You know what is sad, they are all like this. They use fear and intimidation to scare the kids to obey to them. When you confront them on it, they deny it…
I think that other parents need to speak up.
I don’t think parents speaking up will do much, if this is the tone and way of the whole school.
Perhaps if you put all of your energy and life into fighting this, in ten years there might be some change. Meanwhile, your growing daughter needs you so is this how you want to spend your time?
There is how you’d like things to be and how they actually are. Sometimes you just have to accept how things are. Actually, most times. And work with that. I guess I mean, I don’t think there is much to work with at this school.
I never wanted my son in public school, but I have been forced to accept circumstance. You would not gbeleive how hard I worked to avoid it! Finally I had admit that it obviously was God’s will. becaue he couold have done a miracle to prevent what I wanted so much to prevent, but he didn’t.
I have to say, I see more Catholicity in the possibly pagan teachers than in the Catholic ones in many instances (of
my limitedexperience - I know ther are good Catholkic teachers out there!). Because Catholicity is not the letter of the law (and one can at least say lack holy reverence - what a poor example of Catholocism!) but is the spirit of the law.
If you do
all these things (i.e., follow all the letter of the Catholic law) and
have not love, you have
nothing.
I see more love in the public school teachers I have worked with, many of whom have no religion for all I know.
I think that certain Catholic schools hang onto the “old way” of authoritarianism. In this, the teacher is always right. The child must obey and never quesiton the authority. Also the parent must never question the authority of the teacher.
This is not Christian. Its not what Jesus taught. Its not Catholic. Its like the Pharisees, whose position and power meant everything, whose lack of love was what prevented them from knowing the Lord.
Its an easier way to teach, but no way to get to heaven!
Jesus loved the little children, and the children loved him. This is his example.
I saw part of Oprah yesterday, although that show, most of the time, is a turnoff. But my son and I were interested in the dog training expert she had on, and she trained in a loving, relationship method. She showed a spiked choker training collar many folks use, and it was interesting to contrast that other method of dog training. The old way - punishment based. The new way - kind words and rewards. Happy dogs for the latter.
Which makes me think of schools, and parenting. The old way - traditional Cathlic schools sometimes being a bad example of this - very authoritarian, with negative training, scaring the children, and plenty of invalidation. New trends in education are kinder, and many Catholic schools see the importance of loving kindness in teaching. But some adhere to the old way as they remember it. And I think sadistic types get into this. Types who like to bully, and be in charge.
It seems there is a certain population of teachers (a minority) that gets into teaching so they can have people to boss - a place to be the authority whose voice everyone has to jump to. And loving children, helping them grow is not their passion. Just *their own identity *as The Boss.
Its not about the kids. Its about them.
And when a parent threatens their place as the final authority (instead of doing what they are *supposed *to do, *revere *them), they engage in an all-out war to defend their entitled place as the Revered One. In this war, they are beside themselves in panic, their whole mind on the goal of defending their place, and so they do things like lie and make up stories in a blind attempt to meet their goal - defend their all-important place of entitlement.
Best you can do with these types, whom you have no power to change, is to perhaps flatter, and manipulate back with the flattery they crave in such a way they will be looking for more of your approval, and will work for it. Its hard to be that way if manipulating is not in your nature. If you think honest discussion is the way to resolve things. But you’re being honest is just putting your cards on the table for them to steal.
But you can’t make others think like you if they live from a whole different paridigm, particularly if they like their paridigm and think its the right one and they think you’re a wimp! If they respect themselves above others, if your being a nobody makes them a somebody, if its a war of “either you win or I win, and I’ll make
sure its not you!” .
(continued in next post)
