Questions on Becoming a Permanent Deacon

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Good luck shawnbm - it sounds like you’ve been thinking about it lots.
 
Oh, and one thing I left out about the deacon at liturgy. The two deacons who commented here have a wealth of knowledge. I have spoken to some deacons and the amount of preaching at mass seems to be as stated, but it is under the discretion of the ordinary I do believe. Yes, the deacon reads the gospel, leads intercessory prayer and prepares the gifts often, but the homilies will likely be once a month at most from what I hear–meaning at Sunday masses or days of holy obligation. But, I hear deacons get called on to lead groups in prayer, communion services for parishes without priests for some reason and at non-mass funerals and baptisms, as well as weddings. So, it would appear a deacon must be properly trained to preach just as much as a priest, especially since it is at baptisms, weddings and funerals that lapsed Catholics, separated brethren and agnostics are more likely present than on Sundays or other holy days. That is a calling worth having, no?
 
triumphguy said:
Good luck shawnbm - it sounds like you’ve been thinking about it lots.
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thank you, and yes I have–lots. I am starting up a new two year CCD class for Confirmation. It is the most compelling thing I do–trying to turn young people on to Jesus and His Church. It is also incredibly challenging at times.
 
shawnbm said:
Oh, and one thing I left out about the deacon at liturgy. The two deacons who commented here have a wealth of knowledge. I have spoken to some deacons and the amount of preaching at mass seems to be as stated, but it is under the discretion of the ordinary I do believe. Yes, the deacon reads the gospel, leads intercessory prayer and prepares the gifts often, but the homilies will likely be once a month at most from what I hear–meaning at Sunday masses or days of holy obligation. But, I hear deacons get called on to lead groups in prayer, communion services for parishes without priests for some reason and at non-mass funerals and baptisms, as well as weddings. So, it would appear a deacon must be properly trained to preach just as much as a priest, especially since it is at baptisms, weddings and funerals that lapsed Catholics, separated brethren and agnostics are more likely present than on Sundays or other holy days. That is a calling worth having, no?
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Shawnbm,

It appears by your comments that you “get it”. Yes we do preach as the GIRM indicates, occasionally; but it is at these other times outside of the every weekend Sunday Liturgy where we encounter lapsed Catholics and non-Catholics with an opportunity to evangelize. I meet more couples in irregular marriages and cohabitation situations in baptismal prep seminars with an opportunity to talk with them in private to encourage them to “make things right”. I can testify that this invitation is working. My pastor has celebrated several convalidations as well as one myself recently with another scheduled in November as a direct result of a personal invitation such as this.

These have been some Grace moments for me as a deacon, much more rewarding than preaching a homily at Sunday Mass. Now don’t get me wrong, my pastor wants me to preach on schedule, once a month at all of the Masses and I enjoy it quite a bit; but that is not what I was called to be ordained for solely. This journey has been incredible for me and my wife and family. I would not change a thing, praise God for that!

I wish you and your family well, and God Bless!👍
 
It warms my heart to hear you say what you say, Dcn. Gary. 🙂

I pray the LORD continue to give you more of these “grace” moments during your years as deacon.
 
shawnbm said:
Oh, and one thing I left out about the deacon at liturgy. The two deacons who commented here have a wealth of knowledge. I have spoken to some deacons and the amount of preaching at mass seems to be as stated, but it is under the discretion of the ordinary I do believe. Yes, the deacon reads the gospel, leads intercessory prayer and prepares the gifts often, but the homilies will likely be once a month at most from what I hear–meaning at Sunday masses or days of holy obligation. But, I hear deacons get called on to lead groups in prayer, communion services for parishes without priests for some reason and at non-mass funerals and baptisms, as well as weddings. So, it would appear a deacon must be properly trained to preach just as much as a priest, especially since it is at baptisms, weddings and funerals that lapsed Catholics, separated brethren and agnostics are more likely present than on Sundays or other holy days. That is a calling worth having, no?
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My brother is a deacon in Montreal and he preaches almost every Sunday since the priest is old and frail. He also takes all the funerals, weddings and baptisms for the same reason. He says he enjoys preaching at these more too, since they are more personal and intimate.
 
jerome_ky said:
I am a relatively recent convert- in my 5th year. I love the Latin Mass, go to Eucharistic Adoration, and have a strong feeling about the meaning and significance of the liturgy. As a married man I am obviously not able to become a priest, but I’ve been considering the diaconate and would like to know from permanent deacons on here how they feel about it- the daily experience, your relationship to your priest and bishop, and the role of the deacon’s wife. From a practical standpoint, I’m wondering how a man becomes a deacon if he is not financially in a position to retire from the business world. I believe there is no salary for a deacon.
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you ask some excellent questions. Since you also live in Kentucky as I do, I’m wondering what diocese you live in. The answers to your questions would take much more time than what is allowed here and I suggest that you speak to the diaconal formation office in your diocese for more information. However, I will give you some food for thought.

As many have stated the primary function of the Deacon is to live a life of service. We serve at the altar, we serve the word of God, and we serve the world in various ministries of charity. The most important word in our marriage after God and love is balance. deacons frequently have to balance the needs of their jobs and their family as well as ministry. For most deacons, their diaconal ministry is a part-time job. That doesn’t mean that they are glorified altar boys. An important part of their ministry is to serve in one or more ministries of charity. I was ordained in the diocese of Birmingham and we had a requirement that all men discern a ministry of charity prior to ordination and that they work at least 10 hours per week in that ministry.

however, a growing number are working full-time in the Church. They are paid for the jobs they do rather than as deacons. Wives have to support their husbands in their ministry but frequently have ministries of their own, especially if the most important one is raising children. however, having ministries of their own is not a requirement for ordination.

we belong to the Bishop, not the pastor of the parish. We are assigned to a parish and we give complete obedience to the pastor of that parish that we are assigned to. Usually, a Deacon sits down with the pastor either before assignment or just after assignment and works out the things that the pastor would like the Deacon to do in that parish and are compatible with his available time. His relationship with his very busy Bishop tends to be through whatever office manages diaconal service in the diocese. However, deacons are frequently called on to assist the Bishop in pontifical liturgies (particularly Confirmation Masses) when he is traveling. Each of us in the diocese of Covington probably assists the Bishop four or five times per year and he knows each of us and our families very well.

you asked about our feelings concerning the diaconate. It is truly a grace filled life. every time we help someone or minister to someone, God rewards us with such feelings of joy and grace that the rewards far outweigh the effort we put into it. However, you should be ready for very hard work in the sense that it is difficult to balance the demands of job, family, and ministry, none of which are allowed to suffer.

please feel free to call me at 859-630-9875 if I can be of any help to you in your discernment process. thanks, Deacon Paul
 
Becoming a permanent deacon is something that would interest me too; I even went to the group formation meeting with the local bishop.

When the formation of the permanent diaconate was first announced in our archdiocese, my first reaction was enthusiastic. I thought, “Alright! A chance to get more involved!”

However, after that first burst of enthusiasm (my heart talking), my brain kicked in and started giving reasons not to move ahead. And after the formation meeting (interested men brought their wives and met with the bishop), I was even more sure it is not for me.

What appealed to me:
I would like to be more spiritual.
I would like to play a more active role in the Mass, as well as the other roles of the deacon.
I enjoy learning about my faith, so reading, studying, and doing homework would be stimulating and challenging.

However, some of the other work involved turned me off. For example, going downtown and helping out the poor people, working in a soup kitchen, talking to bums, etc. I just can’t get into that, and I can’t fake it. (Not a very Christian attitude, I know, but I have to be honest; I can’t stand dealing with retards, riff-raff, welfare bums, single mothers, etc. I am not a people person.)

I am fine with the spiritual and academic side of being a deacon.
I am terrible with the interpersonal aspects of the training and the job.

I guess it is not for me.
 
I am in formation in England for the Archdiocese of Birmingham.In considering whether you have a vocation to the diaconate you have to consider if you have a diaconal heart.

Is your motivation to be Christ the Servant King with a heart that seeks the salvation of all souls and yearns to bring people to a closer relationship with God?

Or is it to be greeted obsequiously in the market place? If on reflection the motivation is based on the idea of being an Ordained Minister of the Church, wearing clerics and being elevated above the laity, then you must question whether you are being called to the diakonia of Christ

Don’t be too concerned about what a deacon does; consider what a deacon is

I work long hours, I have a family, I have parish commitments and I have hobbies, but my formation has been life changing. If you are prepared to make sacrifices for everybody in the particular setting of your life that you engage with them and still be invigorated by the Holy Spirit then you may have a diaconal heart.

I suggest making contact with your diocese’s director for the permanent diaconate. He will help you discern your vocation.

Please pray for me as I assure my prayers for you.
 
David2010 said:
Becoming a permanent deacon is something that would interest me too; I even went to the group formation meeting with the local bishop.

When the formation of the permanent diaconate was first announced in our archdiocese, my first reaction was enthusiastic. I thought, “Alright! A chance to get more involved!”

However, after that first burst of enthusiasm (my heart talking), my brain kicked in and started giving reasons not to move ahead. And after the formation meeting (interested men brought their wives and met with the bishop), I was even more sure it is not for me.

What appealed to me:
I would like to be more spiritual.
I would like to play a more active role in the Mass, as well as the other roles of the deacon.
I enjoy learning about my faith, so reading, studying, and doing homework would be stimulating and challenging.

However, some of the other work involved turned me off. For example, going downtown and helping out the poor people, working in a soup kitchen, talking to bums, etc. I just can’t get into that, and I can’t fake it. (Not a very Christian attitude, I know, but I have to be honest; I can’t stand dealing with retards, riff-raff, welfare bums, single mothers, etc. I am not a people person.)

I am fine with the spiritual and academic side of being a deacon.
I am terrible with the interpersonal aspects of the training and the job.

I guess it is not for me.
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Christ may not be calling you right now but He may call you to that ministry later. There is obviously a spark there and there are many ways to serve Christ and his Church. You may be in a phase of your walk with Jesus where praise and worship hold a preeminent place in your heart. Try to keep an open heart and He will certainly show you the way.

With regard to working with the poor, going downtown and dealing with “bums, retards, riff-raff, welfare bums, single mothers, etc.”, I have to say that many of us share your sentiment in varying degrees at the beginning of our formation or when we first consider becoming a deacon. it keeps many good men from becoming deacons. But the more we see Jesus in each of these people, the more our attitudes change toward that of Mother Teresa and we see great opportunity to be of real value to these marginalized children of God. If our model is Jesus the servant, this is definitely where the rubber meets the road. Peace and Blessings, Deacon Paul
 
Thanks to everyone on here who has shone a light on this subject, and in particular Deacon Paul for taking the time to talk with me. I do have another related question- it seems that deacons wear the “Roman collar” and I’m wondering how you respond to people who call you “Father” or otherwise mistake you for a priest.
 
I wear a Deacon Cross (cross with a deacon stole) on my clerics to try to distinguish myself from a priest. It seldom works because people often don’t recognize the Deacon stole on the cross. I either explain that I am a Deacon or just let it pass depending upon the circumstance. If there is an opportunity for a brief conversation, I treat it as a teachable moment and explain that, as clergy, I wear the same clerics as a priest as directed by my Bishop. However, I am only the lowest of holy orders, an ordained deacon. if it’s just a passing “good morning Father”, I usually let it go and just respond appropriately. However, I never try to pass myself off as a priest, which is forbidden and I always avoid making them feel embarrassed that they missed the distinction.

It might be interesting to note that, when celebrating a baptism or a wedding, I always introduce myself to the guests and explain that I am a deacon rather than a priest but many still call me Father. Peace and Blessings, Deacon Paul
 
jerome_ky said:
Thanks to everyone on here who has shone a light on this subject, and in particular Deacon Paul for taking the time to talk with me. I do have another related question- it seems that deacons wear the “Roman collar” and I’m wondering how you respond to people who call you “Father” or otherwise mistake you for a priest.
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I can sympathies with Deacon Paul on the “father” title we have applied to us; it happens no matter how you dress. As an acolyte in a plain white alb I was called father, add a stole and its father, add a dalmatic and still it is father. I’ve gone as far as to say before a communion service starts that I am not a priest and this is not a Mass and still after the service I get, “nice Mass Father.” 😦

Often I too do not make mention, if it is in a simple quick greeting because I’ve seen the faces of embarrassment when I try to correct them, especially in front of others; so I don’t do it in those situation anymore.

We are not allowed to wear clericals, Roman collar. Our bishop does not allow this in my diocese, so outside of Mass I dress just like the laity. I do have a couple of shirts with the diaconate cross on the left breast.
 
Thank you, Dcns. Gary and Paul, for your insightful replies. I think it is wonderful that Deacon Paul noted that when he has time, he uses it to TEACH inquiring folks about the diaconate. The more we can catechize and properly instruct the faithful on what the Church does and how she does it and through whom, the better.🙂
 
triumphguy said:
Actually the toughest thing was passing all the psych testing - 80% of applicants failed.
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can someone speak to this point please? i am looking to become a permanent single deacon and have mental illness. Both dioceses that i am interested say that treated mental illness will not be deterrent if i can demonstrate stability over a period of time, which i am doing. however, i was hoping to get a little more insight into the extent of the testing and why 80% fail.

Thank you.
 
I’m certainly not an expert at psychological testing for men entering the diaconal formation program but I’ll share what I can. For all people entering the clergy or consecrated life, the Church makes an attempt to determine why the person is making this decision. whether or not there is a clear call from God to enter that state of life, and whether or not they have a temperament (for lack of a better word) suited to the ministry. Deacon life requires a man to be able to balance extreme demands on time: family, work, and ministry. Since there is a heavy emphasis on our ministry of charity, the interview and testing process tries to determine what kind of ministries of charity the candidate is already been involved in and what appeals to them in those ministries. It tries to weed out men who are interested in becoming deacons because they think it is cool to be on the altar at Sunday Mass and read the Gospel. (you’d be surprised how many men fail for that very reason). I think there is also something to the old adage about ordaining us into the ministries that we are already doing as laymen. In other words, I think a man could “fail” the screening process if he were thinking about getting into ministry but had never done any before and thought that the diaconate was a good place to start. In the end, it’s all about the call. None of us chooses to be a Deacon; each one of us has felt a strong call from God to expand our service to the Church and the children of God for His glory rather than our own and the psychological testing attempts to help us determine that clearly. The Church has had many years to refine that testing process but certainly, it is not foolproof. Only God knows how many good men have been turned down when they tried to enter the program but it is the best that we imperfect humans can do at the moment. Peace and Blessings, Deacon Paul
 
I had some interest in the diaconate awhile back, but I passed on the introductory meeting in my diocese when I was told that single deacons must remain single and that the rationale behind that was that the married deacon’s wife is considered part of his ministry and attends some of the training with him, but there was no such process for integrating the new wife of someone already ordained as a deacon.

As a man of a certain age, it’s possible I may never marry again (my first was annulled several years ago), but I do not want to close off that possibility. My question: was this accurately represented to me? Are there other aspects of this that are relevant? In the meantime, I’ve chosen to serve in other ways.

Which brings up another question about the roles of lay people as Eucharistic Ministers who assist the priest in distributing the blessed bread and wine at Mass in many parishes? Where exactly do these fit in? Also some parishes designate a few such lay Ministers to bring communion to the sick and invalid who can’t come to Mass. Same terminology?
 
The issue is that Holy Orders, which a deacon receives, is a canonical impediment to contracting a valid marriage in the Church – not that there isn’t a process to “integrate the new wife of someone already ordained as a deacon.” Similarly, while a spouse’s consent and support is vital to married deacon’s ministry, she is not formally part of his ministry, although usually the option is there for her to attend classes. (Apparently in some places, this is mandatory.) Deacons whom I know run the gamut to wives who assist with some church-based ministries, such as religious education, to wives who may attend a church dinner occasionally, but that’s it. The diaconate isn’t a “two-fer.”
 
The effect of Canon Law is that a married man may be ordained but an ordained man may not marry. This is ancient and is the basis of the Orthodox Church too. There are circumstances where a Deacon may marry once ordained, but as Blessed John Paul said when permitting it, it is for the benefit of children not necessarily the deacon. Sorry ladies, but the reason for allowing it was if the deacon had children that might suffer without a mother and a father with employment and vocation. Nevertheless it is not frequently used.

Wives are important. In England if a man to be ordained is married his bishop requires the wife to write to confirm that they agree to ordination. This is because the Church recognises the importance of marriage of a Sacrament and the vows taken before God and would not want to undertake any course of act that goes contrary to the fulfilment of those vows.

The deacon becomes an ordained man, which is a Sacrament of the Church whereas a Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion remains a layperson, albeit with a recognised office in the Church. It becomes important that any priest conferring office on such people should ensure that there is no circumstances that would bring the Minister into conflict with the Church’s teachings.

Whilst these sorts of issues are of importance, they are nevertheless much less important in the discernment of a vocation than the Will of God. Can I suggest that you pray that God may give some sort of inkling as to whether the diaconate is how he wants you to live the rest of your life. It doesn’t need an immediate answer (unless of course you are towards the upper age limit) so discern with God. If you are being called, then the call to serve the People of God should be stronger than the personal interests of potential marriage. A deacon needs to have the diakonia of Christ to be persona Christi as the servant.
 
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