deadly Sins” as my guide. I found that most of my bad behavior in the past was tracable to these. I then wrote out for myself a confession based on what I learned. How Pride led me to certain things like drugs. How Lust led me to hurt many people… and so on.
I took this paper with me and read it to my confessor. The hardest thing I think I’ve ever done. His only real comment was that it was obvious I had thought all of this through. He then gave me absolution and a penence (too light I thought).
After I got home I destroyed the paper and deleted it from my computer as well.

While I still struggle with guilt from my past, I feel much more cleansed and don’t feel that, if I suddenly remember some deed I had forgotten, that I need to confess it.

Hope this helps you

Peace
James

 

[John_Russell_Jr]

I recently came back to the church after 6 or 7 years away. Actually I went to “check the place out” on a saturday, and as I sat watching people going in and out of the confessional I literally heard in my head (in my own inner voice) the Lord saying “What are you waiting for, come to me”. So I got up right then I went into the confessional and then i confessed everything I could think of, all the heavy duty stuff. I have never more sincerely want to confess or be absolved in all my life. But I am quite certain I left a lot out. Not on purpose mind you, but it was fast and not as detailed as it obviously could have been.

I have read on other similar threads that when the priest absolved me all of my sins were absolved.

Does that mean that not only all of the sins I confessed, but literally all the sins in my life up until three weeks ago, has been absolved, and only what I subsequently have done needs absolution? Or if I remember things I forgot to say, should I go ahead and add them to my next confession?

Moreover last week, when I went to confession, I was a little late and the priest was in a bit of a hurry, and he didn’t give me any penance to do. is that still a valid confession? I assume it is, because I went in good faith and confessed whatever I could think of. and I was absolved.

I am don’t want to be to scrupulous. So I am really go trusting that whatever I need is in God’s hands and he will shepherd me as he sees fit. But a lot of people raise a lot of concerns in these threads that raise my own scruples when i read them, and I don’t know what to make of it. Please help!

My dear friend

All your sins were absolved and you can go to holy communion unless new sins occur. But as time permits you must do a thorough examination of conscience and make sure you confess every mortal sin you didn’t remember at the time. Maybe write them down and tell the priest you’d like to confess the following old sins you had forgotten about. You are forgiven them but must confess them at your next confession which should be very soon to make your absolution valid. Don’t get scruples though. Just write it down onfess it as said very soon and burn the paper. It is very important to confess every mortal sin even if we are rushed or forgetful. And welcome home.

God bless you and pray for me please:thumbsup:

John

 

[BuphiloCatholic]

First of all thanks everyone for the helpful comments. And Second, statements like John Russell’s are exactly the kind of statements that raise my scruples and make me think that I couldn’t make a good confession or get absolution if I tried. I am 35 years old. Before this month, my last confession was at least 6 or 7 and perhaps as much 10 years ago (I actually can’t remember when or where exactly my previous confession occurred)…and before that, my previous confession was at least more than a 15 years prior. That’s 25 years of Mortal Sins (every Sunday Mass/ HDOO Mass I missed in 25 years time, for instance). How could I confess every mortal sin in a 25 year period? Even if I could remember them all, physically I’d have to be be in the confessional for years!

So then, which is it? Have I been actually absolved and forgiven and returned to a state of grace, even though my confession may not have been perfectly complete? Or am i still damned in a state of mortal sin until I confess every last mortal sin in my life perfectly?

This worries me terribly…

 

[John_Russell_Jr]

First of all thanks everyone for the helpful comments. And Second, statements like John Russell’s are exactly the kind of statements that raise my scruples and make me think that I couldn’t make a good confession or get absolution if I tried. I am 35 years old. Before this month my last confession was at least 6 or 7 and perhaps as much 10 years (I actually ca’t remember when or where exactly may previous confession occurred…and before that my previous confession far more that 15 year gap. That’s 25 years of Mortal Sins (every Sunday Mass/ HDOO Mass I missed in 25 years time, for instance. How could I confess every mortal sin in a 25 year period? Even if I could remember them I’d be in the confessional for years!

So then, which is it? Have I been actually absolved and forgiven and returned to a ste of grace, even though my confession may not have been perfectly complete? Or am i still damned in a state of mortal sin until I confess every last mortal sin in my life perfectly?

This worries me terribly…

My dear friend

You are absolved if you did your best even if you did not confess every sin because you were rushed. It’s probably impossible to remember every sin after so long based on what you say here. It suffices to say I committed this sin several times if your not sure and even if it was 100’s of times. So it’s not so hard to confess all if it’s a lot. But you do need to confess the lot of mortal sins. It may take several confessions to get it all out. Or you can finalise it in one. But if you have the rigt intention you are absolved, in grace and can go to holy communion. Just say several times for this one, several times for that one…and so on. And you’ve covered the lot. But don’t let the devil depress you or start scruples. God knows you did your best and has forgiven you. It’s just a routine we have to go through because we have frail memories and forget things, especially over a log period of time.

Rejoice in Gods love, forgiveness and mercy. Your completely forgiven. You just have to finish the process at your next confession/s as soon as you can. But go to holy communion whilst in grace of course. I’m sorry if what I say upsets you but I don’t make the rules and your fine. Whenever confession is on next- lets say next sat- just go and confess them and the exact number does not matter if you don’t know, just say several times in this case.

If you’ve permanently forgotten a sin you can’t confess it so forget those ones. There forgiven. It can take a few weeks to fix a situation like this but don’t worry about it.

I’ll pray for you. Remember me too please.

God bless you:thumbsup:

John

 

[BuphiloCatholic]

Rejoice in Gods love, forgiveness and mercy. Your completely forgiven. You just have to finish the process at your next confession/s as soon as you can. But go to holy communion whilst in grace of course. I’m sorry if what I say upsets you but I don’t make the rules and your fine. Whenever confession is on next- lets say next sat- just go and confess them and the exact number does not matter if you don’t know, just say several times in this case.

John

I do not understand am I forgiven or not? If I am forgiven, what is there to finish? If there is something I need to do yet, how can I be forgiven yet? And how can I be in a state of grace and able to receive communion?

My first confession already mentioned everything I had done in general, non specific terms (i.e., missing mass for 25 years)

I remember sins now that occurred when I was 19 (16 years ago) do I confess them?

Where do I stop, how do I stop, or do I just never get relief and peace? (btw I felt so free when I walked out of that confession 3 weeks ago, but now I am beginning to think it was all a delusion on my part and I am still not saved).

help someone.

 

[acadian]

Yes, you are forgiven for everything you confessed and everything you honestly forgot.

If you remember mortal sins, it is an act of humility to admit them in confession the next time you go. Not something to lose sleep about, however.

 

[John_Russell_Jr]

I do not understand am I forgiven or not? If I am forgiven, what is there to finish? If there is something I need to do yet, how can I be forgiven yet? And how can I be in a state of grace and able to receive communion?

My first confession already mentioned everything I had done in general, non specific terms (i.e., missing mass for 25 years)

I remember sins now that occurred when I was 19 (16 years ago) do I confess them?

Where do I stop, how do I stop, or do I just never get relief and peace? (btw I felt so free when I walked out of that confession 3 weeks ago, but now I am beginning to think it was all a delusion on my part and I am still not saved).

help someone.

My dear friend

Just relax. Your absolution is valid but you just need to follow the rules to stay that way. It’s easy and nothing to worry about.

Allow for the fact you have a poor memory and are very imperfect in every way like us all. God knows you did your best and has forgiven you. But it’s the same for everyone if you have sin/s you have just remembered you must confess them next time and your always ok. Your missing mass confession was fine because the priest had a very good idea of all there. With the sins when you were 19 y.o. if you didn’t cover them by saying several times or very many times and I’m not sure how many or if you never mentioned that or those sin/s you need to confess them next time. So long as you have the intention of confessing any sins you’d forgotten at your next confession your fine, in grace and no problems. I know a friend who was away a long time who kept confessing forgotten sins here and there for a month or two but kept going to holy communion knowing he was in grace. It seemed like it would never end at first. But God gradually brought all to his mind and he confessed all, and though it seemed like it’ll take forever soon enough it was over and he’d completed the task. God forgives all the sins but requires you confess them if you remember any you’ve forgotten. That’s the rule. If you remember any you must confess them to keep Gods forgiveness. You are forgiven but need to follow this rule to maintain Gods forgiveness. I know your worried there will be no end. But it will be over very soon and you’ll have completely unburdened yourself and allowed God to annoint all the wounds on your soul. It’s for your own good. Don’t think it’ll never end. Very soon the slate will be completely clean and you’ll have the joy of a clear conscience. It’s a small price to pay for heaven. If you start to have scruples that’s quie a different thing. I think you just need to get it all out as best you can at this stage. Don’t stress. Just relax write it down, confess it and it’s over. If you rememer anything confess it next time as a sin you’d forgotten about. It’s for your own good as said.

Spend your time rejoicing in the love, forgiveness and mercy of God as you go through this process of asking your Dad God for forgiveness and he heals you in confession.

It’s not that bad and it’ll be over quickly. It does finish very soon.

Go to holy communion assured your in grace whilst going through this and enjoy it too. Stop worrying. You’ve taken the big step and a few more little steps will keep you on the path the big step has put you on. And you’ve done nothing wrong in recent weeks as you were forgiven. God does not condemn us for what we don’t know. Just get to weekly confession for a few weeks if needs be. Or as often as you can.

Welcome home to the church too. I’ll pray for you.

God bless you and God loves you, you love yourselfby allowing the love of God into your soul which starts in confession as your doing:thumbsup:

John

 

[MtnDwellar]

I do not understand am I forgiven or not? If I am forgiven, what is there to finish? If there is something I need to do yet, how can I be forgiven yet? And how can I be in a state of grace and able to receive communion?

My first confession already mentioned everything I had done in general, non specific terms (i.e., missing mass for 25 years)

I remember sins now that occurred when I was 19 (16 years ago) do I confess them?

Where do I stop, how do I stop, or do I just never get relief and peace? (btw I felt so free when I walked out of that confession 3 weeks ago, but now I am beginning to think it was all a delusion on my part and I am still not saved).

help someone.

When the priest gave you absolution and you made your penance, all of your sins were forgiven. All of your sins - mentioned or not.

You were returned to a state of grace!

The reasons that we go back to confess forgotten sins are that by the blessed sacrament we are given actual graces to avoid that particular sin. Also, it develops humility within us. It gives a willingness to live in accordance with the truth.

AND - just for me. I feel better. I think that it has to do with feeling like I got a guarantee that those sins were forgiven.

 

[BuphiloCatholic]

My dear friend

Just relax. Your absolution is valid but you just need to follow the rules to stay that way. It’s easy and nothing to worry about.

Allow for the fact you have a poor memory and are very imperfect in every way like us all. God knows you did your best and has forgiven you.

If you remember any you must confess them to keep Gods forgiveness.

 

[BuphiloCatholic]

These two statements seem to be incompatible to me. Does God forgive me and then unforgive me? I truly don’t understand.

I thought was I was absolved and had performed the requested penance, it was over and there was no way to retroactively invalidate the absolution. Though obviously I could sin again.

Seriously, I don’t think the priest is going to sit there for an hour while I confess hundreds of sins at a spell. Generally they seem to want to get the transaction over with very quickly (like less than 5 minutes). I could list Masses I’ve missed for weeks alone.

By the way I am going to confession at 3:30 this afternoon anyway and I will ask my confessor about it and follow his advice for what to do in the future.

 

[Bookcat]

I recently came back to the church after 6 or 7 years away. Actually I went to “check the place out” on a saturday, and as I sat watching people going in and out of the confessional I literally heard in my head (in my own inner voice) the Lord saying “What are you waiting for, come to me”. So I got up right then I went into the confessional and then i confessed everything I could think of, all the heavy duty stuff. I have never more sincerely want to confess or be absolved in all my life. But I am quite certain I left a lot out. Not on purpose mind you, but it was fast and not as detailed as it obviously could have been.

I have read on other similar threads that when the priest absolved me all of my sins were absolved.

Does that mean that not only all of the sins I confessed, but literally all the sins in my life up until three weeks ago, has been absolved, and only what I subsequently have done needs absolution? Or if I remember things I forgot to say, should I go ahead and add them to my next confession?

Moreover last week, when I went to confession, I was a little late and the priest was in a bit of a hurry, and he didn’t give me any penance to do. is that still a valid confession? I assume it is, because I went in good faith and confessed whatever I could think of. and I was absolved.

I am don’t want to be to scrupulous. So I am really go trusting that whatever I need is in God’s hands and he will shepherd me as he sees fit. But a lot of people raise a lot of concerns in these threads that raise my own scruples when i read them, and I don’t know what to make of it. Please help!

Confession of sins in general…what do we have to confess??

only mortal sins must be confessed (and in number and kind)

no venial sin needs be confessed. they can be forgiven in other ways …though it is good and recommended to confess them…at least some of them…

if one is doubtful than one had at the time --a grave matter, full knowledge and full consent. then one is NOT obliged to confess it.

if one is scrupulous or has a tendency towards scruples or has scruples in some degree then it is advised that one not confess a doubtful sin either a doubtful mortal or a doubtful venial sin.

if one has finds himself confessing doubtful things all the time …then it may be best not to. or he may find himself with scruples if not already…

if one is does not have yet a good formation in the Faith --it can be very good to confess it and thus speak with the priest about it and get more informed or advice.

(side note…and of course if it is a sexual sin (an action …that was done …thoughts can be mortal of course…but one can be tempted more often in this way without consent) --but one is not sure if all the three aspects were met --it can be particularly good to confess it and seek advice for this can be a tricky and difficult area and the matter in sexual sins is grave (lust, pornogrpic, fornication etc --things though against modesty are not neccesarily grave )…though one can not have full knowledge or full consent…)

AND IF SOMETHING IS DOUBTFUL --AND ONE DOES CONFESS IT, ONE NEEDS TO SAY IT IS DOUBTFUL …FOR IT IS NOT CERTAIN AND SHOULD NOT BE CONFESSED AS CERTAIN WHEN IT IS NOT…

So what needs be confessed strictly?

if mortal -yes.

If venial – nope.

if doubtful “sin” either doubtful “mortal” or doubtful at all …nope.

if one is lax -or in need of advice etc (see above) and it is a doubtful ‘mortal’ sin – it can be good to mention it–but as doubtful.

And it is recommended for someone with a normal conscience to confess “doubtful mortal sins”

if one is scrupulous or have a tendency etc that way-- and it is doubtful --it is advised not to.

Of course as mentioned…any doubtful sin that is confessed…one needs to say it was doubtful in some way…

**as to honestly forgotten mortal sins…when one remembers them one needs to confess them the next time they go to confession (and the remember them of course)…they were absolved…but still need to be confessed.
**

 

[Bookcat]

These two statements seem to be incompatible to me. Does God forgive me and then unforgive me? I truly don’t understand.

I thought was I was absolved and had performed the requested penance, it was over and there was no way to retroactively invalidate the absolution. Though obviously I could sin again.

Seriously, I don’t think the priest is going to sit there for an hour while I confess hundreds of sins at a spell. Generally they seem to want to get the transaction over with very quickly (like less than 5 minutes). I could list Masses I’ve missed for weeks alone.

If you forget a mortal sin honestly…

You are still absolved (forgiven)…(mortal sins must all be absolved or none…and if one forgets one …it is absolved…but the obligation to confess it remains)

but one has an obligation to submit that sin to the keys as they say…to confess it in the next confession (unless one again honestly forgets…but try to remember)

It one then does not confess a mortal sin on purpose…then one sins and that confession is invalid and one is still in ones sins…

but this is a deliberate act…not forgetting!

So the sin is absolved with the other mortal sins…but one has still an obligation to say it in the next confession…one can say’'I forgot to say i killed 3 persons …or whatever…

if it is a venial sin that is forgotten…well not need to confess it…and if one was sorry for it etc…it was forgiven when one said an all the sins of my life…etc.

 

[MtnDwellar]

By the way I am going to confession at 3:30 this afternoon anyway and I will ask my confessor about it and follow his advice for what to do in the future.

Good plan

 

[BuphiloCatholic]

Good plan

Thought I would mention this great article “Scrupulosity: The Occupational Hazard of the Catholic Moral Life”, which I found here on Catholic Answer just now:

catholic.com/thisrock/2006/0611fea5.asp

 

[JRKH]

By the way I am going to confession at 3:30 this afternoon anyway and I will ask my confessor about it and follow his advice for what to do in the future.

That is the best advise of all, when in doubt, check wothy your confessor.

Peace
James

 

[John_Russell_Jr]

These two statements seem to be incompatible to me. Does God forgive me and then unforgive me? I truly don’t understand.

I thought was I was absolved and had performed the requested penance, it was over and there was no way to retroactively invalidate the absolution. Though obviously I could sin again.

Seriously, I don’t think the priest is going to sit there for an hour while I confess hundreds of sins at a spell. Generally they seem to want to get the transaction over with very quickly (like less than 5 minutes). I could list Masses I’ve missed for weeks alone.

My dear friend

Check with your confessor but if you get bad advice for your own sake just confess the sin and not each time but if its many just say several times and that’ll cover your whole life when in doubt. It is a serious obligation. If you confess that you stole something you are absolved but the absolution is invalid if you do not intend to make restitution for the theft or do not do it later. If you remember sins just confess them. You can confess a lot in 5 or 10 mins but if necessary make an appointment. It sounds like you have doubts about how to make a confession. So have a good talk to your confessor and ask him. I think most of your problems come from not knowing how to confess sins. And a lot of humility is needed here. But remember although the priest is the one your confessing to God is present there in a special way and it is God who you are asking forgiveness from. A God of mercy is there to heal and help you but if you don’t go about the process properly you hinder Gods ability to help you. So yes, have a good talk to your confessor. But take no chances if you know you missed a sin. It’s not worth it. The priest has heard it all a thousand times before. Get his advice and just humble yourself. Its not so bad.

God bless you:thumbsup:

John

 

[LilyM]

Seriously, I don’t think the priest is going to sit there for an hour while I confess hundreds of sins at a spell. Generally they seem to want to get the transaction over with very quickly (like less than 5 minutes). I could list Masses I’ve missed for weeks alone.

With all respect, it sounds like you’re making things unnecessarily complicated. The sin of missing mass is the sin of missing mass is the sin of missing mass. It’s the one sin, no matter how many times you committed it.

It shouldn’t take you weeks to confess this particular sin, it should be a simple matter of naming it succinctly - ‘I missed mass’ - and then give the number of times, or at least a rough estimate - ‘five times/a hundred times/nearly every week for twenty years’.