Raging sex drive...help!

[YipYupYep]

Is the original poster of this thread still here? If so, please do signify by posting.

What do you think about all of this?

 

[TLM08]

I understand what you’re going through. I’m also a 19 year old girl who had been a slave to impurity, and still struggles with it on a daily basis. Before I was catholic, I had no idea that my impure thoughts and that being impure with myself was wrong. So after my conversion, I had some serious problems learning to stop. Every day is a battle. The awful truth about sexual impurity is that it isn’t something that just goes away. The Deceiver will use everything possible to get you to sin again. Pray daily, and fast if possible.
Reflect on Christ Crucified, and continue to pray the rosary.

To avoid being impure with yourself, make sure you always surround yourself with people and keep busy. Do whatever it takes not to be alone for periods of several hours. Part of the struggle is realizing that being sexually excited is part of our bodies, and is natural. However, we have the choice to act on that or not. We don’t have to serve the Evil One. God gave us a choice— Let us choose him.

I will be praying for you to have the courage and strength and grace to reject Satan’s temptations.

God Bless you my friend… That’s great advice!
I suspect that young women struggle with this nearly as much as young men. It’s important to remember that these “solitary acts of impurity” are sort of like a camprife that has a big flare up.
The best way to aviod these flare ups is to deprive the fire of it’s fuel source.

Purify your mind by choosing wholesome entertainment… G-Rated movies and lots of good catholic reading. The key is to purify the mind and allow these inappropriate flames of desire to simmer down. Regular confession and increased prayer seems to be very effective as well.

Unfortunately, many people go right back to “throwing logs on the fire” when they know they are going to fall. For men, pornography tends to be the fuel. If you treat the “fuel” like a separate sin from the “impure act” and cut off that fuel source, the desire to engage in that “solitary act of impurity” will decrease in frequency… a lot.
With the ultimate goal being chastity and obedience to God’s will.

God Bless!

 

[benedictus2]

To not sin is right. Of course.

So also, that people DO sin is a fact, and it is the reason for compassion AND for the sacrament of reconciliation.

The issue is not as cut and dried as might be desired. Would that we could all simply “say no” in our lives: then of course there would be no need for confession: only for baptism.

Moreover, with the amount of emotional abuse, neglect, abandonment, dysfunction, etc. from which so many young people grow up and by which they are nurtured, people are damaged psychically in amounts and depth light years beyond the imagination of people who have been spared such and whose emotional nourishment was generous. (I often speak about the studies done in neo-natal clinics where comparisons were made between American units which had the latest technological advances and finest medical equipment money could buy vs.the clinics in Mexico which had next to nothing except nannies to hold the babies. Needless to say, the death rate in the American units was SIGNIFICANTLY HIGHER, and the conclusion was that the touching, the warm skin, the TLC, the human nurturance of those loving nannies was far more health-giving * than sanitary, medically perfect clinical care that did NOT have human love and compassion.) Anyone unsympathetic to the struggle of those who ARE so damaged (especially as concerns the sexual identification of a person and its extremely deep root connection to the moral core of his being) may be putting himself into a box where HIS final judgment will perhaps also be severe and unsympathetic.

It has been perhaps THE MOST IMPORTANT THEME of Catholicism that Jesus Christ came TO FORGIVE SINNERS. “I came to save sinners, not the just.” Jesus’ story of the prodigal son could not be more emphatic, focusing on the fact that “the father RAN OUT TO MEET HIS SON and followed up with a banquet.” Maybe you’ve heard the one about leaving the 99 sheep in search of the one. Or the theme of his public life in which he 1) chose some pretty ordinary, including a few rather rough, men upon whom to build his Church, 2) that he “ate with sinners,” 3) that he said something about forgiveness “seven times seventy seven times,” 4) that he scolded his Apostles for wanting to bring down punishment on someone, 5) that he obviously preferred the company of the “rednecks” of his day over that of the judgmental pharisees and scribes - the litterati…

LOVE, while certainly not intended to enable, IS NOT DESCRIBABLE IN JURIDICAL DICTA: IT SPEAKS IN A DIFFERENT MANNER TO US - HUMANS WITH HEARTS, WITH BROKEN LIVES, WITH PAIN, WITH GUILT, AND WITH TEARS. “Come to me all you that travail and are burdened, and I will refresh you.” Son, YOUR SINS ARE FORGIVEN.

And the comment about not extinguishing the smoldering wick is perhaps one of the most applicable to this thread: the girl IS ASKING FOR HELP.

Forgiveness itself IS THE VERY SOURCE OF THE RECIPROCAL LOVE God wants us to experience, where we find His Heart.*

This is really all so true, But I do understand those who are shall we say “more strict” in their advice.

I was on a retreat once and the retreat director said “I am not saying abortion is bad and I am not saying abortion is not bad”. And everyone was in agreeement with her (and it was supposed to be a Catholic retreat house). The passage they always use to justify their stand is that Jesus did not condemn the adulterous woman. They conveniently cut out the part when he said 'go and sin no more".

We must not equivocate on moral issues. But we do need to deliver our message with love and kindness.

However, loving them in their brokenness must never mean condoning sin because true repentance for our sins only come when we recognize them for what they are: sins.

It is after all the publican who recognized his sinfulness who came away at rights with God. Had he maintained that what he was doing was okay, then he would have been worse than the pharisee.

 

[George14]

Bene2: you say “However, loving them in their brokenness must never mean condoning sin because true repentance for our sins only come when we recognize them for what they are: sins.”

Exactly. And in this case, the thread was started by a young lady specifically stating that she knew she was sinning, and she was asking for help. So in her case offering empathy and suggesting ways of dealing with her difficulties in ways that take into account our innate weaknesses is anything but condoning or minimizing what she already knew and was painfully fighting - that it IS SIN.

Were she not *painfully *concerned, she never would have come here in the first place, or asked for help in such self-revealing terms.

 

[benedictus2]

Bene2: you say “However, loving them in their brokenness must never mean condoning sin because true repentance for our sins only come when we recognize them for what they are: sins.”

Exactly. And in this case, the thread was started by a young lady specifically stating that she knew she was sinning, and she was asking for help. So in her case offering empathy and suggesting ways of dealing with her difficulties in ways that take into account our innate weaknesses is anything but condoning or minimizing what she already knew and was painfully fighting - that it IS SIN.

Were she not *painfully *concerned, she never would have come here in the first place, or asked for help in such self-revealing terms.

And if you read my previous post (# 76) you will know that I am very much aware of that. I really feel for her. And I have great respect for her.

My response was not directed to her at all.

It is only a reply to the general tone of the post I replied to.

It was really just to emphasize that we can both be compassionate (emphasizing the great mercy of God) and at the same time equally stress the need for repentance, and it only comes about if those who minister to the broken do not equivocate on sin.

I have heard of so many people (nuns even) who in their compassion for those suffering AIDS in Africa have started to attack the Catholic Church’s stand on contraception.

Pople Benedict said it so well. Love and Truth needs to go together.

 

[George14]

Amen, Bene.

And on that subject, it is deplorable how not only "other Christian denominations * but "catholic theologians and feel-good interpreters of our own faith ignore truth and/or minimize it - often simply by omission. I do think “fear of losing financial support” and of alienating parishioners has a lot to do with the omission part in our own discipline…

We all need a good dose of Fr. Corapi’s ONWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS approach.*

 

[elvisman]

indeed, i think many people are so concerned with being compassionate they let it obscure the full truth.

we all struggle with this issue, it is one of the few areas in life where all people can speak with an authoritative knowledge of the subject. everybody lusts. the difference is in how we deal with it.

In a few short sentences, you have spoken volumes, my friend.

 

[warpspeedpetey]

If properly equiped, everyone can walk a tightrope between two tall buildings… or get a base hit off of a major league pitcher… or throw a knock out punch against an accomplished prize fighter… It isn’t easy, but you gotta admit, it is possible!

trust me, chastity is not nearly as hard or dangerous as those activities. you can say no, and nothing will bad will happen.

 

[warpspeedpetey]

We must not equivocate on moral issues. But we do need to deliver our message with love and kindness.

However, loving them in their brokenness must never mean condoning sin because true repentance for our sins only come when we recognize them for what they are: sins.

It is after all the publican who recognized his sinfulness who came away at rights with God. Had he maintained that what he was doing was okay, then he would have been worse than the pharisee.

quite right, salvation requires much, true compassion recognizes that the only true goal in life is entry into the Kingdom of Heaven
and acts in complete accord with that goal.

p.s. yes i know i don’t have much of an “inside voice”, indirectness is not really part of my makeup

 

[benedictus2]

indirectness is not really part of my makeup

And God in his wisdom made you that way for a reason. There are those who will need your direct approach and I can think of one right now

 

[warpspeedpetey]

And God in his wisdom made you that way for a reason. There are those who will need your direct approach and I can think of one right now

indeed,

it took me a long time too realize that.

then i understood that G-d forms each of us just so, suffering a little here, a little there, wearing away a little pride over here, building up a little strength over there.

a tool is formed to fit the Masters Hand and to do His bidding.

no man can turn too his maker and cry out “why me?, Why did you make me like this?”

no, indeed

thank you,

 

[Celeste88]

I am an 19 year old girl and, have always been a very conservative catholic. I have a severe problem that I have been trying to fix for a few years. I have an abnormally, ridiculously high sex drive that I can’t seem to overcome no matter what I do. I have been with a young man for 2 years now, who is now my fiancee. We lost our virginity to eachother when we first started going out, which we dreadfully regret, and we made a commitment to purity ever since then. But for some reason within the last few months I want nothing more but to have sex with him again. Sometimes all I have to do is look at him and I am overwhelmed with sexual desire. I masturbate almost every day and am constantly filled with impure thoughts. Recently, I nearly seduced him because I wanted it so bad. I have tried everything to make it go away, because I know its so sinful. I have prayed novenas, begged the Blessed Mother for help, and talked to a priest about it. I don’t want to be in Purgatory for 10,000 years because what I do, and I don’t want him to think I’m becoming a slut. I even cry when I’m praying because I can’t stop thinking about sex. I don’t know what else to do, I know I need to stop, but I don’t know how. I love God, and I love my fiancee very much and am doing everything to keep myself from bringing him down with my impurities. Is there any possible way to calm my sexual urge?? We arent going to be married for three more years, so its a long commitment. Feel free to pray for me as well!!!

ummm…Ok, this is a radical approach, but most antidepressents, (except Welbutrin) will depress your sex drive and make it hard to reach a climax. If you are truly bothered by your sex drive, you can try asking your doctor for an antidepressent - but I’m not sure he/she will prescribe this to you unless you’re depressed…or have an OCD…maybe obsessive sexual desire can be considered an OCD?

This is unfortunately all due to your hormones my dear…I’ve gone through the same thing…but trust me, when you reach your 50’s and you’re married to the same man for decades sex is the last thing you’ll think about.

 

[warpspeedpetey]

ummm…Ok, this is a radical approach, but most antidepressents, (except Welbutrin) will depress your sex drive and make it hard to reach a climax. If you are truly bothered by your sex drive, you can try asking your doctor for an antidepressent - but I’m not sure he/she will prescribe this to you unless you’re depressed…or have an OCD…maybe obsessive sexual desire can be considered an OCD?

This is unfortunately all due to your hormones my dear…I’ve gone through the same thing…but trust me, when you reach your 50’s and you’re married to the same man for decades sex is the last thing you’ll think about.

what is that, chastity in a pill? indeed

there are so many things wrong with telling this young lady to solve her problems with drugs im not sure where to begin.

what about all the other effects of psychosomatic medications?

how will it affect her body?

how will it effect her relationships?

what will it do to her mental state?

those drugs can be extremely dangerous for some people.

that advice is completely irresponsible

and then you encourage her to lie to get a prescription.

how does committing one sin, help you prevent another?

bad form, very bad form indeed!

 

[TLM08]

ummm…Ok, this is a radical approach, but most antidepressents, (except Welbutrin) will depress your sex drive and make it hard to reach a climax. If you are truly bothered by your sex drive, you can try asking your doctor for an antidepressent - but I’m not sure he/she will prescribe this to you unless you’re depressed…or have an OCD…maybe obsessive sexual desire can be considered an OCD?

This is unfortunately all due to your hormones my dear…I’ve gone through the same thing…but trust me, when you reach your 50’s and you’re married to the same man for decades sex is the last thing you’ll think about.

Drugging our young people is one of the worst abominations over the past 50 years. There is nothing physically wrong with this girl based on what she is saying in her post. Her mind is filled with impurity because our culture is one big cesspool at the end of a large sewer pipe. This sewer pipe is called the popular media. Modern music, movies, magazines, radio shows and television peddle goods and services like clothing, jewelry, cosmetics, cars, you name it. They manipulate our Gog-given innermost desire for intimacy with a steady stream of highly sensual images and messages. Their aim is to convince people that the purpose of life is to be entertained and to look good and there is nothing better than achieving the perfect body and having lots of hot sex. This is all being done by large corporations in the persuit of profits.

No my friend, the answer isn’t drugs. The answer is to cut off the media sewer pipe and give prayer a bigger part of her routine. As her mind begins to regain a lot of the innocence she once had as a child her masturbating will slow down.

As far as marital sex slowing down after being married to someone for decades, I am convinced that this is perfectly natural as well. As the child bearing years end, there is no biological reason for women to have intercourse whatsoever. Our sewerpipe culture has millions of mature men convinced that they need viagra in order to keep their marriage or “relationship” intact. It’s all so sick.

The best thing we can all do is shut off the media sewer pipe into our homes so that young people can enjoy their lives without having all of the sexual garbage bringing them down and us old goats can relax and enjoy our approaching “golden years” as God intended!

 

[George14]

I don’t think the suggestion to consider medication to alleviate an abnormality of excessive sexual drive is intended to negate anything of principle, but like pain killers prescribed for their own sake, to alleviate pain, such things are quite appropriate. Nor did I read any advice to be sneaky or deceitful in order to obtain the meds: the post was intended to be helpful, coming from someone with personal experience in the matter. If a med is OTC, its use would be presumed to be harmless enough: if not, if it is only available by prescription, then that is worth pursuing.

 

[Seatuck]

ummm…Ok, this is a radical approach, but most antidepressents, (except Welbutrin) will depress your sex drive and make it hard to reach a climax. If you are truly bothered by your sex drive, you can try asking your doctor for an antidepressent - but I’m not sure he/she will prescribe this to you unless you’re depressed…or have an OCD…maybe obsessive sexual desire can be considered an OCD?

This is unfortunately all due to your hormones my dear…I’ve gone through the same thing…but trust me, when you reach your 50’s and you’re married to the same man for decades sex is the last thing you’ll think about.

Emlif,
Well, I wouldn’t jump right to suggesting a treatment but I would suggest a trip to the doctor to assess all the hormones and make sure they are in balance. There might be something metabolical going on that is a part of this struggle as well as the mental ,nomal physical and spiritual aspects.

Otherwise get some help form the True Love Club or other resources through Catholic Answers or another source devoted to chastitiy. Father Groeshel has a book The Courage To Be Chaste that might help.

 

[warpspeedpetey]

I don’t think the suggestion to consider medication to alleviate an abnormality of excessive sexual drive is intended to negate anything of principle, but like pain killers prescribed for their own sake, to alleviate pain, such things are quite appropriate. Nor did I read any advice to be sneaky or deceitful in order to obtain the meds: the post was intended to be helpful, coming from someone with personal experience in the matter. If a med is OTC, its use would be presumed to be harmless enough: if not, if it is only available by prescription, then that is worth pursuing.

Who doesn’t have raging hormones? especially at that age.
i still do, at twice that age.

and on what basis did this layman, observe an abnormality in the sex drive?

nor is the symptom ‘pain’ its absolutely normal to have a raging sex drive,

if it aint broke don’t fix it

but most important, go to a doctor for that kind of advice

 

[Celeste88]

You think medication is too radical…consider what Jesus says on the subject…‘if your eye is causing you to sin…pluck it out’
If you are sinning constantly and can’t restrain yourself, then medication would be reasonable…and certainly more reasonable than a castration or a frontal lobotony!

 

[NTOT]

You think medication is too radical…consider what Jesus says on the subject…‘if your eye is causing you to sin…pluck it out’

Jesus was using hyperbole here. Obviously ones eye does not “cause” one to sin. Sin is an act of the will. Neither does Jesus literally mean to pluck you’re eye out. In fact, that would be a sin.

 

[warpspeedpetey]

Y
If you are sinning constantly and can’t restrain yourself, then medication would be reasonable.!

in what way can you not restrain yourself, its not a drug, many people through the centuries have practiced chastity.

it is a matter of will, which we all possess to the same degree.
what we all dont possess to the same degree is a desire to apply that will in the avoidance of lust.

if you dont apply that will, you can hardly call it an inabililty to restrain oneself.

people do it all the time

and it requires nothing more than a cold shower