Racism, ethnocentrism in my family

[Epistemes]

Hello,

With the election of president Obama, the amount of racist and ethnocentric gossiping and backlashing has increased increased in my family. My family – especially my stepdad, my grandmother, and my aunt and uncle – has always spoke condescendingly of Mexicans and African-Americans, but it’s gotten worse. Now, I’ll admit that over the course of the past year alone I haven’t been the best myself, sometimes feeding jokes into the mix, but I don’t think that I’ve said anything to demean a minority’s humanity. If I have, then I apologize.

Regardless, I’m now and have been at the point where I’m utterly sick of all this negative talk about blacks and Mexicans, but I have no idea what to do or what to say in order to make it stop. All I know to do at this point is just pray for them and pray that it ceases. It’s just that I wish I could say something which would point out how wrong they are, how unloving and unChristian they’re being, but, at the same time, I’m hardly prepared for any sort of discussion regarding illegal immigration or welfare or the other socio-economic issues brought up when discussing minorities. The moment I get up the nerve to say, “They’re people too!” then everyone would say, “Yeah, we’re not saying they’re not, but…” and then go on moments later saying stuff like, “I can’t believe that we have to pay money out of our pockets to keep these people warm this winter…” like other human beings don’t deserve warmth and freedom from the elements.

I’m at an absolute loss.

I’m going to confession regarding this today – mostly going for the anger and the unlovingness which I harbor towards them as a result of this type of talk, but also because I lack the mercy to say anything, if anything could be said at all.

Please pray for my family…and me.

 

[AveSantaMaria]

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

I will try to remember you in a Divine Mercy chaplet today! Have you ever thought about praying with your family when they make these remarks? If they care Catholic, maybe they know about the teaching: “Pray for your enemies. Bless those who persecute you.” “God, we feel disadvantaged because of minorities, let us pray to bless them.”

Also, have you thought about educating yourself on racism, welfare, illegal immigration and doing service with minorities? St. Catherine of Sienna spent so much time with lepers, she caught leprosry, but then she was healed! St. Francis of Assisi and St. Martin de Porres (by the way- St. Martin de Porres, St. Monica, St. Josephine Bakhita, and St. Augustine are all black or biracial) also spent a lot of time with lepers. Jesus spent time with prostitutes and the Samaritan women.

Please also pray with me. I would love to get involved with a jail ministry and also give people in jails copies of True Devotion to Mary, The Secret of the Rosary, Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and the New Testament to read but I do not know the first steps of going ahead and doing this! I also do not know how to get involved with the homelessness ministry.

Finally, CONGRATULATIONS ON CARING!!! GOD MUST BE WORKING IN YOU TO GIVE YOU A FOR THE POOR AND DISADVANTAGED, OPENING YOUR EYES, GROWING YOU IN HIS LOVE!! WAY TO GO!!! PLEASE PRAY FOR ME TOO!!!

Free information on almost all I know on devoting oneself to the Sacred Heart of Jesus through the Immaculate Heart of Mary:
Pereptual online Adoration of the Sacred Heart of Jesus louisville-catholic.net/WebCameras/AdorationChapel/tabid/825/Default.aspx
True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin montfort.org.uk/Writings/TrueDev.html
**Secret of the Rosary ** montfort.org.uk/Writings/Rosary.html
Preparation for 33 day consecration to the Blessed Virgin saintlouisdemontfort.com/consecration.cfm
Reflections on True Devotion to Mary by His Holiness Pope John Paul II http://www.michaeljournal.org/montfort.htm
**The Glories of Mary, ** by St. Alphonsus de Liguori, one of the 33 Doctors of the Catholic Church, explains Hail Holy Queen http://www.catholictradition.org/Mary/glories.htm
Marialis Cultus (Apostolic Exhortation for the Right Ordering and Development of Devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary of His Holiness, February 2, 1974 by His Holiness Pope Paul VI ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/P6MARIAL.HTM
Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus en.wikisource.org/wiki/Devotion_to_the_Sacred_Heart_of_Jesus#FIRST_POINT._.E2.80.94_The_ardent_desire_Jesus_Christ_feels_to_be_with_us.
Divine Mercy Chaplet ewtn.com/Devotionals/mercy/dmmap.htm
Cathechism of the Catholic Church vatican.va/archive/catechism/ccc_toc.htm

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

 

[Island_Oak]

Perhaps your best strategy is silence. Very few people are confused when a tasteless joke is met with stony silence and a change of subject. It doesn’t escalate the issue into a conflict or debate, but conveys very clearly that you aren’t going there. If they want to make fun of you behind your back…let 'em. But maybe it will foster some thought and even respect for your standards. No matter what, avoid lecturing at all costs.

 

[SeekerJen]

Perhaps your best strategy is silence. Very few people are confused when a tasteless joke is met with stony silence and a change of subject. It doesn’t escalate the issue into a conflict or debate, but conveys very clearly that you aren’t going there. If they want to make fun of you behind your back…let 'em. But maybe it will foster some thought and even respect for your standards. No matter what, avoid lecturing at all costs.

That, or saying innocently, “I don’t get it. Why is that funny?” I remember right after 9-11 using that one when my ex’s sister made a tasteless joke about people of Mid-Eastern origin. She repeated herself, trying to explain it, and I just kept shaking my head with a wide-eyed look on my face (I’d heard the insult before, but I wasn’t going to accept it). She ended up looking like the fool in front of her entire family.

Ugh. I cannot tolerate racism. I enjoy making people who spout off such things squirm in their seats.

 

[gmarie21]

Or, to somewhat make light of a serious matter, you can do what my cousin and I did, become pregnant with a child of a minority. My family no longer says anything negative about hispanics because their granddaughter, niece, cousin, etc. is half Mexican. My cousin’s dd is the same. Granted, I come from a family that prefers all the offspring marry only Irish or Catholic, so my Polish in-laws have had their fair share of stereotyping.

 

[SeekerJen]

Or, to somewhat make light of a serious matter, you can do what my cousin and I did, become pregnant with a child of a minority. My family no longer says anything negative about hispanics because their granddaughter, niece, cousin, etc. is half Mexican. My cousin’s dd is the same. Granted, I come from a family that prefers all the offspring marry only Irish or Catholic, so my Polish in-laws have had their fair share of stereotyping.

That only works until the white side of the family gets so used to the minority side that they forget that the other side is a minority. My white mother’s family occasionally makes jokes and bigoted comments in front of my father (first gen Mexican-American, both parents from Mexico) and me (half-Mexican). Or if the white parent values lighter skin and makes a big deal out of it, as in the case of my dad’s brother’s kids. The older one is very fair and takes after his white mother, while the younger one is even darker than her Mexican father. We’ve all heard for years the comments on how dark the daughter is, ad nauseum.