Questions about modest dressing

[cutiesmak]

The “regular” LDS rules are pretty simple. They are what I call “sleeves to knees” and I can totally agree with that. I always cover my shoulders, don’t wear midriff tops and wear things roughly to my knees. Most LDS girls I know dress like this, because it’s easy and it’s definitely modest without being what I think is over the top.

Here is a new magazine for modest fashion that is coming out next month: elizamagazine.com/news.php

I kind of think that the Church doesn’t emphasize modesty enough. We would always get yelled at in school (parish school) for hiking our skirts up, but then our teachers wouldn’t talk about why modesty was important and how it shows that a girl values herself.

 

[puzzleannie]

Pardon me for my faux pa. I provided the link in my second post, after I realized my mistake. Other people provided the link as well. I have tried to respond positively to your questions. Is there a reason you are so upset? Is there something about me that makes you defensive and somewhat rude to me? You’re welcome to PM me.

Kim

I am not in the least upset, my first response was offered before any link was available, I am merely asking to be forgiven for not understanding your reference, and my responses have been quite mild. as I have said many times I do not respond to persons on this forum, I respond to posts.

 

[Jacafamala]

I’ve never seen Catholics who dress this way. Some of the sites I investigated last night reminded me of Fundimentalist LDS and I was suprised to learn of Catholics who dressed like that.

Please. I mean no offense. I am genuinely curious. I’ve also read about Islamic women the hijab and am curious about wearing a head covering.

If you don’t mind my nosiness… what made some of you decide to dress modestly? Were you raised that way? Did you join a Church that stressed dressing modestly? Did you marry someone who wanted you to dress that way?

Am I a totally off base, dummy-head, who just doesn’t GET it? Was it just a religious revelation to you? Just, being a subjective word

I’m actually intrigued. I’m thinking of trying to slowly move toward modest dressing,maybe wearing skirts more, and see how “liberating” it is. Once again a “subjective” word, I’ve heard Muslim women calling a hijab liberating.

Kim

Hi Kim: I’m Catholic and have started wearing skirts more or less exclusively over the past year. The “prairie look” really isn’t for me, either. I do love really long skirts though, and I’m tall (5’ 10".) So, long in the regular stores isn’t very long on me. For this reason, I’ve bought a couple skirts from one of the Muslim clothing stores on the internet. I’ve also bought long skirts from an Orthodox or Hassidic (not sure which) Jewish web site. I do wear shorter skirts in the summer, but I really like a modest cut.

Was it just a religious revelation to me? Well, I think it did have something to do with the blessed mother somehow. I really love Mary and want to be like her–in my own clumsy way.

I have no problem with the more modest pants, other than I don’t find them as feminine, and I like feminine clothes. I don’t like where the fashion industry is headed with these tight low cut pants. No offense to others who wear them, lots of very nice ladies wear them, but it’s just not for me–or my girls. I think I look better in skirts anyway, and I feel much less self-conscious. Skirts are very feminine and I like that. I usually pair them with a tee shirt and or sweater, and feel like I could go anywhere–to mass, to a party, or out to do errands. I don’t have to think about whether I look ok for where I’m headed so much anymore, because in a skirt I feel that I look fine.
But even home doing chores, skirts usually work well for me ( I also bought a bunch of “bistro” style aprons which help keep the longer skirts in good condition when I’m cooking/cleaning.)
I hope that helps some! Enjoy your more modest clothing. I think that as you adjust to it, you really will find it is much more freeing.
Pax Christi,
Ann

 

[Jacafamala]

Here is a new magazine for modest fashion that is coming out next month: elizamagazine.com/news.php

I kind of think that the Church doesn’t emphasize modesty enough. We would always get yelled at in school (parish school) for hiking our skirts up, but then our teachers wouldn’t talk about why modesty was important and how it shows that a girl values herself.

Oh, thank you! It’s about time someone came out with a decent women’s fashion mag…That looks great! I’m signing up for it just because I want to support it, and I hope it’s a success. We need style with class.

I agree, modesty needs to be emphasized more these days when the fashions have become so raunchy. I think it’s up to the women in the church to do this, but how do you do it tactfully? What do you think?
Pax Christi,
Ann

 

[cutiesmak]

That’s a good question. I have a hard time because my church is primarily Latino and some of the Latina girls (particularly teenagers) wear REALLY sexy clothes to mass.

I guess I just try to lead by example. I always make sure to put together cute outfits that are modest, but also fashionable. I’ve had friends from church say I have good style, and I hope that rubs off on the younger girls there.

 

[mesquite_magic]

Thanks Ann. Those were the answers I was looking for.

Kim

 

[Jacafamala]

Thanks Ann. Those were the answers I was looking for.

Kim

Sure, Kim. I’m glad if it was helpful. Most women wear pants, of course, but you know, I think I’m seeing more and more women in longer skirts these days. Maybe it’s just because I’m more tuned into it, I don’t know.
Pax Christi,
Ann

 

[Jacafamala]

That’s a good question. I have a hard time because my church is primarily Latino and some of the Latina girls (particularly teenagers) wear REALLY sexy clothes to mass.

I guess I just try to lead by example. I always make sure to put together cute outfits that are modest, but also fashionable. I’ve had friends from church say I have good style, and I hope that rubs off on the younger girls there.

Is there a ladies group like Women of Mary at your church? Maybe there’s some good literature on modesty that could be made available for the girls at church. Or else some kind of a women’s meeting (during Religious Ed time) where the girls can share in small groups on thew topic of how to be more like the blessed mother? Perhaps that could be a very subtle and non-threatening way to teach them about modesty, a little at a time.
Pax Christi,
Ann

 

[aboverubies]

The “regular” LDS rules are pretty simple. They are what I call “sleeves to knees” and I can totally agree with that. I always cover my shoulders, don’t wear midriff tops and wear things roughly to my knees. Most LDS girls I know dress like this, because it’s easy and it’s definitely modest without being what I think is over the top.

Here is a new magazine for modest fashion that is coming out next month: elizamagazine.com/news.php

How gorgeous is that 1950’s style red dress on the opening page. It is exactly my taste. I would love to wear something like that to Mass teamed with my antique crotched lace mantilla. Any excuse to be completely and utterly girly.

My next skill to learn is sewing my own clothes. I just can’t find the exact styles that I like, with the right amount of modesty, in fabrics I like. I favour things that are a little bit unique - I tend to only find stuff like that in op-shops. I used to to be a big op-shopper in my student days but I just don’t have the time these days; and it’s a bit hit and miss.

I love skirts and dresses best too. However I spend most of my days in The Mother’s Uniform of jeans and a t-shirt. A dress can actually become not so modest when you are crawling around on the floor pretending to be a tiger or scaling the climbing equipment in the park.

I have found a way around this…at the moment I am enjoying wearing little summer dresses over my jeans…the best of both worlds. Often this type of dress is a bit on the short side so the jeans take care of the shortfall in modesty. Also, the necklines can be a bit low so I just wear a cami underneath. Nice little cardi on top when it gets cool, as it is now that we are heading into our winter. I just bought a gorgeously soft green angora & wooI cardi; can’t wait to wear it. I love being a girl.

 

[Jacafamala]

QUOTE,aboverubies;How gorgeous is that 1950’s style red dress on the opening page. It is exactly my taste. I would love to wear something like that to Mass teamed with my antique crotched lace mantilla. Any excuse to be completely and utterly girly.

Yes! I love that dress, too.

My next skill to learn is sewing my own clothes. I just can’t find the exact styles that I like, with the right amount of modesty, in fabrics I like. I favour things that are a little bit unique - I tend to only find stuff like that in op-shops. I used to to be a big op-shopper in my student days but I just don’t have the time these days; and it’s a bit hit and miss.

I’m trying to re-learn sewing machine skills. I’ve forgotten how to use my machine (it’s been years!!!), but I’m working on it.

I love skirts and dresses best too. However I spend most of my days in The Mother’s Uniform of jeans and a t-shirt. A dress can actually become not so modest when you are crawling around on the floor pretending to be a tiger or scaling the climbing equipment in the park.

Lol.

I have found a way around this…at the moment I am enjoying wearing little summer dresses over my jeans…the best of both worlds. Often this type of dress is a bit on the short side so the jeans take care of the shortfall in modesty. Also, the necklines can be a bit low so I just wear a cami underneath. Nice little cardi on top when it gets cool, as it is now that we are heading into our winter. I just bought a gorgeously soft green angora & wooI cardi; can’t wait to wear it. I love being a girl.

Have you seen how the Muslim girls wear their pants? With the long tunics? Indian ladies do that, too. I like that look–I think it’s very cool.
Pax Christi,
Ann

 

[aboverubies]

Yes! I love that dress, too.

I’m trying to re-learn sewing machine skills. I’ve forgotten how to use my machine (it’s been years!!!), but I’m working on it.

Lol.

Have you seen how the Muslim girls wear their pants? With the long tunics? Indian ladies do that, too. I like that look–I think it’s very cool.
Pax Christi,
Ann

I like it too…I guess I’ve made a kind of Aussie version of the look lol!

 

[chevalier]

It’s all in creativity, isn’t it? Hehe.

 

[SeekerJen]

How gorgeous is that 1950’s style red dress on the opening page. It is exactly my taste. I would love to wear something like that to Mass teamed with my antique crotched lace mantilla. Any excuse to be completely and utterly girly.

Agreed. I’ve recently seen similar dresses at Macy’s. Might need to splurge a bit on a cute new summer dress.

 

[Lissla_Lissar]

The Indian outfits are called salwar kameez, and they’re lovely and very comfy. There are some pretty nice ones here. I’m lucky enough to live in a city with a lot of Indian shops, and I have a pretty red one I wear for loafing around. It just occurred to me that they’d make lovely maternity clothes. Hmm.

exoticindiaart.com/textiles/SalwarKameez/

Sewing is a more than worthwhile activity. Start with something simple, like a gored or a-line skirt, and work up.

 

[strugglingalong]

My girlfriend and I just went through the issue of modesty. This book, Dressing with Dignity, helped alot!!! You can see it here: valoramedia.com/dignity.html . It is a very solid, orthodox, traditional book reflecting a catholic perspective on women’s dressing. It is a modern phenomenon to see woman dressing so immodestly. Much of what we even consider modest today would never have been accepted or considered modest 50 years ago or so. Get with the times? No, get with the faith is really the issue. We need to please God, not man and not man’s times. Fashions may change, God does not.

Beyond modesty, too, the question of femininity comes up. What is the way women ought to dress to express their genuine femininity? Do pants and outfits that men wear do that? I say they don’t. Dresses and skirts are feminine. Men could never wear them without betraying their gender and, I’d say, dress ought to be gender-specific. Also, dresses and skirts tend not to show off the woman’s body to a man in the same way as pants, many of which are worn very tightly today. Women may not realize just how easily a man may get ideas in his head. Men are wired different and have a very strong physical reaction to a woman’s figure and body. As Colleen Hammond says in her book, everything sacred and precious is hidden, not revealed. Diamonds are found hidden in the earth, not growing on trees. The Blessed Sacrament is in a tabernacle, not sitting out for all to see. To cover one’s body is not to ignore it or to be ashamed of it, but rather to acknowledge the sacred dignity of the body.

It is difficult today for a woman. Many people are caught up in the modern view that women’s bodies are to be shown and their figure flaunted, which only plays into the sexually immoral atmosphere of our times. A woman who respects herself enough to cover her body, waiting for the one person who deserves to see it when the time is right (i.e. her husband), is rare but is very pleasing to Our Lord.

Anyway, there’s some thoughts. I know it may not be popular but I think women ought to dress in a feminine, modest way distinct from men. Dresses and skirts are optimal as they express femininity and conceal the figure/curves (if, that is, it is a modest, long enough, dress or skirt). Radical feminism, sadly, has destroyed true femininity and also attacks true masculinity in the process. We need, as Catholic men and women, to recapture genuine masculinity and femininity in the face of a culture that focuses on the body as a means to casual pleasure and sexual immorality.

Christ’s peace to you.

 

[strugglingalong]

Yep, it’s certainly possible to dress modestly, even conservatively, within the boundaries of modern clothing. Reverting to 1800-es has an agenda to it and it’s more about “being modest” (if you catch my drift) than dressing modestly. Some people make it sound like the sight of a woman in trousers will lead men to impure thoughts (regardless of my belief that dresses typically look nicer).

I would, incidentally, argue that pants can tend men to impure thoughts. First because it reveals the behind of a woman much more, revealing the shape. Women aren’t turned on so much by a man’s behind but a man can get more thoughts, even subconsciously. Also, it directs the eyes there not to mention the way pants fit can lead the eyes to think of the lower part of a woman’s body in a way that a skirt never would because the cut doesn’t draw the eyes to the crouch, causing unwanted thoughts about that area or of the woman’s body as a whole.

Obviously they are not as feminine but I think, too, they are less modest than skirts and dresses.

My few cents in the jar.

Christ’s peace to you.

 

[chevalier]

Depends really. Not all trousers have to be as tight as to make a problem. It’s the way they’re made these days, but they don’t have to be made like that at all. At any rate, my preference is for dresses and skirts for girls, though if the trousers aren’t particularly huggy, I don’t really mind.

 

[aboverubies]

My girlfriend and I just went through the issue of modesty. This book, Dressing with Dignity, helped alot!!! You can see it here: valoramedia.com/dignity.html . It is a very solid, orthodox, traditional book reflecting a catholic perspective on women’s dressing. It is a modern phenomenon to see woman dressing so immodestly. Much of what we even consider modest today would never have been accepted or considered modest 50 years ago or so. Get with the times? No, get with the faith is really the issue. We need to please God, not man and not man’s times. Fashions may change, God does not.

Beyond modesty, too, the question of femininity comes up. What is the way women ought to dress to express their genuine femininity? Do pants and outfits that men wear do that? I say they don’t. Dresses and skirts are feminine. Men could never wear them without betraying their gender and, I’d say, dress ought to be gender-specific. Also, dresses and skirts tend not to show off the woman’s body to a man in the same way as pants, many of which are worn very tightly today. Women may not realize just how easily a man may get ideas in his head. Men are wired different and have a very strong physical reaction to a woman’s figure and body. As Colleen Hammond says in her book, everything sacred and precious is hidden, not revealed. Diamonds are found hidden in the earth, not growing on trees. The Blessed Sacrament is in a tabernacle, not sitting out for all to see. To cover one’s body is not to ignore it or to be ashamed of it, but rather to acknowledge the sacred dignity of the body.

It is difficult today for a woman. Many people are caught up in the modern view that women’s bodies are to be shown and their figure flaunted, which only plays into the sexually immoral atmosphere of our times. A woman who respects herself enough to cover her body, waiting for the one person who deserves to see it when the time is right (i.e. her husband), is rare but is very pleasing to Our Lord.

Anyway, there’s some thoughts. I know it may not be popular but I think women ought to dress in a feminine, modest way distinct from men. Dresses and skirts are optimal as they express femininity and conceal the figure/curves (if, that is, it is a modest, long enough, dress or skirt). Radical feminism, sadly, has destroyed true femininity and also attacks true masculinity in the process. We need, as Catholic men and women, to recapture genuine masculinity and femininity in the face of a culture that focuses on the body as a means to casual pleasure and sexual immorality.

Christ’s peace to you.

Interesting post struggling. While I agree with some of what you’ve said, it seems to me that men actually find a woman in a dress or skirt more eye catching…you know the whole hour-glass thing. Well that’s what my DH tells me anyway…and I do receive more compliments and kisses and cuddles from him when I put on a pretty dress (modest style). Rather than conceal or hide the female form I think a well cut stylish dress flatters the beauty of the female form without revealing every little detail…a polished diamond perhaps? A dress enters the realm of immodesty if it features any of the following: tightly cut, from a clingy material, with a low neck line and a high skirt. The definition of “flaunt”. Flatter and flaunt are opposite sides of the coin in my humble opinion.

 

[mesquite_magic]

I would, incidentally, argue that pants can tend men to impure thoughts. First because it reveals the behind of a woman much more, revealing the shape. Women aren’t turned on so much by a man’s behind but a man can get more thoughts, even subconsciously. Also, it directs the eyes there not to mention the way pants fit can lead the eyes to think of the lower part of a woman’s body in a way that a skirt never would because the cut doesn’t draw the eyes to the crouch, causing unwanted thoughts about that area or of the woman’s body as a whole.

Obviously they are not as feminine but I think, too, they are less modest than skirts and dresses.

My few cents in the jar.

Christ’s peace to you.

Going a little OT here, doesn’t that make men appear as to not be in control. Why are women being held accountable for what men think. Honestly, anything can “turn a person on”. Recently, some Muslim women I know were saying they wouldn’t post pictures of themselves in traditional Muslim dress because some men found that exciting. So basicly, what’s being said is that women are “controling” the men. It’s our fault that they have lecturous (sp?) thoughts?

I’m not slamming you Strugglingalong. Just trying to figure out that thinking.

Back on topic. What about swimsuits? I personally prefer a two piece with a longer top and boy shorts. My dd likes a two piece with long board shorts over it.

 

[CarrieH]

Back on topic. What about swimsuits? I personally prefer a two piece with a longer top and boy shorts. My dd likes a two piece with long board shorts over it.

Speedo makes a “conservative cut” suit for those of us who are swimmers for fitness and want to be more covered. It’s a bit lower-cut in the front than I might like, but except for the suits worn by some triathletes, this is about as good as it gets for “real” swimming. So many regular swimsuits drag in the water, and that’s uncomfortable and annoying when swimming laps. If I ever have to wear a swimsuit anywhere except the athletic club, I wear a cover-up over it which comes to mid-thigh.

I read “Dressing With Dignity,” but I had already started dressing that way. I grew up during the heyday of the feminist movement, and for years I lived in jeans and sweats, and buzzed off my hair in a super-short style (which was great for swimming, but I was sometimes mistaken for a lesbian!). As I have grown on my faith journey, I have come to embrace the woman who was squelched by the feminist movement, and now I am growing out my hair and I wear feminine clothes much of the time. When I shop, I ask myself if this same item could be worn by a man, and if the answer is “yes,” I don’t buy it unless it is something specifically for my outdoor activities – I still wear jeans and t-shirts or sweats for yard work, hiking, etc. As far as the modesty aspect goes, it started out as a comfort thing. I found that loose, flowing, and covered is far more comfortable than tight and skimpy. When I started dressing in a more conservative and modest way, I noticed a change in how people would treat me out in public…and I liked being treated respectfully, like a lady. Now I try to dress in a manner which would please Our Lady, but without looking frumpy as some of the prairie-looking outfits might. We do have a couple of families in our parish who dress that way, though.