A
angelaliverpool
Guest
Im Sorry is that a question or a answer? Thank you for your time. X
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
R.C women marrying a CofE man and wants a full Nuptial mass?
- Status
- Not open for further replies.
A
angelaliverpool
Guest
Hey corki. Thank you for your time. My words seem to keep being taken out of context. Wether a am able to have enough information gathered for the happy couple or not. These are two young people who want to share there lives together. They are both baptised christians in a mixed denominational family. The you last on question would like to have mass and receive Holy Communion and have a mass. Her partner is happy and content With her wishes. I think the best thing 4 her to do, is ask him for his reason and then if she is still unhappy, she should write to the bishop and ask his advice. Xxxx but thank you for your help xxxI suggest you reverse your approach. Rather than trying to convince him based on the law or rules, why don’t you ask what **his reasons **are for wanting the Rite outside of Mass rather than the Nuptial Mass? If you know his reasons, you can possibly convince him that he is mistaken.
If you try to go the “legal” route, you don’t really have grounds since, at the end of the day, it’s entirely up to the pastor which type of wedding ceremony he performs.
A
angelaliverpool
Guest
From a prior post, posted by Cameron_Lansing, a deacon and canon lawyer who used to post here:
On the basis of canon 2* we must consult the introduction to the Rite of Marriage, n. 8 as the appropriate liturgical law. It indicates that the regulations for the rite of marriage outside Mass are to observed in the marriage of a Catholic to another baptized person.
However, the Rite continues by saying that, if suitable, the local ordinary may give permission for the marriage of a Catholic and another baptized person to be celebrated within Mass, and that, according to general law, communion is not given to the non Catholic.
The Rite of Marraige, n. 8 states:
Based on the above, the Rite instructs that in a mixed marriage, the Rite must be outside the Mass unless the priest obtains permission from the bishop to have a Nuptial Mass.
- In a marriage between a Catholic and a baptized person who is not Catholic, the regulations which appear below in the rite of marriage outside Mass (nos. 39-54) shall be observed. If suitable, and if the Ordinary of the place gives permission, the rite for celebrating marriage within Mass (nos. 19-38) may be used, except that, according to the general law, communion is not given to the non-Catholic.[/iU] In a marriage between a Catholic and one who is not baptized, the rite which appears in nos. 55-66 is to be followed.
O
We cannot make a comparison. Perhaps the bishop at the time her mother married gave such permission and the current bishop does not. It is not an entitlement.
If both parties are baptized, the marriage is valid and a sacrament.
It sounds like the mother is the one with the issue, not the two who plan to be married. My advice-- Mother needs to butt out.
1ke thank you for your comment. Some r very helpful. However. After reading your ending on the mother butting out. I thought that was a bit rude and impertinent! As i believe you do not really no this family or much about how deeply they feel about this.
I can understand your points. However, i do feel strongly that it should be the couples chance to recieve holy communion and have a high nuptial mass. Its not about, copying parents, tradition, the right or wrongs or even the positives or negatives of this proposed ceremony. It should be about the perspective happy young couple. If they would like a mass before there blessing. What a beautiful blessing that is
In its self. After all we have less and less Young people believing in the mass. Shouldnt we as a church community be encouraging people to come mass? Rather than saying just a simple no. X Yes you are again right, it is up to the celebrant. But what confuses me is that why do some priest choice to do what this Young couple asked for and others dont? X thank you once again. Xx
C
Corki
Guest
I am confused as to your role in all of this. Are you the bride-to-be or just an interested party? If this is your wedding, you should ask the priest why he does not want to do the Mass. It could be for a purely practical reason such as the priest already having a Mass scheduled that day. No one, not even when it’s two Catholics getting married, has a “right” to a Mass. Many weddings are witnessed by deacons so a Mass isn’t even a possibility.But what confuses me is that why do some priest choice to do what this Young couple asked for and others dont? X thank you once again. Xx
If Communion and a Mass is so important to the couple, they can always go to Mass before or after thier wedding ceremony.
1
1ke
Guest
I am not sure how you could have misunderstood my post. It is NOT up to the celebrant. The Rite itself stipulates that in a mixed marriage there is to be no mass. The Bishop can give permission, not the priest.Yes you are again right, it is up to the celebrant. But what confuses me is that why do some priest choice to do what this Young couple asked for and others dont? X thank you once again. Xx
No one has a “right” to a Mass, not you, not me, not them.
T
TheRealJuliane
Guest
We have NO IDEA why this couple is being refused a Mass in the Church.
Perhaps the man has been married before. Perhaps there are other impediments.
There is a good reason, or the priest would not refuse.
The OP has stated her belief that our Church SHOULD give a blessing or do the Mass, no matter what, just because this couple wants to be married. That is not how things work in the Church, thank God!
Perhaps the man has been married before. Perhaps there are other impediments.
There is a good reason, or the priest would not refuse.
The OP has stated her belief that our Church SHOULD give a blessing or do the Mass, no matter what, just because this couple wants to be married. That is not how things work in the Church, thank God!
P
Phemie
Guest
They are not being denied marriage, they are being told they can’t have a Nuptial Mass because it’s a mixed marriage. Even when the non-Catholic is baptized, the priest can’t celebrate a mixed-marriage within Mass without the Bishop’s approval. He may well not want to request it since he doesn’t want to celebrate mixed-marriage within Mass for his own good reasons.We have NO IDEA why this couple is being refused a Mass in the Church.
Perhaps the man has been married before. Perhaps there are other impediments.
There is a good reason, or the priest would not refuse.
The OP has stated her belief that our Church SHOULD give a blessing or do the Mass, no matter what, just because this couple wants to be married. That is not how things work in the Church, thank God!
1
1ke
Guest
Or the bishop may have already given direction to the priests of his diocese that he will not grant permission. We really don’t know.He may well not want to request it
But what we do know is that the couple needs to talk to the priest and needs to abide by guidance on the matter.
A
angelaliverpool
Guest
Thank you 4 you 4 your response. We dont know why this parish priest is saying they can not have a mass unfortunatly! They are a young couple, who met when they Where very young and are wanting to now get married after 10 years together. Now they want to make a commitment to one another for life. I know that they are not entitled to a mass, but they would have liked that to happen. Other people have had there request offered but in other catholic churches. So we can’t see the problem.We have NO IDEA why this couple is being refused a Mass in the Church.
Perhaps the man has been married before. Perhaps there are other impediments.
There is a good reason, or the priest would not refuse.
The OP has stated her belief that our Church SHOULD give a blessing or do the Mass, no matter what, just because this couple wants to be married. That is not how things work in the Church, thank God!
T
TheRealJuliane
Guest
Well, just because others have had a request granted, does not mean that you know their situation. And even if it was done, it was not done correctly. Your friends should be grateful that their sacrament will be done correctly when it is done. They are doing the right thing, and doing that should not depend upon the exact format that the Church asks of them.Thank you 4 you 4 your response. We dont know why this parish priest is saying they can not have a mass unfortunatly! They are a young couple, who met when they Where very young and are wanting to now get married after 10 years together. Now they want to make a commitment to one another for life. I know that they are not entitled to a mass, but they would have liked that to happen. Other people have had there request offered but in other catholic churches. So we can’t see the problem.
They should follow the instructions of their priest. If they really want the sacrament, then they need to follow the conditions to receive it.
This is what happens when Catholics marry non-Catholics. It is not the Church’s fault when Catholics ignore the tenets of our faith. They still must follow the rules.
If they fulfill other requirements, they can have a marriage rite in the Church. They are not forbidden.
P
PatriceA
Guest
I’m still confused about this question as well.I am confused as to your role in all of this. Are you the bride-to-be or just an interested party? If this is your wedding, you should ask the priest why he does not want to do the Mass. It could be for a purely practical reason such as the priest already having a Mass scheduled that day. No one, not even when it’s two Catholics getting married, has a “right” to a Mass. Many weddings are witnessed by deacons so a Mass isn’t even a possibility.
If Communion and a Mass is so important to the couple, they can always go to Mass before or after thier wedding ceremony.
If the OP is a friend, she might not be pivy to the reasons behind the priest’s decision. It may not be any of her business to know why the priest has made the decision that he has.
A
angelaliverpool
Guest
Thank you 4 you 4 your response. We dont know why this parish priest is saying they can not have a mass unfortunatly! They are a young couple, who met when they Where very young and are wanting to now get married after 10 years together. Now they want to make a commitment to one another for life. I know that they are not entitled to a mass, but they would have liked that to happen. Other people have had there request offered but in other catholic churches. So we can’t see the problem.We have NO IDEA why this couple is being refused a Mass in the Church.
Perhaps the man has been married before. Perhaps there are other impediments.
There is a good reason, or the priest would not refuse.
The OP has stated her belief that our Church SHOULD give a blessing or do the Mass, no matter what, just because this couple wants to be married. That is not how things work in the Church, thank God!
T
TheRealJuliane
Guest
You repeated your earlier response so I will repeat mine. They should follow the instructions of the priest.Well, just because others have had a request granted, does not mean that you know their situation. And even if it was done, it was not done correctly. Your friends should be grateful that their sacrament will be done correctly when it is done. They are doing the right thing, and doing that should not depend upon the exact format that the Church asks of them.
They should follow the instructions of their priest. If they really want the sacrament, then they need to follow the conditions to receive it.
This is what happens when Catholics marry non-Catholics. It is not the Church’s fault when Catholics ignore the tenets of our faith. They still must follow the rules.
If they fulfill other requirements, they can have a marriage rite in the Church. They are not forbidden.
A
agnes_therese
Guest
If the couple doesn’t know the reason, they need to ask the priest to explain. That is the ONLY way for them to find out.We dont know why this parish priest is saying they can not have a mass unfortunatly!
C
Cristiano
Guest
The problem is that they are not entitled. It is not up to the priest to explain more, at best is up to them to give a reason to the priest to justify the departure from the norm. Just because they want it is not good enough, if they can explain in terms of religious understanding then it is a different story.Thank you 4 you 4 your response. We dont know why this parish priest is saying they can not have a mass unfortunatly! They are a young couple, who met when they Where very young and are wanting to now get married after 10 years together. Now they want to make a commitment to one another for life. I know that they are not entitled to a mass, but they would have liked that to happen. Other people have had there request offered but in other catholic churches. So we can’t see the problem.
A
Angel_Bradford
Guest
Please understand this is only my opinion. I know a lot of “former” Catholics who have left the Church over misunderstandings which may have been avoided by something as simple as an explanation as to why things happen or a done a particular way.The problem is that they are not entitled. It is not up to the priest to explain more, at best is up to them to give a reason to the priest to justify the departure from the norm. Just because they want it is not good enough, if they can explain in terms of religious understanding then it is a different story.
P
PatriceA
Guest
I know a lot of “former” Catholics that left the Church over “misunderstandings” as well, and thought the Church should bend to accomodate their wishes and desires rather than the “former” Catholic wanting to accept what the Church mandates and teaches.Please understand this is only my opinion. I know a lot of “former” Catholics who have left the Church over misunderstandings which may have been avoided by something as simple as an explanation as to why things happen or a done a particular way.
A
Angel_Bradford
Guest
I don’t expect nor am I implying that the Church should bend the rules, however, there is nothing wrong with explaining why something is being done.I know a lot of “former” Catholics that left the Church over “misunderstandings” as well, and thought the Church should bend to accomodate their wishes and desires rather than the “former” Catholic wanting to accept what the Church mandates and teaches.
P
PatriceA
Guest
I get the sense though from reading the further comments by the OP, the priest’s decision has been explained to the couple but the OP wants to challenge that decision instead of accepting it.I don’t expect nor am I implying that the Church should bend the rules, however, there is nothing wrong with explaining why something is being done.
A
Angel_Bradford
Guest
I hope that’s true, but all I gleaned from OP was that they were told they could not have a nuptial Mass, not why.I get the sense though from reading the further comments by the OP, the priest’s decision has been explained to the couple but the OP wants to challenge that decision instead of accepting it.
- Status
- Not open for further replies.